The Case of The Tickler
By Lois_Lane_Fan
Rated G
Lois and Clark take on one of the most unusual villains they’ve ever come across.
Disclaimer: Lois and Clark and related characters belong to DC Comics and Warner Brothers Studio. The only characters that belong to me are Sarah Carter and a few minor characters.
Rated: G
Chapter 1
“Great shades of Elvis! Lane! Kent! Get in here!” Perry called from his office. He sounded annoyed.
“What is it, chief?” asked Lois.
“Anything wrong?” asked Clark.
“I was just going over the bank robbery story the two of you turned in,” Perry said with a sigh.
“And?” Lois asked.
“And your description of the suspect sounds ridiculous. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was reading tabloid trash.”
“Several witnesses described her exactly the way we wrote her description in the story,” Clark chimed in.
“Right,” Lois backed him up. “We know it sounds farfetched, but a lot of thing that are real seemed farfetched at first, like Superman. Besides, everyone we talked to was adamant that our description was accurate.”
“What description are you talking about,” Jimmy said as he stuck his head through the door.
“Jimmy?!” Lois yelled as she turned her head to him. “Eavesdropping?”
“Of course not,” Jimmy said indignantly. “I didn’t realize that you and C.K. were in here when I opened the door.”
“Female, late twenties to mid thirties,” Perry read. “Estimated to be about five feet and eight inches tall. Blonde hair and blue eyes.”
“That doesn’t sound so unusual,” Jimmy replied. “I’ve dated a few girls that match that description.”
“Just wait a minute; you haven’t heard the weird part yet,” Lois whispered to him.
“Wearing a black leather outfit with five inch high heel shoes,” Perry continued. “No mask. At the center of her chest, there is an emblem of a red feather. Also, witnesses explained that she carried a small gun in her hand. None of the witnesses questioned could verify the make and model of the gun, but one witness claims that he saw a feather duster sticking out of the end of it.” Perry looked up from the paper. “A feather duster? Sticking out of a gun? I can’t print this. It’s pretty obvious that your witness is a drunk.”
“Well, then take out the part about the feather duster,” Lois replied defensively. “The rest of the description matches up with what every single other witness told us.”
“A red feather emblem across her chest?” Perry said in disbelief.
“So what?” Lois argued. “Superman wears an S across his chest. This bank robber wears a feather across her chest.”
“We had Jimmy research the possible significance behind the red feather,” Clark interjected.
“And?” Perry asked.
“From what I’ve seen,” Jimmy explained, “in some Native American cultures, a red feather symbolizes good fortune. I’m not sure if that’s significant or not, but it’s all I could find. There’s not a whole lot of information on red feathers out there.”
“Uh huh,” Perry replied dismissively. “OK, let’s say she really was wearing what the witnesses described. It’s unusual, but I can accept a bank robber with a weird taste in fashion. What I can’t accept is a feather duster attached to a gun.”
“Maybe she had a lot of dusting to do, and she made up the feather duster-gun as a tool for housework?” Jimmy guessed.
Lois, Clark, and Perry just stared blankly at Jimmy, causing him to become uncomfortable about his joke.
“OK, so maybe not,” Jimmy said as he shrugged his shoulders.
“In all likeliness, if the witness wasn’t drunk, he was confused,” Perry explained. “Being in a bank as it is being robbed is a scary experience. You can’t blame the man if he was seeing things. And that’s all this was.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Clark admitted.
“I’ve got a feeling about this, and my gut is telling me that you’re the one who’s wrong,” Lois disagreed. “I’ve talked to a lot of different witnesses over the years, and I can usually tell who knows what they’re talking about and who’s too rattled to remember all the details. Believe me; the feather duster-gun is legit.”
“Prove it, then.” Perry answered. “The same suspect committed her third bank robbery this week a few hours ago,” Perry replied. “Head down to the Bank of Metropolis on Reeves Street, and get me some proof that there’s a crazy bank robber loose who carries a feather duster as a weapon. If you’re right, it’ll make a great story.”
*****
At the scene of the crime, Lois and Clark interviewed the bank employee who had let the bank robber into the safe. The woman was still a wreck from the ordeal she’d been through. She fidgeted a lot, her voice was hoarse, and she gave a nervous laugh after every answer. She was also sweating bullets. In addition, her clothes were a little disheveled, and both of her shoes were missing.
“My name is Susan Thomas,” the woman said quietly. “I’ve worked here for ten years, and nothing like this has ever happened before. Ha-ha.”
“It’s OK,” Clark said as he rubbed her shoulder. “You’re OK now. Go on.”
“She grabbed me by the throat and told me to give her the code to the bank vault. Hee-hee-hee. At first I refused, but then, she threatened to… to…”
“Go on; go on,” Lois said excitedly.
“She stuck a gun with a feather duster at the end of it up to my face, and she told me she’d tickle me with it if I didn’t tell her what she wanted to know. Ha-ha-ha.”
Lois and Clark turned to each other immediately, both with stunned looks on their faces. Had they really just heard the witness correctly? It seemed that the feather duster-gun was real, but its use seemed so absurd. Could it be that there really was a criminal in Metropolis using tickling as a way to get into bank vaults?
The first chapter was short and more of a teaser, so here's chapter two.
Chapter 2
“She what?” Lois asked in disbelief.
“She threatened to tickle me if I didn’t give her the code to the bank vault,” said Susan. “You see, I’m the only one who knows it. Hee-hee-hee.”
“You can’t be serious,” Lois replied incredulously. “I can understand giving her the code if she pointed a real gun in your face, but you caved over a feather duster-gun?”
“Of course not,” Susan said snappily. “I refused to tell her the code, and then, she pulled out a needle. Ha-ha. She injected some sort of drug into my arm. Then, she took out a rope and tied me to that chair over there. Ha-ha-ha.”
“And then?” asked Lois.
“She took off my shoes and tickled my feet,” Susan replied. “I swear to you, I never thought being tickled would be enough for me to spill my guts, but I would have told her anything to make it stop. It was like torture.”
While Lois had been taking charge of the interview, Clark had been busy searching the room for clues. Clark thought to himself that it was a good thing that Lois usually got so engaged in the interviews because it gave him the perfect opportunity to lower his glasses and utilize his X-Ray vision. He wouldn’t have that opportunity if Lois was watching him all the time. At first, he hadn’t seen anything of importance, but then, just as Susan was explaining the needle, he saw a syringe lying in the garbage can. Right away, he took off running towards the garbage can and dumped its contents onto the floor.
Lois and Susan both turned to look at Clark. “Exactly what do you think you are doing?” Lois scolded him.
“I thought the bank robber might have left some evidence behind,” explained Clark. “And, I was right.” He wrapped a napkin around his hand to protect any fingerprints on the syringe and then held it up triumphantly.
“Perfect!” Lois shouted excitedly. “And it looks like there’s some of whatever she injected Susan with left in there!”
Clark handed it over to a police officer, who then said, “Good work, Kent. As a reward for finding such a vital clue, I’ll be sure to give you a call and let you know what we find out after we examine the syringe.”
“Gee, thanks,” Clark replied with a big smile on his face.
*****
“So I guess you were right about the feather duster-gun,” Clark congratulated Lois as the two of them walked back to the Daily Planet.
“I keep telling you, Clark, never doubt my reporter’s intuition. I’m always right,” Lois boasted. “So, how long did your friend say it would take to analyze the drug?”
“About 24 hours,” answered Clark. “Before we left the bank, I called Jimmy and told him to research scientific studies based on tickling for us. Maybe he’ll come up with something we can use.”
“Let’s hope so,” replied Lois.
“This has to be the strangest story we’ve ever worked on,” said Clark. “I’m still shocked that we have a bank robber here in Metropolis that uses tickling as a method for getting information out of someone.”
“Pathetic,” Lois said very matter-of-factly.
“Huh?” asked Clark.
“That Susan Thomas from the bank,” Lois clarified. “I think she’s pathetic. If I was running that bank, she’d be fired right now. Giving up the code to the vault just because of a little tickling? Honestly.”
“I think that drug had some sort of effect on her, Lois. I doubt she’d have given in so easily otherwise.”
“Drug or no drug, I think I would have held up a lot better,” Lois bragged. “I used to tickle my sister Lucy for information, and it worked like a charm. One time she tried the same thing on me, and she didn’t get anything. I’m just not ticklish.”
“Lois, everybody is ticklish.”
“I’m not. Not even a little bit.”
A mischievous smile came over Clark’s face. He poked at Lois’ sides. Nothing. Then, he scribbled his hand across her belly. Still no reaction. Finally, he tried poking her in the sides a few more times. She didn’t even crack a grin.
“I told you,” Lois said as she rolled her eyes.
“Well, you’re no fun,” Clark grumbled.
“People who are ticklish just aren’t tough enough,” Lois explained. “It’s a matter of mind over matter. If you will yourself not to be ticklish, you won’t be ticklish.”
*****
The next morning at the Daily Planet, Jimmy brought Lois and Clark all of the research on tickling studies he could find. It took them half the day to go through everything he’d found. Unfortunately, most of it was useless for their purposes. There were studies on why people are ticklish. There were studies on why a person can’t tickle himself or herself. There were even studies on whether or not animals are ticklish. Unfortunately, none of that research seemed very useful. Then, around lunchtime, Clark received a call from the police department. He was told that the tests on the drug were inconclusive. Even worse, no fingerprints were found. After all this bad luck, Lois and Clark were about ready to give up when Lois finally stumbled onto something.
“This says that Dr. Joseph Banks has been doing research into tickling for the past five years,” Lois said as she looked up from one of the files. “Specifically, he’s been researching how tickling can be used as a weapon.”
“A weapon? That kind of sounds like our bank robber,” said Clark.
“From his profile, it looks like he’s been trying to create a drug that will make people ultrasensitive and therefore more susceptible to tickling,” Lois explained. “According to this, his hope is to use it for CIA or military purposes.”
“I guess it’s better than conventional means of torture,” Clark replied. “I mean, it wouldn’t leave a mark on anyone or permanently harm them in any way.”
“I think we need to have a chat with Dr. Banks,” Lois said as she picked up the phone.
*****
Lois and Clark entered Dr. Banks’ laboratory and immediately observed that the place looked like a mess. The counters were covered in papers. There were birds of all types in cages around the room, and there were feathers lying all over the ground. At the center of the room, Dr. Banks sat eating a sandwich.
Dr. Banks was 55-years-old, fairly tall, and overweight. He had gray hair and gray eyes, and he wore glasses and a white lab coat.
“Excuse the mess,” he said politely. “My lab assistant quit her job recently. That’s why everything’s out of order. She was very helpful when she worked here, but I’m pretty sure she stole some of the things I’ve been working on when she left. Is that why you’re here? Are you investigating my former lab assistant?”
“Doctor, do you have a picture of your lab assistant?” asked Clark. “We have reason to suspect that she might be behind more than robbing just you. We suspect she used your technology to pull off a few bank robberies.”
“Right here,” he said as he pulled a photo out of a desk drawer. The woman in the picture matched the description of the suspect perfectly.
“I think we have our bank robber right there,” Lois said to Clark.
“What’s her name?” Clark asked.
“Her name is Sarah Carter,” Dr. Banks replied. “She always seemed like such a good lab assistant. I never would have suspected she would do something like this.”
Suddenly, the phone rang. Dr. Banks picked it up.
“It’s for you,” he said after talking to the person on the other end of the line for a few seconds. “Some guy named Jimmy. Says there’s been another bank robbery by Sarah. Here, I’ll write the address down for you.”
“If we have any more questions, we’ll call you,” Lois said as she snatched the paper out of Dr. Banks’ hand and headed for the door.
*****
Just as Lois and Clark reached the outside of the bank, Clark heard someone scream, “Help Superman!” Never one to leave a cry for help unanswered, Clark hurriedly thought up an excuse to leave.
“Lois, why don’t you handle this interview.”
“Why?” Lois asked, sounding somewhat suspicious.
“I’m hungry,” Clark explained. “I’m going to go get a cheeseburger.”
As Clark took off running, Lois called out, “You aren’t even going to ask me if I want one? Thanks a lot, Clark!”
As she shook her head in disbelief, she entered the bank. This time rather than going straight for the interview, she decided to look around for clues for a second. That had worked for them last time when Clark found the syringe, after all. Lois soon noticed that there, on the floor, was a sheet of paper. She picked it up and examined it. On the paper, several bank names were listed.
Savage Banking Group
Queen Investments
Bank of Metropolis
Washington Savings
Wayne Financial
All of them but one was a bank Sarah Carter had already hit. Lois deduced that this meant her next target was the last bank on the list. That meant Lois’ next step was to head to Wayne Financial.
*****
Later that day, Lois entered Wayne Financial with a sheet of paper in her hand. She walked up to the front desk and handed it to the man at the desk.
“Here’s my application for the janitor position,” Lois said with a smile.
“When can you start?” the man asked.
“Immediately,” replied Lois.
Chapter 3
Superman flew as fast as he could towards the call for help. He knew the general direction he’d heard the call come from - - near the Daily Planet. Exactly where the call came from, though, he was unsure. Once he’d made his way to the front of the Daily Planet, he tried focusing his super hearing. Then, he heard the call again. “Help, Superman!” It was at this moment that he realized he recognized the voice. It was Jimmy!
Superman raced toward his friend, hoping he’d get there in time. When he finally reached Jimmy, he stopped dead in his tracks. Jimmy was tied to a phone pole. From what Superman could tell, he seemed to be unharmed.
Superman flew back into the air and used his telescopic vision to scan the perimeter. Unfortunately, whoever had done this to Jimmy either seemed to be long gone or was hiding out of sight. He used his X-ray vision, but he still couldn’t see anything suspicious. Defeated, Superman flew back to the ground.
“Jimmy, are you OK?” Superman asked him as he ripped the ropes off of his friend.
“Yeah, I’m all right.”
“Who did this to you?” Superman asked.
“This bank robber that Lois and C.K. have been investigating,” Jimmy replied. “I was walking out to get lunch down the street, and I saw her running past me. I knew it was her from the description Lois and C.K. gave in their article.”
“And then she attacked you?” asked Superman.
“No,” answered Jimmy. “She didn’t even seem to care about me when she saw me. She just kept running. I saw my opportunity to stop a potentially dangerous bank robber and maybe get a picture worthy of the front page, though, so I chased after her.”
“That was very dangerous,” Superman sighed.
“I know,” Jimmy admitted.
“What happened next?” Superman asked.
“You would have been proud of me,” replied Jimmy. “I was much faster than she was. I managed to catch up to her and knock her over. I thought I had the advantage over her, but she kicked me in the leg. I guess that was enough of a distraction for her because the next thing I knew, she was back on her feet and I had a fist in the eye.”
“You’re not hurt, are you?” Superman asked in a concerned tone.
“No, not really,” said Jimmy. “It was funny. She seemed really apologetic. She told me she was sorry. That she didn’t want to hurt me. She even took a good look at my eye to make sure I wasn’t too badly hurt. For a minute, I forgot that she was a dangerous criminal. She seemed really nice, and well, it didn’t hurt that she’s a pretty good looking woman.”
“Jimmy,” Superman said in a reprimanding tone.
“OK, OK,” Jimmy said as he smiled. “She pulled a rope out of her bag full of money and tied me to this pole after that. Then she apologized again, told me that I shouldn’t have tried to stop her, and told me I should put some ice on this eye whenever somebody unties me.”
“She’s right,” Superman replied. He then held out his hands and blew some ice into them using his super breath. “Do you have anything you can wrap this in?”
“Yeah,” Jimmy replied as he pulled out a handkerchief. “Thanks, Superman.”
“You’re welcome,” Superman replied as he wrapped the handkerchief around the ice. “Keep this over your eye for awhile. I think you’ll be just fine.”
He then flew into the air. Remembering that he’d told Lois he was going out for a cheeseburger, he stopped at a nearby fast food restaurant to get one. He knew that Lois would be pretty mad at him for taking off so abruptly. She usually was upset after one of his disappearing acts. In order to alleviate the problem, he bought two cheeseburgers instead of just one. He remembered that before he’d left, Lois seemed annoyed that he hadn’t offered to buy her a cheeseburger, so he figured this would be one way to get on Lois’ good side when he returned.
After leaving the fast food restaurant, he flew back into the air and headed towards the bank. Once he reached the bank, he flew down into some bushes, looked around to make sure nobody was in sight, and spun out of his Superman costume. After that, he checked his watch and realized his trip had taken longer than he’d expected. He’d been gone a little over half an hour. He figured that wouldn’t be a problem, though, because Lois usually got caught up in interviewing people when she was on a big story and therefore might still be in the bank. So, he walked into the bank and looked around. Unfortunately, Lois was already gone.
“Clark Kent, Daily Planet. Has my partner, Lois Lane talked to you yet?” he asked the manager of the bank.
“Yes, she asked me a couple of questions briefly,” he replied. “She seemed to be in a little bit of a hurry, though. She rushed right out after just a few questions. Not at all like the other reporters I'd spoken with.”
Leaving the scene of a crime without learning all that much from a witness? That didn’t sound like Lois.
“Did she happen to say where she was going?” asked Clark.
“No, she didn’t.”
“I guess she probably went back to the Planet,” Clark said to himself. “Thank you very much for your time, sir.”
*****
At the Daily Planet, Clark exited the elevator and looked around. He spotted Lois talking on the phone with her feet propped up on her desk. Next to her desk, she had several different types of cleaning supplies, and she was wearing a blue uniform with the words ‘Wayne Financial’ printed on the back of it. As she spoke on the phone, she jotted down notes every so often on a pad of paper in her hand.
Clark’s first reaction was to wonder what Lois had gotten herself into this time.
“Lois, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Clark said as he approached her desk.
“Now you know how I feel when you suddenly disappear on me,” Lois said sarcastically. “And, shhh… I’m on the phone with Dr. Banks right now. Some of us care more about getting the story than filling our stomachs.”
“Speaking of which, your lunch is probably cold now,” Clark said as he threw the cheeseburger onto Lois’ desk.
“That’s okay. I already ate,” Lois said to Clark. Then, she said into the phone, “No, I wasn’t talking to you, Dr. Banks. My partner finally returned from his lunch break. Uh huh… yes… Thank you very much. I’ll be sure to call you back if I have any more questions. Okay, good bye, Dr. Banks.” She hung up the phone.
“Where have you been?” asked Clark.
“I found this sheet of paper.” She handed it to Clark
Clark examined the paper for a few seconds. “It’s a list of banks in the area. All of them but Wayne Financial were robbed by our suspect.”
“Exactly,” Lois replied. “That’s why I got a job as a janitor at Wayne Financial. I figure I might be able to catch her in the act of the crime.”
“We should give this to the police,” responded Clark.
“I already did. I wrote my own copy of the list first, though, for my own purposes.”
“I think this is a bad idea,” said Clark. “First of all, you should have consulted with me before deciding to go undercover. Second of all, we still don’t know how dangerous The Tickle Bandit is. I don’t like the thought of you putting yourself in danger.”
“The Tickle Bandit?” Lois asked with a shudder.
“That’s the name I was thinking of giving her in our article.”
“I don’t like it,” Lois replied. “How about The Tickler?”
“The Tickler?” asked Clark. “I guess that sounds alright. I don’t really care what we decide to call her. I’m more worried about what she might do next. And now, you’re going to be in the crossfire if something goes wrong. I still wish you had talked to me before deciding to go undercover. We might have been able to come up with something less dangerous if we talked it out first.”
“You took off,” replied Lois. “How can I ask you your thoughts about going undercover if you’re not there?”
“You could have waited,” said Clark.
“I’m impatient.”
“I know,” Clark said with a snicker. “Maybe I should apply for a job there, too. I could be a bank teller or something.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. If The Tickler uses that drug on you, you’ll melt into a pile of mush,” Lois said as she poked at Clark’s sides, causing him to jump a little. “On the other hand, I’m not ticklish. I’ll be much better off alone. You’ll just get in the way.”
“Fine,” Clark gave up.
As he’d thought about it over the next several moments, Clark decided that he may have been making too big of a deal out of the situation. Under regular circumstances, he wouldn’t give up so easily, but the truth was that Sarah Carter didn’t seem like all that dangerous of a criminal. Nobody had been killed or injured in all her previous robberies. The only weapon she carried during any of her robberies was a feather duster-gun. What’s the worst that could happen? Lois gets tickle tortured? She seemed pretty resistant to tickling anyways.
“Now, I talked to Dr. Banks to see what Sarah stole from him. I wanted to know what I’m getting myself into,” explained Lois. “He told me that she stole several feather-duster guns, an unknown quantity of the sensitivity drug, and a few pairs of something he called tickling boots. He says she took both men and women sizes.”
“Tickling boots?” Clark asked.
“Apparently, they were designed to look like any ordinary boots,” explained Lois. “There’s a remote control that can switch the boots from being inactive to being active. Once they’re active, the person wearing the boots gets a tickling feeling on his or her feet. Also, once active, the boots are magnetically sealed to the person’s feet and are basically impossible to remove.”
“Interesting,” said Clark. “What will they think of next?”
*****
At Wayne Financial the next day, Lois went about her duties as the new janitor. She’d already cleaned the windows, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted the counters, and swept the floor. She was currently in the process of emptying the garbage cans when a woman in a trench coat walked past her and got in line. Lois studied her face and realized that it was Sarah Carter, The Tickler. Thinking fast, she ran over to the manager of the bank, grabbed her by the arm, and pulled her into her office.
“What is the meaning of this?” Patricia Woods, manager of Wayne Financial, asked irately.
“You see that woman in the back of the line?” asked Lois. Patricia nodded. “That’s a bank robber known as The Tickler.”
“How do you know this?” asked Patricia.
“I’m a reporter from the Daily Planet,” Lois explained. “I took this job as a janitor so I could work undercover here. I had reason to believe this bank would be her next target, and I was right.”
“What do we do?” Patricia asked in a frantic tone. “This bank has never been robbed in all the time I’ve been the manager here. I literally have no idea what to do in an emergency like this. I have three children and a husband at home!” It was clear that Patricia was panicking.
“Listen,” Lois said calmly. “The last time she robbed a bank, she tickled the bank manager to get the vault code out of her. She didn’t hurt anybody. She just tickled her. I suspect that she’ll do the same now. Just go out there and let her think nothing’s wrong while I call the police.”
“I can’t do that!” Patricia yelled as tears ran down her eyes. “I’m afraid! How can you guarantee that she won’t hurt me?”
“Would you feel better if I stall her by pretending to be the bank manager?” asked Lois. “I can stall her, and you can call the police.”
“Fine,” Patricia said as she took off her name tag and put it in Lois’ hand. “You’ll have to change out of that janitor’s uniform, though. Nobody will believe you’re the manager otherwise.”
Outside, The Tickler had finally reached the front desk. She immediately ripped the trench coat off to reveal her usual leather costume. She then pointed at the gun in her holster and said, “Listen up, everybody, empty all of the money into this bag. Nobody needs to get hurt. And another thing. I’ll need to speak with your manager about opening the vault.”
As she spoke, Lois exited Patricia’s office. She was now wearing a white blouse, a black skirt, Patricia’s nametag, and a pair of black high heels.
“I’m the manager,” she said confidently. “And, you’re not getting into that vault.”
“When will you fools ever learn,” said The Tickler. “I always get what I want.”
Lois lunged at the bank robber and knocked her to the ground. The Tickler and Lois wrestled around for a minute. At first, Lois seemed to have the upper hand against her enemy. She’d successfully managed to pin The Tickler to the ground and was sitting on top of her. Unfortunately, The Tickler managed to reach into her belt and pull out a needle. She jabbed it into Lois’ arm, surprising her and causing her to wince in pain. The Tickler took advantage of this and flipped Lois onto her back. Now, Lois was the one pinned to the ground.
Finally, The Tickler pulled a rope out of her utility belt and managed to tie Lois to a nearby chair. Lois struggled to get loose, but her struggling was of no use. She was firmly tied down.
“Give me the bank code, honey, and make this easy on yourself,” ordered The Tickler.
“You’ll never get it out of me,” Lois replied boldly. “I’d die before giving up.”
“You won’t have to die, darling,” The Tickler said as she squeezed Lois’ cheek. “I don’t kill people. I don’t even use a real gun. See?” She pointed at the feather duster-gun, pulled it out of its holster, and stuck it right in Lois’ nose.
“Then what makes you think you can make me talk?” asked Lois.
“You can talk or get tickled,” replied The Tickler as she removed one of Lois’ heels. “And believe me; everybody chooses to talk.”
“I won’t.”
“We’ll see,” replied The Tickler.
The Tickler kneeled at Lois’ feet and pointed one finger at Lois’ right foot. Her nails were fairly long and painted a shade of dark red.
“Last chance,” said The Tickler. Lois didn’t reply, so she drew the nail slowly up and down Lois’ foot, causing Lois to twitch her foot slightly.
“Wait a minute, that actually tickled,” Lois thought to herself. Apparently the drug was more powerful than she’d expected. It didn’t matter, though. Surely the police would be here any minute now.
The Tickler began dancing her fingers up and down Lois’ foot, and Lois was actually struggling not to laugh! This was going to be tougher than Lois had thought. She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, attempting not to show any sign of weakness to The Tickler. What was it she’d told Clark? It was all about mind over matter? A strong person could will himself or herself not to be ticklish? She couldn’t have been more wrong! After a few tickles to Lois’ foot using just her fingers, The Tickler pulled out the feather duster-gun and turned it on. The feather duster attached to the gun began slowly rotating in a clockwise motion, and just as the feathers touched Lois’ toes, police sirens began howling in the background, causing The Tickler to stop abruptly.
“Thank God,” Lois thought to herself.
The Tickler ran over to a nearby window and looked outside. The bank was surrounded by police cars, and there were police officers swarming all over the parking lot. She then looked out another window, trying to think of an exit strategy. There didn’t seem to be anything she could do to escape.
“You might as well give up now,” she heard Lois say from behind her. “You’ll never escape from all those cops. I’ll also let you in on a little secret. I’m tight with Superman. If he gets here and see’s me in danger, you’re toast.”
“Shut up; shut up,” Sarah ordered as she pounded her fists onto her head as if to try to force a plan out of her brain.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Sarah, Lois, and the other hostages stared at it in silence. It rang three times without an answer. Finally, Sarah moved towards it and picked it up.
“Hello, this is Tyler Warren with the Metropolis Police Department,” said the voice coming from the phone. “You can call me Tyler. What’s your name?”
“Do you actually think I’m dumb enough to tell you my name?” asked The Tickler. “I’m a bank robber; you’re a cop. Do you think I don’t get the concept that you want to put me behind bars!”
“Sorry ma’am,” replied Tyler in a calm voice. “I didn’t mean to imply you’re dumb.”
“Yeah, well you’re ‘make friends with the criminal’ routine isn’t going to work,” replied The Tickler.
“I really want to help you,” said Tyler. “We have you surrounded. There’s nowhere for you to go. Look, we want what’s best for everyone. Your best shot at survival is to come out now, okay?”
“Fine,” said The Tickler. “Listen, I don’t want anybody to get hurt, either. I’m not a bad person. Let’s make this a little bit easier on everyone. I’ll release the hostages first. Then, you can come in here, and I’ll turn myself in.”
“That sounds like a good plan, ma’am.”
The Tickler hung up the phone and picked up her trench coat, which was still lying on the floor. As she put it on, she said, “You heard me, you’re all free to leave.”
The hostages didn’t have to be told twice. Only Lois, who was still tied to the chair, sat still. The rest of the hostages all hastily headed towards the door, practically knocking each other over in order to get out. It was just what The Tickler had been hoping for. Unnoticed by anybody else, she wriggled her way into the crowd and walked right out of the main exit just like the hostages. Once outside, she made sure nobody was looking and ran out of sight.
Just as the hostages were being released, Superman flew down from the air. Usually, he looked calm during even the most dangerous crisis, but this time, there was a noticeable look of uneasiness on his face. He was worried about Lois, and he was desperately scanning the crowd for any sign of her. He knew that Lois had been in that bank, but as he looked through the many unharmed hostages that had been released, he noticed that Lois wasn’t among them. He’d only allowed Lois to go into the bank to begin with because he didn’t think she’d be in any danger, but now, he was regretting that decision.
“Superman, you’re a little late this time.”
Superman turned around and noticed his friend Inspector Henderson. Henderson waved at Superman to signal him to follow him into the bank.
“I was busy putting out a fire in Gotham,” explained Superman. “I wish I could have been here earlier. Did you at least catch the bank robber? Also, is Lois Lane all right?”
“We got her to release her hostages, and she’s about to turn herself in to us,” explained Inspector Henderson. “I have no idea about Lois. Is she here?”
“She was undercover in the bank,” replied Superman. “If she didn’t exit with the hostages, I’m guessing The Tickler has another card up her sleeve.”
“You’re probably right,” Inspector Henderson said as he held his gun at the ready. “Good thing you let me know about Lois. I have the distinct feeling we just got played by The Tickler.”
Once they made it inside the bank, though, they saw that except for Lois, the room was empty. Lois was still tied to the chair and was still missing one of her shoes. She was thrashing around violently in the chair trying to escape, but she wasn’t having any luck. Furthermore, a handkerchief had been placed in her mouth to keep her from speaking.
“Lois, are you all right?” Superman asked as he pulled the handkerchief out of her mouth.
“I’m fine,” she replied. “The only problem is that ‘Barney Fife’ over there let The Tickler get away. I saw her leave with the hostages.”
“I’ll get you untied,” replied Superman as he ripped the ropes off of Lois.
*****
Later that day at the Daily Planet, Lois prepared her story on The Tickler. The title on the computer screen read “The Tickler Strikes Again,” but she hadn’t yet started writing the actual story. She was still a little bit flustered about the whole ordeal, though she’d played tough when questioned by Superman and Inspector Henderson. The truth was that the brief tickling she’d taken at the hands of The Tickler had had a unique effect on her. As a reporter, she’d been in plenty of jams before and had managed to keep her cool. Guns, knives, bombs – you name it – nothing had ever caused her to lose it. She’d been genuinely surprised that the tickling was such a torturous experience, and she wasn’t entirely sure what would have happened had The Tickler not been interrupted.
“Lois, I heard you had a tough day, so I thought I’d bring you a little treat.”
Lois turned around. It was Clark, and he was standing there with a bright smile on his face and a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
“It wasn’t such a bad day, but thanks,” Lois said as she grabbed the bag of doughnuts.
“You were taken hostage by a depraved bank robber,” replied Clark. “Don’t play it down. It was a big deal.”
“I don’t even know if I’d call her depraved,” replied Lois. “I keep thinking about what we know about her, and I don’t think she’s all that bad.”
“She robs banks for a living, Lois,” replied Clark.
“She doesn’t carry a gun or any other weapon that can permanently harm somebody. I know that from personal experience,” explained Lois.
“She didn’t carry a real gun this time. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t before or won’t use one in the future,” argued Clark.
“As far as we know, she never has carried a gun during any of her past heists. I doubt she’ll change her M.O. in the future,” replied Lois. “That tells me she’s not looking to hurt anybody.”
“I don’t know, Lois,” replied Clark.
“Another thing – Jimmy said she was very apologetic after his encounter with her,’ Lois continued. “For goodness sakes, she even told Jimmy he should put some ice on his eye.”
“After she punched him,” Clark reminded Lois.
“She didn’t want to punch him,” argued Lois. “She had to do something to escape, though.”
“Fine, maybe she’s not all that bad,” Clark gave in. “She’s not all that good, either, though.”
“Agreed,” replied Lois.
“Now that that’s settled, what are doughnuts without coffee?” asked Clark as he stood up. “I’ll go get us a couple of cups.”
As he started off to pour some coffee, he bumped into Cat Grant. Cat was wearing a low-cut top showing a lot of cleavage and a particularly short mini skirt. Had it been any other woman, Clark probably would have been surprised, but since it was Cat Grant, he barely even noticed the trashy outfit. Rather than staring at her in awe, he just kept going after politely saying, “Sorry. Excuse me.”
“Lois, you poor little dear. I heard you got tickle tortured for the code to the bank vault,” said Cat in a tone that conveyed fake sympathy. “Were you about to break before the police arrived?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Lois lied. “I’m not even ticklish.”
In the background, Clark was returning with the two cups of coffee. As he listened in on Lois’ conversation with Cat, he grinned. A playful thought entered his mind, and when he noticed Cat looking in his direction, he sat the two cups of coffee down and put a finger up to his mouth as he tiptoed in their direction.
“But she injected you with that drug, didn’t she? It didn’t heighten your senses just a teeny-weeny bit?” asked Cat as she wriggled her fingers at Lois.
“Not even a little bit,” replied Lois.
At this point, Clark was standing directly behind Lois, and his hands were hovering over her sides. As soon as the words “not even a little bit” left Lois’ mouth, he dug his fingers into Lois’ sides and began tickling. Lois shot straight up out of her chair like a rocket, tilted her backwards, and began guffawing.
“I knew you were ticklish,” said Clark as he stopped tickling.
“Oh, I am not, Clark,” grumbled Lois as she turned around and began wildly tickling Clark back.
Lois pushed Clark into the corner, held him against the wall, and continued tickling him all over. In retaliation, Clark began tickling Lois again. Meanwhile, Cat just stood there watching on with a lonely frown on her face, and a crowd of reporters began to gather as Lois and Clark continued the tickling.
Finally, a stern voice said, “Are you finished yet?”
Lois and Clark, now both quite disheveled, looked around and realized it was Perry. For the first time, they also noticed the crowd that had gathered around them. The happy grins on both of their faces faded into embarrassed frowns.
“Sorry, Perry, I guess we got a little carried away,” said Clark.
“Is that new story on The Tickler ready yet?” asked Perry.
“No,” replied Lois.
“Then I suggest the two of you get busy on it.” Then, he turned and faced the rest of his staff. “And the rest of you get busy on your stories.”
Everybody immediately rushed back to work, except for Lois and Clark, who both stood there catching their breath. Meanwhile, Cat slinked over to Clark, grabbed him by the tie, and pulled him over towards herself.
“Is it my turn?” she asked as she put her arms in the air and stretched her body seductively.
“I think it’s best to get back to work, now. You heard Perry,” said Clark.
Cat frowned and walked away. “Some women have all the fun,” she said as she gave Lois a poke to the ribs on her way past her, causing her to jump.
*****
Sarah Carter arrived home late that night. She was no longer wearing her costume. Instead, she wore the outfit she’d worn every day as a lab assistant, a white lab coat and black pants. She was carrying a bag full of groceries. When she opened the door, she was greeted by a woman in her sixties with gray hair.
“Hi, Mom,” Sarah said in a sad tone.
“Is there something wrong, dear?” her mother asked.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I can’t afford to help you with your bills this week. Dr. Banks assured me I’d be paid twice as much next week, though,” said Sarah.
“That Dr. Banks is such a nice man,” said Sarah’s mother. “He was so generous to fight to get you that raise to begin with.”
“He sure was,” lied Sarah. “Look, I’ll cook dinner, and then, I’m going to need a nap. It was a long day at work today.”
“That’s fine dear,” replied her mother. “I hope you’re not wearing yourself out on my account.”
“Mom, I promised you I’d take care of you, and I’m going to do it,” said Sarah. “If that means working a little harder, then that’s what it means.”
“You’re a good daughter,” she replied. “Your sisters certainly haven’t been as helpful since I had my surgery and got laid off from work. In fact, I haven’t even heard from Laura in a month. She’s been dodging my phone calls. You’ve always been the only daughter I could ever really depend on.”
“And you’ll always be able to depend on me, Mom.”
Then, out of the corner of her eye, Sarah noticed a newspaper with a story about The Tickler on the front page. She picked up the paper and looked at it. It was titled, “The Tickler Robs Third Bank” by Lois Lane and Clark Kent. There was a sketch artist’s version of The Tickler next to the story, but that wasn’t the picture that caught Sarah’s eye. The picture that interested her was the tiny picture of the reporters who’d written the story next to the article. Sarah squinted her eyes and studied Lois’ picture as hard as she could. Then, it hit her. That woman she’d tickled at the bank wasn’t the manger of the bank. It was Lois Lane, reporter for the Daily Planet!
The first reaction Sarah had to finding out she’d been face-to-face with a reporter was panic. This woman had seen Sarah’s face. She’d somehow figured out where Sarah would strike next. Who knows what else she had on Sarah. All of a sudden, Sarah felt like she was being hunted. She felt like a cornered animal. With reporters on her tail, there was a strong possibility she’d be caught soon. Before, Sarah had pretended like she was invincible to the law, but she finally realized that wasn’t the case. She had to do something. She had to leave before she got caught.
“Is something wrong?” her mother asked her.
“No, Mom,” she lied. “Everything’s just peachy.”
For the rest of the night, Sarah pretended it was just an ordinary night with her mother. However, once her mother went to bed, Sarah pulled an old suitcase out of her closet and began packing a few items.
*****
“Jimmy dropped off this profile on Sarah Carter this morning,” said Lois. “Looks like she lives with her mother. Think we should ask Sarah’s mother a few questions about her daughter?”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” said Clark.
*****
Lois and Clark stood in front of the house listed as Sarah’s residence and knocked on the door. A short woman with silver hair answered the door almost immediately.
“Yes?” she asked.
“I’m Clark Kent, and this is Lois Lane. We’re from the Daily Planet. Do you mind if we come in and ask a few questions?”
“Not at all,” the woman replied cheerfully.
Lois and Clark followed her into the house. As they walked into the living room, Lois and Clark both inspected their surroundings. There was no sign of Sarah. Seeing as how Mrs. Carter had let them into the house so easily, Clark assumed either she wasn’t aware Sarah was a bank robber or Sarah was either hiding or escaping at the moment. He looked up at the ceiling, pushed his glasses down slightly, and x-rayed the rooms upstairs. Nobody else was in the house.
“Would you like anything to drink?” asked Mrs. Carter.
Lois and Clark both said declined the offer, and Mrs. Carter asked them to sit down. Then, she asked them why they wanted to talk to her.
“Ma’am, we have reason to believe your daughter is a bank robber,” said Lois.
Clark gave her a sour look as if to scold Lois for the blunt way of telling the woman her daughter was a criminal. Lois was great at a lot of things, but she was awful at tenderly breaking the news that loved ones are criminals.
“Oh my goodness,” gasped Mrs. Carter. “Is it Donna or Cindy?”
“No, Mrs. Carter,” replied Lois. “It’s Sarah.”
Mrs. Carter stood up in an outrage. “Sarah is not a bank robber! How dare you tell such horrible lies! Get out; get out right now!”
“Mrs. Carter,” Clark said as he gently took the woman’s hand to calm her down. “We have proof. My partner here witnessed Sarah robbing a bank. We talked to Sarah’s former employer. Sarah stole items from his experiments that are being used in bank robberies.”
“I don’t believe it,” Mrs. Carter said as she sat back down. She seemed calmer, though. “Sarah’s the only one of my daughters who’s even helped me out financially. I would have lost this house if it hadn’t been for her.”
“Mrs. Carter, I think your daughter is a good person,” said Lois. “She hasn’t hurt anybody during any of the robberies. I don’t think she’d even be robbing banks if she didn’t feel like she had to do it.”
“You said your daughter has helped you out financially,” said Clark. “How so?”
“I found out I had kidney cancer and had to have my kidney removed. Sarah moved in with me afterwards to cook and clean for me. She also started paying some of my bills. I never asked her to do it, though. She insisted.”
“Have you been back to work since the operation?” asked Lois.
“I spent six months out of work. I came back to work for a week and was fired.”
“Isn’t that illegal?” asked Clark. “They can’t just fire you for missing work for a legitimate health reason, can they?”
“That’s what I tried to argue,” Mrs. Carter replied. “They just claimed I was fired for other reasons. They said I wasn’t good at my job. I heard from some coworkers that the boss wasn’t happy with me taking so much time off, though. The gossip was that I’d be fired the first chance he had to fire me. Guess the gossip was right.”
“That’s a shame,” said Lois. “Where did you work?”
“It was a factory that builds trucks. It’s a subsidiary of LexCorp.”
“I’m sure Lex Luthor has no idea how they treat their employees,” said Lois. “I know him personally. Maybe I can talk to him about getting your job back. He’s actually a really good person.”
Clark rolled his eyes at the thought of Lex Luthor being a good person and asked, “When was the last time you saw Sarah?”
“Just last night,” Mrs. Carter replied.
“If it’s at all possible for Sarah to get out of this with a light punishment, it’s very important that we talk to her right now,” said Clark.
“She’s at work now,” replied Mrs. Carter. “Well, she should be at work at least. All this time, I thought she was still working at the lab, but I guess it was all a lie to hide the bank robberies from me. She claimed the money she was giving me was from her job in order to keep me from getting upset. I guess I should have known better.”
“Sometimes, it’s hard to doubt a loved one,” Clark reassured her. “Do you mind if we take a look in her room? If she’s out robbing another bank, there might be a clue in there. We might still be able to stop her.”
“Go ahead and look around,” Mrs. Carter replied.
Lois and Clark went upstairs, but to their surprise, they found a letter lying on the bed. The letter explained that Sarah had been behind the bank robberies and that a reporter from the Daily Planet was on to her. Sarah also explained that she regretted robbing the banks, but it was the only way she could think of to help her mother out. Finally, Sarah said she’d continue to send money whenever she could.
“Well, this makes our job a whole lot harder,” said Lois.
“It sure does,” agreed Clark.
*****
Lois and Clark investigated where Sarah might have gone, but they didn’t come up with anything. Finally, towards the end of the day, Lois’ phone rang.
“Lois Lane, Daily Planet,” she answered.
“I have information on The Tickler for you,” the voice replied.
“Who is this?” Lois asked.
“You don’t need to know. All you need to do is meet me at your desk at the Daily Planet. Be there alone at midnight, or I won’t talk.”
The caller hung up the phone. For a minute, Lois considered telling Clark. Then, she decided that if she told him, he’d just insist on showing up with her, and that might scare off her source. If she was going to get anything about Sarah from this mysterious source, she’d have to show up alone like she was told to do.
*****
At midnight, Lois entered the Daily Planet alone. She cautiously looked from side to side as she slowly walked towards the elevator. She knew she was taking a risk by being here alone, so she wanted to be as careful as possible. Once she got to the bullpen, she slowly started towards her desk. The room was dark and empty, or so Lois thought. All of a sudden, a shadowy figure jumped out at Lois and knocked her to the ground. Before Lois even knew what hit her, her hands were tied behind her back.
“Miss Patricia Woods, manager of Wayne Financial, it’s so nice to see you again.” It was Sarah Carter. “Oh, I forgot. You’re actually Lois Lane, reporter for the Daily Planet.”
Lois attempted to get up and run, but as soon as she hopped to her feet, Sarah simply pushed her back down. Then, to ensure Lois wouldn’t attempt another escape, Sarah picked her up by her collar, sat her in the chair at her desk, and tied her to it.
“Not so fast, reporter,” said Sarah.
“Fine, so I’m a reporter,” said Lois. “Why lure me into a trap. You can’t possibly hope to gain anything from this.”
“I hope to find out what you know about me. Now talk, or I’ll tickle you again.” As she spoke, Sarah held her feather duster-gun at Lois’ nose.
“I know that your real name is Sarah Carter,” said Lois. “I know that you stole your tickling drug and a few other goodies from Dr. Banks. I also know you’re not a bad person. You’re only robbing those banks to help your mother. Am I right?”
Sarah lowered her feather duster-gun and frowned. Of all the things Lois could have said to her, she never thought she’d actually say something understanding about her predicament.
“You can still walk away from this life of crime,” said Lois.
“How?” asked Sarah. “I’m a bank robber. They don’t just let bank robbers go with a slap on the wrist.”
“Well, if you could return all the money you stole, that would be a step in the right direction,” Lois suggested. “And, the right defense attorney can get you out of any jam. I’m sure a jury would be sympathetic to your case. You never hurt anybody. That’s a point in your favor.”
“I don’t have the money. Remember, I spent it on my mother?” Sarah asked. “And I definitely can’t afford some expensive lawyer.”
“Actually, I can probably help you with that,” said Lois. “Today’s your lucky day. I just so happen to be friends with Lex Luthor. I plan on talking to him about getting your mother her job back. To make up for what his company did to your family, I’m sure he’d be willing to pay your legal bills.”
“You’re pals with Lex Luthor?” Sarah asked angrily. It was clear that Lois had said the wrong thing. “The man who runs the company that put me in this mess to begin with?”
“I’m sure Lex had no idea what the factory did to your mother,” said Lois.
“I get it now, you’re just in this to smooth things over for your friend,” said Sarah.
“No, that’s not what this is at all,” said Lois.
“The man who I’ve wanted revenge on for so long, and I have his girlfriend tied up right in front of me. It couldn’t be more perfect. I guess you’re lucky I’m not a violent person. Otherwise, you’d be in a lot of trouble right now.”
“Sarah?” asked Lois. She was starting to get nervous.
“I could tell you were starting to crack last time we tangoed,” said Sarah. “This time, I’ll go a little harder on you now that I know you’re tight with Lex Luthor.”
“Sarah, don’t do anything you’ll regret,” Lois pleaded.
Her pleas were of no use. Sarah swiftly knocked Lois’ heels off of her feet, put the feather duster-gun up to Lois’ left foot, and turned it on. This time, Sarah’s swift actions caught Lois by surprise, so she was unable to prepare for the tickling and pretend it wasn’t bothering her like she’d done the first time around. As the feathers touched her foot, Lois practically jumped out of her seat. Lois squirmed as much as she could, but the ropes didn’t allow her much freedom.
“Come on Lois, just remember what you said before,” Lois thought to herself. “It’s mind over matter. You’re too tough to let a little tickling bother you.”
Lois was squirming as much as the ropes would allow, but she’d successfully managed to keep from laughing so far. Unfortunately, Lois had no chance against The Tickler. Finally, she gave up trying to maintain her composure and began laughing loudly.
“Ticklish, much? You’re my most ticklish victim so far,” Sarah taunted.
“Why are you doing this?” Lois gasped between laughter.
“I want you to tell me how much Luthor is paying you to clean up his mess,” Sarah replied.
“He’s not HAHA paying me anything. You have to HeeHee believe me!” Lois spit it out as best as she could through her laughter.
“Tell me the truth,” Sarah said as she continued tickling Lois.
“I am Hahaha telling you the truth,” Lois insisted.
Sarah abruptly turned off the feather duster-gun. For a moment, Lois just sat there in silence, trying to regain her composure. She was sweating bullets, tears were rolling down her cheeks, and her face had turned bright red. She was also panting as she tried to catch her breath.
“I don’t know whether to believe you or not,” Sarah finally said. “Either way, though, you’re going to help me to get my revenge on Lex Luthor.”
“Revenge?” asked Lois. “Sarah, you’re already in enough trouble. Don’t do something else you’ll regret.”
“Relax,” Sarah said as she drew her fingernail up the sole of Lois’ foot, causing it to twitch slightly. “You said yourself I’ve never hurt anybody before. I don’t plan on starting now.”
“Then how do you plan on getting revenge on Lex?” asked Lois.
“I plan on stealing millions of dollars from him,” replied Sarah. “Normally that would make me feel bad, but since he’s rich, I don’t feel bad. It also helps that he’s scum.”
“Lex Luthor is one of the most generous philanthropists in this country,” argued Lois. “LexCorp is also a very big company. I’m sure he didn’t directly fire your mother, and I’m sure he’ll right any wrongs he did to your family.”
“Maybe Luthor didn’t directly fire my mother, but it’s still his company,” explained Sarah. “I blame him completely, and he will pay. Believe me; I’ll make him pay.”
“What makes you even think you’ll be able to get close to Lex?” asked Lois.
“Next weekend, he’ll be attending some charity event,” Sarah explained. “I read about it in your newspaper. In addition to Luthor, there’ll be a lot of other prominent figures there. Politicians, movie stars, sports stars.”
“And?” asked Lois.
“And you’re going to help me rob the place,” Sarah answered. “The people who will be there are the type of people who are sure to be wearing expensive jewelry or have something else of value on them. You will steal whatever you can off of as many people as possible. I’ll use whatever you steal to finish paying off my mother’s bills, and I’ll use Luthor’s money for my escape.”
“And if I refuse?” asked Lois.
“You won’t,” said Sarah. “You’ll be wearing a pair of tickling boots. If you pull anything funny, I’ll turn them on.”
“What about Lex?” asked Lois.
“Leave him to me,” replied Sarah. “Oh, and Lois, be sure everything you steal ends up in my mother’s possession. I’ll be watching you even after the heist just to make sure you do what you’re told. Fail to listen, and I’ll turn the tickling boots on.”
Sarah then placed the tickling boots on Lois’ feet. Luckily, they just so happened to be a perfect fit. They looked just like a regular pair of boots, and they were actually quite comfortable as well. Furthermore, they were actually a very stylish pair of black boots. Nobody would even know the difference between the tickling boots and a real pair of boots if you put them side by side. Once both boots were on Lois’ feet, Sarah left the building, leaving Lois still tied up.
Almost immediately, Lois began to attempt wriggle her way out of the ropes, but that wasn’t working. Then, she rolled her chair up closer to her desk, knocked the receiver of her telephone over, and attempted to dial the numbers on the phone using her nose. It was difficult, and she ended up dialing a few wrong numbers the first two times she called, but she finally managed to get a hold of Clark.
*****
Within a half hour, Clark arrived at the Daily Planet. He’d considered using his super speed to get to Lois, but he decided against it since it would make Lois suspicious. Anyways, he figured she wasn’t in any immediate danger, and giving her some time to think about how she’d gotten herself into this mess might be a good thing. As the elevator doors finally opened to reveal Lois’ predicament, Clark couldn’t help but smirk a little bit.
“You don’t have to enjoy this so much,” Lois pouted as Clark began untying the ropes.
“How can I not enjoy this,” replied Clark as he snickered a little bit. “Serves you right for checking up on a lead without your partner.”
“I was told to come alone,” Lois defended herself.
“Since when do you ever do what you’re told?” Clark ribbed her.
“Shut up,” Lois scolded him, though she wasn’t really mad about the teasing. She knew she’d be doing the same thing if the roles were reversed.
*****
The next morning, Lois sat in Perry’s office, trying to pull one of the tickling boots off, but no matter how hard she pulled at the boot, her foot was stuck in it. Despite the fact that she knew from talking to Dr. Banks that the boots would be locked onto the feet of the person wearing them, she still felt the need to try to remove them herself anyways. Since that wasn’t working, Lois opened up her desk drawer and pulled a hammer out of it. She hit the boot a couple of times, but even a hammer wasn’t enough to force the boots off. Finally, just as Clark came running into the room, Lois gave up.
“Dr. Banks says the only way to get those boots off is for you to come in and see him,” said Clark. “I tried to press him for more information, but he’s very hesitant about revealing any secrets about his invention. He even said that while he’d be happy to remove the boots, Lois would have to agree to be blindfolded so that she wouldn’t see what he was doing to remove them.”
“Maybe, she doesn’t want them off,” Perry suggested.
“What?” asked Lois. “I know I said before that I could take the tickling, but I was wrong. I am so sick of being tickled, you wouldn’t believe it! I don’t want to wear these things for one more minute.”
“Let’s think about this,” said Perry. “Lois still wearing the boots would be more helpful in an attempt to capture Sarah. If she sees that you’ve had them removed, she’ll know something’s not right, and she might run. I just finished talking to the police, and they agree.”
“I’m not worried about catching Sarah right now,” said Lois. “I’m worried about myself.”
“Sorry Lois, but I agree with Perry,” added Clark. “Also, what beneficial to the police is beneficial to us.”
“That’s right, Lois,” Perry added. “Just think; Sarah’s arrest during an attempt to nab Luthor would make a really good ending to your series of articles on The Tickler.”
“All you have to do is take a little more tickling,” added Clark.
“No way,” Lois objected. “Let her put tickling boots on one of you two. I’m not getting tickled again, not even for a story.”
“Don’t worry, Lois, I’ve got this really great idea that’s sure to work,” Clark piped in. “Just will yourself not to be ticklish.”
“Ha ha, very funny,” Lois said as she rolled her eyes.
“Let’s get serious here. The fact is that your work on these stories so far has been brilliant. If you give a strong ending to your series on The Tickler, it might even be worthy of a Kerth,” Perry coaxed her.
“Fine, but no more mind-over-matter jokes.” Lois’ eyes darted in Clark’s direction as if to warn him.
“No more jokes,” said Clark. “I promise.”
*****
Finally, the night of the charity event arrived, and Lois, Clark and Jimmy arrived at Shuster Hall, the location where the charity event was being held. Despite the threat of The Tickler, the event still had a large attendance. Popular movie and TV stars were there to auction off props from their films and shows, sports stars were appearing to auction off sports memorabilia, and Lex Luthor had promised to auction off some items from his own personal collection. Furthermore, many popular musical entertainers were set to perform live, and there were going to be opportunities for fans of the stars to get pictures taken with them. Yes, there was no doubt that millions of dollars would be raised at this event.
“I wonder when Sarah will make an appearance,” said Lois.
“We should probably leave you alone for a minute,” suggested Clark. “She’ll never approach you if we’re by your side the whole time.”
“I’ll go take a few pictures inside,” said Jimmy as he and Clark entered the building together.
Lois slowly walked back and forth outside the building a few times, trying to keep an eye out for Sarah, but she didn’t see anything. In fact, she didn’t even see the police. They’d certainly done a good job at concealing themselves from sight. Lois felt a little bad about setting a trap like this for Sarah, but Sarah had left her no choice. Instead of doing the right thing and turning herself in, Sarah had chosen to steal more money.
Finally, Sarah approached Lois. She wasn’t wearing her usual costume, probably in an effort to blend in. Instead, she was wearing an elegant black dress and carrying a tiny purse. She was also wearing a tag that said Sarah Craig, Metropolis Star. It was actually a fairly effective disguise, considering the building was swarming with reporters.
“Lois, I haven’t seen you since the Kerth Awards,” Sarah said, pretending like they were old friends until she got close to her.
At first, Lois didn’t immediately recognize her without her costume and thought that Sarah was in fact an old friend. She struggled to remember the face of the woman in front of her, and then, it hit her.
“Sarah?” she asked.
“That’s right, dear,” she replied. “I notice your still wearing the boots. Good choice. Nobody likes traitors.”
“Of course not,” Lois replied. She looked for the police to come to her aid, but apparently, Sarah’s disguise had worked.
“We’ll meet out here in an hour,” Sarah told her. “That’ll give you plenty of time to steal some nice things, and it’ll give me plenty of time to take care of Mr. Luthor.”
“Fine,” said Lois.
“Oh, and by the way Lois,” Sarah added. “I’m turning the tickling boots on now. I’ll increase the amount of tickling every so often, just to make sure you have incentive to get me a lot of expensive things.”
With that, Sarah left, and the tickling boots were on. At the moment, Lois could barely feel the tickling, but she knew from what Sarah had told her that it would get worse. Lois entered the building and looked for Clark, and when she spotted him, she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer to her.
“Where are the police,” she whispered. “Sarah just talked to me. She’s going after Lex, and she turned on the tickling boots.”
“She did?” asked Clark.
He scanned the room, but he didn’t see Sarah or Lex. That meant she must have already gotten a hold of him.
“It’s already getting worse, Clark, and I have a full hour of this to go!” Lois was hopping from foot to foot in frustration over the tickling.
“I’ll look for the police, Lois,” said Clark. “I’ll be back as soon as I find them.”
He ran for the exit, and once he was out of sight, he spun into his Superman costume. Clark wasn’t exactly sure why he was in such a rush to help out Lex Luthor, but he wouldn’t have felt right about not saving him no matter how much he didn’t like Lex personally. Meanwhile, Lois continued jumping around the room in agony.
“Lois Lane,” a female voice said from behind her. “Oh my gosh, I’ve always loved your work. It’s so great to finally meet you.”
Of all the times to meet a fan, this was the worst possible moment. Lois turned around, still hopping from foot to foot as she moved, and smiled at the woman. It was a pretty young woman with blonde, curly hair and blue eyes. She was holding her hand out to shake Lois’ hand.
“Hehehehe,” Lois giggled as she shook the woman’s hand. She couldn’t manage to speak through the laughter.
The woman had a puzzled look on her face. As she looked down at her watch, she said, “It’s a little early to be so tipsy, isn’t it?”
Lois had a weird grin on her face as she tried her best to hold in the laughter.
“Oh well, when you’re a great reporter, I guess it’s fine to have a little fun every now and then,” the woman added. “My name is Vicki Vale. I’m a photojournalist from Gotham. You may recognize me from my work on Batman.”
Lois hadn’t stopped jumping from foot to foot throughout the entire exchange. Finally, she took a deep breath, held it for a minute, and managed to stand still for a moment.
“Yes, yes, I’ve seen your work,” replied Lois, finally able to get a few words out of her mouth.
“Well, the pictures I’ve gotten of him so far are a little blurry, but you never know, I might get lucky some day,” Vicki continued.
Lois couldn’t hold in the laughter any more. She burst out laughing loudly.
Vicki frowned. “Well, the nerve of some people. You may be Lois Lane, one of the most successful women in the career of journalism, but that doesn’t give you the right to laugh in my face. What, do you think you’re better than me or something?”
“Of course not,” Lois replied, struggling not to laugh again, but it was no good. She laughed even louder this time.
“Unbelievable. You used to be my idol until I found out how stuck up you are,” said Vicki in a furious tone. “I may not be as good of a journalist as you, but I’d never laugh in somebody else’s face.”
With that, she threw her drink in Lois’ face and stormed off. Lois couldn’t be bothered to care, though. She was still too busy laughing from the tickling boots.
*****
Meanwhile, as Lex was sitting tied to a chair, Sarah injected him with the drug violently. As he winced in pain, a smile came across her face.
“So, Mr. Luthor, are you going to cooperate?” she asked devilishly.
“You have no idea who you are dealing with,” he replied angrily, struggling to break free from the ropes. “I’ll rip you from limb to limb when I get out of this!”
“That’s only if you get out of this,” Sarah said as she tickled Lex’s ribs with her fingers. “And you won’t. Trust me.”
“What do you plan on doing to me?” asked Lex.
“I plan on torturing you,” Sarah replied in a cold tone.
She took her feather duster-gun out of her purse, turned it on, and placed it on his feet. Lex maintained a stiff face throughout the first minute.
“Oh, you’re going to be another one of those who try to play like this isn’t bothering you,” said Sarah. “That act won’t work. I helped designed that drug, and it will cause tickling to be torture to anybody.”
A solitary drip of sweat came down Lex’s face. He still managed to maintain his composure for the most part, though. Then, two minutes later, his face was turning purple from holding in the laughter. Sarah was thoroughly enjoying herself. Finally, Lex cracked and began laughing.
“Had enough?” asked Sarah.
Just then, Superman burst through the door, and Sarah stopped tickling Lex abrubtly. This time, she was trapped, and she knew it.
“Superman,” Sarah said in defeat.
Behind Superman, several police officers and Lex’s trusted ally Nigel rushed into the room. One of them grabbed Sarah and handcuffed her. Anohter began untying Lex. As one of them began giving Sarah her Miranda rights, Lex whispered something in Nigel’s ear. While most everyone else in the room didn’t hear his words, Superman was able to make them out.
“I may have some use for The Tickler,” he said.
Chapter 7
As the police escorted Sarah out of the room, Superman started to approach Lex and Nigel to confront them about what he’d just overheard, but just then, a hysterical Lois entered the room. She hopped from foot to foot, still wearing the tickling boots.
“Help, Superman,” she said. She’d said those words many times before, but this time she said them with a hoarse voice.
Superman turned his head slightly. Lois! In all the confusion of saving Lex from the feathers of The Tickler and then overhearing Lex say he had plans for The Tickler,, he’d forgotten all about Lois! He immediately rushed over to her side.
“Don’t worry, I can help you remove those troublesome things,” he said as he pointed at the tickling boots.
He motioned for Lois to take a seat in a nearby chair, and she complied. He then put one of her feet in his lap and broke the boot in two. Afterwards, he did the same thing to the other boot.
“Thank you so much, Superman,” Lois said as she continued to breathe heavily and gasp for air. “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through.”
Lex approached them, pulled out a tissue, and wiped the sweat from Lois’ head. There was a clear look of disgust on Superman’s face as he remembered what he’d overheard Lex say.
“Just why were you The Tickler’s target, Luthor?” asked Superman, even though he already knew the answer.
“Believe me, Superman, I’d love to tell you,” Lex replied. “Unfortunately, I have no clue why I was taken hostage.”
“She and her mother have been having financial troubles,” Lois responded. “Her mother lost her job from some subsidiary owned by LexCorp. Sarah Carter, also known as The Tickler, had some warped idea that Lex was responsible for it. I tried to tell her that Lex probably doesn’t even have any idea who her mother is, and I even offered to talk to Lex about getting Mrs. Carter her job back. Sarah just wouldn’t listen to reason.”
Superman rolled his eyes. He knew better about Lex.
“Very unfortunate,” Lex sighed. “Of course, I will give Mrs. Carter her job back. I’m so upset about how things turned out, I may even give her a promotion.”
“I knew you would!” Lois exclaimed.
Superman couldn’t believe it. Somehow, he should have known Luthor would make a hero out of himself when he was the true villain behind the whole problem. That’s what he always did. What’s worse was that Lois, like so many others would, was just eating Luthor’s words up.
“You haven’t even heard the best part,” Lex added. “I plan on paying Sarah’s bail and getting her the best legal defense in the country.”
Actually, Lex hadn’t thought of that initially, but he’d managed to excite Lois enough with his other promises of good deeds, he figured he’d win a few more points with her by adding a few more good deeds to the list. It worked. Lois gave him a big hug and kissed him on the cheek. Luthor smiled at Superman, as if to mock him about the attention he was getting from Lois.
“I think I hear a fire alarm or something,” Superman grumbled as he flew into the air.
He hadn’t really heard anything, but Lois’ reactions to Luthor were making him so sick at the moment that he felt the need to get away for a few minutes. To think, he’d just rushed in there to save that pompous pig Luthor! He wished he’d let Sarah tickle torture him just a little bit more. If anyone deserved it, it was Lex Luthor, and it wasn’t like it was going to kill him or anything. For once, Superman actually regretted saving someone!
*****
A few minutes later, after flying above the city to clear his head a little bit and calm down from his anger over Lex’s grandstanding, Clark went back to the room where he’d left Lois and Lex. Luckily, Lois was now alone. Clark wasn’t so sure he could stand another conversation with Lex that night.
“Lois, I’ve been looking all over for you,” he lied.
“Clark, you missed it all, as usual,” Lois replied. “Superman saved Lex from Sarah, and then, he saved me from the tickling boots.”
Clark looked down at Lois’ now bare feet as she wriggled her toes. Then, he checked the floor for the tickling boots, but the broken tickling boots weren’t where he’d left them.
“What happened to the tickling boots?” Clark asked, though he suspected that Lex had made off with them.
Lois looked around the floor for a second and then shrugged.
“I guess Superman must have taken them,” she replied. “They’re not here anymore. To be honest, I wasn’t paying attention to them after Superman got them off of my feet.”
Clark knew that he hadn’t taken them, and they couldn’t have just walked off on they’re own. He suspected that Lex might have taken them. He wasn’t sure why he’d do it, but Lex had said he’d had some use for The Tickler. He was about to share his theory with Lois, but he stopped when she began speaking again.
“You won’t believe how generous Lex was! Here’s a woman who tied him up and tortured him, and he still wants to help Sarah and her family. Not only is he going to give Sarah’s mother her job back, with a promotion, but he’s even going to provide Sarah’s bail and pay for her legal bills. Can you believe that guy? What a philanthropist! We need to get back to the Planet and start typing now!”
“He’s a wonderful human being,” Clark said sarcastically, but he was really thinking that it was a shame that their final story on The Tickler was going to turn into an article singing the praises of Lex Luthor.
Clark literally felt like throwing up.
“You can carry me to the taxi,” Lois added, interrupting Clark’s frustrated thoughts about Lex Luthor.
“Huh?” Clark asked, not quite sure where that comment came from.
Lois pointed at her bare feet. “I didn’t think to bring an extra pair of shoes, and you don’t expect me to walk around the streets of Metropolis barefoot while we try to catch a cab, do you? I could step on a piece of glass or something.”
“Of course,” Clark said as he picked her up chivalrously.
Clark wondered to himself if Lois would think as highly of him for carrying her to the taxi as she did of Lex for showing off by helping out Sarah and her mother, but he doubted it. Sometimes, Lois’ high opinion of Lex really got to Clark.
“Don’t worry. I have an extra pair of heels at work,” Lois said as he carried her off.
*****
“How are your experiments going?” Lex asked one of his scientists as he and Nigel entered a laboratory.
“Not well,” the man replied as he held up a tickling boot. “I’ve managed to put the pieces of the boots back together, but I’m not sure how to repair the tickling mechanism inside the boots. Everything I’ve tried so far has failed.”
“That’s not something I want to hear from one of the brightest scientists in the world whose being paid a lot of money to do what I tell him to do,” Lex reminded him.
“Sorry, Mr. Luthor,” the man said timidly.
“I have a few other items I’ve collected that I want you to look at,” added Lex.
He placed a feather duster-gun and the drug that Sarah had used on him on a table.
“Analyze this drug. Tell me if it is possible to make more of it,” Lex ordered.
“Yes, Mr. Luthor,” the scientist replied nervously.
As Lex and Nigel left the room, Nigel asked, “And if he can’t make more of the drug or repair the boots?”
“We’ll have to kidnap Sarah Carter,” Lex replied. “I figure I owe her one anyways after what she did to me. In fact, since I’m not very confident that that buffoon will be able to do what I want him to do, I’m making the decision to kidnap Miss Carter right now. You can hire a few thugs to kidnap her immediately.”
“Of course, sir. But, what if she refuses to repair the boots and to make more of the drug?” Nigel asked.
“I’ll inject her with her own drug and use that annoying feather duster-gun on her myself,” Lex replied. “It’ll actually be a little bit fun. After all, she did tickle torture me. I can’t let her get away with that, now can I?”
“Of course not, sir,” Nigel replied with a smile. “Out of curiosity, though, why is it that you’re so eager to get a hold of the tickling technology?”
Lex smiled. “Superman.”
“Of course, sir,” replied Nigel.
“I’ve long thought that there has to be a chink in his armor,” Lex explained. “Ever since he made his first appearance in Metropolis. The problem is that I’ve never been able to figure it out.”
“And you plan to tickle Superman until he tells you his secret?” asked Nigel.
“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous, Nigel,” Lex scoffed. “The tickling drug could never be injected into Superman’s invulnerable skin. Nevertheless, there are at least a couple of people who likely know more about Superman than they’re telling us.”
“Clark Kent and Lois Lane?” Nigel suggested.
“Precisely,” Lex confirmed. “And while I’d gladly torture Kent in any way imaginable to get information out of him, Lois Lane is another matter. I’m fond of her, and I’d never do any permanent damage to her.”
“But tickling won’t harm her physically,” Nigel said, finally understanding Lex’s plan.
“Yes,” Lex verified Nigel’s suspicions. “I plan to tickle torture Mr. Kent and Miss Lane until they tell me everything they know about Superman.”
*****
Soon afterwards, Sarah was at home alone with her mother preparing dinner. Since she’d been released on bail, things had been quiet between her and her mother, but Mrs. Carter chose to break her silence that night.
“I know you were just doing it for me, and I wanted to tell you that while I think we both know what you did was wrong, I don’t think any less of you because of it. Really, though, don’t ever again do something illegal on account of me.”
Sarah started to cry. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I know that I messed up!”
Her mother put Sarah’s head on her shoulder and patted her on the back. “It’s all right, Sarah. I have my job back, and Mr. Luthor is going to make sure you don’t go to jail.”
Sarah stopped crying and looked up. “You don’t really believe him, do you?”
“Of course I do,” Mrs. Carter replied. “I think he’s ashamed that his company did us wrong, and he’s trying to make up for it.”
Suddenly, they heard a boom at the door. As they both stood up in shock, the door fell to the ground and three men wearing masks rushed into the room. As Sarah screamed loudly, one of them held up a gun.
“You’re coming with us,” he said.
*****
Soon after, Superman rushed into the room. He looked around. Other than the door being knocked over, nothing seemed out of place. Unfortunately, the room was empty, so he used his X-ray vision and saw Mrs. Carter in her bedroom on the phone.
“What happened?” he called out frantically. “I heard a scream.”
A sobbing Mrs. Carter came into the living room.
“I just got off the phone with the police. Sarah’s been kidnapped.”
*****
Within a short amount of time, Sarah was brought to Lex’s lair with blindfold over her eyes, with tape over her mouth, and with her hands tied behind her back.
“Miss Carter, allow me to make you comfortable,” Lex said as he took the tape off of her mouth.
As soon as the tape was removed from her mouth, though, Sarah bit his hand as hard as she could and stomped her foot on his foot. Lex’s henchmen ran to his aid and held her down so that she couldn’t escape, though it took three of them to do so. Sarah was enraged, and the amount of fight in her made that very clear. As she was being tied to a chair by Lex’s henchmen, Lex examined his hand. It was gushing with blood.
“That was a mistake,” he said sternly.
He had a look in his eyes like he wanted to kill Sarah, but he soon regained control over himself. After all, he needed her.
“I knew that nice guy stuff was just an act, Luthor,” Sarah said, somehow sounding unafraid.
Lex looked stunned. She was blindfolded. How could she know who he was?
“You fools,” he said as he turned to the thugs he’d hired to kidnap her. “What did you do to tip her off about my identity?”
“They didn’t do anything,” Sarah replied confidently. “I always knew you were dirty. I figured you were the only one who’d want to harm me.”
“I don’t want to harm you,” Lex replied in a tranquil tone. “I only plan on tickle torturing you, like you did to me.”
Sarah laughed in his face. “You want to use my own gimmick on me? You really think I didn’t find some serum to make myself not ticklish in case my drug fell in the wrong hands?”
She was lying, although she was starting to think a serum like that would be useful at this point. Unfortunately, Lex could smell the fear on her. He grabbed the syringe containing the drug and bent down beside her.
“It’s Sarah’s turn to play the fool,” he whispered in her ear as he poked at her belly. “Let’s see how you take your own medicine.”
To Lex’s satisfaction, she flinched slightly, alerting him to the fact that she was indeed ticklish. He figured the blindfold would help him greatly, so he decided not to remove it. After all, it would allow him to have the element of surprise over Sarah.
“I assume you didn’t just bring me here to tickle me,” said Sarah. “So, what is it that you want?”
“Fix the damaged tickling boots and get me more of the tickling drug, or I’ll be forced to use your own weapon against you,” Lex warned her.
“I may have done a few wrong things, but I’m not a bad person,” Sarah replied. “If you want the tickling drug, you want it for a bad reason. Therefore, I refuse to give it to you.”
Lex violently jammed the syringe into her arm, causing Sarah to scream in pain. He then removed her boots, turned on the feather duster-gun, and began tickling Sarah’s stockinged feet with it.
“Have it your way,” he said with a huge grin on his face.
Chapter 8
About an hour had gone by since Lex had begun tickling Sarah, and he was still going at it. So far, she’d managed to stay strong and not give up, but Sarah knew it was only a matter of time before the torture was too much for her. Currently, Lex was running the feather duster-gun in circles around her navel.
“Come on, Sarah,” Lex coaxed her. “You know that I’m not going to give up, and you know how effective the drug is. Just give in. Nobody would blame you.”
Sarah remained unyielding. Through her laughter, she responded, “No way!”
“She’s tougher than I expected,” Nigel complimented Sarah. “Perhaps she needs some persuasion other than being tickled, sir.”
“Hmmm, you may be right, Nigel,” Lex replied as he stopped tickling Sarah. “If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re very fond of your mother. Perhaps I’ve been torturing the wrong person.”
“My mother can take a little tickling just as well as I can,” Sarah blurted out.
“Oh, with her, I would stop at a little bit of tickling,” Lex responded devilishly. “I’d use a type of torture that might leave more permanent results.”
Finally, Sarah showed a sign of cracking. A look of true terror came across her face, and she began sobbing and shaking her head.
“No; no!” Sarah yelled. “Please don’t! I promise I’ll do anything you want!”
“Splendid,” Lex replied gleefully. “I knew you’d see things my way eventually. First, I’ll need you to produce more of the tickling drug and a new pair of tickling boots. Then, we’ll talk about my plans for Lois Lane and Clark Kent.”
*****
About a week later, Lois and Clark were working late at the Daily Planet. Outside, the building, Sarah, Lex, and Nigel stood in a dark alley.
“You know what to do?” Lex asked.
“I’m to use the gas to make Lane and Kent pass out. Then, I tie them both up and put them in separate rooms. First, I work on Lane. Then, Kent. I’m not to harm Lane at all. If I have to get a little violent with Kent, then so be it,” Sarah repeated the words Lex had drilled into her head about a billion times already.
“And what are the important conversation topics I gave you?” Lex asked.
“What do you know about Superman that you haven’t printed? What are his weaknesses? Does he have a secret identity? Do you have a way to contact him?” Sarah responded.
“Good, good,” Lex replied. He sounded pleased. “Now, as an added precaution, I’ve decided that I’ll have you wear these into the Daily Planet.”
He placed a pair of boots beside Sarah’s feet.
“Tickling boots?” Sarah replied. She frowned at the thought of being the one forced to wear the boots she had personally built for Lex, but she put them on anyways.
“I’ll only turn them on if I decide you’re taking too long in there,” Lex assured her.
*****
Once inside the building, Sarah stared at Lois and Clark as she hid behind a big plant in a pot. She really didn’t want to do this. Lois and Clark seemed like nice enough people. Unfortunately, she had no choice, so she took a deep breath and threw the knockout gas bomb that Lex had given her and put a gas mask over her face.
Lois was put to sleep instantly, but Clark didn’t go down so fast. First, he used his x-ray vision to look through Sarah’s mask. After seeing who it was, he decided that not passing out would raise too many questions, so he fell to the ground and pretended to be knocked out.
First, Sarah tied Lois up at her desk. Then, she dragged Clark toward the conference room. He was a little bit heavy for her, and she bumped him on the head a few times on the way there. Once in there, Sarah tied him to a chair.
When she left the room, Clark immediately opened his eyes and used his x-ray vision and super hearing to observe what she was doing to Lois. He was curious to see where this was going.
Sarah held Lois’ head in her hand and ran smelling salt across her nose, causing her to wake up immediately.
“Sarah?” Lois asked. “What are you doing?”
“Sorry, Lois, but I have to tickle you,” Sarah replied.
“Again!?” Lois shrieked. “You have got to be kidding me!”
Clark ripped the ropes off himself and considered rushing to Lois’ rescue, but he stopped. Somebody kidnapped Sarah, and now, she’s up to her old tricks as The Tickler. Based on what he’d overheard Lex say, he had to be behind it. Clark decided to watch Sarah and see what she was up to before saving Lois. It was the only way to determine what Lex was up to.
As Sarah held the feather duster-gun at Lois’ waist, Lois squirmed beneath the ropes. “I have a confession to make,” Lois said nervously. “I’m really, really ticklish. Can I just give you whatever you want and skip the tickling this time?”
Clark smirked. He had to admit that he saw the humor in the “unticklish” Lois Lane turning into the “really, really ticklish” Lois Lane.
“What are Superman’s weaknesses?” asked Sarah.
“That’s an easy one,” Lois replied. “He doesn’t have one. HELP, SUPERMAN!!!”
Sarah shoved a scarf in Lois mouth to keep her quite and turned on her feather duster-gun.
“That was a bad move, Lane,” Sarah scolded her. “Now, I have to tickle you.”
Lois began laughing through the scarf as Sarah used the feather duster-gun to explore all over her body. Sarah soon realized that Lois was the most ticklish in between her toes, so she let the feather duster-gun rest in that spot.
“Does Superman have a secret identity?” asked Sarah.
Lois spit out the scarf and yelled, “I don’t know!”
“Bad answer,” Sarah replied. “Can you contact him?”
“Heeheehee - He usually c-comes when I – ha-ha - call for him. Ha-ha-ha,” Lois replied through her laughter. “He’ll be here any minute. I know he will!”
Clark debated whether or not he should appear as Superman to save Lois. This seemed like it might be a trap for Superman, using Lois as bait, but he couldn’t just stand still while Lois suffered. Then, before he could do anything, Sarah stopped tickling Lois.
“You seem way to ticklish to be lying,” Sarah replied. “In fact, you’re probably the most ticklish of any of the people I’ve encountered.”
Lois looked indignant. “I wouldn’t say the most. Clark’s pretty ticklish. You just haven’t tickled him yet.”
“I plan on making up for that right now,” Sarah replied. “Anyways, Kent probably knows more than you. Rumor has it he’s tight with Superman.”
Clark hurriedly sat back down in the chair and wrapped the ropes around himself to make it look like he was still tied up as best as he could. Then, just as Sarah entered the room, he put his head down like he was still passed out.
“Time to wake up, Mr. Kent,” Sarah cooed as she put the smelling salt under his nose.
Clark raised his head slowly and faked grogginess. “Sarah?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s me,” she replied. “I’m going to inject you with this needle, and then, I’m going to tickle you.”
Clark hadn’t thought about the needle. If Sarah injected him with it and it bent, she was sure to figure out he was Superman!
“Wait a minute, Sarah! Don’t inject me with that needle!” Clark begged.
“Wow, Lois said you were more ticklish than her, but I never expected this!” Sarah replied excitedly.
She reached out and scribbled her nail across his abs, and he laughed.
“Ooh,” Sarah added. “And you work out, too. This will be fun.”
She began wriggling her fingers up and down his ribs, causing him to laugh some more. As she drew her long nails across Clark’s belly, he realized that bullets may bounce off Superman’s chest, but he was helpless against tickling. Worse yet, he was laughing like crazy, and Sarah hadn’t even used the drug on him!
“Now, tell me, Mr. Kent, what are Superman’s weaknesses?” Sarah asked as she continued tickling him.
“He’s invulnerable to everything,” Clark replied.
“Come on,” Sarah said as she drew her fingernails across Clark’s sides. “There must be something about him you know.”
“I don’t know about any weaknesses!” Clark replied.
Sarah continued poking at Clark’s sides, causing him to jump in his seat with each poke.
“Does he have a secret identity?” she asked.
“I don’t think so,” Clark replied as Sarah danced her fingers around his waist.
“If I don’t get answers soon, we go to the drug, and then, you’re really in for it,” Sarah warned.
She picked up her feather duster-gun, removed one of Clark’s shoes, and began sliding the feathers across his foot.
“I don’t know anything!” Clark replied.
“That’s it, you get the tickling drug,” Sarah said as she picked up the syringe.
Clark closed his eyes in anticipation. This was it. His secret was about to come out. Then, all of a sudden, he heard laughter. It was female laughter, but it wasn’t Lois. That meant it had to be Sarah! He opened his eyes, and sure enough, Sarah was laughing hard as she hopped from foot to foot. He x-rayed her boots and sure enough, Sarah was wearing tickling boots.
“This time, you got lucky,” Sarah said as she ran towards the exit.
*****
“And she tickle tortured the two of you? Great shades of Elvis, this story just keeps getting weirder and weirder,” Perry said in astonishment.
“I held out strong, but Clark would have spilled his guts if he knew anything about Superman,” Lois replied. “I could hear him laughing and begging not to be tickled from all the way in the other room.”
She knew that she had been just as bad, if not worse, than Clark, but it made her feel better about her own ticklishness to throw off on Clark a little bit.
“She was kidnapped by someone, and I believe she’s being forced into working for this person,” Clark added. “When she abruptly left, I noticed she was wearing tickling boots like the ones she forced Lois to wear.”
“Serves her right for putting them on me,” added Lois. “Those things were awful!”
“And what exactly did she want?” asked Perry.
“It seemed like she wanted information on Superman, but we didn’t give it to her,” answered Clark.
“Not that we knew anything she was asking,” added Lois.
“It sounds pretty serious if someone is gunning for Superman,” Perry said with a sigh. “The two of you need to get back to work on figuring out who kidnapped Sarah.”
*****
Lex looked surprisingly happy as he approached Sarah, who was tied up and still wearing the tickling boots, the next morning.
“Why do you look so happy?” Sarah asked him. “You lost. Lane and Kent didn’t know anything about Superman, and if they did, they didn’t talk.”
“That may be so, but I still have some use for your technology,” Lex replied.
“Of course you do,” Sarah groaned. “What do you want me to do now? Any more friends you want me to tickle for you?”
“Just one,” Lex replied as he smiled widely. “Only I wouldn’t call this particular person a friend.”
“Who?” Sarah asked.
“Superman,” Lex replied cheerfully. “I want you to tickle Superman.”
