This is suppossedly what one guy did to allieviate stress in his day to day life
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when
you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad
day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T
know!!!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a
phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please
speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't
believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down
Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last
two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still
lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a
jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd
answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always
cheer me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID.
This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop
calling the jackass.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard
his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the
sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to
see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called
him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to
show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you,
you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
[Keep reading, it gets better.]
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of
the parking pace. I didn't think she was ever going to
leave.Finally, her car began to move and she started to very
slowly back out of the slot.
I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull
out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking
isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do
that, Buddy. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He
walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot
of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale"
sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number.
Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I
had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and
yelling, "You're jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now
since I have his number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro
lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings someone answered the phone and
said,"Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro
for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house
and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed
dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me.
Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then,
after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on
them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a
solution: First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man
answered nicely saying,"Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black
Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying
your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass!"
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now
Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I
was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W.34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to
34th
Street
to watch the whole thing. Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking
the
crap
out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter
was
one
of
the greatest experiences of my life!
Name withheld to protect the guilty.
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when
you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't take that bad
day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T
know!!!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a
phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please
speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't
believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down
Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last
two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still
lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again.
When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a
jackass!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass," and
put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd
answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It would always
cheer me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID.
This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop
calling the jackass.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard
his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the
sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to
see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"
He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called
him back and said, "That's because you're a jackass!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to
show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you,
you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
[Keep reading, it gets better.]
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of
the parking pace. I didn't think she was ever going to
leave.Finally, her car began to move and she started to very
slowly back out of the slot.
I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull
out. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving.
All of a sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking
isle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just do
that, Buddy. I was here first!"
The guy climbed out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He
walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
I thought to myself, this guy's a jackass, there sure a lot
of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale"
sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number.
Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk. I
had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and
yelling, "You're jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now
since I have his number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Camaro
lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this guy, too.
After a couple rings someone answered the phone and
said,"Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black Camaro
for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house
and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.
After I hung up I added Don Hansen's number to my speed
dialer. For a while things seemed to be going better for me.
Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then,
after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on
them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a
solution: First, I had my phone dial Jackass #1. A man
answered nicely saying,"Hello."
I yelled "You're a jackass!", but I didn't hang up.
The jackass said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?"
1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black
Camaro's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying
your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jackass #2.
He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jackass!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass!"
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now
Jackass!" And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I
was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down W.34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to
34th
Street
to watch the whole thing. Glorious! Watching two Jackasses kicking
the
crap
out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter
was
one
of
the greatest experiences of my life!
Name withheld to protect the guilty.
Last edited:
