"Presence" After Death..

[Mitchell]

I wanted to put this in a seperate thread, as the thread about my mom's passing is already many pages long. I sincerely appreciate the support I've received. This topic, however, while using my family as an example, is a more general one regarding the situation after a loved one's passing.

When my maternal grandparents died, my mom had always discussed the idea of whether or not there was a "presence" after death, either in their homes, or in our home.

Both of my maternal grandparents died in the hospital. Yet, in 1989, after my maternal grandfather passed away... my mom told me that she used to feel his presence in our house in CT that we shared with my dad. I never felt it, maybe because I was at college most of the time, but this is what she told me.

When my maternal grandmother died in 1995, my mom told me she felt just the opposite, saying "I dont feel Grandma around us, I think she's happy to have passed away, and to be in Heaven. " This wouldnt surprise me, considering the fact that she could have lived, but pulled the plug on her kidney dialysis, thus ending her life.

I know that when she was still cohearant.. my mom clearly did not want to die. Sometimes she would be in great pain, usually with her stomach, and would say things like "Take me. I want it to be over. I cant stand the pain". Natural reaction for a cancer patient that was suffering.

On the other hand, she would start crying, saying "I dont want to die. I dont want to leave my son, and my sisters".

I've heard that if a person is ready to.. or wants to die.. they will rest in peace.. and not regret or feel sad about the idea of dying. Yet, if someone doesnt want to die.., they will fight it, and thus.. the "presence" idea.

My mom has been gone for eight days. I've only been home for three and a half days, as I was up in NY before then. I cant yet decide whether I feel her "presence" around me or not. All of the posessions that used to be hers, which are now mine, are in the apartment. However, as for whether I feel her presence, I'm not yet sure. Maybe I'm still grieving too much to think about it clearly.

Thoughts on the whole idea of whether a person's spriti/soul can be "present" amongst their loved ones, or the posessions they left behind after their death?

Mitch

 

[SantaFeSwitch]

Check out after-death communications (ADC) research by paranormal researchers. The field was inspired by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's first-hand experiences.

"It's estimated that 50-100 million Americans - 20-40% of the population of the United States - have had one or more ADC experiences" (Guggenheim 2005).

Including me...I have experienced it twice. If you talk to caretakers and hospice nurses they will tell you more first-hand accounts than you can shake a stick at.

Of course, those who have faith in scientific materialism (as I used to) are skeptics, their belief system just won't allow it...until they experience it themselves which usually causes a bad case of ontological insecurity: they have a crisis of faith in their scientism which is a catalyst to growing beyond it by transcending while including classical Newtonian science which is still largely applicable to the world of the terribly obvious. But until they experience such anomalies to the old paradigm they tend to defend classical science quite religiously though science is based on experience.

Peace and good luck.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

My mom's been gone over 4 years and I still feel her with me. I don't think of it as a negative thing or as her not being ready to go. In fact, she was more ready than anyone I've ever known. I see it more as wanting to remain with us in spirit to help us through those things we face after they're "gone". (I put gone in quotes because I don't consider her gone, except in body.) The body and the spirit are no longer together. The spirit is now free to do many things the body (and our humanity) kept it from doing. You've been there for your mom through all this. As I see it, she's now making sure that she's there for you. Talk to her. Embrace her presence. It's a good thing!

(Feel free to PM me if you'd like to get into it more.)

 

[Bugman]

Loved ones who have passed are always with us, even though we may not always feel it.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye.
​

 

[PiedPiper]

See what happens in your dreams, Mitch,..... that's how it has occurred for me.

 

[kurchatovium]

You know I watched this show Long Island Medium and normally I am quite skeptical of a lot of this stuff. I always love the way the Amazing Randi exposes fakes. This lady knows all sorts of detailed personal info though that she gets from loved ones that have passed on. Its really quite remarkable. I always believed in an afterlife but watching that show made me feel so good cause its like all your loved ones still are aware of you even though they have moved on to a another plane of existence.

 

[SantaFeSwitch]

See what happens in your dreams, Mitch,..... that's how it has occurred for me.

Yes, for me too...which makes sense since according to the esoteric spiritual traditions the soul is carried by the subtle body, the same subtle body that carries the dream state of consciousness which is why lucid dreaming is practice for the bardo realm.

 

[kis123]

See what happens in your dreams, Mitch,..... that's how it has occurred for me.

This is how my mother was coming to me for a long time. Now I only dream of her every now and then; I think she's a lot happier where she is now and definitely not suffering or in pain.

Now when the spouse died, that was another story that had me ready to be fitted for the tin foil hat (you guys in P&R get the joke ).

His last four years he ate healthy (actually was a vegetarian) but was a smoker with uncontrollable high BP. When he first died, I just felt numb as if this didn't really happen. You know, I'm really not at this hospital, he really wasn't that sick and he's not really gone. I had to get over that quickly as the hospital bills started pouring in and I had to work with Medicaid to get it done.

He comes to me every so often in an odd way; in the form of the smell of cigarette smoke. He did everything the docs told him to do but he never did stop smoking. Sometimes the smell is so strong that it almost chokes me. My daughter tells me she sees him at the end of her bed just watching and never opening his mouth. That freaks her out because she was the last person he spoke to before he got sick. And my son is regressing in behaviors that used to drive his dad crazy. I believe it's because my son probably sees/feels him too but doesn't really know how to express it so it turns into him acting out. If you can imagine a 26 year old with a mental age of about 14 regressing 10 years......let's just say it hasn't exactly been fun times these days.

If you want to know the truth, I really believe his spirit is still here and he's confused. Similar to "Ghost" or "Ghost Whisperer" where the spirit hasn't crossed over. I could be wrong about it, but it's really so darn weird.

Man, I've really digressed..........

Mitch it's been almost eight months for me and we're still going through; for you it's been eight days. You're still trying to get through a lot of stuff and anything can happen at this point. Give it time, she'll show up in a way that you would understand. It may be in a smell-my mother wore White Diamonds perfume like no one else I knew who wore it. It'll be 17 years now and I can still occasionally smell it. It can be something said to you that no one understood but you and her. It could be in a song that you knew she liked suddenly on the radio. Or something funny you both shared just popping up in your head. For awhile, it may be nothing at all, then the images, sounds, smells can literally overtake you. Everyone's experience is different but if you keep an open mind, you never know what may happen.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for everyone's thoughts and insight about this subject.

(Kis, it's actually been.. nine days.. and four hours.. but whose counting).


One family incident in regard to this issue.

I dont remember at what point it happened, but.. my mom told me that one night after my maternal grandfather's death, she felt him come to her in her dream. She said that his energy was so great and powerful, that she felt him squeeze her hand in her sleep. It was an experience that my mom said she will never forget.

The two other times that I've been in places where relatives lived when they died. I went to my paternal grandparents apartment after my grandfather died, even though he had died in the hospital. I was only 12, so it didnt leave an impression on me.

I was 25 when my maternal grandmother died. Shortly after her death, I stayed in her apartment for a night with my aunt, while we were sorting through my grandmother;s things and papers.

I still havent decided whether I can feel my mom's presence. All I know is that she lived here with me from May 20, 1999 until the early morning of Feb 13, 2012, when we left the apt to take her to the hospital. Almost 13 years is a long time, and I think that its probably not surprising, that I might feel her presence amongst the things she left behind.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

I just got off the phone with my aunt the astrologer. She told me that in her view, people's bodies die, but their spirit is all around us. My aunt said that even though my mom's body is passed away, her energy and spirit are still with her family, and she is watching us. I hope so. Most important, I hope that she is happy in heaven, and out of suffering. I hope that she can see good things happen to her family that she loved so much.

Mitch

 

[ticklemepls]

Depends on what you believe really. Long story short, my Dad died at home. My brother was there waiting for my mom a month or two later and was upstairs. Now my Dad used to smoke down in the basement. MY brother was going down the hallway and smelt cigg smoke, faintly like it was coming from downstairs. He paused, thinking it was slightly odd, then he heard what sounded like my Dad's voice, but mummbled. my brother immediately (given he's a paranormal hunter, the goofball) responded and said "Dad if thats you speak up I cant understand you" it went back and forth a few times like that until my brother heard "I love you son" and that was it.

Also caught on tape was my friend going to a medium, she wanted info about some of her family that had passed on. The woman was talking about dogs otuside a door, then goes on to say "your friends dad is here... a David? And someone else too- a William or Bill, a truck driver" (my uncle)... needless to say I wasnt with her at this event so she called me at work after. I've heard the tape and it STILL makes me cry. So yes, I believe they can be earthbound when they want to be.

 

[kopfhorer]

I myself have rejected the idea of The Afterlife partly because it's been used as a threat to control people or as an excuse to bomb clinics or fly airliners into crowded office buildings. I also believe very strongly in science, but...well, let's just say that I think I may have had a brush or two with the paranormal.

A neighbor's middle-aged son died recently. Went to sleep in front of the TV and didn't wake up. She's got his ashes in her living room, just a few doors down from my place. A few weeks after this guy's passing, I began to notice things falling onto the floor in my kitchen at random for no apparent reason, usually when I was in another room, as if someone was trying to (pardon the expression) spook me. Now, I'm a pretty shabby housekeeper so at first I wrote it off to that. But when the glass lid of a glass canning jar of spices broke clean in two just as I was opening it and a piece of plastic trim immediately afterward broke off the hood of my kitchen range for no apparent reason, I knew something was up. I have a cousin who recommended smudging the house with smoldering sage (a fairly simple procedure but don't try it unless you know how to do it safely and effectively). That seemed to do the trick.

And although it's only happened a few times over the years, I've also seen relatives, and even one now-deceased person who did me wrong when I was younger in my dreams (he asked me to forgive him. Not sure if I can).

On this plane of reality, the saddest moment of the year had to be climbing the stairs to a recently-deceased friend's apartment to help his family out, not only knowing he wasn't going to be there, but seeing all his possessions boxed up ready to be loaded into storage.



Mitch, you have my condolences once more.

 

[Mitchell]

kop, thank you for your condolences. I'm sorry about your neighbor's middle aged son, and your friend.

Mitch