R/L Tickling Meetings and Safety

njjen3953 · Sep 4, 2001

Hi All,
As many of you know, I do a lot of tickling sessions with people in the
community. I have ALWAYS used a screaning process that I thought was
thorough.

These are the steps that I take:

1) When approaced in chat, instant message or e-mail, i always like to set
time to talk online, where we will not be disturbed. This allows for
familiarity and to dicuss tickling styles and desires.

2) The next step is to talk on the phone. I WILL NOT meet anyone who refuses
to do this. You can usually get a better idea of the person when there is a
voice attached. DISCUSS LIMITS!!!! Make sure you are both clear as to what
eachother's limits are.

3) Get references. Ask people in the community that you know if they have
heard of or even met this person. For females, it is most comforting to know
that another female has had a positive experience with this person.

4) ALWAYS!!!!! meet in public. Go to a diner and have a meal or coffee. Talk
A LOT!!! Do not tell the person you are meeting what kind of car you drive.
Set it up that you meet INSIDE the place. AGAIN....DISCUSS LIMITS!!!. You can
never talk about this too much and if anyone complains about it, they do not
have your welfare in mind nor do they respect you. This is a BIG WARNING
SIGN.

5)Tell someone whom you trust that you are having this meeting and make sure
that you can contact them if something feels wrong.

6) If you decide to go and play that same day, make sure to drive yourself or
have a way to get home. Do not rely on the person you are meeting for
transportation. Motels are neutral places and best for safety and "not
allerting your neighbors" LOL

7) Do Not allow the tickler to restrain you right away. Start with some
playful tickling and measure your comfort. If after say, an hour, you feel
safe, then go for the restraints.

Finally, have fun. Hopefully this will lead to a lasting friendship, a long
term tickle partner and possibly more.

If anyone has anything to add, please feel free to do so. I am always open to
suggestions as it pertains to my well being and the well being of the
community.

Take Care,
Jen

qjakal · Sep 4, 2001

Suspicious Soul

Well....if you'd like a bit more of a safety net, I'd suggest arranging to be "beeped" during your session, with a prearranged seemingly innocent word meaning you're having a problem. This would give you a fairly sure "out" if things aren't going as well as you had hoped. If your top won't even let you speak on the phone briefly, even while restrained, I think that would be an indication of evil intent. Always be sure someone knows where and when you're having a session, and be sure to give them all the info you possess about the individual you're meeting, including a recent photo. This would be minimal...if you were my daughter I'd want you to have a remote radio in your tooth or something...lol. Q

dvnc · Sep 5, 2001

Saw this on Josie's list today too.

Like qjakal, I'd suggest setting up a safety a bit more stringently. #5 mentions this, but not the more common methods, found in the bdsm community, for arranging such.

Identify your safety person. This is the one you'll call to declare your situation. Plan to call them EITHER WAY. This person should know where you're going, when you're to call them, and when you expect to return to your home. They should know your partners name. One lady I used to know taught me to leave a written list of information in her bed, such that if she failed to call, her safety could direct police to check there immediately.

Yes, it sounds extreme. Terribly safe, though, and very easy to arrange.

Using certain phrases to indicate your situation are also wise. Arrange at least one casual-sounding phrase to indicate that all's well, and another to indicate that it's not. A simple one, like, "Oh, thanks for tapin' that for me," to indicate trouble (do remember to think up a show that's PLAYED RECENTLY. You get the idea, though. Just don't rely on how perceptive your friend may be. Make explicit messages clear, and have them know to call the police to extract you. The police appearing will solve most situations. Walk to 'em, and then when your "date" leaves, go home.

Yes, it sounds extremely cautious, but most of the time, it's trivial, and when it's not, it'll be a fine thing to have arranged. A safety that's informed, calls to the safety, calls to declare spontaneous location changes ("Gotta call my friend. Was gonna meet him."), and a followup when you come home are just easy and smart. Beats being surprised. That's one nasty surprise.

Such fun is why we meet in groups, in previously declared locations. Gatherings are a nice safe way of avoiding such. Munches are even better, as they're public (even if they do lack play).

Just think of how NOT to be surprised negatively. Surprise is highly overrated. Know your scene before playing your scene.

Jen, thanks for bringin' up the topic. It's a good one!

sirbeartotickle · Sep 6, 2001

about safety and R/T meetings

After all we have read and seen of the world in which we live in I agree to the most extreme measures a person can manage to protect themself. At this time my partner/sub is all I require unless talk resumes of a third playmate. We have talked of possibly meeting a third for tk fun and possibly more as we are in the "Lifestyle" (D/s).
Safety for everyone is a most important thought. If people can not understand that then they need not be involved at all. My hat is off to R/T safety (and fun, muhahaha).

SirBear

njjen3953 · Sep 7, 2001

Sir Bear...welcome back

I wonder if You and Your sub would be interested in a D/s couple to join Y/You. Master Pete and i are always looking to play with others that are in the D/s tickling scene.
Please let me know if Y/you are interested.

Thanks,
jen
Master Pete's tickle slave