Man Tries to Sell His Family on eBay

[ShiningIce]

LOS ANGELES - Writer Steve Young may be able to peddle his prose, but when it came to selling his family, the father of two couldn't cash in on the $5 million offer.



After reading about the online sale of a struggling town in Humboldt County, Young decided to put his wife and kids on the auction block.


"If a town could be sold online, then how much could you get for a family?" Young said.


After consulting with wife Diana, and their two children, Kelly, 9, and Casey, 8, Young said he posted the ad Thursday on eBay and received more than 10,000 hits within minutes.


But when eBay operators heard about the auction early Friday, they yanked the ad, saying it is against company policy to sell human beings.


"People have tried to sell themselves five or six times over the past four or five years," said eBay spokesman Kevin Pursglove. "There have been attempts to sell their nephew, uncle, wife, whoever is in the doghouse at the time. They've even tried to sell their soul."


Young said the auction winner would receive a lifetime of platonic companionship, including invitations to family outings and holiday gatherings as well as tips on writing, gardening and cooking. The minimum bid was $5 million.


The family was willing to relocate anywhere, and the elder Youngs would change their surname.


"You have patrons of the arts, museums and charities. I wanted a patron for my family," he said.

 

[slacker2114]

$5 MILLION???? My top bidder was $1.5!!! 😡

 

[Texas_Tickle]

LOS ANGELES - Writer Steve Young may be able to peddle his prose, but when it came to selling his family, the father of two couldn't cash in on the $5 million offer.



After reading about the online sale of a struggling town in Humboldt County, Young decided to put his wife and kids on the auction block.


"If a town could be sold online, then how much could you get for a family?" Young said.


After consulting with wife Diana, and their two children, Kelly, 9, and Casey, 8, Young said he posted the ad Thursday on eBay and received more than 10,000 hits within minutes.


But when eBay operators heard about the auction early Friday, they yanked the ad, saying it is against company policy to sell human beings.


"People have tried to sell themselves five or six times over the past four or five years," said eBay spokesman Kevin Pursglove. "There have been attempts to sell their nephew, uncle, wife, whoever is in the doghouse at the time. They've even tried to sell their soul."


Young said the auction winner would receive a lifetime of platonic companionship, including invitations to family outings and holiday gatherings as well as tips on writing, gardening and cooking. The minimum bid was $5 million.


The family was willing to relocate anywhere, and the elder Youngs would change their surname.


"You have patrons of the arts, museums and charities. I wanted a patron for my family," he said.

1st you get people wanting to sell a kidney, now you have a man wanting to see his entire family.

This Ebay ad, is a fine example of what happens when somebody has way too much time on their hands, and cannot think of anything productive to do.

 

[amk714]

Selling your own family? Now that's a new low.

 

[MegaDanX15]

If I'm not mistaken that was from The Onion right? (www.theonion.com)
They do parodies of news stories similar to that all the time. My favorites are "Bill Nye 'Science Guy' Dies in Huge Baking Soda-Vinegar Experiment," and "Area Man Has Naked Lady Fetish."

If this is legit then, err, I could only pull about 2 mill.


Dan

 

[MegaDanX15]

add this one to the list

God Answers Prayers of Paralyzed Little Boy, "No," Says God

SAN FRANCISCO—For as long as he can remember, 7-year-old Timmy Yu has had one precious dream: From the bottom of his heart, he has hoped against hope that God would someday hear his prayer to walk again. Though many thought Timmy's heavenly plea would never be answered, his dream finally came true Monday, when the Lord personally responded to the wheelchair-bound boy's prayer with a resounding no.

"I knew that if I just prayed hard enough, God would hear me," said a joyful Timmy, sitting in the wheelchair to which he will be confined for the rest of his life. "And now my prayer has been answered. I haven't been this happy since before the accident, when I could walk and play with the other children like a normal boy."

God's response came at approximately 10 a.m., following a particularly fervent Sunday-night prayer session by little Timmy. Witnesses said God issued His miraculous answer in the form of a towering column of clouds, from which poured forth great beams of Divine light and the music of the Heavenly Host. The miraculous event took place in the Children's Special Care Ward of St. Luke's Hospital, which Timmy visits three times a week for an excruciating two-hour procedure to drain excess fluid from his damaged spinal column.

Said Angela Schlosser, a day nurse who witnessed the Divine Manifestation: "An incredible, booming voice said to Timmy, 'I am the Lord thy God, who created the rivers and the mountains, the heavens and the earth, the sun and the moon and the stars. Before Me sits My beloved child, whose faith is that of the mustard seed from which grows mighty and powerful things. My child, Timmy Yu, I say unto you thus: I have heard your prayers, and now I shall answer them. No, you cannot get out of your wheelchair. Not ever."



😛