My Dad's Fruitcake Recipe! heheheheh

[QBWeaver]

I have decided to send this recipe again this year as I feel it is important for people to have a good fruit cake recipe for Christmas...

Cheers and happy cake drinking...

Fruitcake Recipe:

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

DIRECTIONS:
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl.

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven.

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window.

Check the whiskey again.

Go to bed.

Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

 

[Dave2112]

Oh, QB! That was the best freakin' laugh I've had all damn week! Sounds like me when I make "brownies"...😀

 

[Slappy McGee]

LOL

I think your dad made a fruitcake with your mom, about nine months before your birthday.

🙂

just kidding.

Slappy

 

[QBWeaver]

Hey you guys! I'm not as think as you drunk I am!

Hiccup!

 

[TicklingDuo]

HEY!!!

I happen to like fruitcake!

If you get a nice big one...

it works well as a bomb...for those who live on upper floors...

or as an elephant patty...for those with pink elephants in their livingrooms...

or a nice target...for those who like to practice with their shotguns.

If you get those mini ones...

they work well as hockey pucks, skeets and to instert in snowballs (when you REALLY want to make an impression).

Fruitcake?....gotta love it! Now, where's my barf bag?

Ann

 

[QBWeaver]

I still firmly believe there's only one fruitcake in the entire universe and it gets passed around from family to family every year. It must be over 100 by now! LOL

 

[Strelnikov]

Actually, QB, there's one that's at least 91 yrs old. Provenance as follows: Old maid lived her whole life in the the house she was born in. She changed nothing inside the house, it was kinda like a time capsule from 1935 when her mother died. House was bought by a nice yuppie couple with an idea of restoring it. On the top shelf of the kitchen pantry, they found a cardboard box addressed to the old maid's parents. Inside were a Christmas card from 1910 and a tin containing a fruit cake. Saw it on Antique Road Show.

Strelnikov