Olfactory Outlaws....

qjakal · Apr 23, 2003

The Dave's Daily Newsletter
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CITY BANS SMELLY PEOPLE FROM BUSES

(Oregon) - You had better hit the shower before you board
the bus in Bend, Oregon. Proposed new city rules would ban
spitting, smoking, skateboarding, and stinking on city buses.
The regulations ban anyone who "emanates a grossly repulsive
odor that is unavoidable by other Bend Extended Area Transit
customers" from being in the bus station or on a bus.

"It's an effort to keep the riding experience as pleasant and
safe as possible," said city attorney Jim Forbes. He noted
that the city already has an ordinance prohibiting people
from releasing "highly objectionable odors" on city property.

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Limeoutsider · Apr 23, 2003

Are these people really bored?

luv2bt&tickled · Apr 23, 2003

Guess it means they don't care for smelly people! :jester:

Thanks Q, 😛

Haltickling · Apr 23, 2003

Does that mean that people who had sweated at work all day long aren't allowed to take the bus home where they can shower? If so, they'd better install public shower cabins at every bus stop... 😛

sole seeker · Apr 23, 2003

I remember some years ago that a satyrical music artist (Al Yankovik?) did a take-off on Queen's Another One Bites The Dust entitled, Another One Rides The Bus! It was supposed to be hillarious, but I've never heard it. Anyone know the lyrics? Seems appropriate.

TKpervert · Apr 23, 2003

eh .. un-enforceable law. Talk about subjective testimony if one wants to fight it.

first witness: smelled like someone loaded their pants.
second witness: all I smelled was lilacs.
third witness: I smelled orange marmalade.
Judge: case dismissed.

The newest videocams do a great job with sights and sounds, but they have a tough time reproducing odors faithfully.

venray · Apr 23, 2003

Another One Rides The Bus
by Al Yankovic

Lyrics:

Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard
And the place was pretty packed
Couldn't find a seat so I had to stand
With the perverts in the back
It was smellin' like a locker room
There was junk all over the floor
We're already packed in like sardines
But we're stoppin' to pick up more
Look out

Another one rides the bus
Another one rides the bus
And another comes on
And another comes on
Another one rides the bus
Hey
He's gonna sit by you
Another one rides the bus

There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs
There's an elbow in my ear
There's a smelly old bum standin' next to me
Hasn't showered in a year
Well, I think I'm missin' a contact lens
I think my wallet's gone
And I think this bus is stoppin' again
To let a couple more freaks get on
Look out

Another one rides the bus
Another one rides the bus
And another comes on
And another comes on
Another one rides the bus
Hey
He's gonna sit by you
Another one rides the bus

Yeah

Another one rides the bus
Another one rides the bus, ow
Another one rides the bus, hey, hey
Another one rides the bus, hey

The window doesn't open, and the fan is broke
And my face is turnin' blue
I haven't been in a crowd like this
Since I went to see The Who
Well, I should've got off a couple miles ago
But I couldn't get to the door
There isn't any room for me to breathe
Now we're gonna pick up more, yeah

Another one rides the bus
Another one rides the bus
And another comes on
And another comes on
Another one rides the bus
Hey
He's gonna sit by you
Another one rides the bus

No
No
Huh?
Yeah
Yeah

maverick83 · Apr 23, 2003

sole seeker said:
I remember some years ago that a satyrical music artist (Al Yankovik?) did a take-off on Queen's Another One Bites The Dust entitled, Another One Rides The Bus! It was supposed to be hillarious, but I've never heard it. Anyone know the lyrics? Seems appropriate.

<A HREF="http://4dw.net/maverick83/MP3s/Another%20One%20Rides%20the%20Bus.mp3">Right Click And Save Target As</a>

His Divine Shadow · Apr 24, 2003

It's only so funny because it's true. :blaugh:

qjakal · Apr 24, 2003

Hey....

Haltickling said:
Does that mean that people who had sweated at work all day long aren't allowed to take the bus home where they can shower? If so, they'd better install public shower cabins at every bus stop... 😛

Not a bad idea Hal...for MANY reasons! I've actually had to ban several people over the years from my laundromats due to this problem. When the odor forms a 10 foot+ "circle of death" around them, it's just too big a problem. They invariably call the police, who invariably know them because they're a bit "ill" (obviously, imo) or living in their car or whatever rather than a shelter, and they wander off to another laundromat like nomads, eventually circling back to mine in a year or so...sigh. :sowrong:

Q

BigJim · Apr 25, 2003

TKpervert said:
eh .. un-enforceable law. Talk about subjective testimony if one wants to fight it.

first witness: smelled like someone loaded their pants.
second witness: all I smelled was lilacs.
third witness: I smelled orange marmalade.
Judge: case dismissed.

You forgot the bit about the defence bringing in a scientific expert to demonstrate how the juxtaposition of various witnesses to the position of said odour's emantion point could have resulted in all different witness perceiving a different sensation through said witnesses olfactory gland in the comparison to the base resonance of the planet's................... *forty million tax dollars later*............... in short, he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about and no-one cares. In the meantime however the defendant has been sitting in the jury box for 9 months and is now stinking like a Turkish wrestler's jock-strap.

qjakal · Apr 25, 2003

Testimony...

Twenty minutes in the presence of one of these olfactory nightmares and you'd vote for a bath with a firehose for 'em right quick! Hard to believe you haven't run into a few juicy contenders in your line of work BJim... Q

BigJim · Apr 26, 2003

Re: Testimony...

qjakal said:
Twenty minutes in the presence of one of these olfactory nightmares and you'd vote for a bath with a firehose for 'em right quick! Hard to believe you haven't run into a few juicy contenders in your line of work BJim... Q

I have and when you come into contact with someone who hasn't washed or chenged their close for three months, it can be quite overpowering. It's like walking into a solid wall of smell, yanno? Imagine you're standing in someone's house and someone outside walks into the closed patio doors. That's what it's like. 😉

Worst one of all actually wasn't on duty, it was off duty when I was strolling thruogh Salisbury. (Next county over.) The guy stank like a sumo wrestler's nappy and every time he shook his head, we were blinded by flying dandruff.

Olfactory Outlaws....

qjakal

1st Level Indigo Feather

Limeoutsider

1st Level Green Feather

luv2bt&tickled

3rd Level Red Feather

Haltickling

2nd Level Green Feather

sole seeker

2nd Level Indigo Feather

TKpervert

1st Level Yellow Feather

venray

Level of Garnet Feather

maverick83

TMF Expert

His Divine Shadow

Administrator

qjakal

1st Level Indigo Feather

BigJim

Level of Cherry Feather

qjakal

1st Level Indigo Feather

BigJim

Level of Cherry Feather