Reallyyy need some help and advice with this one please

[mjmw33]

alright well this whole tickling/foot fetish thing has really been starting to become a concern for me. I have found an amazing g/f but to be totally honest, our sexual relations mostly on my part isnt there because of this stuff. The like only real way i could get totally turned on is by tickling or feet. And i mean yea its fun in all but for this to be runing my sex life and stuff is a HUGE HUGE concern for me. This probably is happening to not only me, and other guys as well, and if it does speakk up about it. Every day now i try and think of a way to try and get rid of it or just fix it. You know what i mean, i what to be turned on by the way she looks, and her animate parts about her like ass and boobs and stuff. It seems kinda silly you konw that its gotta happen like this and i kinda dont like it anymore. I mean ive been trying mentally to help it out, and it seems as though my drive towards it is kinda lessening but i dont know, and still aint gettin the feelings i want towards her nicer attributes like her body and her boobs and stuff.

does anyone out there can help me wit hthis, maybe something mentally or some tips to help me over come this and feel like i want to actually be feeling. Is there any practices i could do to try and fix this problem?

ANYYYYY ADVICE wwill be greatlyyyyy appcreiated and please if you could respond

thakn you all take care

 

[Violetta]

The first question is, of course, have you talked to her about it? It sounds like you've got a caring relationship going on, and if that's the case, talking to her might be a good step in the right direction. I'm sure any number of us here are willing to help as much as we can, but help at home can be even more valuable.

 

[OriamRepus1]

Are you saying "normal" (when I say normal, I mean what the majority of people would consider normal, like intercourse and decapitation) sexual activities aren't sufficiant? That's not good. Sure, fetishes are nice. They add some spice to the whole thing, but when they become the ONLY thing that gets you off, then there is a problem. Mainly because, you'll have to limit yourself to fewer people, in a sexual aspect, because that's all you can find to satisfy you.

I don't know if there is some kind of "therapy" to bring back the charge of ordinary sexual activities or not, but in the mean time, try talking to her about it. Who knows? Maybe she will like it, and then you're problems will be solved. Even if she doesn't love it, I'm sure she's willing to be flexible. Maybe you can try out one of her fantasies in a bit of a "trade-off" if you will.

I don't mean to be all like "zomg fetish bad" with the therapy part, but it seemslike a more serious issue than just people liking tickling more than vanilla sex.

 

[mjmw33]

yea i see what you mean. Appreciate the help guys, and no i havent gotten to talk to her about it yet, and it just looks like that is what im going to have to do. Just this whole situation bothers me reallly bad, and it sucks it had to happen to me, i just really wish/wonder that there is something/someone out there that could help fix this problem around you know? ok well thanks for the comments take care

 

[David Tyler]

OK... here's some real world advice from someone who's been through this....

Indulge .. indulge .. indulge

In fact, to the point where it almost starts to bore you. Then you'll start to pay more attention to that nice ass or rack.

If you turn this into a big discussion, you might just weird her out. Be playful, be nice, and be loving. The problem probably isn't as much the fetish as it is the newness of being able to finally get this kind of play. You'll never lose your taste for it but you'll reach a satiation point and you'll be able to move on from there.

Been there done that.

 

[masterandticklee]

I've had the same problem as well. I find that when I don't indulge myself with the tickling/feet related material I notice that i'm more into the other parts of her body. An extreme example was after basic training which was approx 8 weeks long for me.... at the end I couldn't care less whether she had legs or not lol. By watching tickling vids and all the other good stuff you condition yourself to be aroused by only that sort of visual stimulation( weak plots and fake laughter ;o) only kidding). Exactly like patlov's dog...you see feet/tickling and you get aroused because you get off to it and thats what you're used too. Now you simply have to train yourself to be aroused by other things. It's all mental...your member doesn't know the difference. I recommend that you take a short hiatus from the tickling related visuals and anything sexual for a week. By the end of the week you'll feel better about the situation because you'll crave her...and not just her feet. It also helps if you work out and don't drink, this multplies the effect for me, till I feel like a caveman. Hope that helps, and my logic makes sense.
GQguy

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

I didn't know that you created this thread and then reposted it again asking for me specifically.

If you're reading this, mjmw33, and you still wish for me to handle this, this is to let you know that I've responded to your last PM that you sent (the intial one).

If you have not recieved the PM, post here and I'll type it again.

The servers were down recently, so its possible that my messege did not get through to you and you've been waiting for a response. If so, respond to this at your leisure, and we'll pick up where we left off.

 

[tkpatience]

Indulgence to boredom works for some, but it works off of 'Catharsis Theory.' Simplifying the notion for people who are not familiar with it:

Pornographic images and stimulai can work as a control valve for controlling sexual urges. EX: Watching tickling can satisfy your fetish wants and you'll be able to keep your sexual desire in check so you can perform everyday activities without obsessing about fetish.

It should be mentioned that there is no scientific research to prove or disprove the effectiveness of this theory. However, the unseen effects of catharsis is that it could seem like it's working when it's actually making the fetish worse through increased objectification of groups being preceived as the submissive group as well as increasing intervals to satiate the fetish/addiction.

Although I agree with CQguy on taking a break, there are ways in which medical professionals 'eliminate fetishes/addictions.'

My recommendation, which goes for everyone with the dilemma of "how to lose the fetish", seek treatment from a medical professional. It's the job of those people to save our lives, even if it is from ourselves. By medical professional, there are two types of professionals which i can think of:

1. Psychologist- tend to use discussion first, medications if necessary
2. Psychiatrist- tend to medicate the hell out of you until you're cured

A break is a great start, but if anyone is serious about losing the fetish or controlling it... Consult with your local medical professional.

My cent

 

[mjmw33]

OK... here's some real world advice from someone who's been through this....

Indulge .. indulge .. indulge

In fact, to the point where it almost starts to bore you. Then you'll start to pay more attention to that nice ass or rack.

If you turn this into a big discussion, you might just weird her out. Be playful, be nice, and be loving. The problem probably isn't as much the fetish as it is the newness of being able to finally get this kind of play. You'll never lose your taste for it but you'll reach a satiation point and you'll be able to move on from there.

Been there done that.

thanks alot man appreciate it

and for everone else, i appreciatie the help, really do, will have to try and act on this stuff. thanks all take care

 

[chickles_:)]

thanks alot man appreciate it

and for everone else, i appreciatie the help, really do, will have to try and act on this stuff. thanks all take care

Hiya mjmw! 🙂

I'm so sorry to hear about your difficulty with your g/f! 🙁

It sounds like you really like her and want to have a full meaningful relationship. Okay, i admit i don't know a whole lot on guy-sexuality but believe it or not i'm not sure talking with your g/f will be the best choice. It might tend to focus all her thoughts on you and she may misconstrue your natural fetish for a problem. That wouldn't be good for you.

May i suggest though that you definitely approach her on the positive side of the equation, as in, after having a sexual break like some of these guys have said, suggest some things you would like to try as alternatives.

One more thing. You really need to let go of your hang-up over this though. In the end if tickling is all you get off on, then yes you might, as one guy said, limit yourself. But that is not a bad thing. For instance,,, i really only like mild Indian dishes. I know that limits me but do i really want to suffer through the personal agony of forcing myself to eat the vindaloos?

Kindly, i say, 'No thank you.' And that's my choice.

In the end if tickling is all that does it for you. You're allowed to be there - so long as you accept the way it will affect your future relationship choices.
I hope this helps some.

May you find the way through to your true heart's desire. 🙂

Many blessings, mjmw, xoxo