Losing people who where part of your childhood

[Frost King]

I really feel like i have lost apart of myself like my childhood part because most of the family members that where special in my childhod are gone my grandfather who was very special to me for one my father wasn't in my life he left when i was a baby so i never had much of a father but my grandfather kinda became my father him and my grandma took me everywhere. we did alot together then in 2000 he had a heart attack and had to go to the hospital and it happend at the worst time a few days before i had to start my first day of highschool so that was hard. he had to get a operation and he had a stroke while in it and after that he wasn't the same he couldn't talk my family didn't let me go in see though at the hospital but he did die soon after. so that was the worst year i ever had and i still had to go to school feeling like that and then i had other people where like my grandparents too and they i used to go everywhere with them too i was always over there house then i would go to my other grandparents house because they live so close to one another. to i was real close with them too and not too long ago they passed away too so i really miss those times i feel like that part of me my childhood is dead also i really wish they where still here alot.

 

[mikepd]

Damn, thats sad to hear. Hope ya feel better soon. Dont stop rockin!

 

[Horus]

I know how you feel....First Cousin died in April 90, Mom died in April 91, Grandmother died in May 92, Aunt (Mom's older sister in June 93. Family hasn't been the same since.

I used to belong to a drum corps in the early to mid 70's. We have lost close to 20% of our lists. These were people I grew up with, also ate with, spent long hours on buses traveling across the country. You begin to wonder who will be next.

 

[Dave2112]

The memories of the people we've lost are the heaviest things that can weigh on the mind, my friend.

The thing we need to remember is that we are here to feel those things. It's our nature to be sad about the people no longer in our lives, but feeling that loss is human, and desirable. It shows that we value the right things.

Think of your emotions right now as a tribute to them, a way of reminding them that you haven't forgotten. The people we've lost would want us to continue and to be happy.

I can completely empathize with you. My grandparents were de facto parents, showing me more love and patience than I will ever be able to show myself. I lost the both of them, and my own son within two years of one another. In that same period, I had a personal nightmare of my own. You don't ever really come back from shit like that, it changes you.

But, over the years, you don't forget but you learn to deal. You find yourself doing things and hoping the people you remember would approve.

True story, and maybe it'll help you in some way...just last week I was having a laid-back conversation with a bro at work. Don't remember how this part came up, but I wound up talking about the fact that I'd be the father of a thirteen-year-old teenage boy this year. Gettin' him into sports or whatever else he wanted to do, teaching him music and such. And, starting to have to deal with the "girls" thing with him.

My friend and I bantered a bit back and forth on the topic, and he jokingly said something to the effect of "You'd get to teach him all your tricks for chasin' chicks!" Now, this friend of mine knows all about my kink life (he's a proud member himself) and he's aware of my preference for younger women.

I replied, "Yeah, and if I lucked out and he was into older women, we could chase the same chicks..."

The fact that I could crack a dumb joke about it didn't feel weird or blasphemous as it would have 12 years ago. While these events really screwed me up, I've learned some things from an occasionally darker path. I've done ok, and while it'll never go away, and shouldn't, it gets easier to put into perspective. I had an image in my head that somewhere, my kid was giving me a wink and a thumbs-up, knowing he'd have inherited my bizarre sense of humor.

So, you can still have those moments. 🙂 It's natural, it's human and it gets easier to handle. Drop me a line if you wanna shoot the shit.

 

[kopfhorer1]

Beautiful piece you've written, Dave. Losing a kid...well, I had a cousin die from cancer. He was barely out of single digits, just a bit younger than I was at the time. That was a supreme mindfuck.

 

[melanie2]

i'm sorry Arson for your losses..unfortunately death is a part of life...my parents were definitely a major part of my childhood..and they are both gone now...as are two cousins, one who died rather young back in the early 90's...and one much more recently of cancer..

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

it seems to the hollywood brother that as we get older we lose more and more people from our past. this is just a fact of life even if it is a very painful one. the hollywood brother thinks the thing to remember is that life is fleeting and must be lived and tickled through to whatever you like. The hollywood brother is like everyone else in that the hollywood brother has been to too many funerals in his hollywood brother life but the hollywood brother and everyone else just got to keep on tickling and rock and rolling for the rest of our days

 

[QueenBeeBeeMari]

I'm sorry that happened but you will always have the memories.