disclaimer: PLEASE DONT TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY. it is something i just wanted to share, and i intended it to be outlandish.
hey people, here's a question for you. what if you were President of the United States? what would you do? myself and a few friends at work got this running gag amongst each other that i am the President and they are my cabinet. its all jokes of course, but the scary thing is what we would do if we were in office. now, of course if i was REALLY in office, i wouldnt half the stuff i joked about, but it is still fun. my foreign policy would be real simple. mess with us, you will glow in the dark. i am sick and tired of 3rd world countries talking sh*t about the U.S.. they burn our flags, they call us the "Great Satan" and they decide they always want to hurt innocent Americans. i would take the Reagan approach. remember Khadafi? he was the loudmouth back in the 80's who thought it was cool to insult the U.S.. Libya gets bombed into the next week, and you really dont hear from Khadafi anymore. Hussein would be a memory. other terrorists would be eradicated. countries turned into parking lots, or they would become State #51, #52, etc....
OR, i would pull out all aid, and demand they pay us back. there are LOTS of countries that owe us money. time to pay up, or you become a territory of the U.S. the only country i would let "slide" is Britain. they always side with us. no complaints, no hassles, just on our side. i love those guys. now France is a different story. they always complain. i like Paris, and French Fries and all, but dammit, if it wasnt for us, French citizens would still be speaking German. and that's another thing. how embarrasing is that when you are a "superpower" and you have to surrender in SIX MONTHS? when Hitler is "moonwalking" through the Arc De Triumph, that tells you something. but back to pulling aid. i could feed our OWN homeless with the stuff we send to other countries. so, if you are receiving US aid, i suggest you back us or otherwise you feed your own people. i find it hilarious when other countries bad mouth us, but they are wearing Nike's and eating Big Macs.....
basically the U.S. is "damned if they do" and "damned if we dont". we "interefere" in other countries business, we are criticized. if we "stay out of it", we're criticized. amazing isnt it?
as for domestic policies, first of all i would advocate a better health system. other countries have great health plans and benefits for their citizens and their economy isnt as strong as the U.S. what's up with that? when a poor parent cant buy medicine for their sick baby, that is sad. we spend millions of dollars for idiotic research, but we cant provide better health care? another thing is i would try to make it a law that if you are a complete idiot, off to jail you go. but then again, jails would even be more overcrowded. i know, if you bring a complete frivilous lawsuit to court, i mean a complete ridiculous lawsuit, the PLAINTIFF AND LAWYER goes to prison for wasting the courts time.
education would get a priority, which brings me back to the idiot law. i see no reason why kids cant receive a better education. i know sometimes the kids themselves are lazy, but they should be educated. why? less idiots.
domestic policies are tough. myself and my cabinet have been having a whale of a time coming up with some stuff. no wonder Presidents get OLD while in office. besides the parties we would throw in the White House (we are all single), we would make this country a better place. if anyone complains about what we are doing, we have this motto: "You elected us.... you knew that we had no real political background and you still voted for us...."
anyway people, those are my thoughts. do not take anything i wrote seriously because obviously if i was President, i would have to handle things differently than what i mentioned. that is just my gripes. so, if you were President, what would you do?
hey people, here's a question for you. what if you were President of the United States? what would you do? myself and a few friends at work got this running gag amongst each other that i am the President and they are my cabinet. its all jokes of course, but the scary thing is what we would do if we were in office. now, of course if i was REALLY in office, i wouldnt half the stuff i joked about, but it is still fun. my foreign policy would be real simple. mess with us, you will glow in the dark. i am sick and tired of 3rd world countries talking sh*t about the U.S.. they burn our flags, they call us the "Great Satan" and they decide they always want to hurt innocent Americans. i would take the Reagan approach. remember Khadafi? he was the loudmouth back in the 80's who thought it was cool to insult the U.S.. Libya gets bombed into the next week, and you really dont hear from Khadafi anymore. Hussein would be a memory. other terrorists would be eradicated. countries turned into parking lots, or they would become State #51, #52, etc....
OR, i would pull out all aid, and demand they pay us back. there are LOTS of countries that owe us money. time to pay up, or you become a territory of the U.S. the only country i would let "slide" is Britain. they always side with us. no complaints, no hassles, just on our side. i love those guys. now France is a different story. they always complain. i like Paris, and French Fries and all, but dammit, if it wasnt for us, French citizens would still be speaking German. and that's another thing. how embarrasing is that when you are a "superpower" and you have to surrender in SIX MONTHS? when Hitler is "moonwalking" through the Arc De Triumph, that tells you something. but back to pulling aid. i could feed our OWN homeless with the stuff we send to other countries. so, if you are receiving US aid, i suggest you back us or otherwise you feed your own people. i find it hilarious when other countries bad mouth us, but they are wearing Nike's and eating Big Macs.....
basically the U.S. is "damned if they do" and "damned if we dont". we "interefere" in other countries business, we are criticized. if we "stay out of it", we're criticized. amazing isnt it?
as for domestic policies, first of all i would advocate a better health system. other countries have great health plans and benefits for their citizens and their economy isnt as strong as the U.S. what's up with that? when a poor parent cant buy medicine for their sick baby, that is sad. we spend millions of dollars for idiotic research, but we cant provide better health care? another thing is i would try to make it a law that if you are a complete idiot, off to jail you go. but then again, jails would even be more overcrowded. i know, if you bring a complete frivilous lawsuit to court, i mean a complete ridiculous lawsuit, the PLAINTIFF AND LAWYER goes to prison for wasting the courts time.
education would get a priority, which brings me back to the idiot law. i see no reason why kids cant receive a better education. i know sometimes the kids themselves are lazy, but they should be educated. why? less idiots.
domestic policies are tough. myself and my cabinet have been having a whale of a time coming up with some stuff. no wonder Presidents get OLD while in office. besides the parties we would throw in the White House (we are all single), we would make this country a better place. if anyone complains about what we are doing, we have this motto: "You elected us.... you knew that we had no real political background and you still voted for us...."
anyway people, those are my thoughts. do not take anything i wrote seriously because obviously if i was President, i would have to handle things differently than what i mentioned. that is just my gripes. so, if you were President, what would you do?
Q
