TheJacques
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- Oct 25, 2006
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OSIO’S HOUSE
At Osio’s House, the sisters ran everything. The projectors, the shutters, the popcorn stands, the ticket booth. Everything.
Tuesday, of an afternoon, a burly man in tan boots, a red plaid shirt, and a beaver cap stomped onto the doorstep and entered through the shimmering, nostalgic beads of Osio’s House. The sisters paused their duties and turned their pretty heads to the entering man.
“Omigod!” They shrieked with joy. “It’s Director Dan!”
One by one, the sisters hypnotically rushed from their stations and embraced the big man around his waist, feeling his journeyed heart thump against their silky-long hair.
“It is so good to see you again, Director Dan!”
“Do you have another movie for us?”
“What’s it called? What’s it called!”
Director Dan removed his beaver cap and presented to them a small canister of film.
“I call it… Impromptu.”
The sisters opened their mouths agape and squealed with many thoughts. After some more giggling, the waves of female parted for the big man and a lady entourage guided him to Theatre 1, where all new films were screened.
While some girls loaded up the projector, others sat around Director Dan and assailed his ears with curiosity.
“So, Director Dan…are you a big Hollywood director now?”
“Yeah, Director Dan…like you always said you’d be?”
“You’re not still in this dump...are you?”
Director Dan took a discomfited pause and said, with as much levity as he could muster, “I still have the gig down at the docks. They pay better this year.”
The sisters nodded while chewing their lips. Just then, some more sisters descended from the projector booth and whooped a thumbs-up.
“Okay! Let’s see Director Dan’s new film!”
The big man smiled a little easier now.
The room dimmed to a warm glow of inspired darkness. The dizzying stench of popcorn scraped the senses. The mammoth screen of Theater 1 crackled and flickered as the beginning credits began their roll.
“Impromptu…written and directed by Director Dan!” one of the sisters read out loud.
Director Dan gave a quick grin to her but then looked back to the screen.
“Omigod, I love this beginning music.” Another sister fawned.
“Isn’t this, like, classical music?” One of her sisters queried aloud.
“It’s, uh, The Moody Blues,” Director Dan hurriedly whispered, finding everything a bit desperate all of a sudden.
The film then faded up on the story.
“Omigod, you totally filmed this by the docks!”
“Yeah, that’s totally Ocean Beach! I read my mangas there everyday!”
“Nah, nah, see that oar, sis? That’s totally Shoreline Beach.”
“You’re both wrong!” Another sister triumphantly remarked. “He totally filmed this at Sea Beach.”
“Yeah? Was it? Was it, Director Dan? Sea Beach?”
He nodded curtly and uneasily, pointing just a little at the screen.
“Omigod!” the youngest sister shrilly bellowed at the tip-most-part of her lungs. “Stacey! That’s totally YOU on the screen."
“Oh yeah…so it is…I had forgotten…yeah, I totally helped you with that scene that one day, Director Dan. Oh, but I had no idea it was for this movie. I look so fat on camera!”
“Nuh-uh! You’re soooo pretty, sis. Omigod! What’s that? Are you holding a seashell?”
“Why is she looking at a seashell alluva sudden?”
“How come she doesn’t put it to her ear?”
“Good call, sis, I’d totally put that seashell to my ear.”
“Sizzlers!”
The sisters rollicked into a river of chuckles, reaching a decibel level that reminded them of the eighth grade.
“Omigod! Hold on, you guys just missed my big line.”
“Wait, who’s this new guy comin’ up to you? He looks hot.”
“Omigod! Director Dan…you got James Porter to be in this?”
“Nuh-uh! I didn’t know James was still around!”
“Oh…my…god, I would SO do him.”
“You’re such a slut – Whoa! Whoa, wait. Why’d he just stab her?"
“I dunno, she said something though.”
“What’d she say? What’d she say!”
“I dunno, hush up! Stacey, what did you say to him?”
“I honestly can’t remember.”
“Wow, James is so hot. I didn’t think he acted anymore. Isn’t he still working at Chile’s House?”
“Yeah, I saw him the other day, but isn’t he still dating what’s-her-name?”
“I think he is. Yeah, he so is.”
"Jerk."
“Omigod.”
“Wait, hold on, what? The film’s over.”
“Um…what just happened?”
“I didn’t get it.”
“Why’d he stab her?
"I am so confused."
“How long did this take to film?”
“Why a seashell?”
“What’s fin mean?”
Director Dan had left much earlier. He walked along the cold and rocky shore and huddled his fingers under his arms. He remembered California. He remembered what teachers told him he would be. He could hear the screams of delight coming from the colorful docks up ahead. None of those screams would ever know that it was he, Director Dan, who pulled the levers to make them scream so happily. None of those screams would ever be for him.
He could feel his heart stopping. His footsteps grew heavier and crumblier, until he fell apart into a million grains of sand, lapped up by the ocean, forgotten with his film.
The next day at Osio’s House, Steven Spielberg screened his new film, and the sisters had fuck-all to comment on anything.
At Osio’s House, the sisters ran everything. The projectors, the shutters, the popcorn stands, the ticket booth. Everything.
Tuesday, of an afternoon, a burly man in tan boots, a red plaid shirt, and a beaver cap stomped onto the doorstep and entered through the shimmering, nostalgic beads of Osio’s House. The sisters paused their duties and turned their pretty heads to the entering man.
“Omigod!” They shrieked with joy. “It’s Director Dan!”
One by one, the sisters hypnotically rushed from their stations and embraced the big man around his waist, feeling his journeyed heart thump against their silky-long hair.
“It is so good to see you again, Director Dan!”
“Do you have another movie for us?”
“What’s it called? What’s it called!”
Director Dan removed his beaver cap and presented to them a small canister of film.
“I call it… Impromptu.”
The sisters opened their mouths agape and squealed with many thoughts. After some more giggling, the waves of female parted for the big man and a lady entourage guided him to Theatre 1, where all new films were screened.
While some girls loaded up the projector, others sat around Director Dan and assailed his ears with curiosity.
“So, Director Dan…are you a big Hollywood director now?”
“Yeah, Director Dan…like you always said you’d be?”
“You’re not still in this dump...are you?”
Director Dan took a discomfited pause and said, with as much levity as he could muster, “I still have the gig down at the docks. They pay better this year.”
The sisters nodded while chewing their lips. Just then, some more sisters descended from the projector booth and whooped a thumbs-up.
“Okay! Let’s see Director Dan’s new film!”
The big man smiled a little easier now.
The room dimmed to a warm glow of inspired darkness. The dizzying stench of popcorn scraped the senses. The mammoth screen of Theater 1 crackled and flickered as the beginning credits began their roll.
“Impromptu…written and directed by Director Dan!” one of the sisters read out loud.
Director Dan gave a quick grin to her but then looked back to the screen.
“Omigod, I love this beginning music.” Another sister fawned.
“Isn’t this, like, classical music?” One of her sisters queried aloud.
“It’s, uh, The Moody Blues,” Director Dan hurriedly whispered, finding everything a bit desperate all of a sudden.
The film then faded up on the story.
“Omigod, you totally filmed this by the docks!”
“Yeah, that’s totally Ocean Beach! I read my mangas there everyday!”
“Nah, nah, see that oar, sis? That’s totally Shoreline Beach.”
“You’re both wrong!” Another sister triumphantly remarked. “He totally filmed this at Sea Beach.”
“Yeah? Was it? Was it, Director Dan? Sea Beach?”
He nodded curtly and uneasily, pointing just a little at the screen.
“Omigod!” the youngest sister shrilly bellowed at the tip-most-part of her lungs. “Stacey! That’s totally YOU on the screen."
“Oh yeah…so it is…I had forgotten…yeah, I totally helped you with that scene that one day, Director Dan. Oh, but I had no idea it was for this movie. I look so fat on camera!”
“Nuh-uh! You’re soooo pretty, sis. Omigod! What’s that? Are you holding a seashell?”
“Why is she looking at a seashell alluva sudden?”
“How come she doesn’t put it to her ear?”
“Good call, sis, I’d totally put that seashell to my ear.”
“Sizzlers!”
The sisters rollicked into a river of chuckles, reaching a decibel level that reminded them of the eighth grade.
“Omigod! Hold on, you guys just missed my big line.”
“Wait, who’s this new guy comin’ up to you? He looks hot.”
“Omigod! Director Dan…you got James Porter to be in this?”
“Nuh-uh! I didn’t know James was still around!”
“Oh…my…god, I would SO do him.”
“You’re such a slut – Whoa! Whoa, wait. Why’d he just stab her?"
“I dunno, she said something though.”
“What’d she say? What’d she say!”
“I dunno, hush up! Stacey, what did you say to him?”
“I honestly can’t remember.”
“Wow, James is so hot. I didn’t think he acted anymore. Isn’t he still working at Chile’s House?”
“Yeah, I saw him the other day, but isn’t he still dating what’s-her-name?”
“I think he is. Yeah, he so is.”
"Jerk."
“Omigod.”
“Wait, hold on, what? The film’s over.”
“Um…what just happened?”
“I didn’t get it.”
“Why’d he stab her?
"I am so confused."
“How long did this take to film?”
“Why a seashell?”
“What’s fin mean?”
Director Dan had left much earlier. He walked along the cold and rocky shore and huddled his fingers under his arms. He remembered California. He remembered what teachers told him he would be. He could hear the screams of delight coming from the colorful docks up ahead. None of those screams would ever know that it was he, Director Dan, who pulled the levers to make them scream so happily. None of those screams would ever be for him.
He could feel his heart stopping. His footsteps grew heavier and crumblier, until he fell apart into a million grains of sand, lapped up by the ocean, forgotten with his film.
The next day at Osio’s House, Steven Spielberg screened his new film, and the sisters had fuck-all to comment on anything.
