Oddjob0226
4th Level Indigo Feather
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2001
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The Marx Brothers in - "Duck Soup 2, or - Ayatollah So!"
The Scene: The office of the Supreme Allied Commander, Groucho Marx.
Zeppo enters with news.
Zeppo: Commander, here's the latest report - our troops just neutralized the insurgent behind the most recent mortar attack.
Groucho: Excellent work, nurse, er, soldier. So who fired that mortar shell?
Zeppo: A mullah.
Groucho: A mullah?
Zeppo: A martyred mullah. A martyred mullah from Ramallah.
Groucho: Ramallah! Was it a mounted mortar?
Zeppo: Mounted on a mule.
Groucho: A rambunctious Ramallah mujahadeen mullah fired a mule-mounted mortar to become martyred.
Zeppo: Most likely.
Groucho: Man! I don't know what to say - I'm in shock and awe!
Zeppo: The martyred mullah was trying to trigger a chain reaction of a weapons cache.
Groucho: (aside) This looks like this is going to get worse before it gets any better, folks - Dare I even ask... how so?
Zeppo: The martyred mujahadeen mullah from Ramallah launched the mule-mounted mortar with malice towards the palace, at the attic with the anthrax.
Groucho: An attic attack involving anthrax?
Zeppo: Affirmative.
Groucho: Malice towards the palace with the attic with the anthrax! How 'bout the tower by the tunnel with the botox in a box?
Zeppo: Holding tight sir, says Tom Ridge from the bridge.
Groucho: Tighter than the writing in this script, I hope. Unbelievable. Allah that mayhem over one measly mullah martyr!
Zeppo: There's no direct evidence of that, sir.
Groucho: No direct evidence of what?
Zeppo: Measles. Only anthrax, alone, in the attic, apparently.
Groucho: Apparently?
Zeppo: Apparently.
Groucho: Any evidence of smallpox?
Zeppo: No sir. Our intelligence suggests that is smallpox was small enough to be smallpox, it would be too small to be used as a biological weapon. But if the smallpox was big enough to be weaponized, it would then cease to be smallpox.
Groucho: Well, just as a precaution we'll have to begin developing a bigpox vaccine. Oh, how I long for the simpler days of hanging chads!
Zeppo: Yassar!
Zeppo salutes, blows a kazoo, then exits. And the scene fades.....
The Scene: The office of the Supreme Allied Commander, Groucho Marx.
Zeppo enters with news.
Zeppo: Commander, here's the latest report - our troops just neutralized the insurgent behind the most recent mortar attack.
Groucho: Excellent work, nurse, er, soldier. So who fired that mortar shell?
Zeppo: A mullah.
Groucho: A mullah?
Zeppo: A martyred mullah. A martyred mullah from Ramallah.
Groucho: Ramallah! Was it a mounted mortar?
Zeppo: Mounted on a mule.
Groucho: A rambunctious Ramallah mujahadeen mullah fired a mule-mounted mortar to become martyred.
Zeppo: Most likely.
Groucho: Man! I don't know what to say - I'm in shock and awe!
Zeppo: The martyred mullah was trying to trigger a chain reaction of a weapons cache.
Groucho: (aside) This looks like this is going to get worse before it gets any better, folks - Dare I even ask... how so?
Zeppo: The martyred mujahadeen mullah from Ramallah launched the mule-mounted mortar with malice towards the palace, at the attic with the anthrax.
Groucho: An attic attack involving anthrax?
Zeppo: Affirmative.
Groucho: Malice towards the palace with the attic with the anthrax! How 'bout the tower by the tunnel with the botox in a box?
Zeppo: Holding tight sir, says Tom Ridge from the bridge.
Groucho: Tighter than the writing in this script, I hope. Unbelievable. Allah that mayhem over one measly mullah martyr!
Zeppo: There's no direct evidence of that, sir.
Groucho: No direct evidence of what?
Zeppo: Measles. Only anthrax, alone, in the attic, apparently.
Groucho: Apparently?
Zeppo: Apparently.
Groucho: Any evidence of smallpox?
Zeppo: No sir. Our intelligence suggests that is smallpox was small enough to be smallpox, it would be too small to be used as a biological weapon. But if the smallpox was big enough to be weaponized, it would then cease to be smallpox.
Groucho: Well, just as a precaution we'll have to begin developing a bigpox vaccine. Oh, how I long for the simpler days of hanging chads!
Zeppo: Yassar!
Zeppo salutes, blows a kazoo, then exits. And the scene fades.....
