Martial Arts for the 21st Century!

[Azrael]

Alright, I saw this somewhere; I think it might've been the Weekly World News.

The vegetarian's martial art; it works by absorbing and mimicking any combat styles used against them in the first place. Developed in response to the increasingly militant nature of dedicated meat-eaters everywhere following the resentment caused by actual market effects of the documentary "Super Size Me." Currently known as To-Fu.

Any other ideas?

 

[kered]

I still use the old tried and true technique of laying on the ground in the fetal position while crying while bleeding.