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News Headlines in the Year 2035

JPie1

1st Level Green Feather
Joined
Apr 19, 2001
Messages
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NEWS HEADLINES IN 2035 -

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon.)

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

California : White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops &
livestock.

Baby conceived naturally....Scientists stumped....!

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
largest country in the world,

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $7.89 and
reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil
rights.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January
2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political
contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75% ...

Oct. 12th, 2035 - 25th anniversary of the death of "Common
Sense"..
 
JPie1 said:
NEWS HEADLINES IN 2035 -

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.


Yeah, we had a multi-million dollar study aboot that here in Canada.
Also found that smoking may be linked to Cancer...

Science is amazing...

Cheers.😀
 
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