Making real friends like everybody else

[christhetickler]

Hey can I ask you guys something?

(as if I'm not going to ask anyway)

You all make it look so easy to make friends on here, I can't keep a friend at all. Some people even get to have sessions. How do I make friends on here? hell....there doesn't even need to be tickling involved. Fetlife doesn't really do it for me. There are to many other fetishes. I would rather get friends here because at least you guys understand me. Can anyone give me advice or maybe be my friend?

 

[chicago]

Try interacting in general discussion / tickling discussion. It gives some of the regulars something to go on to break the ice or vice versa.

The more you interact in threads, the better people can get to know you and segue something you may have said in a post to a private message / interaction.

The chat is hit or miss, but could be worth a try

And lastly, getting out and going to gatherings/munches, local or otherwise is the easiest way, but can be difficult if youre nervous or not near events.

 

[christhetickler]

And lastly, getting out and going to gatherings/munches, local or otherwise is the easiest way, but can be difficult if youre nervous or not near events.

there isn't anything local or even close by chattanooga with tickling

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

Why does it gotta be bout tickling? Why can't you like get together with someone over a cup of coffee,
or maybe a burger or something? It ain't hard to make friends here. Made lots of friends just being myself,
and not letting the fetish be a big part of the relationship, just everyday life. I mean in any forum or place
I go I make a friend some how some way. Not too hard to

 

[lancashirelad1]

good advice Dragon and totally agree. I've been lucky enough to have a few sessions with people off here but thats only because I actually want to make friends first. I spend 90% of the time not talking about tickling

 

[Bohemianne]

By the time I'm posting this, some 569 people, 185 of which are members, have chances of finding you. Goodluck!

 

[Nedstacey2]

My two cents: be patient. As others have said, the longer you hang around here and participate, the greater the chance you will end up with friends, some of whom might even carry over into real life. Me, I've been lurking here since 2002, never really super active and as a result my own friends list is hardly extensive, but sometimes personal messages and legitimate friend requests will come when you barely expect them.

Fetlife doesn't really do it for me. There are to many other fetishes.

True, but I wouldn't discount FetLife altogether. I've found that due to the diversity of interests the people there seem to be generally quite tolerant and even curious about and willing to explore some of the more "unusual" fetishes like ours.

And lastly, getting out and going to gatherings/munches, local or otherwise is the easiest way, but can be difficult if youre nervous or not near events.

there isn't anything local or even close by chattanooga with tickling

This is also where FetLife can help. I too live in a quite isolated area, but even here there are kinksters who are also on FetLife, and through that site I've made local non-TK friends and met some in RL by going to a few basic munches and meetups. As Chicago alludes to, that was excruciatingly difficult for me; I'm naturally extremely shy and anti-social, yet somehow I found the courage to attend and am glad I did.

You may still have to travel a bit. Last year after my wife had passed away and I was hardly thinking rationally, I audaciously decided to hit the road and go to NEST, the big kahuna of gatherings, and was almost completely paralyzed with anxiety and trepidation nearly the whole time, but even out of that I came away with a few new enriching acquaintances.

Lastly, I would have faith. I truly think there are actually way more of us out there than we realize, it's just that everyday life and societal pressures force us--or we think they force us--to keep who we are under wraps. Thank the Lord for the Internet as a means of bringing us together, but even this is still an imperfect system, not used or not used well by so many of us. Yet you just have to keep believing that it will gradually draw our legion out of the woodwork (sorry if the metaphor offends).

 

[C.A.B.]

Acquaintances don't take much work. Friendships do. Check yourself for how much you are willing to invest... your answer may lie there.

 

[ManWithNoHat]

In a community this large I would imagine it would take some time to form a lot of friendships, but being friendly and interested in others can never hurt.
First impressions are very important, as well.
I also agree with Dragon, even though this is a tickling themed site, ya can't talk about tickling 100% of the time, at least I don't think. Have it be a part of you, but don't have it be your whole personality.

 

[chicago]

there doesn't even need to be tickling involved.

Did everyone miss the part where he said this? So, I'm not sure why people are like "Why it gotta be about tickling?" when dude clearly said...yeah...

There's a bit of a negative vibe to some of the responses here that makes me pretty sad. Dude wants to get involved, get to know people and make friends but he's having a hard time doing it. He wants some advice and encouragement, but people are like "Welp! It's easy for me to make friends!"

I can't see how that type of thing is motivating for someone that may be a little nervous about how to approach others here.

Yes, the community is large, but the number of people who are actually active on the boards is very, very small in comparison. It can be difficult, but the more you participate, the easier it will be.

 

[ManWithNoHat]

I admit.. I totally missed the part where he said that. Sorry about that 🙁

Reading back the thread, I also can see that kind of vibe. Personally, it's horribly hard for me to make friends, so I can't really give the best advice. But I still think what I said is true, at least to me.

 

[chicago]

I admit.. I totally missed the part where he said that. Sorry about that 🙁

Reading back the thread, I also can see that kind of vibe. Personally, it's horribly hard for me to make friends, so I can't really give the best advice. But I still think what I said is true, at least to me.

I hear ya and I agree! No hard feelings, man!

 

[TKLVR18]

I agree with Chicago that the chatroom can be hit and miss, but when it's hit it's a good hit. It's good to get some real-time convos going, helps you feel a little less awkward and maybe less nervous about being somewhere everyone can see you. Try the chatroom, and I'd even suggest downloading a messenger if you don't already have one and getting friends from here onto your messenger list so you can talk to them when you don't feel like logging in.

Also going to echo the 'be patient' sentiment. Friendships, as people have said, take time and effort. That being said, I've found this to be a surprisingly friendly bunch. Just reach out ^_^

~K

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

^ didn't i say something like that already?

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Making friends can be somewhat complex in any scenario. Forget about forums for a moment, and consider that making friends with someone involves some kind of connection. A mutual interest, or something in common like living on the same street, attending the same class, etc. Even then, most people will simply be acquaintances unless some effort is made by both parties to explore the friendship. Talking/visiting frequently, doing stuff together. Keeping friends requires considerable investment of time and interest. Otherwise, the tendency is to simply drift apart.

When the community is spread out across the country, and even the globe, it's even more of a challenge to make and keep friends. My advice is to just be friendly and don't hold expectations.

 

[CTS Film Crew]

Chris,

Human beings desire certain things in a relationship. The first thing is, they need to see a face. What do you look like? Consider this: the eyes of a look at lots of things, but are attracted to complex structures. It just so happens that human faces have complex structures that are attractive to the infant's eye. You want to know what your teacher looks like, right?

Secondly, how do you interact with people? Perhaps you come on too strong? Or you are too weak in your approach? I'd be interested in coaching you in some ways on how to interact.

Also, is this both offline and online, or just online?

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

You don't always need a face to make friends. It don't always work that way. You can make friends
and never see the person. I've have many friends just on this site and some of them I've never even
seen. Some i've seen only through pictures and such but you won't always get a face behind that person.
Trust is the key to all relationships. Once you build trust on that person you
have become friends with, your friendship will expand and never know, might get a face later on.

 

[CTS Film Crew]

And pictures help that along.

 

[thetickler:)]

I think sometimes it depends on the person you're speaking too, not everyone is very easy to talk to and so many people who are on this forum live on the opposite side of the globe but it shouldn't stop you, just be yourself and chat about general interests.
But both people have to put the effort in, friendship is never a 1 way street.

 

[Bohemianne]

BTW, 13-year-olds are at large too!

 

[christhetickler]

Did everyone miss the part where he said this? So, I'm not sure why people are like "Why it gotta be about tickling?" when dude clearly said...yeah...

There's a bit of a negative vibe to some of the responses here that makes me pretty sad. Dude wants to get involved, get to know people and make friends but he's having a hard time doing it. He wants some advice and encouragement, but people are like "Welp! It's easy for me to make friends!"

I can't see how that type of thing is motivating for someone that may be a little nervous about how to approach others here.

Yes, the community is large, but the number of people who are actually active on the boards is very, very small in comparison. It can be difficult, but the more you participate, the easier it will be.

this is exactly what I was thinking while reading the comments....I'm actually very shy and I get nervous around people...I get really nervous to the point where i dont say the right things and i just don't like screwing up. I'm that guy in the classroom that sat in the back and kept his head down and avoided eye contact with people. I'm trying my best to come out of my shell but it's very hard....I only feel free when I'm on stage singing

 

[christhetickler]

I'm not comfortable with posting my face. i have a very very.....very low self esteem and I fear judgement. I've had people ignore me after I sent them a picture of me...so I just dont post

 

[christhetickler]

I'm honestly very surprised that people are replying...all my threads in the past have been either ignored or one random person so happened to find my post replies...

 

[teamtickleguy]

Hi Chris,

I hope since you're original post that the responses have given you some food for thought and reassured you a bit!

It's easy to get bamboozled on here by the sheer number of members and the various people that pop sporadically in and out of the chatroom, but the more you follow the discussions in the main forums and take part when you feel you have something to say, the more you'll start to spot patterns of regular posters and get a feel for who you'd perhaps like to chat to away from the discussion boards.
By participating in the discussions it instantly provides a starting point for conversation and if you can strike up a chat with someone via PM, the chatroom or Yahoo etc, then it's really just a case of exchanging questions and getting to know a person -

As you said, take tickling out of the equation for a moment (we all know we all have that in common!) and go back to basics - if someone only wants to start a cyber tickle, or just gives one word answers, don't take it personally, it probably just means they are not in the dialogue for the same reasons you are .

At first it's sometimes hard just to remember who you've spoken to sometimes - not all usernames are memorable and others are very similar, so make notes if it helps - hopefully friendships will emerge with effort.

Always read peoples profiles - if someone's posted something you find interesting/funny, check out their profile - even if you don't find common ground, take a chance on approaching some people by PMs and introduce yourself.

I'm sure there are plenty of musicians/performers on the forum (myself included) so there's common ground to seek out there.
There's probably people local to you as well.

Not everyone posts - many just lurk on a regular basis so you never get a chance to find much out about them, but you can browse member profiles through the member list, through the 'users online' list and birthday list etc etc

It sounds almost stalkerish to do that, but it's actually just a case of putting in the effort if you want to make friendships, taking the initiative, making the first move etc.

I've been on here for over 10 years and have made 3 or 4 good friends, none of which are regular posters and one of which didn't even have a tickle fetish and this person turned out to be one of the most wonderful friendships I've made, online or offline.

As many have said - patience is very important too.

Also, if you're concerned about saying the wrong thing and being shy etc - you can always make people aware of this at the beginning of the conversation - just explain that you're shy, have a tendency to put your foot in it etc or however you want to describe it. Turn what you might think of as being a negative thing about your personality into a positive.

Hope this helps, Feel free to say hello anytime.

Cheers
TTG

 

[mabus]

What do you have opinions on?

Share them in those threads, or start your own.

Did you see Avengers yet?

What'd you think of it? (there's already a thread started about it, chime in.)
Who was your favorite character?
Did James Spader do Ultron justice?
Wasn't Ulysses Klaw a badass, or do you disagree?

Do you like sports? There's a whole area just for that.

Like jokes? A whole area for that also.

What outfit would you love for your tickler to wear? Black see through nighty with suntan pantyhose?
Don't be shy, it's the internet, let people know in the tickling forum area in that thread just posted.

Why? You may just turn other folks on, or you may give ideas to couples here to try something new.

Do you like pantyhose tickling? (Of course you do!) Bare foot tickling, socked tickling?
Let people know, tell them why...

You come here with a unique set of experiences and knowledge, as do we all.

Now I got you started.....GO! 🙂