Parents, do you allow toy weapons?

[TickleCrazy]

Inspired by the thread "unrestricted police interrogations..." and something steve said, I was wondering what parents' policies are regarding their kids playing with toy weapons.

[snip]if you took all the guns away (by magic) with in 1 week, you'd have a rash of drive by stabbings, or people being shoot with a bow and arrow! it's the people, not the tool that causes the crime.[snip]

When I was a new mom I believed that the presence of aggression toys & violent TV would spark aggression games. We banned that stuff from the house. My boys created their own aggression games anyway and simply built weapons out of Legos or K'nex or Zoob. After all, a knight must have a sword to kill the dragon and Skywalker must have a light saber. Now I don't encourage toy weapons but I don't withhold them either. It's just futile.

So parents, what's your policy on toy weapons?

 

[kandykisses]

Inspired by the thread "unrestricted police interrogations..." and something steve said, I was wondering what parents' policies are regarding their kids playing with toy weapons.When I was a new mom I believed that the presence of aggression toys & violent TV would spark aggression games. We banned that stuff from the house. My boys created their own aggression games anyway and simply built weapons out of Legos or K'nex or Zoob. After all, a knight must have a sword to kill the dragon and Skywalker must have a light saber. Now I don't encourage toy weapons but I don't withhold them either. It's just futile.

So parents, what's your policy on toy weapons?

A good question, Well I do not have children, but I do have an opinion. You just have to be a responcible parent and know who and where you children are at all times.Talk to you kids, teach them about safety, but I have know parents that do that and I also know of a child getting his Dad's gun out and playing Cowboys and Indians, thank God the gun was locked and not loaded! They always said "Oh my child knows better than to touch a gun or even play with one, yeah right, re-think that one! My Mom and Dad would not allow toy guns and such in our home, but we found ways around that. LOL we would use curtin rods, sticks and one time this boy next door found his Dad's sling shot! Ouch, beamed me right in the eye!This could open up and whole new can of worms. 🙂I would like to hear from others about this issue. Kandy

 

[primetime]

i dont think you can truly keep "toy" weapons from children. like was mentioned before, kids will find their way around it. you can ban all forms of violence from your home, such as toys, TV, etc, but unfortunately, kids have to go to school. they would learn aggression there. you just have to be responsible enough to teach them right from wrong, but it is up to the kid. either he/she will do what his/her parents say, or they will learn a difficult lesson...

 

[JoBelle]

This is a situation that I have seen from allllll sides.

I was taught at a young age about the importance of gun safety. My dad and brothers handled firearms regularly. (Competition shooting and police officer) I felt very certain that I could teach my son everything he needed to know. BUT....unlike me, he did not grow up seeing the rifles in a gun case. He didn't see the dead deer my dad brought home after hunting. He has not seen "dead is forever" put into practice. In consideration of those facts, I have decided that my best course of action is to limit toy guns in my home.

At given opportunities, I talk to him about them. I don't want them to be some taboo "forbidden fruit" that he needs to sneak about to find and play with. That's how kids get hurt. They wait till mom and dad are out of the house, then they sneak into the closet to have a little peek. We talk about police using guns to stop the "bad guys" and how soldiers use guns in war. We recently experienced the death of a pet that was hit by car. When I told him that guns can do that to people, his eyes grew wide and he went very quiet. (This is what he does when he's spooked by something.) I don't have toy guns in my house, but he still needs an education on what they are all about.

On the note of what kids do when they don't have toy guns....
He has plastic swords as I'm a fantasy freak. He slays dragons...and often the other knights.*ick* He builds cannons out of legos, and more than once a paper towel holder has become a gun. Kids aren't immune to the world, so they are going to play-act to gain some understanding on their level. When he is pretending he has a gun, we make sure he's chasing pretend bad guys...and we cut the play short.

This whole gun topic is also why I don't have video games in my home. Too easy to make the transition to the "Kiling for fun" mentality that has eroded the minds of so many folks. It gives me the creeps just thinking about the kind of people who enjoy that stuff.

Interesting topic.
Joby

 

[luv2bt&tickled]

Great topic and some great points made. I don't have any children but I have neices and nephews, and I know that this is a issue that all parents should talk to each other about. It is important and our children are our next generation.



My brother and his wife fight all the time on how to parent the kids, what they can and can not do or watch on TV. They can never agree on anything. Toy guns is one of the main battles! Damned if you do and damned if you don't! 😕 I bet Dr. Phil would have something to say about this issue.

 

[JPie1]

wow this post really hit home with me and is so appropriate to were I am with my son right now. I too set out to limit even forbid toy weapons in the house but I have a sister-in-law that works in an army base and a sister who is Navy. Right now he idolizes weapons to a point where I was getting a little nervous. I didn't know how to stop him. I realize now by talking to other mothers, his preschool teachers and seeing in these posts how children just imagine and pretend with these and not always a precurser to violent behavior. I still try to limit what he has and always discuss violence and the bang bang shoot um up is bad concept but he will use just about anything, a papertowel roll, a stick you name it. As far as his other toys I just explain if he points and makes noises at ANY living creature it goes away, so he will lose that toy. Now at least he doesn't point at people or the dog. Its so tough these days with everything on TV, school, etc. You just have to pay attention to your kids and point them and guide them to the right direction.


JPie

 

[venray]

Take away the toy weapon and my son makes one with blocks.....take away the blocks and he shoots the "pretend bad guys" with his finger....I will say what I have said in other threads..It is not what the kids watch or play with, but the way they are taught or not taught by the parents to discern between what is right and what is wrong or what is acceptable VS unacceptabe behavior. It's up to us to know our children and guide them down the right path.

Ven

 

[He-Man]

.

This whole gun topic is also why I don't have video games in my home. Too easy to make the transition to the "Kiling for fun" mentality that has eroded the minds of so many folks. It gives me the creeps just thinking about the kind of people who enjoy that stuff.

Just because some people do that in video games doesn't mean they're going to do that in real life. I've played games like Mortal Kombat since I was 12 and I have no desire to go out and try to rip people's heads off their spines. Same goes for my little brother. Of course, I'd never let him play anything like Grand Theft Auto 3.

I our dad and I make sure he knows the difference between fantasy and reality. It doesn't make games or tv any less exciting for him. He knows that if he jumps off a cliff, he's not gonna just make a big hole in the ground ,then hold up a sign that says "Ouch!" (like a certain Looney Tunes character) and he knows that if he accidentally shoots someone with a gun..well, he might never see them again...except at a cemetary.

His logic is " if it's on tv, it's not real ". (that applies to video games, too in his opinion. lol ) Guess my dad doesn't have to worry about him trying to pick up a sword and pretending his fighting Skeletor, eh? lol (not that my dad has any swords. lol )

Still, there's only so much stuff he's allowed to watch and play. 😉

 

[JoBelle]

Just because some people do that in video games doesn't mean they're going to do that in real life.

I never said they did. HOWEVER, I do hold issue with the fact that so many millions of dollars are shelled out in this country for kids to pretend to kill someone. *shrug* No one has ever been able to give me a logical argument as to why they want to play such games. Having not been given such, and the fact that I get the pure creeps when I think about people who play them....I'll keep them out of my home.

My son doesn't watch TV, play video games, or have toy guns. It's a house rule. Occasionally he can watch PBS or a movies, but I don't like seeing the influence that it has on him. My kid sees agressive things on television and he becomes overly aggressive. I SEE the affect. I dont like it. I'll be damned if he's going to be a teenager and his form of entertainment is killing a hooker on a video game. I think it's just sad. So, instead of toy guns (through video games or otherwise) I give him books, legos, cars, non-violent conmputer games, and he plays soccer....etc...and he's as normal as the rest of the kids. And he was reading at 4 years old. 😀


Video games seem to have taken the place of youth sports in this country. Grrr...yet another soapbox inssue. Just ranting a bit here...sorry I strayed a bit from topic. But, I think they tie in together.

Joby

 

[venray]

But eventually, Joby, he will be interacting with other kids who have been "exposed" to these other forms of "play" and he may not be as well armed as he might if he were exposed at home with your guidance added to the mix. when my son becomes aggressive I ask him what he is doing and why and explain to him that it may be acceotable to "play" that way at home pretending, but not when playing with other kids.

Ray

 

[Haltickling]

Maybe it was easier for me as I have only daughters, no sons. I guess boys are boys, their genetic inheritance is to fight or hunt since the very early days. That may be an old-fashioned view, but I think there's some truth in it. But Joby's post proved that even boys can be brought up without violent games and toys, without becoming sissys.

The crucial point is: My kids were brought up in a way that they didn't even WANT a toy weapon or killer game. Both my ex-wife and me were in the peace movement when we were young, and of course we TALKED about our views with our kids. Our TV set never became the center of our family. We watched documentaries about nature and history, and about wars, and we discussed this afterwards. Both my daughters (15+20) have turned out to be just as peaceful as we were, and I'm happy about that.

So it's moot to ban toy weapons from your house if the kids aren't given a good alternative, especially A LOT OF TIME!!

 

[Strelnikov]

REPUBLICANS have no problem with toy guns.

DEMOCRATS forbid their kids to have toy guns, so their kids have to shoot each other with dolls.

Like Hal, I have two girls. Mine are 22 and 10. Toy guns weren't an issue. The oldest never was much interested in guns, except when one of her boy friends went shooting with me. The youngest got a .22 rifle when she was 8 yrs old, and uses it under supervision.

Hal's right, though. Girls are less aggressive. His kids would likely have become peaceful citizens even if he hadn't been a politically active pacifist.

Joby, for once we disagree. Let the kid have a toy gun. If you don't, he'll just make one out of Legos, or borrow one from a buddy and play with it where you can't see him.

Strelnikov

 

[JoBelle]

As far as socially fitting in...

My kid comes home from school with things that I know I can't control. That's part of growing up. I don't ban him from pretending he's a power ranger killing the bad guys with ray guns any more than I ban him from talking about the soccer game that he and his classmates had in P.E. class. It's a part of his world. Like all kids, he won't always fit in perfectly. However, his home life is varied enough that he doesn't need a toy gun to make him more of a boy. He's "normal" and happy and this wihtout a toy gun at the ready! *GASP* 😛

Strel, yep, our first disagreement. 😉 I hold issue with this just because of the very thing you said. If he wants to play "guns," and the desire is there to pretend play it, he can build himself a lego gun, or he use another toy to be one. He's done it in the past, and likely he'll do it again. I don't think I need to encourage it though. He's never asked either. I suppose if we were in the toystore and he asked for one, I'd cave in like I do about most toy situations, but he's not expressed that interest. In the meantime, we'll stick to swords and magic wands, thanks.

Joby

 

[TickleCrazy]

Lots of interesting responses! Thanks.

For my kids it seems to be a whole lot more important what their playmates are doing than what they watch or what their toys or video games are. My kids don't normally get out of hand unless they're with kids that play rough. It doesn't take much to escalate. We're careful about picking friends.

If they meet wild kids in school, whether it the incident is fun or nasty we deal with it immediately through proper channels. NYC schools have a policy of "zero tolerance." This is at odds with the typical advice of well-meaning older people: "if someone starts with you pound him or you'll be his victim forever." It's very confusing for kids nowadays.

My 9-year-old just finished an assignment in which he had to write a Constitution for an imaginary country. He wrote, "people have a right to think, say and write anything they want." But he obviously knows people shouldn't be allowed to DO anything they want because he also wrote, "people have a right to a safe environment," and "guns not allowed except by permission of the Presi-king." I was relieved!

JoBelle, about the media... I don't approve, but my husband plays gorey computer games which the kids sometimes see. It raises their shock level and introduces ideas they wouldn't have thought of on their own, but contrary to my alarmist warnings, and just like He-Man said, it doesn't seem to be making them more aggressive in reality.

 

[Phineas]

strangely enough, my parents took a very hands-off approach to raising me. I was pretty much left on my own to figure things out for myself. While I wasn't allowed to see many rated R films until I was of proper age, my restrictions on toys or video games were basically nil. If I could afford it, I could have it. There were some wacky exceptions, like my mom taking utter offense to my collection of Bloom County books and secretly throwing several of them away (anybody got a copy of Billy & the Boingers Bootleg or Night of the Mary Kay Commandos they feel like parting with? 😡 ).

So while I have a very active and often violent imagination, I'm probably one of the least violent and most well-behaved folks you'll ever meet because I figured out right from wrong pretty easily. 'course, for some reason my educators felt the need to punish me mercilessly for the most minimal infractions while my peers got away with murder, but I digress.

anyway, I may or may not do the same should my wife and I decide to spawn. My father said to me once that if he saw that I was going down the wrong path, he'd take steps to correct it, otherwise I was allowed to do what I like. He knew that somehow I was bright enough to do my own thing and be responsible. Knowing what I know about today's kids, though, I'd probably not trust them farther than I could drop-kick them on Jupiter.