FW: [Craigs List Savannah - apology]
> > To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
> >
> > I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket
> that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the
> knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my
> girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
> across this message. I'd like to apologize.
> >
> > I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew
> my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing
> the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that
> cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that
> Kimber 1911 . 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just
> picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful
> pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
> at your head, isn't it?
> >
> > I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
> walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown
> sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was
> even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes,
> cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you
> calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug
> us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
> "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
> explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some
> gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless
> guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the
> cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
> dumpster.
> >
> > I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
> They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know
> which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've
> only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
> don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
> make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
> with it. Oh well.
> >
> > So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough
> on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so
> I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've
> already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out.
> I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on
> the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
> powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you
> and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm
> hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
> life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this
> message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
> >
> > Peace!
> > - Alex
> > To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
> >
> > I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket
> that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the
> knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my
> girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
> across this message. I'd like to apologize.
> >
> > I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew
> my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing
> the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that
> cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that
> Kimber 1911 . 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just
> picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful
> pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed
> at your head, isn't it?
> >
> > I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
> walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown
> sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was
> even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes,
> cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you
> calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug
> us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
> "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
> explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some
> gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless
> guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the
> cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
> dumpster.
> >
> > I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
> They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know
> which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've
> only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
> don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
> haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
> make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
> with it. Oh well.
> >
> > So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough
> on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so
> I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've
> already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out.
> I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on
> the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or
> powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you
> and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm
> hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
> life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this
> message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
> >
> > Peace!
> > - Alex
