Hootus1
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Moneypenny’s First Assignment
NOTE: This story is written using the original movie cast
“M” Bernard Lee
“Q” Desmond Lewellen
“James Bond” Sean Connery
“Miss Moneypenny” Lois Maxwell
May 1968
“M” was in a quandary. He had just received a telephone call from the PM. This was a new case, Diamond smuggling. And the worst part was all of his 00 agents were already on other assignments. He paced around his office for a time, wondering whether to pull Bond in off his current assingment. But tjat case might blow S.P.E.C.T.R.E. , completely out of the water! No, he thought I must leave Bond on that case. He knew whom he had to choose and he was reluctant to do so. If the PM found out his bum would be in a sling.
Miss Moneypenny sat at her desk doing her usual secretarial duties. Just then her intercom buzzed; “Miss Moneypenny would you come in please.” “Yes sir.” she replied. She thought to herself, “Another memo to type.” She walked into “M”s office, shut the door behind her and sat down in her usual chair. Pen in hand and at the ready, she waited for his dictation. “M” began; “Miss Moneypenny, you have been a grand secretary over the years and I believe it’s time to give you your chance in the field.” Moneypenny did her best to hide her shock. “M” continued, “We have known for some time that has been diamond smuggling between here and our South African diamond mines. The problem is, once they get into this country the trail goes deceptively cold. We have been watching the docks in Liverpool for sometime. We are almost completely sure that the diamonds come in there, but what we don’t know is where they go after that and how they are distributed. I want you to go down to the docks and see if you can find out where they are going; And how they are getting the diamonds out of England.”
Miss Moneypenny nodded and “M” then buzzed “Q” to come in. “Q” came in with a very unique and stylish purse for her to carry. It was black, and inside it was a Walther PPK, standard issue pistol for MI6. The inside pocket had a voice activated microphone sewn into the seam. All she had to do was open her purse and start talking into it. Also inside were a throwing knife and a small canister of tear gas. “M” said, “Good hunting, Moneypenny. Find out what you can, but don’t go trying to be a hero; Understand?” Moneypenny answred, “Yes sir.” And got up and walked out of “M”s office. She walked to her desk, put he things away and left on her assignment.
Soon she was down at the Liverpool docks, trying to be as inconspicuous as she could be and still carry out her mission. She watched as several dock workers unloaded some crates. The crates were labeled “Oranges” on the sides. Then she noticed that while some of the crates were being manhandled, others were being lifted by forklifts. She began to suspect that something was amiss about this and she began to work her way towrd the warehouse that the orange crates were being moved into. She slipped into the warehouse and hid until she heard the 5 p.m. whistle blow. Then she waited another fifteen minutes to be sure everyone was gone.When she was confident she was alone, she walked over to the crates. She managed to open one of each. The crates that had been fork lifted were really oranges. Then she looked in the other crate and picked up an orange. It was artificial! Out of curiosity she shook it and it rattled! She took out nail file and began to punch a hole in the fake orange. As she suspected, she saw the most beautiful diamonds inside this fake orange. She then began to look for a shipping list or bill of lading. She found the shipping list stapled to the crate. She had just read the destination of Berne, Switzerland, and was fixing to report her findings when she felt a strong pair of arms grab her and a cloth was put over her nose and mouth. She fought for a bit but soon the ether in the cloth overtook her, and her body went limp in her attackers arms.
A couple of hours later when she began to awaken, she tried to move her hands, but then she looked down to see that her wrists were strapped down to the arms of the chair she was sitting in. Then she looked down at her feet. Someone had removed her shoes and she saw that her ankles were trapped in manacles and sitting on top of some kind of machine. She began to look around the room she was in and saw her purse and shoes laying on a table to her right. Her purse was closed so it was of no use to her at the moment. She was inside a grey room made of cinder blocks and it had several large tiles on the walls.
Then she heard a door open behind her. Shortly a man came around and stood in front of her.
He asked, “Who are you working for?”
Moneypenny replied, “I’m not working for anybody, I’m a tourist.”
He said, “If you’re a tourist, what were your doing snooping around the warehouse and digging in the crates?”
Moneypenny didn’t return an answer.
He said, “We’ll find out who you are, you will talk after we get through torturing you!”
Meanwhile at MI6 headquarters, “M” called down to the foreman of signals and told him to listen for Moneypenny’s communications, and not to breathe a word of this to anyone. The foreman os signals said, “Understood sir.” and hung up. He then began monitoring the appropriate frequency for any transmissions from Moneypenny.
Moneypenny, unable to move, sat and watched as the guy who questioned her reached down and moved a lever on the machine that her feet were strapped to. She felt something on the soles of her feet. The she thought, “OH NO!” She gritted her teeth and held back as long as she could while the machine began to tickle her feet. Finallt she could hold back no more and began to laugh. While she laughed her torturer asked, “Who do you work for?” Moneypenny could only laugh she couldn’t answer him.
“HA HA HAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”
“This machine doesn’t stop my dear but it does change speed!” “Now, who are you working for?”
“NOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOBODEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
AHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA”
STAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPPPP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
She fought against her restraints as hard as she could but there was no escape. Tears had began to run down her cheeks as she continued to laugh. While this was going on, someone else had entered the room after going through her purse. They had found everything but the hidden microphone. The torturer stopped the machine for the moment. Moneypenny continued to laugh on for a bit before she regained a bit of her composure. She was still trying to get her breath back when she saw her torturer throw her opened purse on the table.
“A tourist doesn’t carry a Walther PPK my dear; So one has to assume you must work for MI6.”
Moneypenny shook her head and said, “No, I’m a tourist. Now let me go at once!”
“Wrong answer my dear, I guess I’ll just have to put the machine on the ultimate setting and leave you here to laugh to death.”
Moneypenny watched in fear as he bent down and turned the machine on again.
“This time it’s set on no mercy my dear. Have fun laughing youself to death. Then he left the room.
The machine started tickling her nylon covered feet again. She immediately screamed and began to laugh. No one could hear her pleas for help. The sound proof tiles on the walls were absorbing the sound of all her screams and laughter.
“EEEEEEEEEEKKK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAAAAHH, EEEEEEEEE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!
OOOOOHHH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOO,”
The machine then changed locations and it began to probe and tickle between her toes. Moneypenny’s eyes widened in horror when she felt her toes being tickled because her most vulnerable spot had been found. She screamed long and loud, then continued laughing.
“NOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA
HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“M’s” phone rangat his desk. He answered it with his customary “Yes”
“Foreman of signals here sir, we are getting a signal from Miss Moneypenny sir.” “M” replied, “Well what is she saying man!” The foreman of signals replied, “Sir, all we are getting is a woman laughing and screaming and yelling for help, it’s on her frequency sir so it’s got to be her!” “She must be in trouble sir.”
“M” said, “Contact James Bond and get him back here immediately!”
Moneypenny was just about to reach the point of silent laughter. She was about ready to pass out when her torturer returned and stopped the machine. “Still hanging on, I see.” he said. Moneypenny could not answer him, she was trying to get her wind back. “Would you like a drink of water my dear?” he asked. Moneypenny nodded. “Then tell us who you work for!” Moneypenny shook her head, “No”. He set the glass of water down on the table, then turned the machine back on!
It was obvious to Moneypenny that they were indeed going to tickle her to death slowly. She yelled for help as the machine began to tickle her feet again!
“HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP MMMEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEE YEEEAAAAAAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHA”
She clamped her eyes shut and was laughing herself to insanity. When the machine switched from probing her toes to making long steady drags up and down her soles, toes to heels and back. She opened her eyes wide when the machine changed its location then fell back into hysterical laughter. Her ribs ached and she was perspiring heavily as her torture continued. After laughing for so long and so hard, she couldn’t even move her feet anymore. The machine had beaten her will. Now it ravaged her feet and toes.
Moneypenny laughed on, only able to move her head. She rolled it around and laughed as the machine kept tickling her feet. Her face showed the agony of being tickled relentlessly Her eyes were shut tightly again, and her chin bounced as she laughed as hard as she could. When she did manage to open her eyes all she saw was a blur. Her mind was racing, as was her heart. She let go with another scream for air as the machine kept working her soles over. She was laughing so hard and loud that she never heard the gunshots that went off. The next thing she knew was the machine had stopped torturing her feet. To her surprise there stood James Bond. He began to release her feet. Then he released her hands. She was almost to weak to stand up.
Bond helped her up and as she got her balance , he grabbed her purse and helped her out to his waiting Aston Martin. While she sat in the car in her stocking feet, James Bond went in and got the tickle machine. He brought it out and put it in the boot(trunk). Then they heade for headquarters.
Moneypenny asked, “James, Why did you go back after that infernal machine?” Bond answered, “For Q to investigate and possibly make me one!” Moneypenny shook her head.
By the way Moneypenny, you have beautiful feet dear. Moneypenny blushed, thanked him, then said, “James your such a cad!” Bond smiled and they headed for London.
The End
NOTE: This story is written using the original movie cast
“M” Bernard Lee
“Q” Desmond Lewellen
“James Bond” Sean Connery
“Miss Moneypenny” Lois Maxwell
May 1968
“M” was in a quandary. He had just received a telephone call from the PM. This was a new case, Diamond smuggling. And the worst part was all of his 00 agents were already on other assignments. He paced around his office for a time, wondering whether to pull Bond in off his current assingment. But tjat case might blow S.P.E.C.T.R.E. , completely out of the water! No, he thought I must leave Bond on that case. He knew whom he had to choose and he was reluctant to do so. If the PM found out his bum would be in a sling.
Miss Moneypenny sat at her desk doing her usual secretarial duties. Just then her intercom buzzed; “Miss Moneypenny would you come in please.” “Yes sir.” she replied. She thought to herself, “Another memo to type.” She walked into “M”s office, shut the door behind her and sat down in her usual chair. Pen in hand and at the ready, she waited for his dictation. “M” began; “Miss Moneypenny, you have been a grand secretary over the years and I believe it’s time to give you your chance in the field.” Moneypenny did her best to hide her shock. “M” continued, “We have known for some time that has been diamond smuggling between here and our South African diamond mines. The problem is, once they get into this country the trail goes deceptively cold. We have been watching the docks in Liverpool for sometime. We are almost completely sure that the diamonds come in there, but what we don’t know is where they go after that and how they are distributed. I want you to go down to the docks and see if you can find out where they are going; And how they are getting the diamonds out of England.”
Miss Moneypenny nodded and “M” then buzzed “Q” to come in. “Q” came in with a very unique and stylish purse for her to carry. It was black, and inside it was a Walther PPK, standard issue pistol for MI6. The inside pocket had a voice activated microphone sewn into the seam. All she had to do was open her purse and start talking into it. Also inside were a throwing knife and a small canister of tear gas. “M” said, “Good hunting, Moneypenny. Find out what you can, but don’t go trying to be a hero; Understand?” Moneypenny answred, “Yes sir.” And got up and walked out of “M”s office. She walked to her desk, put he things away and left on her assignment.
Soon she was down at the Liverpool docks, trying to be as inconspicuous as she could be and still carry out her mission. She watched as several dock workers unloaded some crates. The crates were labeled “Oranges” on the sides. Then she noticed that while some of the crates were being manhandled, others were being lifted by forklifts. She began to suspect that something was amiss about this and she began to work her way towrd the warehouse that the orange crates were being moved into. She slipped into the warehouse and hid until she heard the 5 p.m. whistle blow. Then she waited another fifteen minutes to be sure everyone was gone.When she was confident she was alone, she walked over to the crates. She managed to open one of each. The crates that had been fork lifted were really oranges. Then she looked in the other crate and picked up an orange. It was artificial! Out of curiosity she shook it and it rattled! She took out nail file and began to punch a hole in the fake orange. As she suspected, she saw the most beautiful diamonds inside this fake orange. She then began to look for a shipping list or bill of lading. She found the shipping list stapled to the crate. She had just read the destination of Berne, Switzerland, and was fixing to report her findings when she felt a strong pair of arms grab her and a cloth was put over her nose and mouth. She fought for a bit but soon the ether in the cloth overtook her, and her body went limp in her attackers arms.
A couple of hours later when she began to awaken, she tried to move her hands, but then she looked down to see that her wrists were strapped down to the arms of the chair she was sitting in. Then she looked down at her feet. Someone had removed her shoes and she saw that her ankles were trapped in manacles and sitting on top of some kind of machine. She began to look around the room she was in and saw her purse and shoes laying on a table to her right. Her purse was closed so it was of no use to her at the moment. She was inside a grey room made of cinder blocks and it had several large tiles on the walls.
Then she heard a door open behind her. Shortly a man came around and stood in front of her.
He asked, “Who are you working for?”
Moneypenny replied, “I’m not working for anybody, I’m a tourist.”
He said, “If you’re a tourist, what were your doing snooping around the warehouse and digging in the crates?”
Moneypenny didn’t return an answer.
He said, “We’ll find out who you are, you will talk after we get through torturing you!”
Meanwhile at MI6 headquarters, “M” called down to the foreman of signals and told him to listen for Moneypenny’s communications, and not to breathe a word of this to anyone. The foreman os signals said, “Understood sir.” and hung up. He then began monitoring the appropriate frequency for any transmissions from Moneypenny.
Moneypenny, unable to move, sat and watched as the guy who questioned her reached down and moved a lever on the machine that her feet were strapped to. She felt something on the soles of her feet. The she thought, “OH NO!” She gritted her teeth and held back as long as she could while the machine began to tickle her feet. Finallt she could hold back no more and began to laugh. While she laughed her torturer asked, “Who do you work for?” Moneypenny could only laugh she couldn’t answer him.
“HA HA HAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.”
“This machine doesn’t stop my dear but it does change speed!” “Now, who are you working for?”
“NOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOBODEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
AHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA”
STAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAPPPP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
She fought against her restraints as hard as she could but there was no escape. Tears had began to run down her cheeks as she continued to laugh. While this was going on, someone else had entered the room after going through her purse. They had found everything but the hidden microphone. The torturer stopped the machine for the moment. Moneypenny continued to laugh on for a bit before she regained a bit of her composure. She was still trying to get her breath back when she saw her torturer throw her opened purse on the table.
“A tourist doesn’t carry a Walther PPK my dear; So one has to assume you must work for MI6.”
Moneypenny shook her head and said, “No, I’m a tourist. Now let me go at once!”
“Wrong answer my dear, I guess I’ll just have to put the machine on the ultimate setting and leave you here to laugh to death.”
Moneypenny watched in fear as he bent down and turned the machine on again.
“This time it’s set on no mercy my dear. Have fun laughing youself to death. Then he left the room.
The machine started tickling her nylon covered feet again. She immediately screamed and began to laugh. No one could hear her pleas for help. The sound proof tiles on the walls were absorbing the sound of all her screams and laughter.
“EEEEEEEEEEKKK HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAAAAHH, EEEEEEEEE
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHELLLLLLLLPPPPPP!
OOOOOHHH HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOO,”
The machine then changed locations and it began to probe and tickle between her toes. Moneypenny’s eyes widened in horror when she felt her toes being tickled because her most vulnerable spot had been found. She screamed long and loud, then continued laughing.
“NOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
YAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA
HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
“M’s” phone rangat his desk. He answered it with his customary “Yes”
“Foreman of signals here sir, we are getting a signal from Miss Moneypenny sir.” “M” replied, “Well what is she saying man!” The foreman of signals replied, “Sir, all we are getting is a woman laughing and screaming and yelling for help, it’s on her frequency sir so it’s got to be her!” “She must be in trouble sir.”
“M” said, “Contact James Bond and get him back here immediately!”
Moneypenny was just about to reach the point of silent laughter. She was about ready to pass out when her torturer returned and stopped the machine. “Still hanging on, I see.” he said. Moneypenny could not answer him, she was trying to get her wind back. “Would you like a drink of water my dear?” he asked. Moneypenny nodded. “Then tell us who you work for!” Moneypenny shook her head, “No”. He set the glass of water down on the table, then turned the machine back on!
It was obvious to Moneypenny that they were indeed going to tickle her to death slowly. She yelled for help as the machine began to tickle her feet again!
“HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP MMMEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEE YEEEAAAAAAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHA”
She clamped her eyes shut and was laughing herself to insanity. When the machine switched from probing her toes to making long steady drags up and down her soles, toes to heels and back. She opened her eyes wide when the machine changed its location then fell back into hysterical laughter. Her ribs ached and she was perspiring heavily as her torture continued. After laughing for so long and so hard, she couldn’t even move her feet anymore. The machine had beaten her will. Now it ravaged her feet and toes.
Moneypenny laughed on, only able to move her head. She rolled it around and laughed as the machine kept tickling her feet. Her face showed the agony of being tickled relentlessly Her eyes were shut tightly again, and her chin bounced as she laughed as hard as she could. When she did manage to open her eyes all she saw was a blur. Her mind was racing, as was her heart. She let go with another scream for air as the machine kept working her soles over. She was laughing so hard and loud that she never heard the gunshots that went off. The next thing she knew was the machine had stopped torturing her feet. To her surprise there stood James Bond. He began to release her feet. Then he released her hands. She was almost to weak to stand up.
Bond helped her up and as she got her balance , he grabbed her purse and helped her out to his waiting Aston Martin. While she sat in the car in her stocking feet, James Bond went in and got the tickle machine. He brought it out and put it in the boot(trunk). Then they heade for headquarters.
Moneypenny asked, “James, Why did you go back after that infernal machine?” Bond answered, “For Q to investigate and possibly make me one!” Moneypenny shook her head.
By the way Moneypenny, you have beautiful feet dear. Moneypenny blushed, thanked him, then said, “James your such a cad!” Bond smiled and they headed for London.
The End
