Now that there are 41,000 of us...

[Libertine]

It seems that we have quite a pool of potential couples. I'm fortunate enough to have discovered a soulmate (I won't bother spelling out the pun) but what about the rest of you? With a potential database the size of a small town, (and all over 18...) surely the awesomely clever Jeff can work on importing some software which will act as a TMF Dating Forum? A version of 'Match.com' could be exactly what this site needs.

Basing a relationship on a single quirk is ridiculous and like trying to marry after a one night stand. But if the 'hobby' is a given, then the overwhelming majority of the survey questions must concentrate on the shared vanilla interests which make up the day to day life of any ordinary happy couple.

Yes, we could also have a box to tick for those who simply wish a casual encounter, but 'It is not good for Man to be alone' (Genesis II, 18) and I'm sure most of you want more than that.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[slap'n'ticklee]

I think this could be a good idea, just have to watch out for the stalkers and unsavoury characters and think it would have to be moderated with a very close eye.

 

[AffectionateDan]

Once upon a time...

...there used to be a site exactly as you describe, called "TickleMatch.Com".

Unfortunately, for whatever reason I don't know, they quickly went the way of the dodo. Which blows my mind, knowing how many of us there are, I'd have bet good money that it would've been a complete success. Perhaps now that the community is much more established, something like this would stand much more of a chance...

 

[lk70]

I swear...I swear...I swear....I was just thinking this exact same thing this morning. So naturally I think it's a fabulous idea 😀

 

[TMF Jeff]

I think that's a great idea.

I wonder if we have anyone on the forum who knows what would be involved in setting something like that up? We must have some webmaster/software guys among us.

 

[sabaki]

opinion

I think it may not be worth the effort it takes to implement.

41000 is deceivingly large. How many of those are alts of single individuals? How many are people who logged on once out of curiosity and never came back? Or people who use the TMF just for downloading media and never interact with the "community"?

Narrow it down just to the people who would probably use the match system, and I would think you're looking at probably under 3000 people (it bears looking into, could be much larger -- I don't know). About 750 are women, who are the limiting reagent here, so to speak.

I just don't think this population is large enough to support any kind of successful matching system like you see on other sites. Yeah, you'd make a few more matches, and they would be well-known success stories. But we're already matching people just using personals and chat and the PM system. It seems to work just fine to me, or as well as you can expect.

Edit:

It's kinda hard right now to know who is single and looking and who is single but just wanna play the tickle field.

Just ask them?

I think the idea is really cool, and if someone implemented it I'd use it for sure. But what will it give us that we don't already have?

 

[Mz Chaos]

I swear...I swear...I swear....I was just thinking this exact same thing this morning. So naturally I think it's a fabulous idea 😀

What she said.

At least then folks would know who was interested in finding someone for a longterm relationship instead of just casual tickle meets. It's kinda hard right now to know who is single and looking and who is single but just wanna play the tickle field.

It'd be cool if there was a requirement in there that the person has to be legitimately SINGLE and not MARRIED BUT WANTING TO BE SINGLE.

I don't know about anyone else... but I don't wanna get into a relationship and then find out that I'm "the other woman" or that the other person isn't as unattached and as available as they let on. Been there, done that and hated every minute of it!

Other than that... I think it's a wonderful idea!!! Where do I sign up???

 

[makemlaugh2003]

It sounds like a great idea....for MOST people....

...but what I think it's important to remember is that there are obvious reasons why SOME of us prefer Internet chat to "real life" when it comes to meeting and play with people. I'm not at all handsome (I'm NOT fishing for compliments or pity, it's just a fact), and I can't imagine any lady would want to strike up a relationship, particularly one that centers somewhat around tickling, with an ugly man. Like I said, it's a wonderful concept for many, but for me I'm more than content to exist in a forum where my short list of proficiencies shines through better. I wish anyone great luck with finding a true love or at least a great partner through such a service and God bless you all, even the lurkers, who especially need it. *^)

 

[Capnmad]

Sabaki makes a good point -- the 41,000 is deceivingly large, riddled with aliases, hardcore lurkers, and the merely curious once-and-doners. However, I still think the idea might be worth the effort.

As for the stalkers and general freaks, you'll come across these in any population, and that's why the same precautions should be taken getting to know them as you would in any other scenario with friendships/relationships started with someone on the 'net. Spend time chatting, or maybe talking on the phone -- see if anything weird pops up -- if they give you an odd vibe, that sort of thing. Maybe even look around to people they've interacted with before, to get a "read" on them... And of course, always be cautious about first meetings and the conditions under which they are conducted. There's a bunch of other stuff, but it's mostly common sense to the cautious.

I think it's a superb idea, Jonmath! Cheers! 😀

 

[lk70]

I'm sure the 41,000 is a bogus number too and while the actual numbers are much much smaller and the number of women is low (I'm stipulating this, I don't know the facts), as long as no huge financial investment is made I'd say it would be cool.

Of course I'm no programmer and I really don't know how much effort it would be so it's not like I can volunteer.

 

[BLUE_THUNDER]

it sounds like a very cool idea to me, id be all for it...

 

[leeboy]

We already kind of have that. There is a personals section to this site. I've tried it before to find a female tickle partner but never got any . I think people here would just rather chat.

 

[lk70]

We already kind of have that. There is a personals section to this site. I've tried it before to find a female tickle partner but never got any . I think people here would just rather chat.

The personals section, to me, has seemed more like a place for guys looking just to play. I'd be reluctant to use it to look for something more than that.

It's difficult to know who's here for what, like Mz Chaos said.

 

[sabaki]

The personals section, to me, has seemed more like a place for guys looking just to play. I'd be reluctant to use it to look for something more than that.

It's difficult to know who's here for what, like Mz Chaos said.

In a good personal ad, the person is quite specific about what they're looking for. I've seen some people looking for friends, some for potential partners, and some for "just" play. I think the real reason why personals fail is that men almost never get replies (or even views!), so most guys will (smartly) never post an ad, even if they are looking for a relationship. Whereas women get tons of often really stupid replies, so they're understandably reluctant to post as well.

If we had a match system, it would just further this same issue. I think many women wouldn't want to participate if they knew it would just fill up their PM box faster. Guys would probably still participate, because, well, nothing lost, nothing gained. 🙂 But a small population of participating women would probably mean failure for the system.

Maybe many goals that would be achieved by jonmath's idea could also be achieved more simply...

One change that would be helpful and easy is to have a new profile field where you can list what you're looking for: friends, play partners, dates, etc., as well as your marital/relationship status, like on match sites. That would take away some of the uncertainty about contacting a new person.

Another addition that would be cool (but data storage intensive) is to allow user testimonials to be attached to someone's profile. If you're worried about creeps, just look for someone who has a lot of positive feedback from other members.

 

[Mz Chaos]

One change that would be helpful and easy is to have a new profile field where you can list what you're looking for: friends, play partners, dates, etc., as well as your marital/relationship status, like on match sites. That would take away some of the uncertainty about contacting a new person.

Another addition that would be cool (but data storage intensive) is to allow user testimonials to be attached to someone's profile. If you're worried about creeps, just look for someone who has a lot of positive feedback from other members.

Well... for me... that would suck because I normally don't look up the profiles of every poster. It'd be a lot easier to go to a "single and looking" place than to have to research each and every profile of those who post. And it would exclude those who lurk.
I've been to the personals... from what I've seen most are just looking for folks to play with and not necessarily for long term relationships. I don't see the downside of just adding another section in the personals where folks who are looking for long term relationships can post their ads.

 

[Ticklee1973]

It does sound like a great idea although like lk70 said what does something like that take in terms of programming.

 

[terorizer]

My first impression - it couldn't hurt. On the contrary, there is a great potential upside.

 

[Phineas]

In my opinion, it wouldn't be worth the effort it'd take to code.

Not that it'd take a lot of effort to code, but you see where I'm going with this.

I've been a member of this forum for years... and it has been my experience that, unless they're all hiding behind a tree, there are no actual single-and-looking women on this site. They're all either not interested in meeting someone, taken/married, gay, or too paranoid to meet someone. So such a database would simply wind up the same as the Personals forum; full of lonely guys trolling for that most mythical of beasts, the single-and-available TMF female.

 

[Mz Chaos]

So such a database would simply wind up the same as the Personals forum; full of lonely guys trolling for that most mythical of beasts, the single-and-available TMF female.

Hear that Tamia? We're mythical creatures! Cool! You be the unicorn... I wanna be sasquatch!!!

 

[Phineas]

I am so not going to make a "bigfoot" crack.

Seriously though, what purpose would such a database serve that the Personals forums do not? It's already pretty well established that they don't work, so why would a database?

 

[ticklishscribe]

Well you're halfway there as you've got big feet. Just don't cut your hair or shave your armpits and you're allset. You are one awesome all together woman.

Hear that Tamia? We're mythical creatures! Cool! You be the unicorn... I wanna be sasquatch!!!

 

[Mz Chaos]

I am so not going to make a "bigfoot" crack.

Chicken... go ahead... I know my size 11's aren't anywhere near dainty.

As I said, I only see folks in the personals who want play dates and not ones who are serious about looking for long term relationships.
I think all that's needed is maybe another section or two in there specifying what they are looking for. Perhaps one labled "Looking for Life Partners" and another "Looking for Play Dates." I don't see where it would be all that much trouble... maybe even section it out according to area for each... just add/or rename a section in the personals.
I think all that's needed is just specification so folks know what it is the others are looking for.

 

[daddy]

I don't think it would be worth the time, effort or money. I have seen ideas like this try to hatch over and over again, and the bottom line is hardly anyone gets involved. We have a small personals section and I have not heard a success story yet because of it alone.

I think that just being part of the forum is the best possible way to meet others. If ya wanna take it further, we have a chat room or ya can send a PM.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to see something like this work on a very large scale, and maybe oneday it will, but until people become involved or get un-shy or whatever holds them back, I just don't see it happening.

BTW...there is very cool dating software out there that I am sure could be intergrated with a vBulletin database. There is one inparticular that I have been involved in since it's conception that is way cool. You can almost build a "mySpace" like environment. It is still beta though, but coming along nicely!

peace out,
daddy

 

[ticklkitten]

If Tamia gets to be Unicorn I wanna be Pegasus!!!!

I have no idea. It could work.

I've actually thought for awhile now that the addition of marital status and motivation for membership were listed in our profiles that it could be pretty useful.

 

[Phineas]

If Tamia gets to be Unicorn I wanna be Pegasus!!!!

I have no idea. It could work.

I've actually thought for awhile now that the addition of marital status and motivation for membership were listed in our profiles that it could be pretty useful.

That would be handy... but people would fill it out as often and as accurately as they do that "Location" section. And even then, who'd be able to locate someone in their area other than randomly running across them on the forums?

Also, I think a lot of the guys posting for play dates would be thrilled if something developed out of it. I know I would - but so far, despite having met a pretty nice amount of people since I wound up here in Da Bay, all the women have been already spoken for.

(11? Dayum - that's the size I wear!)