Management tips

[arion30]

Tips for Managers
Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

If it's really a "rush job", run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.

Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I like being a psychic.

Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager

 

[milagros317]

LMAO
Great lines. 😀

 

[nenezinho]

LOOOL

So many times managers do the same mistakes! I´ve been the victim of them and still am as i´m not CEO lool But as today i also manage someone else i try not to make the same mistakes.

So i thought on answering your points on a different view, just to see if i´m doing fine 🙂

1 - Our day always starts with a review of our current tasks and i will set priorities for the day. If something special shows up late on the evening than i´ll be the one taking the extra time to deliver

2 - Usually i only check work status once a day, after that the team is rolling and i expect things to be done. I will only remark if it´s late evening and something´s still missing.

3 - hummm this one i still fail miserably! 😀 I have the habit of running around the building and most often i wont tell anyone where i am. Even meeting schedules i fail to keep everyone fully updated. It´s true that i also like to solve meetings in a brief coffee brake or in a fun phone call, sometimes canceling or postponing some of them. So it´s not easy to keep track on me 😉 On the good side, i usually have 2 or 3 good excuses set up at morning and after lunch just in case i´m unavailable.

4 - We negotiated our goals by February together with our paycheck for this year. There are variable amounts of money depending on achieving some of the goals. Last year i went so far as to tell my new trainee that one of my goals was that she would be well adapted to work and company in 6 months (which i got full payment by the way hehehe)

5 - as stated on 1st question. We will do a priority check each morning. If priorities change i´ll tell and if it´s too rushed i´ll take charge.

6 - I often complain on that problem in other departments rather than our own 🙂 I always say in my department "we have a life outside our jobs! we are not here to drink coffee or smoke cigars, we want to do our job and go home or wherever we want to! We enjoy our work but we enjoy lots of other stuff also!"

7 - If it´s a good work i´ll tell. if it´s a bad work i´ll tell it also. But if it´s my team i usually expect it to be a good work 🙂

8 - Usually failure will be taken as a team failure, not an individual. And usually i say it´s my fault. If someone under you fails than either it´s totally the wrong person or you missed/screwed something.

9 - Again i fail miserably 🙂 i hate writing instructions! Most of our processes are on my head and only my last trainee was able to write everything down on paper. Still i like doing and showing how it´s done and let them write down their own notes/instructions. I do admit 4 years ago i was different...and i believe i´ll also be different when i get older or i get kids or something to get me crazy 😀 today 95% of my instructions are verbal (not to say more!)

10 - i will always introduce everyone! what´s the point of not doing it? doesn´t make sense and doesn´t show you as a polite person. Even if it´s the janitor, they are part of the team and we want them to do their job as we do ours. One of the 1st things i did the 3 times i got a new trainee was to make a scheme of all the 3 floors on our building, saying who works where, how they are and what they do, sometimes giving my personal notes on internal fights or other "gossips"

11 - I do tell my little problems sometimes 😉 Usually what i look is for team spirit. I want my team to do the same with me so i´ll brake the ice if necessary. I do complain of my paycheck in front of my team, if it´s unfair than it´s unfair period! i also complain on theirs if i feel it´s also unfair. Actually yesterday we discussed together our taxes and the likes of it 🙂

Other rules i have:

- Trainees will always supply all the snacks at the office! I did the same when i was a trainee so it´s their job 🙂 and better be good snacks, i love cookies!

- If they think they are getting funny they´ll have a close encounter with an I.F.O. (identified flying object).