Much Younger Women???

[Slaver123]

I want to discuss this seriously.

I'm 40 and can't seem to find a woman my age who's interested in me (who isn't a HEAVY drinker) However an 18/19 year old coworker has an obvious crush on me. Again. This happens to me all the time. I wouldn't be so alone if I'd go out with women half my age but I just can't do it. Is it principles or hormones that hold me back?

Why not? There's nothing morally wrong with dating a legal adult who's half my age, so why does it feel so instinctively wrong that I can't even consider it? Has "Providence" been throwing possible partners my way over the years but I've been rejecting them all for age reasons?


Is something wrong with me cause I'm not like George Burns (who dated 20-somethings well into his 80s)???

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

the hollywood brother would love to have your problem of having young ticklish girls throwing themselves at you but the hollywood brother can also see your point of view. there is nothing wrong with you. you have a hollywood brother inspired idea of what you want and that is exactly what you want. the hollywood brother thinks it is okay for you to enjoy tickles and romance with the girls that have crushes on you but just do not give up your dream of what the ideal for you is. also who knows maybe you might fall for this girl that has the young crush on you

 

[Slaver123]

My thanks to the Hollywood Brother- BTW, wish I had one fifth of your confidence (or do they call it 'swagger' nowadays?) Don't know if any of these girls are into tickling, but you're right, I shouldn't totally rule someone out cause of age etc. Maybe I should pursue "romance and tickles" with girls who have crushes on me......

 

[Spiral_Bomb]

IMO you can't help who you develop feelings for. Plus, she crushed on you first :B

I could go into detail and get analytical but eh. It all comes down to personal thoughts on the subject matter so the answer would be different from others I suppose. I'm in her position though, 19 and crushing on someone in their late twenties. Can't help it.

 

[Journia]

Nothing is wrong with you. The reason that you are thinking that it's uncomfortable, is just because you have been existing in a society where some--or rather, a very vocal minority-- look down upon it and put it in such low esteem that when someone thinks about it, they feel bad, thinking that they should stick to their own age bracket.

Because you've been living in this area, and you've been hearing it. You'll just begin to have it be almost second nature if you're not careful.

Of course some could argue that if you were to date a younger woman, she might run you down to a nub, financially, and energetically. Or if she dates you, you two fall in love, and then marry, then you die, it would be assumed that it's from old age.

But I just say, just because you've been taught something, does not mean it's right. Hey...I thought the world was flat...no...it's round fool!

 

[ttheocjones]

I've had that same problem and from some younger than that. I think there is a age limit but 19-20 and up is o.k. In my ethnic group girls 18 sometimes are mothers and even though the mental is immature the physical isn't. You just have to be selective and feel it out.

 

[Hootus1]

The key thing, I think, would be having something in common with them. Personally, I don't believe I could relate to a young person of that age anymore; considering I am 54.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

the hollywood brother is in his hollywood brother thirties and could see benefits to a younger partner. for example, a younger partner not only might be more pleasing to the eye but a younger partner will always be younger so as you age you have someone younger ot grow old with and if needed help out. also a younger partner might have more energy for hollywood brother inspired tickle sessions

 

[kopfhorer1]

Nothing is wrong with you. The reason that you are thinking that it's uncomfortable, is just because you have been existing in a society where some--or rather, a very vocal minority-- look down upon it and put it in such low esteem that when someone thinks about it, they feel bad, thinking that they should stick to their own age bracket.
...
But I just say, just because you've been taught something, does not mean it's right. Hey...I thought the world was flat...no...it's round fool!

Well said, Journia. When love or lust hits, age shouldn't mean very much as long as both parties are legal.

I once had a woman who was considerably older than I take a similar kind of interest in me. It was not at all unpleasant (and this was long before such people were referred to by the name of a certain kind of jungle cat)!

 

[Dave2112]

I could go on at length about the pitfalls and traps in being involved with younger women...so I will! 🙂

I'll be the last person to tell you not to get involved with younger chicks...but you need to keep it in perspective. I would NOT expect anything long-term or too terribly deep to come of it. "Dating" is one thing, a "relationship" is quite another. Lemme fill you in on something about 19 year old girls (and guys for that matter, so no offense to the ladies of that age group here)...they're flighty and easily distracted by shiny objects. You said this girl is "crushing" on you. That's exactly it...she's crushing, not feeling anything that could lead to love.

Now, this could be fun for awhile, and if that's all you're concerned about, go for it! This has nothing to do with morality, that's socially-imposed. There are just a few things that guys our age need to look out for when involved with MUCH younger girls. Again, this is nothing against anyone in particular, just the things that often creep up in these dynamics.

* You will have little in common socially.
* Her life will chug along at a much faster pace than you are going to want to keep up with after a certain amount of time.
* If it does last awhile, you're gonna want to hope her parents are the rare breed that are gonna be cool with it. Not that you'll be dealing with any particular threat, per se, but expect a load of discomfort for both of you. And that's not even mentioning her friends who WILL know EVERYTHING the moment it happens whether you're aware of it or not.
* Young women often "crush" and then become overwhelmed if the object of their fantasy actually takes them up on it. Like a dog finally catching that car he's chasing...now what?
* SOME (not all, but more than you'd think) young women can become very manipulative when involved with an older man they feel has "won" something..."gotten the hot young chick" sorta thing. If they intend to or not, it's often natural for an emotionally and socially underdeveloped girl (ie: most women under 27 or so) to use her sexuality. And, it's often in the nature of the older man to fall for it. Just the way the species is.

Of course, men play their part in the issues with these dynamics. I know men who just cannot relate to women their own age, can't be equal partners, have some sort of dominance-confusion issues or whatever...and just string along a series of young girls 'cuz that's all they can emotionally handle.

This may sound very disparaging, but it's basically just to help you put some things into perspective. Of course, there are always exceptions. I know of a two very successful couples (vanilla, even, so it's not a kink bond)...in one, the guy's 42 and the woman is 28, another with a 51 year old man and a 27 year old woman. Now, 19? Probably not gonna work long-term.

If this is a kink thing, like, she's into your fetish, just take it as that and have fun, expect little else. Ever notice that most of the successful kink video producers (and I'm talking the real ones, not just the morons with cameras) use 19 year old models/subs...but are married to women around their own age? Hell, even Shy and I, a couple who like to play with others, have a lower age-limit when it comes to who we'll play with. It's a maturity thing, and we're just talking about play here.

If you are going to pursue this, find out a bit about her, see what she's like outside of anything sexual, and put the whole thing in perspective. That's my advice. 😉

 

[Rox_My_Sox1]

just the way the species is.

he knows too much!

^_~

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

the hollywood brother was thinking and the bottom line is that if it makes you happy then enjoy it. the hollywood brother has not felt 18 in many many years and might never ever feel that again. with this hollywood brother fact no out in the open the hollywood brother can say that the hollywood brother do not know how happy he would be with a ticklish younger person at the hollywood brother's side. all the hollywood brother knows is that if you enjoy her company and like her then go for it and do not give up. If rocky balboa does not give up when apollo creed was hurting him then we should never give up either in our quest to go the distance in whatever we want out of life

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

It really is a case-by-case basis. The girl I'm seeing is nearly half my age, and most of the time, the advice already offered holds true(lack of things in common, differing maturity levels, etc). In our case, things work to a certain extent because neither of us are anything like "the norm".

 

[Slaver123]

It really is a case-by-case basis. The girl I'm seeing is nearly half my age, and most of the time, the advice already offered holds true(lack of things in common, differing maturity levels, etc). In our case, things work to a certain extent because neither of us are anything like "the norm".

That's the key to any healthy relationship- if she's not a 'norm' then age wouldn't be a barrier to me....

 

[kopfhorer1]

It really is a case-by-case basis. The girl I'm seeing is nearly half my age, and most of the time, the advice already offered holds true(lack of things in common, differing maturity levels, etc). In our case, things work to a certain extent because neither of us are anything like "the norm".

I wanna say something to you, Rick...no, I don't wanna say it, 'cos it's kind of crass...oh, what the hell...You lucky dog! 🙂

Seriously, the fact that we're all here discussing activities which wouldn't even register as sexual activities to most people would indicate that precious few of us here are within "the norm". And that's a good thing!

 

[Slaver123]

I could go on at length about the pitfalls and traps in being involved with younger women...so I will! 🙂

I'll be the last person to tell you not to get involved with younger chicks...but you need to keep it in perspective. I would NOT expect anything long-term or too terribly deep to come of it. "Dating" is one thing, a "relationship" is quite another. Lemme fill you in on something about 19 year old girls (and guys for that matter, so no offense to the ladies of that age group here)...they're flighty and easily distracted by shiny objects. You said this girl is "crushing" on you. That's exactly it...she's crushing, not feeling anything that could lead to love.

Now, this could be fun for awhile, and if that's all you're concerned about, go for it! This has nothing to do with morality, that's socially-imposed. There are just a few things that guys our age need to look out for when involved with MUCH younger girls. Again, this is nothing against anyone in particular, just the things that often creep up in these dynamics.

* You will have little in common socially.
* Her life will chug along at a much faster pace than you are going to want to keep up with after a certain amount of time.
* If it does last awhile, you're gonna want to hope her parents are the rare breed that are gonna be cool with it. Not that you'll be dealing with any particular threat, per se, but expect a load of discomfort for both of you. And that's not even mentioning her friends who WILL know EVERYTHING the moment it happens whether you're aware of it or not.
* Young women often "crush" and then become overwhelmed if the object of their fantasy actually takes them up on it. Like a dog finally catching that car he's chasing...now what?
* SOME (not all, but more than you'd think) young women can become very manipulative when involved with an older man they feel has "won" something..."gotten the hot young chick" sorta thing. If they intend to or not, it's often natural for an emotionally and socially underdeveloped girl (ie: most women under 27 or so) to use her sexuality. And, it's often in the nature of the older man to fall for it. Just the way the species is.

Of course, men play their part in the issues with these dynamics. I know men who just cannot relate to women their own age, can't be equal partners, have some sort of dominance-confusion issues or whatever...and just string along a series of young girls 'cuz that's all they can emotionally handle.

This may sound very disparaging, but it's basically just to help you put some things into perspective. Of course, there are always exceptions. I know of a two very successful couples (vanilla, even, so it's not a kink bond)...in one, the guy's 42 and the woman is 28, another with a 51 year old man and a 27 year old woman. Now, 19? Probably not gonna work long-term.

If this is a kink thing, like, she's into your fetish, just take it as that and have fun, expect little else. Ever notice that most of the successful kink video producers (and I'm talking the real ones, not just the morons with cameras) use 19 year old models/subs...but are married to women around their own age? Hell, even Shy and I, a couple who like to play with others, have a lower age-limit when it comes to who we'll play with. It's a maturity thing, and we're just talking about play here.

If you are going to pursue this, find out a bit about her, see what she's like outside of anything sexual, and put the whole thing in perspective. That's my advice. 😉

EXTREMELY sound advice, Dave. A crush is just a crush, and a week later she could be crushing on someone else.

No idea if she's into my fetish, but that's not really a barrier; I've found that when a woman's into me she'll at least play along with a fetish if asked...

 

[Spiral_Bomb]

Nothing is wrong with you. The reason that you are thinking that it's uncomfortable, is just because you have been existing in a society where some--or rather, a very vocal minority-- look down upon it and put it in such low esteem that when someone thinks about it, they feel bad, thinking that they should stick to their own age bracket.

Because you've been living in this area, and you've been hearing it. You'll just begin to have it be almost second nature if you're not careful.

Of course some could argue that if you were to date a younger woman, she might run you down to a nub, financially, and energetically. Or if she dates you, you two fall in love, and then marry, then you die, it would be assumed that it's from old age.

But I just say, just because you've been taught something, does not mean it's right. Hey...I thought the world was flat...no...it's round fool!

I quite agree with Journia on most points. It was put better here than in my own post. Bottom line is age doesn't have to matter.

As for a crush being just a temporary thing, well, it can be, more often than not. Personally, I've crushed on a few people recently, but only the latest has been something I would actively pursue if given the opportunity, but alas the party in question is not interested, yet still I can't shake the feelings towards them. Given my nature I believe that a crush can evolve, so to speak, if prolonged exposure to the crushee is given, be it by actual contact or just thinking about them too much, especially if you get to know them better and see how wonderful they are.

I'm a firm believer that anything is possible when it comes to feelings of love or any sort of emotion beyond just friendship between two people. These emotions are not something you choose to develop. The strongest ones just pop up within you, against all reason or logic and despite any social "norms", racial barriers, etc. Whether you act on them or ignore them is a different story though.

As far as the fetish(es) are concerned, now I look in the direction that they are not necessary (I used to crush on a gal online who had no sexual interests, normal or otherwise, though nothing ever came of the feelings), but for others they may not feel so. I do believe however that with the right person, one not so into our kinks may open up a bit, experiment or what have you. Don't count on something like that though, because it may not be a definite. It's simply a possibility.

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

I wanna say something to you, Rick...no, I don't wanna say it, 'cos it's kind of crass...oh, what the hell...You lucky dog! 🙂

Seriously, the fact that we're all here discussing activities which wouldn't even register as sexual activities to most people would indicate that precious few of us here are within "the norm". And that's a good thing!

Yeah, I don't even know what qualifies as "normal" anymore.

Anyway, I doubt anything serious will ever come of it, but what we have right here and now isn't bad. 🙂