Hi! Lately I've been really interested in relationships that allow tickling with other people. Mostly because I love how much trust is involved in it and I'm wanting to make an OC who's in a relationship like that. I was wanting to ask some questions about it and hope it leads to some answers/discussion.
Hi! Up front, I'll say my wife and I don't think of ourselves as fitting into the open or poly categories, though we do rub up against the concepts in a few ways, so I thought I'd respond in case you or others happen to find it helpful. If not, please disregard. We are both ticklephiles and have been married for several years now. We occasionally pursue sessions with others, but only together as a couple. Including others is a way of, in our eyes, still preserving the sense of the sacredness of our relationship and things that are important to us, while being able to augment our experiences, share with others, and appreciate each other from new perspectives. So that being said, I'll get to answering your questions within that context:
How did you bring it up to your partner? Did you inform them on what kind of relationship you wanted before your relationship got serious? Or did you open up to them about it later on?
I forget
exactly how it came up, but both of us having an appreciation for tickling before even meeting each other (we met on the TMF) helped bring hypothetical fantasies into our early conversations, and so we just both agreed that it would be fun to pursue at some point. A few years into our marriage, we decided to start exploring the idea slowly and carefully.
Why do you enjoy it? Is it a humiliation thing or do you enjoy/encourage them to have fun with others?
No, for the most part, we both hate the humiliation thing. There are some elements of teasing that we like, but not at all what I think most people think of when they imagine humiliation kink stuff. A huge part of it for us is that we remember feeling and being alone with this kink. We have found it extremely rewarding to connect to certain like-minded members of the community. It's not the only important thing we need to share, but it is magical, for lack of a better word) to be able to connect with other people when you both know something extremely integral to, and intimate about, each other's essence. We often say that for us, tickling is a special language, and being able to speak with the right kind of people is a real joy.
Do you get a little jealous knowing someone else is probably a better tickler than you?
This is more grey than black and white. Like, I know I'm a pretty good tickler, generally speaking, so that lays a pretty good foundation for how I feel about it overall. But feelings of jealousy do affect both of us from time to time. It usually has less to do with someone being a better tickler, and more often just general sparks of jealousy that I think are healthy and just our minds' way of checking in to make sure things are as expected. There are definitely times where someone will tickle either of us better than we can tickle each other during that session. Usually this is less to do with pure skill on the part of the ler (not that skill is not involved), and more to do with the novelty, nervousness, unpredictability, and all that of the newer person. I will say we have a female friend who is overwhelmingly ler (we are both switches), and she overall is probably better at tickling than either of us, though we both do have an unfair advantage on each other, having specialized experience over years. But if she does a better job on one of us, it's more of, "Oh, of course, that checks out." She's really good at it!
What kind of boundaries/rules were discussed or were both of you free to do what you wanted?
There can be a lot of feeling it out as we go and checking in with each other. Feelings matter. Sessions are often sexually charged, but do not usually involve anything more than that sense of excitement. We do have a boundary of no full nudity or sexual stimulation by default. If we decide we are open to it later, then we'll discuss it then. When taking on a lee role, both of us will not be bound at the same time. My wife's safety and boundaries are of paramount priority, and that rule helps ensure she is protected. Also by default, we look for women to play with, rarely couples, and never just men. It just best suits what we're looking for.
Were you only allowed to tickle/be tickled by others? Or were both of you able to do so?
Both, but as I mentioned before, only together as a couple, not separately. Now, like, if our ler friend I mentioned earlier is hanging out with one of us alone (because she's a friend, not for a session), neither of us would be upset if there was a moment or two of playful tickling. But if either of us had a session with her behind the other's back, it would cause hurt feelings for sure.
Do you only play with couples? Can a single person play with you two?
We are the couple in this story lol. We prefer a single person, in part because we prefer smaller groups over larger ones, but we have played with a couple before and enjoyed ourselves immensely.
Was a specific gender only allowed to play with you two?
Like I said, it's mostly out of our preferences, but we strongly prefer females. But in rare cases a male-female couple is okay too.
Finally, lets say that the tickle sessions with other play partners can lead to sex. Assuming the other guy got a vasectomy, would people be okay with him having piv sex with your S/O while tickling her?
I don't fully understand the question. If you are making if I would be okay with a guy having sex with my wife in a session, the answer is no. Likewise, she would not be okay with me having sex with anyone during a session. That's not what we're looking for.
Hopefully this was helpful in some way. Take care!
🙂
