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TicklingDuo

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HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE?

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago.

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this is?"

I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."

She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.

"Do you need some help?" I asked.

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door UN-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they would have a battery to fit this?" she said, pointing to a distant convenient store.

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.

As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.

With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister.

I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.



Unbelievable!
Ann
 
Darwin Award Winner

Don't recall where this one took place, other than "somewhere in the Midwest."

Electric utility companies use helicopters to inspect power lines and the cleared right-of-way for potential problems. One such copter spotted a human form on top of one of the pylons, apparently dead. The crew that went in on the ground to investigate found 5 empty beer cans at the base of the tower. At the top was the electrocuted corpse and the one remaining full beer out of the 6-pack. This genius had apparently climbed the tower to enjoy the view, and brought refreshments. When the beer hit bottom... well, I'll leave it to your imagination. The tower is electrically grounded. The wires were carrying 230,000 volts.

Strelnikov
 
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