Real life Country song titles (humor)

[guitman69]

1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
2. How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away?
3. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In Bed
4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye
5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself, Or Go Bowling
6. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
7. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
8. I Just Bought a Car From a Guy That Stole My Girl, but The Car
Don't Run; so I figure we Got An Even Deal
9. I Keep Forgetten' I Forgot About You
10. I Liked You Better, Before I Knew You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
12. I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
13. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
14. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here
15. Please Bypass this Heart?
16. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now
17. Mama Get a Hammer (There's a Fly On Papa's Head)
18. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
19. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him

 

[MadKalnod]

4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye

I've actually got this one on tape. I particularly like the line where he says "Get your tongue otta my mouth, there ain't no tellin' where it's been."

It's by Ray Stevens, the man behind such novelty tunes as "The Streak" and "Ahab the Arab", who is known more as a comedian than a country singer, so his intentions with this one might be...

wait for it...

Tongue in Cheek.

 

[guitman69]

 

[MadKalnod]

 

[Strelnikov]

Title 16 should read, "If I'd killed him when I met him, I'd be out of prison now." It's a real life quote from a battered wife who finally, after 15 years, motivated herself to grab her kids and run.

Strelnikov

 

[Dave2112]

"Don't Look Up My Dress Unless You Mean It"

"I Wanna Marry My Horse, But I Can't Afford a Bridal Suite"

"Get off me Dad, Yer Crushin' My Smokes"

"I Remember Fishin' with Uncle Dad."

"Queen of My Double-Wide Trailer"

"She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy"

Sadly, very sadly...those last two are real.

 

[Knightshade]

The Ultimate Country Song

My dog got ran over by my ol' pickup truck the mornin' that my wife left me so I got me some beers and went fishin' with my dad 'cause my momma's in prison and then I went out with the boys and got drunk on saturday night.

 

[Strelnikov]

What happens when you play a country song backward?

You get your wife back. You get your job back. You get your truck back. You sober up. And you get out of jail.

Strelnikov