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My feelings about proms in high schools today

G

GirlWhoLikes2Laugh

4th Level Orange Feather
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I know this may seem like a strange topic but it's something I've been thinking about lately. When I was in high school and for most decades, there has been the idea of voting for a King & Queen. I think that schools should be more inclusive instead of exclusive when it comes to this, in that somehow have a more variety of candidates to choose from instead of just being the most popular in both positions. I think it's better than a lot of people feeling singled out because 2 people win at the prom who are the most popular in the class. I mean some people might not be bothered by it but it's kind of rubbing it in the other classmates that they're more popular than you.

My b/f told me that he actually heard about a school that decided to have a girl with Down Syndrome get elected Prom Queen, which I know isn't traditional queen but I am definitely for it. This kind of goes along the lines of when children are in gym and there's two captains to pick teams and I feel sorry for kid who gets picked last or rather that team gets stuck with them. That happened to me a lot in elementary school. I think it's better instead of 2 captains picking teams to have the kids count 1,2,3,4 and then everyone is on team 1, team 2, team 3 or team 4.

Look forward to your responses.
 
I was terrible at sports and frequently got picked last or almost last. I was a band nerd in high school,
and was not prom queen. Then I graduated and ceased giving any fucks about the prom or high school
popularity.
 
BrightEyes1082 said:
I was terrible at sports and frequently got picked last or almost last. I was a band nerd in high school,
and was not prom queen. Then I graduated and ceased giving any fucks about the prom or high school
popularity.
Click to expand...
I can say almost the same:
I was terrible at sports and frequently got picked last or almost last. I was a math nerd in high school,
and was not prom king, that award going to the most popular member of the football team. Then I graduated and ceased giving any fucks about the prom or high school popularity.

Amanda, if not for the difference in our ages, I would say we were made for each other. :rowfull:
 
Thanks for sharing so far Amanda and Milagros. The sad thing was, I was actually decent at sports. When kids pick teams, it becomes a popularity contest.
 
That is sad, that you were good at sports but not picked early because you weren't popular. 🙁
 
That's weird, it's usually the ones that are good at sports that are the popular ones... so you shoulda been popular. 😛

Me on the other hand, I was in drama in high school. Sometimes I regret not trying out for football though... but that would take away from doing plays and stuff and I don't know if I'd want that... plus my high school's team sucked and I don't know if I'd want to be part of that. 😛 And no, I was not that popular in high school. Although I wasn't a social outkast either and the cool kids (including some really cute cheerleaders) would talk to me even though I wasn't what you'd call popular...

As far as prom goes. I didn't vote. I don't remember who was nominated for prom king and queen or if I knew any of them. And I also didn't go to prom, which as stupid as it may sound is actually one of my regrets about high school. I didn't do any of the things that normal high school students did and that kinda bums me out when I think about.
 
milagros317 said:
I can say almost the same:
I was terrible at sports and frequently got picked last or almost last. I was a math nerd in high school,
and was not prom king, that award going to the most popular member of the football team. Then I graduated and ceased giving any fucks about the prom or high school popularity.

Amanda, if not for the difference in our ages, I would say we were made for each other. :rowfull:
Click to expand...

LOL. Yes, that's our only difference.
 
Also, to add what I said up there, the down syndrome person... You make it sound like some administrator stepped in and said she was going to be prom queen, but I believe the students decided to vote her prom queen.
 
mtTicklemonster said:
Also, to add what I said up there, the down syndrome person... You make it sound like some administrator stepped in and said she was going to be prom queen, but I believe the students decided to vote her prom queen.
Click to expand...

You're probably right, she was probably elected prom queen. I still think that's a progressive thing to happen in high school. Even though I was good at sports, I was socially awkward and appeared shy. The other kids noticed it and most of them had a problem with me. It was because I had Asperger Syndrome but I didn't know what it was called at the time.
 
Some friends of mine in the New York theatre scene did a play a decade ago, set in a high school back in the late '70s, that had a little snippet on the subject, in a short meeting between the senior class advisor and the two top student officers. (Milagros: You came to a reading of this one, back in 2004. It's the one written by a friend of mine where the class jock is having a secret affair with, well, not the prom queen.)

MR. CHANDLER: Let’s start with the class trip. The general feeling is for Montreal, right?
BRENDA : Yes, that’s right. Montreal’s gonna be wicked!
MR. CHANDLER: Then we can put it to a vote tomorrow, and then get the request to the school board Friday?
BRENDA: Sounds good. We have to pick winter carnival queen candidates, too.
MR. CHANDLER: Ah yes, what would western civilization be without its social reproduction rituals?
BOBBY: Come again?
MR. CHANDLER: Oh, nothing, just waxing anthropological.
BRENDA: Not your favorite event, I take it?
MR. CHANDLER: Let’s say, I wouldn’t jump off any bridge if we had to go without it.
 
Competition is all around you. There's always someone working hard to be the best at something and you can always make anything seem like a popularity contest. At my school, I was popular because I got along with everyone and didn't mind talking to all kinds of people from the loneliest non-athletic "nerd" to the jocks / cheerleaders (if they were nice people). I was involved in a ton of sports and extracurricular activities and took AP classes, etc. I don't necessarily see "popular" as a negative word as to me, it means you get along with lots of people, not necessarily that you're the most attractive, have the most money, etc. At least, that was my experience. I was nominated for Homecoming Queen or Prom Queen, I don't remember which one it was now. I didn't win, which would seem even more humiliating to be nominated and have to stand on stage just to not win in front of everyone (vs not even being nominated at all), but things like that can only bother you as much as you let them. In the grand scheme of life, how much impact does winning prom queen have? lol I feel like getting hurt over not winning something so meaningless will only lead you to having many disappointments in life. Gotta have a thick skin.

On a side note, my school was really small. My graduating class had less than 130 kids so wasnt as much to choose from and in order to be nominated for prom/homecoming court, you had to have a certain gpa and be in at least 3 extracurricular activities.
 
Last edited:
I was on my homecoming court, and our queen was actually on the football team as well 😛 Only female player in the conference. She was really nice, and totally deserved the win as well. We had a really varied court, actually, all kinds of races, a gay guy, it was pretty diverse.

Stereotypes can take odd turns.
 
Our school never had prom kings or queens.

We had valedictorians, but that was it.
 
Knicks: I'm curious about two things. (1) Did people know that the gay guy was gay? (2) What decade was this in?

(My own high school days were the late '70s, and in my high school back then, being gay was totally anathema. Back then, I never would have imagined that the day would come when some of my closest friends would be gay, which is very much the case now.)
 
BrightEyes1082 said:
I was terrible at sports and frequently got picked last or almost last. I was a band nerd in high school,
and was not prom queen. Then I graduated and ceased giving any fucks about the prom or high school
popularity.
Click to expand...

I was band nerd as well. It's funny sometimes how hard I have to try to remember things because I just blocked my experiences in school.

I tried doing prom/having a date for it. I got stood up last minute, of course. Ah, pleasant memories..
 
High School was a very long time ago. I don't give a fuck. The HS diploma on my wall is proof that it ended.

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Let the kids decide for themselves.

I for one champion competition. It's the way the world works.
 
We never had any such thing as queens or kings 🙂

We just dance together and have fun. The whole concept of having to pick a queen or king seems a bit silly.
It´s already hard enough to deal with inviting someone or getting to be invited. No need to add extra stress by making people try to be the best on that given day.....makes no sense at all.
 
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