member pic accessibility

[Ayla ny]

I have been wanting to post a member pic for a while now. I loved seeing the pictures of everyone before I ever got to meet anyone. but am worried about who will see it. in fact, I had one posted when the forum first opened but asked for it to be pulled when I started getting very nervous about it.

what makes me so nervous, is not any of the TMF members seeing my picture, (have been to a couple of gatherings and stuff... so that’s not an issue) but the very real possibility that someone my ex-husband tells/has told (I showed him this site to him when I was still trying to make it work) might see it.

I also allow my boys to use my computer. theirs don’t have internet access. I run window washer every time I use the computer... but it still concerns me.

anyhow, the point of this post is to ask... would anyone else feel more comfortable posting their picture if the member picture section were accessible to members only... or do you feel that it would stop the unregistered users from being able to see that we are all just regular folks like them?

 

[talons]

The thought is nice but if someone really wants to see it becoming a member is very easy. I don't think that would deter many people from seeing it. I think the only answer for you is not to post a picture it seems you have far to many issues to be OK with it.

 

[BellaRisa]

Hi Ayla!

I agree with Talons. To post pics, be in videos, etc. you need to be able to handle any annoying vanilla weirdness that might happen, and tell whoever decides to cause you grief to go to hell. They can't embarrass you if you refuse to be embarrassed. And even if it were for members only, what's to prevent your ex (or someone he told) from just becoming a member? It takes what, 2 minutes?

No one can find you here unless they were looking pretty hard, and then one wonders just what *they* were doing here 😎. As for your sons, as a mama who makes videos I'll say this: I'm proud of my love of tickling. It's none of my children's beeswax, but if/when they find out I'll tell them the truth and fully expect them to love me as much as I love them. Let them come home with green hair and idiot boyfriends, I'll hang here and make tickling videos to put them through college🙂 Heck, my 5 yr old already knows about this place, she thinks I come to watch the smilies

Bella

 

[Ayla ny]

hi bella! 🙂 you always manage to say what I wish I had. and you tell one hell of a cow joke. 😉

I guess you are both right. our very wise Tzar said the same. it just seemed to me that if someone went to the trouble of registering... well, then they must be into it and not just being nosy. I’ve taken so many bold steps in the past couple of years. what’s one more. right?

 

[venray]

You? Bold.....🙄


Got that right...😉



😀

 

[Ayla ny]

hey now! I'm shy and demure (except when I'm not...)! and don't you forget it, Mr. Ticklish-ping-pong-ball! 😉

 

[AffectionateDan]

She makes a valid point for those willing to listen, though...

...We're rapidly approaching nine THOUSAND members here, and less than 250 of us had been secure enough to post our mugs shots here. What is that, like two, maybe three percent? Sure, attrition has taken a few of them away, as well as inability to come up with a photo of one's self to post at all, be it lack of a scanner or digital camera, what have you. Bottom line is, the vast majority of TMF Members haven't posted their pictures. How many of them are for the same reason as Ayla? Fear of being "outed" to people whose business something THIS personal is absolutely not. I can't speak for them, obviously. Hopefully, they'll read this thread and come forward and speak their minds. But the numbers don't lie. Literally THOUSANDS of people spend their time here, networking with fellow ticklephiles, and a paltry two percent of them are comfortable enough to put a picture of themselves up. Makes perfect sense to me to take steps to put folks at ease, be it at a Gathering or online. If it's negligible, why not do it?

 

[BellaRisa]

Great points but whadawee do?

It just seemed to me that if someone went to the trouble of registering... well, then they must be into it and not just being nosy.

Depends on how you define 'trouble'. If some nasty schmoe is determined to out you, jumping through a few extra hoops would probably be worth it in their icky little mind-especially if it's still free . I've been human for years now, and I've learned that sometimes we can be a crummy but tenacious species. I am NOT saying that to scare you, but that's why I feel one has to be ready to deal with any potential flack. Otherwise, put up one of those pics where all we see is your pretty toes and one of your eyeballs 😎 . I'm self employed and all my clients are either vanilla or lame, so my sitch is a little easier I must say.

Makes perfect sense to me to take steps to put folks at ease, be it at a Gathering or online. If it's negligible, why not do it?

I fully agree, forgive me if that wasn't clear in my first post. It's just that I can't think of any way to make sure that only nice people (the non-outing kind) join us. If some creep suspects your pic is here, and they decide to use it to hurt you (she's into TICKLING! Burn her village!)I imagine they'd have the patience to wait for...whatever we made them wait for. Posting a certain amount, or somehow showing good intentions in another way.

I guess I feel that no internet usage is really safe from mean people, unfortunately🙁

Bella

 

[Em Es]

Ciao, Bella

Bella, you answered Ayla NY's question as well as anyone could. Bravo.

 

[Ayla ny]

I guess I’m kind of counting on the inherent laziness of the mildly curious. 🙂

here’s the scenario I see:

ex: yeah, we broke up.
friend: oh? why? what happened? if you don’t mind my asking...
ex: well, she’s got this thing for tickling... and got her panties all in a bunch when I didn’t get it. (NOT the only problem.)
friend: tickling? huh? what do you mean?
ex: she suddenly (ha! little does he know) decided that she couldn’t live without it. started going to these websites and
tickling orgies.
friend: no kidding. ...she always seemed so sweet. wow... *insert my name* is kinky! (friend makes mental note to look into this sometime. does a search and finds TMF. realizes that he can not see the member pics w/out registering, and decides to play yahoo spades instead.)

it’s the ease that scares me.

in fact, since I’m pretty sure that this post will disappear from the front page fairly quickly, and I have the utmost faith in the laziness of the mildly curious, this is the pic I wanted to post. www.angelfire.com/my/tickling/me.html

if someone goes to the trouble of registering or doing a search on my posts to ‘out’ me... well, then I’m pretty much outed. no matter what I do.

 

[BellaRisa]

Cute pic! (Man you have beautiful eyes...)

Here's my question. If some schmegeggie listens to your ex's gossip and actually cared to judge you, would they need to actually see your pic to cause mayhem, assuming that was their intent? I ask because the ickiest gossip and hearsay in my personal experience was without proof, which you're right is often too much work for the lazy.

If people are gonna talk aboutcha and judge, drop 'em. You have us now, and we throw way better parties 😎 .

Bella

 

[AffectionateDan]

STILL chuckling about "schmegeggie"...

Cute pic! (Man you have beautiful eyes...)

Doesn't she just?

😉

If people are gonna talk aboutcha and judge, drop 'em. You have us now, and we throw way better parties 😎 .

Bella

Ya gotta point there, Bella! Party at Danimal's Cave!

 

[Ayla ny]

If people are gonna talk aboutcha and judge, drop 'em. You have us now, and we throw way better parties 😎 .

Bella

and how!

to answer your question tho... probably not. people who don’t like themselves like to tear down people who do. a sad fact of life. unfortunately, I love some of those people.

ps thanks for the eyes comment. this from a girl who looks like danger itself in a butterfly tank dress. 🙂

 

[AffectionateDan]

Amen Boy Howdy!

ps thanks for the eyes comment. this from a girl who looks like danger itself in a butterfly tank dress. 🙂

That sums it up nicely! But we could all learn to live with danger like that on a daily basis, huh Gang?😉

 

[BellaRisa]

unfortunately, I love some of those people.

I understand. I talk smack but I can afford to. My own parents are both gone, the rest of my family is very distant and off-line, and my in-laws worship me; I married their beloved-but-doofus son, AND gave them not one but *two* gorgeous granddaughters after several generations of boys. (Did I mention I got Godivas and a mini-van for Christmas? 😎 ) I *do* have a Grandma in NY that I love very much, but she's 82 and still living in 1979. She hates my answering machine and thinks I completely made up email and faxing . Plus I'm an RBL (raised by lesbians) kid, Mom taught me that people who say they love you but put you down should be loved back, but preferably only on holidays 😉.

'Course, then she'd say i should be skinnier, like Vanessa Huxtable. Geez I hate Vanessa Huxtable... 😛

Bella

PS you gotta teach me to use eyeliner, when I do it I look like the raccoon who rides the short bus...

 

[terorizer]

'Course, then she'd say i should be skinnier, like Vanessa Huxtable. Geez I hate Vanessa Huxtable... 😛

Bella

Aww man... aww man aww man awwmanawwmanawwwman! Sweetie, you know you're my favorite.... but you just CANNOT go giving me that kinda material to work with!! Ooohh the pain of being good! :-X
You gotta a minivan though? Does the Mr have a sister? (I'll thank you all to refrain from your "Mister Mister" jokes- http://www.allmusic.com for those of you born after '78)

I will NOT hijack this thread, I won't dammit! Ayla, I can't really say anything better than those who've already said it, but I can relate to loving people who are less than loving. The consolation of being a better person with a bigger heart can sometimes seem like no consolation at all, but at the end of the day, being happy with yourself is a salve capable of soothing many a wound... sometimes even those caused by loved ones.

Oh, yeah Grizz...with Danger like that, who needs safety?

-Now back to Nick at Nite-

"Va..Bella... get off of that rack and come here...HEEERE.. you see, there is THERE and heere is HERE!.."

 

[Em Es]

Watch out behind you, Ayla

Ayla, you got nice eyes and a lot more going on. Wish I were behind you when that picture was taken, sneaking up to tickle those vulnerable underarms . . .

I live in New Jersey. You're in New York, right? If you'd like to discuss Tri-State area tickling, e-mail me at [email protected]

 

[Haltickling]

I can feel with you, Ayla. It took me quite a while to summon all my courage to give away my pic to the public, especially as I had to work with hundreds of high-level (= most conservative) customers. Some geek pointing them to the TMF might have cost me the job. Well, I'm jobless anyway now, but for other reasons...

But I convinced myself that a total stranger who happens to know me has only two possibilities to stumble across my pic:
1) He/she is into tickling him/herself, found the site by chance or search and sees my pic. In this case I don't think I have anything to fear. Anybody who's into tickling knows enough of the need for discretion.

2) He/she was pointed to the site by someone who knows me, too. In this case, the damage is already done, and the posting of my pic won't do any additional harm.

The chances to stumble across one's pic by mere chance is immensely small. Even if somebody finds the TMF 'by mistake' (just do a websearch on TMF and see all kinds of completely unrelated sites named), I sincerely doubt that he/she browses through the member pics' section. Those who are not into Tickling will probably go to discussion or Images, then they'll go away again, and the few fellow ticklephiles present no danger (see 1).

The scenario with your ex is scary enough, but then again, I'll echo bella: You shouldn't care too much about so-called friends wo turn their backs on you because you happen to like tickling. The real damage is coming from the tales of your ex, and they can't be prevented by hiding your pic.

But it's your decision, of course. As you are a beautiful woman (quite in contrast to me... 😛 ), all you'll get is a lot of compliments!

 

[BellaRisa]

this from a girl who looks like danger itself in a butterfly tank dress.

Thank you hon, that's sweet of you to say!

I gotta add this though: I have that same dress in yellow, I thought it would look awesome with my coloring (and it does 😎 ) So I put it on, and slink downstairs to show the hubby. His comment?

"OOOOH somebody sexed up Big Bird!"

Now see Your Honor, that's why I shot him...🙄

Bella

 

[AffectionateDan]

"OOOOH somebody sexed up Big Bird!"

Now see Your Honor, that's why I shot him...🙄

Bella

LoL! Reminds me of the movie, "Chicago", when the girls are telling their individual stories of how they got into trouble...
🙄

 

[BigJim]

The thought is nice but if someone really wants to see it becoming a member is very easy. I don't think that would deter many people from seeing it. I think the only answer for you is not to post a picture it seems you have far to many issues to be OK with it.

Gotta agree with Talons on this one. If you're that worried Ayla, then don't post one. If you want to let other people see your photo, you can always e-mail it to them directly.🙂

 

[jordan]

I'll post a pic of myself someday, but not till I'm ready.

 

[Ayla ny]

Thank you hon, that's sweet of you to say!

I gotta add this though: I have that same dress in yellow, I thought it would look awesome with my coloring (and it does 😎 ) So I put it on, and slink downstairs to show the hubby. His comment?

"OOOOH somebody sexed up Big Bird!"

Now see Your Honor, that's why I shot him...🙄

Bella

LOL sounds like justifiable homicide to me! there’s not a jury of women in the world who would convict you. altho... I think the ’usual’ sentence for stupid comments is a thump on the head with a throw pillow. 🙂

 

[AffectionateDan]

Or a Louisville Slugger...🙄