Limeoutsider
1st Level Green Feather
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2002
- Messages
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At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer
industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response
to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the
following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only
run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or
more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with
technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response
to Bill's comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the
following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be
driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart; in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
'Car95' or 'CarNT.' Then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was more
reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only
run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'general car fault' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say 'Are you sure?' before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 per cent or
more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine.
