Over in the "gatherings" area, following a post about local tickle group munches and parties (DC-VA-MD area), a couple of questions arose that sort of beg for a broader community exposure. Thus I thought I’d like to post a few of my thoughts here as well as in the other section. I believe the questioners have not yet attended any tickle munches or events themselves yet, but would be coming as "first timers".
The questions that always rise, first and very frequently. There is a shyness on everyone’s part, when considering showing up for a small gathering of folks with an interest in a behavior that could be regarded as “alternative” to social norms.
This shyness is even present in some extroverts, but can be nearly crippling for an introvert. A hobby of mine is a light study of humanistic psychology. The most shy and retreating personalities of all the Meyers-Briggs 16 “types” are the rare INFP’s. Not only are they rare among women, but they are almost non-existent in guys. I have been plagued all my life as being an INFP, and have had to some degree, learned to ‘cope’ with myself and in the big world outside. If there is something I want to get to that is so very compelling, I’ll battle with my own innate shyness and go!
The question most guys seem to have is, how many women will show up. There is an implication in that, that they may be reluctant to come to a gathering unless there is a good mix, many ladies as well as men, and a chance to meet a partner. I have to say that the odds at present are somewhat against that. At munches, we’ve had normally from 4 to 6 men, occasionally 7. And normally two or three ladies, occasionally only 1, my wife Melinda. From what I’ve heard at parties, and from the one NEST I attended, the ratio might be about the same, but the numbers of course are larger.
So if you have a party of 20 total, perhaps 13 or 14 of those will be men, the other 6 or 7 will be women. Most women come with a guy as a couple, but there are some brave single ladies who show up at parties and munches by themselves. These ladies do indeed have a very great interest in getting into the tickle scene. They often are far less ambivalent about jumping in than many men even seem to be!
Part of the predicament is that tickling itself seems to be a sort of “fringe” alternative sensual play pleasure, particularly as a social event. While there are only a few adventurous souls in the world today who want to come out in public and meet and greet other ticklers, it seems there are multitudes more for whom tickling is simply a private bedroom affair (sigh). We’ll never turn their minds on that one though.
Ticklers are just beginning to come out of their hiding spots (last three or four years), connecting first or so it seems electronically over the net, then in the munch/party format that the new groups are forming. I will admit that there have been some tickle fans who’ve had private parties for many years, but as a national and international phenomenon, it’s only in its infancy today, compared to many other (…. um) socially “alternative” pleasures and behaviors.
Being a ‘multi-fetishist’ myself; I dally in foot-fetishism, spanking, and the “leather-bondage” scene. For some unknown reason, ladies seem to show up at spanking and leather parties in far greater numbers and percentages than at tickle gatherings. I can only guess that the reasons for this are that at spanking and leather parties are far more “established”, and tend to attract at least 60 to 80 for monthly parties, and many hundred for seasonal gatherings and festivals. Also there are quite set “codes” of etiquette at these parties which are not to be violated. And ladies as well as gentlemen who attend are quite well aware of these codes of behavior. Violation can mean expulsion from the party immediately, and repeated violations can ostracize a person from the “scene” for life.
This alternative community is small enough that at least in the US and Canada, word gets around quickly, and reputations can be established and ruined by good and poor behaviors. Acceptable behaviors are truly meant to help people feel safe and comfortable making new friends who share their "thing".
I only say all this to present that there is a sense of safety and community and frivolity, and yes even comfort in attending and joining a group where you can meet others, the opportunity “may” arise to meet someone to share some tickling fun, and perhaps even someday to meet a lifetime tickle partner. The numbers may not be great yet, but each new person who comes is one person more. The ones who don’t come won’t know what they may have missed.
Spenser
The questions that always rise, first and very frequently. There is a shyness on everyone’s part, when considering showing up for a small gathering of folks with an interest in a behavior that could be regarded as “alternative” to social norms.
This shyness is even present in some extroverts, but can be nearly crippling for an introvert. A hobby of mine is a light study of humanistic psychology. The most shy and retreating personalities of all the Meyers-Briggs 16 “types” are the rare INFP’s. Not only are they rare among women, but they are almost non-existent in guys. I have been plagued all my life as being an INFP, and have had to some degree, learned to ‘cope’ with myself and in the big world outside. If there is something I want to get to that is so very compelling, I’ll battle with my own innate shyness and go!
The question most guys seem to have is, how many women will show up. There is an implication in that, that they may be reluctant to come to a gathering unless there is a good mix, many ladies as well as men, and a chance to meet a partner. I have to say that the odds at present are somewhat against that. At munches, we’ve had normally from 4 to 6 men, occasionally 7. And normally two or three ladies, occasionally only 1, my wife Melinda. From what I’ve heard at parties, and from the one NEST I attended, the ratio might be about the same, but the numbers of course are larger.
So if you have a party of 20 total, perhaps 13 or 14 of those will be men, the other 6 or 7 will be women. Most women come with a guy as a couple, but there are some brave single ladies who show up at parties and munches by themselves. These ladies do indeed have a very great interest in getting into the tickle scene. They often are far less ambivalent about jumping in than many men even seem to be!
Part of the predicament is that tickling itself seems to be a sort of “fringe” alternative sensual play pleasure, particularly as a social event. While there are only a few adventurous souls in the world today who want to come out in public and meet and greet other ticklers, it seems there are multitudes more for whom tickling is simply a private bedroom affair (sigh). We’ll never turn their minds on that one though.
Ticklers are just beginning to come out of their hiding spots (last three or four years), connecting first or so it seems electronically over the net, then in the munch/party format that the new groups are forming. I will admit that there have been some tickle fans who’ve had private parties for many years, but as a national and international phenomenon, it’s only in its infancy today, compared to many other (…. um) socially “alternative” pleasures and behaviors.
Being a ‘multi-fetishist’ myself; I dally in foot-fetishism, spanking, and the “leather-bondage” scene. For some unknown reason, ladies seem to show up at spanking and leather parties in far greater numbers and percentages than at tickle gatherings. I can only guess that the reasons for this are that at spanking and leather parties are far more “established”, and tend to attract at least 60 to 80 for monthly parties, and many hundred for seasonal gatherings and festivals. Also there are quite set “codes” of etiquette at these parties which are not to be violated. And ladies as well as gentlemen who attend are quite well aware of these codes of behavior. Violation can mean expulsion from the party immediately, and repeated violations can ostracize a person from the “scene” for life.
This alternative community is small enough that at least in the US and Canada, word gets around quickly, and reputations can be established and ruined by good and poor behaviors. Acceptable behaviors are truly meant to help people feel safe and comfortable making new friends who share their "thing".
I only say all this to present that there is a sense of safety and community and frivolity, and yes even comfort in attending and joining a group where you can meet others, the opportunity “may” arise to meet someone to share some tickling fun, and perhaps even someday to meet a lifetime tickle partner. The numbers may not be great yet, but each new person who comes is one person more. The ones who don’t come won’t know what they may have missed.
Spenser
