Dussicar
2nd Level Green Feather
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2003
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Considering the rediculous ideas that G.L. has come out with for his movies, I would like to present you with a taste of conversations about or to Lucas by his staff that I'm sure happened sooner or later.
1. (Consultant#21 to G.L.): "Uh...Mr.Lucas? I'm thinking that since this is a tense scene about troops slaughtering innocent male, female, and children Jedi, maybe we should axe the cream pie and marbles on the floor scene."
2. (Consultant#43 on the phone with G.L.): "Look, George, I'm sure your favourite band could be excellent for the movies soundtrack, but I've found this composer named John Williams and he sure seems to know his stuff."
(G.L. ON THE PHONE: garblegarble)
"Uh, well George, it's not that I don't like your band, it's just-"
(garblegarble)
"W-why would you want me to repeat after you?"
(garblegarble)
"Of course I want to keep my job!"
(garblegarble)
"Okay, I'll repeat what you tell me."
(garblegarble)
"George Lucas calls the shots."
(garblegarble)
"George knows exactly what to do."
(garblegarble)
"Uh..." *swallows hard* "The Village People are rising stars and have nowhere to go but up."
3. (consultant#63 to G.L. about a potential mis-casting problem): "I don't give a rats ass if you DO call the shots around here! So help me god, if I come in tomorrow and see Freddie Mercury in a white dress and hair buns on the side of his head, I fucking QUIT!"
4. (consultant#41): "George? Here's the problem. I'm seeing the phrase "naughty monkeys" entirely too many times in this script, okay?"
5. (Composer John Williams to G.L.): "No, mister Lucas, My orchestra does NOT have a slide whistle section. And with good reason."
6. (special effects engineer to consultant#87): "Look, all I was told was that if I didn't get these latex fart glands into every Ewok suit by noon today, I'd get fired."
7. (Three of the most frequently asked questions that Mark Hamil has responded to with "no comment")
1) "So, Mark. Now that Jedi has wrapped up, your other castmates are persuing some pretty big projects. What have you got cooking?"
2) "So, Mark. You've been pretty quiet about your projects that your probably taking on. Any reason why, or is it going to be a surprise?"
3) So, Mark. What was it like kissing Freddie Mercury in that Hoth scene?"
8. (consultant#15 to G.L. on the conceptualisation of Darth Vader in ANH): "Look, George. You can't dress a black guy in speedos and a tinfoil hat and expect people to take him seriously. What's more, is that you want kids to see this movie, right? Then you also can't have Obi wan Kenobi calling him the darkest muthafucka in the galaxy, either."
9. (consultant#66 to consultant#901): "Why the hell is he so fascinated with dressing chimpanzees up as people?"
10. (consultant#28 to G.L.): "Well, the space pimp idea seems okayyyyy, but I was thinking more along the lines of making his character into an administrator of, like, a gas mining colony or something."
11. (during a consultant meeting immediately prior to the production of Return of the Jedi): "Okay, why the fuck am I seeing pictures of his daughters Care Bears in this concept art?"
12. (consultant#398 reading dialogue from ANH's script over the phone to G.L.):
Aboard the millenium falcon:
Han: hahaha you farted hahaha.
Luke: hahaha no. YOU farted hahaha.
Ben: haha no. YOU farted hahaha.
Chewie: hahaha woof woof hahaha.
" I'm sorry, Mr. Lucas, but we're going to have to make a few more script changes."
1. (Consultant#21 to G.L.): "Uh...Mr.Lucas? I'm thinking that since this is a tense scene about troops slaughtering innocent male, female, and children Jedi, maybe we should axe the cream pie and marbles on the floor scene."
2. (Consultant#43 on the phone with G.L.): "Look, George, I'm sure your favourite band could be excellent for the movies soundtrack, but I've found this composer named John Williams and he sure seems to know his stuff."
(G.L. ON THE PHONE: garblegarble)
"Uh, well George, it's not that I don't like your band, it's just-"
(garblegarble)
"W-why would you want me to repeat after you?"
(garblegarble)
"Of course I want to keep my job!"
(garblegarble)
"Okay, I'll repeat what you tell me."
(garblegarble)
"George Lucas calls the shots."
(garblegarble)
"George knows exactly what to do."
(garblegarble)
"Uh..." *swallows hard* "The Village People are rising stars and have nowhere to go but up."
3. (consultant#63 to G.L. about a potential mis-casting problem): "I don't give a rats ass if you DO call the shots around here! So help me god, if I come in tomorrow and see Freddie Mercury in a white dress and hair buns on the side of his head, I fucking QUIT!"
4. (consultant#41): "George? Here's the problem. I'm seeing the phrase "naughty monkeys" entirely too many times in this script, okay?"
5. (Composer John Williams to G.L.): "No, mister Lucas, My orchestra does NOT have a slide whistle section. And with good reason."
6. (special effects engineer to consultant#87): "Look, all I was told was that if I didn't get these latex fart glands into every Ewok suit by noon today, I'd get fired."
7. (Three of the most frequently asked questions that Mark Hamil has responded to with "no comment")
1) "So, Mark. Now that Jedi has wrapped up, your other castmates are persuing some pretty big projects. What have you got cooking?"
2) "So, Mark. You've been pretty quiet about your projects that your probably taking on. Any reason why, or is it going to be a surprise?"
3) So, Mark. What was it like kissing Freddie Mercury in that Hoth scene?"
8. (consultant#15 to G.L. on the conceptualisation of Darth Vader in ANH): "Look, George. You can't dress a black guy in speedos and a tinfoil hat and expect people to take him seriously. What's more, is that you want kids to see this movie, right? Then you also can't have Obi wan Kenobi calling him the darkest muthafucka in the galaxy, either."
9. (consultant#66 to consultant#901): "Why the hell is he so fascinated with dressing chimpanzees up as people?"
10. (consultant#28 to G.L.): "Well, the space pimp idea seems okayyyyy, but I was thinking more along the lines of making his character into an administrator of, like, a gas mining colony or something."
11. (during a consultant meeting immediately prior to the production of Return of the Jedi): "Okay, why the fuck am I seeing pictures of his daughters Care Bears in this concept art?"
12. (consultant#398 reading dialogue from ANH's script over the phone to G.L.):
Aboard the millenium falcon:
Han: hahaha you farted hahaha.
Luke: hahaha no. YOU farted hahaha.
Ben: haha no. YOU farted hahaha.
Chewie: hahaha woof woof hahaha.
" I'm sorry, Mr. Lucas, but we're going to have to make a few more script changes."
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