NYC Driving...

[qjakal]

DRIVING RULES

1- Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver
never uses them.

2- Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be
filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more
dangerous situation.

3- Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered
going with the flow.

4- The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
you have of getting hit.

5- Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one
expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended.
If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper,
come to a complete stop at all stop signs.

6- A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how
many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you
sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way
back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

7- Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure
that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as
the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance to stretch your legs.

8- Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a
good way to scare people entering the highway.

9- Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions
and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.

10- Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to
speed up or move over, doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high
beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

11- It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the
instant the light changes.

12- Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first, by
whatever means necessary.


Sadly, although this is framed as humor, most of these are very accurate, and don't really describe the true problems in the city...none of them address gridlock (my personal pet peeve), which results from drivers going into intersections that don't have room for them to clear the intersection, resulting in hundreds of people being held up in the other direction when the light changes so that the moron who sits in the intersection didn't have to wait for another cycle of lights...this should be a death penalty offense for repeat violators. Maybe in LA it is? Q

 

[ShiningIce]

Q, out of curiosity......are you from Jersey?

 

[JoBelle]

I learned a couple of things about the streets of NYC a couple of months ago. Q, your humor there....delightful~!

I loved the skyline! It was beautiful, but the streetlines...hmmm...
Kinda like the ultimate highschool driving class! I was bewildered at the fact that the literal lines on the street were considered more of a nuisance than anything else..lol. No one used them. Riding in a taxi was kinda like riding with someone learning how to drive a standard after they knew what the clutch was, but were not sure how to use it yet!

I walked alot! 😉

I did notice that the one thing cars watch for more than speed, skill, lights, potholes, cops, horses, or other cars....is a human foot stepping into the crosswalk. Kinda empowers ya. *giggle* Gotta love a town where the sidewalks get gridlocked more than the streets of New Orleans..lol
All in all it was very educational and I can't wait to get back!
Joby

 

[Mimi]

Just a quick note....

These rules also apply to driving in IL. Then they come here to WI and drive the same way. Hence the cause of 50% of the road rage WI drivers experience *giggles*

*crawls back into her death bed*

Mimi

 

[omega]

Traffic problems must be everywhere.

I just hate the gridlock in our little town of 90 people.

Of course gridlock for us happens once every couple of months when you absolutly have to stop at the intersection with no traffic signs because the neighbor just happens to be leaving at the same time you are. 🙁

You might ask, "Why are you the one who stops if there are no traffic signs at the intersection?"

Good question: It's because I'm the preacher in town and everyone knows the preacher better be nice and stop or everyone in town will talk about how rude the preacher is.

 

[Prime]

i have always thought this picture accurately describes some of the problem in traffic situations....

 

[CitY of MicA]

always feel obligated to come to the city's defense (and with my 500th post no less)

NYC driving, or more accurately Manhattan and inner-city highway driving, is definitely hell. It's just one more reason not to own a car here. However, I've lived in the City for years without one. Visitors may not always be aware that the public transportation in NYC is pretty darn good. A car is therefore unnecessary and a potential hassle between the high blood pressure driving and parking.

Foot traffic can be bad, but it really depends on what area you're in. When you're not part of the rush-hour Grand Central/Penn Station/Midtrown crowd, you can easily forget what a mob scene those places can be come 5:00. The City is so large and so diverse that it becomes difficult to generalize (although fun nonetheless). I can assure, though, that it's not just schlubs like me who use public transportation and get around by foot 🙂 .

 

[qjakal]

NYC...

Hope this didn't come across as picking on the city...it's my fav place, but NOT the traffic..lol. I'm far enough out on the Island now that the train is the best choice for getting to the city...by far! After that, I either walk or cab it depending on my mood and destination. Q

 

[JoBelle]

Q,
I don't think it came across as picking on the city.
🙂
I fell in love with that place, traffic and all so it all works for me. It seems so silly to some people, but one of my favorite little scrap momentos of my visit was the Metrocard I used to get around on the subways. LOL I live in a town that has a smaller population than there were pedestrians walking on an average night in NYC! Public transportation does not exists here. To see people using their feet or public transportation did my heart good. Can you imagine the air if everyone drove? LOL

Still, everyone in my town is likely similar to Omega's....we all wave (even to strangers) at the corner stopsigns! LOL
Joby

 

[venray]

I learned in Massachusetts......

1) The goal of the Boston driver is not to arrive first at their
destination. It is to do their part in making the driving experience
as challenging as possible for the other drivers, however much it may
slow their own commute. This is illustrated by those who come to a complete
and total stop, and wait for three clear lanes of traffic, when the turn
they are making feeds into a dedicated lane nobody else can use anyway.
Note that they do not do this unless there is someone waiting behind
them.

2) Note the number one classic technique, the "Mass Pullout". When pulling
into traffic on a busy, undivided, two-way, four-to-eight lane street
from a parking lot or stop sign, it is simply not acceptable to wait
for all lanes of traffic to empty in order to make a smooth entry onto
the roadway. This could slow one down as much as 30-40 seconds.
Life-threatening behavior is clearly justified to avoid the delay.
Take it one lane at a time. When the lane directly in front of
you is free, pull into it, perpendicular to traffic, and stop. Repeat
until you have blocked all lanes in both directions. Then, slowly turn
into the direction of choice, re-crossing as many lanes as possible.
Straddle any two lanes of choice and proceed at 20% of the posted speed
limit until you are passed angrily by one of the people you cut off.
Then tailgate them no matter what speed they go, since the incident was
obviously their fault.

3) Massachusetts invented the traffic rotary. Most Boston techniques apply
here, but remember several special rules when negotiating a rotary:

1 - Proceed into the rotary regardless of who may already be in that
lane, pausing first only if there is no one in front of you and
several people behind you.
2 - Proceed directly to the middlemost lane in preparation for
abruptly crossing the maximum number of lanes when exiting.
3 - If you want to exit the rotary from the inner "fast" lane and are
uncomfortable about doing so, simply stop your car. This will
cause other people to stop and try to pass you, effectively
clearing the lane to your right, allowing you to pull into it at
your leisure.
4 - Remember that only YOU have the right of way in any rotary.

4) Turn signals are a sign of weakness.

5) Misplace your Mass Turnpike ticket, and don't look for it until you are
stopped at the toll booth. Never carry exact change, it's considered rude.
Never pull into the toll lane you appear to have selected. Always veer two
or three lanes to one side or another at the last minute for no apparent
reason. Once you have reached the toll booth, ask for directions, even
if you're not lost. Repeat them back several times. Do NOT follow
the directions you are given.

6) If you are driving a rental car, conceal that fact using
"WBCN-The ROCK of Boston" bumper stickers, lest to be identified as a
"%@#&* tourist", which would result in a feeding frenzy and your
certain annihilation.

Never park at meters. Meters run out and you will get a ticket. Simply double
park next to the empty space, thereby saving not only a parking ticket, but the
meter change as well.

Don't be fooled by the lines on the road. If there is almost enough room for
two cars--move over, it's two lanes.

Never put on your signal in anticipation of a turn. Signals are to be
used to let other drivers know what you have just done. Always wait until
you are well into the turn before signalling.

Never, never look for street signs. If you do find one, it is probably
turned around.

When asking for directions, always ask the person to spell out the name of the
street since you will not recognize it from their pronunciation.

Directions such as turn left, turn right, or go straight, are almost always
useless since every intersection in Boston must have at least 5 points,
none of which are left, right, or straight.

If you miss your turn, never plan on circling the next block to get back. No
two blocks in Boston are parallel.

If you are a pedestrian size up the traffic flow and find spots where you can
dart in between cars to get across several lanes of traffic. Don't worry
that you are crossing against the light. If any startled driver stops when
you jump out inches from his car, be sure to give him a dirty look because
now he has messed up your traffic pattern.

Put away the street maps--they won't help. Follow your nose and you'll have
better luck.
And last of all don't forget--the expression "You can't get there from here"
originated in Boston.


Happy motoring..............

Ven