Always eager to please, m'lady!
As earnest thereof, here's the balance of my stuff from the Tickling City thread:
Catcher in the Rye details the career of a drunken baseball player...
Ivanhoe is about a Russian male prostitute...
The Count of Monte Cristo is a list of sandwiches...
Pride and Prejudice is the "P" volume of the encyclopedia...
Lorna Doone is filled with all sorts of cookie recipes...
Black Beauty is a Beyonce Knowles biography...
Moby Dick is a John "the Wad" Holmes biography...
Billy Budd is a marijuana manual...
The Mill on the Floss concerns well-honed dental ribbon...
Around the World in 80 Days is about 80 trips in a Leer Jet...
Smiley's People is a very, very happy story...
Bleak House is about cut-rate building projects...
Call of the Wild is about an umpire who recognizes only beanballs...
The Turn of the Screw is an architectural manual...
Childhood's End concerns pederasts...
Cycle of the Werewolf concerns the first werewolf to compete in the Tour de France...
The Green Mile is about an Irish real estate development...
Silent Spring is a mattress repair manual...
Mein Kampf is a training course for dyslexic coal diggers...
David Balfour is the biography of a novelty sex performer...
The Moonstone is about a guy who drops his drawers at rocks...
The First Men in the Moon details the beginnings of buggery...
The Hunchback of Notre Dame reveals a new college football position...
At Dawn We Slept relates the plight of men without alarm clocks...
Nicholas Nickleby didn't have five cents to his name...
Naked Lunch consists of cold cuts and no bread...
Jane Eyre made constant mistakes...
The Bottle Imp is the biography of Foster Brooks...
King Lear liked to ogle women...
Foundation's Edge is about a property boundary dispute...
The Lord of the Rings has a little shop downtown. No money down! No credit rating?... we don't care! The best prices on diamond solitaires! We won't be undersold! We will not be undersold!
Lord of the Flies: same thing, but they sell flies instead of rings...
A Farewell to Arms: the inspiring tale of a double amputee...
Ringworld Engineers details the factory process behind Lord of the Rings' major jewelry competitor...
Raptor Red is about traffic control in the prehistoric era...
Jurassic Park: what dinosaurs do with their vehicles after Raptor Red allows them to proceed...
1984 is the history of a long-ago era when not watching TV was illegal...
The Fall of the House of Usher relates a theater collapse...
The Damned Thing is a story about lake water...
The Moon is a Harsh Mistress: the tale of a mean dominatrix who likes to bare her ass...
The Case of Charles Dexter Ward concerns Mr. Ward's cache of hooch...
Tortilla Flat is a cook book about different food densities...
The Great Gatsby is a consumer guide which warns about middling-to-poor Gatsbys...
The Pit and the Pendulum is a sales brochure for long lasting deodorant...
Divine Comedy is one of the funniest things anyone could ever read...
House of the Seven Gables is about Clark's boyhood with his six brothers...
I, Robot was written by a machine...
West of Eden was written by a man without a compass...
Oedipus Rex, the story of a dog who dines on cats...
The Annals of Imperial Rome explains why the Caesars were all so hard-ass inflexible...
The Last of the Mohicans, and going at bargain prices! Buy now before it's too late!
Gone with the Wind details the declining dependence on fossil fuels...
A Study in Scarlet describes a beautifully appointed red workroom...
The Scarlet Letter: correspondence found in above-mentioned room...
Alice in Wonderland: Alice on PCP...
Through the Looking-Glass: Alice being clumsy while on PCP...
Peter Pan, filled with recipes for fried elf penis...
Frankenstein lists the components of a typical Bavarian supper...
Mansfield Park reveals what Jane ought to have done before that final ride...
Riders of the Purple Sage describes a western fad which favors plant conveyance over horses...
The Lenseman series is designed for oculists...
The Skylark series is useful to bird watchers...
The hero of The Merchant of Venice is a real estate agent...
John Carter of Mars is the story of a Red Planet resident who totes porta-potties...
Man and Superman is an exposé aimed at Clark Kent...
A Night to Remember is Guinevere's reminiscence concerning Lancelot...
All Creatures Great and Small marks the difference between a heavy lunch and a light one...
Twice-Told Tales didn't hold anyone's interest the first time around...
The Screwtape Letters consists of correspondence about fasteners...
Minority Report is a US census that excludes Caucasians...
Kiss Me Deadly has something to do with halitosis...
Lord Jim is a place for upper-crust Brits to exercise...
Lysistrata kills germs untouched by brushing alone...
The Mammoth Hunters is about really big guys with guns...
Breakfast at Tiffany's specializes in 24-karat vegetable omelets...
A Man For All Seasons tells the story of a chef who's mastered spices...
The Sum of All Fears features the most daunting numbers in the world to add together...
Forever Amber, the tale of a stuck traffic signal...
The Deer Slayer is a Christmas story about Santa Claus...
A Dog of Flanders tells about the ugliest woman in Belgium...
Mourning Becomes Electra explains why it took all night to fix the power lines...
Ah, Wilderness!:the opening sentiments of a mountain vacation...
The Iceman Cometh, the iceman delivereth the ice, the iceman moveth on to the next customer...
Paradise Lost: about the absence of gambling implements...
Paradise Regained... but I'm still rolling snake eyes!
Goodbye, Mr. Chips... I'm just no damn good at any of these Vagas games!
Voyage of the Beagle: the around-the-world adventures of a ship's mascot...
Voyage of the Space Beagle: same dog, on a trip to the moon...
Babbit is a cute new contraction for "bunny rabbit"...
A Brief History of Time reads nowhere near as lengthy as the actual event...
My World and Welcome to It: the treatise of a genial global-dictator...
The Postman Always Rings Twice, so answer the damn door, already!
The Hunt for Red October concerns a fox-stalking expedition scheduled for the same month as an economic depression...
Slaughterhouse-Five is a tough jazz combo...
A Clear and Present Danger relates the hazards of a neighbor-lady's housewarming gift, Jello Surprise...
The Communist Manifesto is a policy statement from folks who enjoy nature hikes...
Common Sense deals with run-of-the-mill pennies...
The Sun Also Rises is a cautionary tale aimed at moon worshippers...
Lady Windermere's Fan lists the sole member of The Lady Windermere Fan Club...
King John is the most opulent restroom you will ever see...
The Egg and I: a comprehensive catalogue of spheroidal objects...
Julius Caesar is a fast-food restaurant which serves orange-juice drinks and salad...
The Bells is a poem about southern ladies...
Descent into a Maelstrom deals with the dead-letter department in a Stockholm post office...
Beowulf describes a cove stuffed with drowned lechers...
The Hardy Boys were exercise nuts...
Nancy Drew was a graphics artist...
Harry Potter worked with clay...
The Holy Scriptures were left unprotected from bookworm...
Gunga Din describes the awful racket Gunga always makes...
The Charge of the Light Brigade concerns a group of weight-watchers living on credit...
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy is a career guide...
The Leatherstocking Tales chronicle Christmas in cattle country...
Moll Flanders is the story of a gangster's Dutch girlfriend...
Plains of Passage is an airline departure schedule...
Steppenwolf: the story of a lady's-man on the town...
Little Women: the restroom door with the skirted figure...
Little Men... on this door, the figure wears slacks...
The City in the Sea: San Francisco, after a 9.0...
Finnegan's Wake: what Finnegans do after a good night's rest...
The Three Musketeers are three prominent members of the Mickey Muss fan club...
Tom Sawyer: a guy who carves turkey meat...
Heart of Darkness warns about the dangers of over-ripe artichokes...
Rime of the Ancient Mariner describes maritime frost damage amongst the elderly...
The Outcasts of Poker Flat lists the people skinned alive in (and subsequently kicked out of) card games...
The Ox-bow Incident: a retail outlet specializing in neck-ties for cattle...
I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream describes dental adventures with a sloppy oral surgeon...
The Glass Teat is a study recommending baby formula over breast milk...
Seven Footprints to Satan: a seven-step program to help you start smoking...
Stranger in a Strange Land: the story of a lonely guy who never left home...
Damnation Alley is a bowling parlor renowned for its splits...
To Have and Have Not... alternate title: "Easy Come, Easy Go"...
The Andromeda Strain deals with the back spasms Perseus got from hefting his wife...
Winnie-the-Pooh is a story about a very special turd...
The Midwich Cuckoos examines clock production in England...
Typee is a typo for "teepee"...
Everyone in The Iliad was feeling poorly...
The folks in The Odyssey got better freeway milage than they did down-town...
