my friend...

[isabeau]

some of you remember me posting a while back about my friend who was fighting an addiction to alcohol..and kept falling off the wagon..i finally blocked him, because he was constantly drunk..yesterday for some reason i decided to unblock him, but he was offline...i tried his cell phone...it said no longer in service..then i checked my emails...i received one from his mother..he died over the weekend..trying to detox himself yet again..he lost his fight with alcoholism, but maybe now he can find peace...i didn't post this yesterday because i was laying a guilt trip on myself..but today i realized it wasn't my fault..

 

[Illtcklu]

I am truly sorry, Izzy. I KNOW you tried!!!!!

 

[Headsnap]

some of you remember me posting a while back about my friend who was fighting an addiction to alcohol..and kept falling off the wagon..i finally blocked him, because he was constantly drunk..yesterday for some reason i decided to unblock him, but he was offline...i tried his cell phone...it said no longer in service..then i checked my emails...i received one from his mother..he died over the weekend..trying to detox himself yet again..he lost his fight with alcoholism, but maybe now he can find peace...i didn't post this yesterday because i was laying a guilt trip on myself..but today i realized it wasn't my fault..

Sorry to hear about that, it's pretty tragic when addictions claim lives but at the end of the day if you tried you tried.

 

[isabeau]

thanks but obviously i didn't try hard enough..anyway i'm sharing this online because that's where i met doug..online..i have to think of his mother, who now has lost two sons in a space of one year..

 

[Headsnap]

I dunno, I think in cases where you're trying to help people through addictions there comes a point where you realise you can't do anything more than be there and offer support, especially if it's online friends. Addicts need to work themselves through addictions, if you were there for him then you did your part. I feel for his mum though, nobody should have to bury one of their children let alone two.

 

[kered]

So very sorry Melanie. I also had a friend who passed like that and I know what you are going through. It is not easy to loose someone that way.

 

[Bugman]

thanks but obviously i didn't try hard enough..anyway i'm sharing this online because that's where i met doug..online..i have to think of his mother, who now has lost two sons in a space of one year..

Melanie don't say that,i'm sure you did everything you could.You could not
fight your friend's battles for him.I'm very sorry to hear he was not able to
overcome his problems.Remember the good thing's about him,say a prayer for him and his mother and don't blame yourself.

 

[kurchatovium]

I am so sorry isabeau. I know how hard you tried to help him but dont feel bad. You did all you could. If I ever had a probelm of any sort of this magnitude I would want a friend like you in my corner. Peace and wuv hun. If you need to talk you know where to reach me.

 

[slap'n'ticklee]

Mel, I'm very sorry to hear this news. I know how hard you tried to be there for him and showing him care and love and being there to listen, what more could a friend ask.

I do hope you are not bashing yourself over this, as its not your fault and its such a shame that he may have had issues with his life to make him drink that heavily in the first place.

I do wish you well hon, and please don't feel negative about this, for you, matey don't deserve to feel like that *hugs*.

 

[alchemy]

I'm sorry to hear that Melanie. Sometimes, people are just a bit beyond our help. There's nothing we can do.

 

[milagros317]

It wasn't your fault at all, Isabeau. You tried to help him and he didn't listen to you. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[unclebill]

What everyone else said, Melanie. Hope you feel better. You did your best.

 

[isabeau]

thanks to all who replied..maybe i was wrong to post something so personal on an impersonal forum..i keep forgetting how many members are here..but the peeps who have answered..i love you all and who says online friends aren't real friends? you have proved otherwise...yea i'm not beating myself up any longer..however i was about his only friend..but i do know that no amount of anything i said would have changed the outcome..his problems began early..he lived with depression since childhood...he was a Vietnam vet..alcohol ruined his marriages, his various careers, and eventually his life.. i will miss the sober him, but not the drunken one..

 

[unit5610]

Just caught this thread...my sympathies are with you. You did what you could, you can only give so much. Feel good that you were there and you tried to make things better. I'm sure his mom appreciates it, too.

 

[DannyMc]

You were a loving friend from beginning till end ...........

 

[Mastertank1]

Melly.....

thanks to all who replied..maybe i was wrong to post something so personal on an impersonal forum..i keep forgetting how many members are here..but the peeps who have answered..i love you all and who says online friends aren't real friends? you have proved otherwise...yea i'm not beating myself up any longer..however i was about his only friend..but i do know that no amount of anything i said would have changed the outcome..his problems began early..he lived with depression since childhood...he was a Vietnam vet..alcohol ruined his marriages, his various careers, and eventually his life.. i will miss the sober him, but not the drunken one..

The ONLY person who can cure or help an alcoholic or addict is themself.
My best friend came back from Nam a junkie. I babysat him while he cold turkey withdrew.
I held his held while he puked himself inside out.
I beat the crap out of the pusher who came around to try to get him using again.
I held him down and kept him from hurting himself when his muscles were writhing under his skin like a bag full of snakes.
What happened? He almost at once became an alcoholic.
I roomed with him to try to help.
I got him into rehab twice. he got thrown out because;
A-he had no real desire to stop drinking
and
B-he was distrupting the recovery of others in the programs.
He blew a highly paid, stellar career on Wall Street.
When his drunken actions cost me a job for the second time, I had to cut my losses and leave him on his own.
He became homeless, and died on the streets on a freezing night a few winters ago.
I mourn for the man and friend he once was, not the drunk he became.
I know it wasn't my fault, just as your friend's passing is not your fault.
No one can help an alcoholic or addict except themself.
If you had done more, whatever you imagine that might have been, within the realm of human possibility; IT WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ENOUGH!
Therefore-it is NOT YOUR FAULT.
End of rant.
Love
Mitch

 

[tickleshotel]

melanie,I am so sorry hun to hear about your friend...But it is not your fault hun..You tried everything you could to be there for him as a friend,but sad as it may seem he had to help himself . Despite your sadness as his passing,you had to cut yourself from his friendship as he wasn;t listening to your advice and it is sad how he passed away

 

[isabeau]

thanks friends again...and Tank yikes how sad.. anyway, i wasn't sure as i said whether i should have posted this..i mean this is a tickling forum..not an obituary..i guess i felt because i had started a few threads regarding his drinking problem, that i would go ahead and post his death..alcohol unfortunately played a major part of his life..ruining his relationships, his career and ultimately his life..he was a Vietnam vet as was his brother..i don't know..maybe the problems stemmed from there..anyhoo i won't be posting on this thread again..thanks to all who responded..it means much to me..

 

[rajee]

I'm sorry about your friend Melanie. Your 1000% right, it isn't your fault one iota. People make their own choices and live with their actions of their choices. Its a tragic thing that happened but your right that now his spirit is in peace and drug and alcohol free. 🙂