Losing my childhood home

[cryingfreeman]

Hi all. I know it's been a while. I just got the news last Friday. If you've read my other posts in this section you know that mom and I live together. My mom and I have actually been getting along great these last few years with the occasional disagreement. When I got home on Friday she told me that the house we're staying in has been sold. She told she was thinking about selling a long time ago and I know she went to see a realtor last year. I just didn't think it would be so quick due to what's going on right now in the world. We have about 2 weeks to move out. Luckily we both had bought condos and rented them out for extra income (my mom's idea) and both tenants had moved out a couple of years ago. We were looking for new tenants but will now be living in our respective apartments.

This house has been in the family for about 45 years. I've lived here for most of that. It's basically the only real home I've ever known. I moved out for college and moved back in a few years later after my brother went to jail to help take care of my mom and the house. I stayed when he got out. He went back in a couple of years ago. In between that time I visited often. All my nieces and nephews have either lived or visited here often. My grandmother passed away peacefully in this house. The problem I have is that every time I enter a room to clean or pack I get flooded with memories. I get overwhelmed by all these emotions. I get this way even when I look at old pictures taken in the house. I don't cry but it feels like a punch in the gut and my heart races. I get choked up. I always thought it would be in the family. We've had so many Christmases, Thanksgivings, and birthdays here. Graduation parties, baptism receptions and backyard barbecues. I can still see my siblings, cousins and myself running around as little kids, my nephews and nieces running around as little kids.

I know it's a part of life and I have to move on but I just don't know how to let go. I love this house so much. I don't want to lose it but I know I have to. Any advice on how to deal with my emotions? Thanks.

 

[Mitchell]

freeman I'm very sorry about what you are going through having to move out of your childhood home.

That can be very traumatic.

I lived in a house that my parents bought when I was 7 years old.

We had to leave that house when my parents split up when I was 19.

I felt terrible about it.

The last weekend we spent at this house, I was with my late mother.

My mom said on the last day I left the house, she remembered my driving my car to the bottom of the driveway, getting out of the car, looking back, getting back in the car and driving away.

My mom and me moved into an apartment after that.

Something such as what is happening to you will take time.

My best advice, try to remember the good times you and your family had in that house.

It will be an adjustment for you to get used to your new surroundings.

Eventually, you will be able to adjust.

I know that living in the same house for 12 years is not the same as 45.

Yet, having spent my childhood from basically the time I was a small boy, until my second year of college, did mean that I spent two thirds of my life in that house at that point at the time we had to leave there. .

I hope what I said is of help to you.

Good Luck, and take care

 

[cryingfreeman]

Thanks Mitchell. It was in the family for 45 years but I was born a couple of years after my parents first moved in. It's been my home for 41 years. But I am sure you felt the very same way I do. I just hope I can get through this as well as you did. I'm trying to think of the positives that come with finally moving away from my mom and into my own place after so many years. No more raking leaves, mowing the front lawn and backyard. No more trimming hedges. No more shoveling snow. More freedom on weekends instead of my usual weekend chores. All my friends are congratulating me and making jokes that we can now party harder without fear of bothering my mom. It helps when I tell others.

I told my coworkers since my house is next to another branch of our business and they would ask me to stop by on my way to the actual branch I work at to pick up paperwork, supplies and other things we needed that couldn't wait. They could tell that something was off because I wasn't my usual happy-go-lucky self and was acting more like I was on autopilot. They also assured me that in time I will get used to my apartment and the pain will heal. Sounds kind of what you would say when you suffer a break up or losing a loved one. Which is actually kind of appropriate since to me it feels like I'm losing a family member.

I dread the day when I walk out the door and pull out of the drive way for the last time. I don't think I will be able to contain myself. Now I know how all the characters felt at the Friends series finale, which a coworker brought up earlier. It made me laugh but also sad to think about. Again, thank you for the comforting words. They helped a lot. I'll update when I can.

 

[happydarwin]

If it helps, just remember that you're selling the physical structure and the land. You get to keep all those memories and share them with your family and friends. I'm not saying don't be sad or don't mourn this loss. Just that what you've described here, the memories and feelings, you're taking those with you.

 

[BlasterMaster]

What your experiencing is perfectly natural. It's grief for losing a home you loved and cherished. It might help to talk with someone about it though. Friends, family, even a professional (aka a psychologist).

Also I hope your brother is okay. Prison is a terrible place to endure and people who go into it often end up coming out even worse for wear (it also doesn't help matters that pretty much NO COMPANY will hire an ex-felon).

 

[vro]

I know how that goes. Sucks. Sorry.