Jawa
TMF Expert
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2007
- Messages
- 522
- Points
- 0
Hey all!
First off; As of July 24th, I am now 21! Get me a beer and a Ticklish hottie!!!
Secondly, I pre-ordered a bunch of new crap for my birthday; Freakazoid, Season 1, and Soul Calibur 4, Special Edition (With Tournament Kit, Art book, T-Shirt and exclusive content.)
Thirdly: Trekkies GTFO; This is a rant on Star-Wars... or not. you may like how I rip the Franchise a new asshole. And some reading disgression is advised. Also; again I was too lazy to find the 'one-minute rant' thread, or my usual Red-Hot Rant thread... sooo...
Finally: after reading, Feel free to discuss. and for all ticklers: look for Jane Ors and Sariss; Jane is an Asian Hottie that helps Kyle Katarn... and Sariss is a Dark-Jedi.
Now my rant is about perhaps the greatest FRANCHISE in history; Not the greatest SAGA in history. To clear things up, I Like starwars. Get that out of the way before any of the Padawan Lurkers decide to run me through with Lightsabers.
The biggest highlight of Soul Calibur 4 happens to be that Yoda and Darth-Vader are coming into the fight. I was, and still, am not thrilled about that, because it's as awkward as making Sonic a Lycanthrope or... My buddy Lance on Deviant-Art was talking about 'Sonic Versus the Dark Knight' , a game where the Blue baller is going up against an evil knight... Odd... they just announced this after the release of the movie THE DARK KNIGHT... Hmm... those people at Sega are evil-Geniouses.
But I am going on a wild tangent. There is a THIRD Character that is beig introduced as well. Lucasarts' new Franchising tool protagonist, "Darth Vader's Secret Apprentice," the central character of 'Star-Wars: The Force Unleashed'.
...
...
Like I said, I was a fan of the Greatest SAGA in history; Starwars... Just not the big monster on it's back in the form of crass exploitation and promotion... with the exception of the Legos.. of course...
Lucas-Arts, the Software division of George's 'Empire', was famous for MORE than Starwars games (among them Yoda-Stories, X-Wing, and it's sequel, TIE-Fighter) But they were also known for Indiana Jones (The Last Crusade and The Fate of Atlantis; Both adventure Games; Lots of puzzles.) and my favourite franchise: Monkey Island. Easily the greatest adventure game of all time. They were gonna make a MOVIE based on Monkey Island 3, did you know... Original feature; completeley animated... but that was canceled. Pisses me off. Probably because it wasn't... oh, I dunno... STAR-WARS.
And before I diss on all of the Star-Wars Games, Dark-Forces was one of my favourites; it was a F.P.S where you played as Kyle-Katarn, a mercenary for the Rebelion, sent on a mission to destroy the Empire's newest weapon; 'The Dark Trooper'
It played like Doom, only with the addition of a Jump and a Crouch Key. and the Cyber-Demon was the aforementioned Dark-Trooper. There was another game made with a similar engine called OUTLAWS... but that's a different shooter entireley. If you want more Western in your shooters; Outlaws is a good start. Then Call of Juarez... which has nothing to *DO* with Lucas-Arts.
So I grew up Blasting the shit out of Stormtroopers playing as Kyle Katarn. Jedi Knight Came out, and Kyle pretty much became the Chuck-Norris of the Star-Wars Universe. According to a character Guide I glimpsed at 'The Implications of what Kyle had done were staggering. He not only went on a secret mission to steal the Death-Star Plans, but also destroyed the Empire's Secret Weapon, the Dark Trooper, and shortly afterwards hunted and killed seven Dark Jedi led by a man named Jereck.'
... So what it All boils down to is that I am sick of Star-Wars Games, and other projects being derailed because of it (Sam and Max, which was picked up by a danish/dutch producer, as well as Full Throttle; Hell on Wheels... The voice actor for Ben, the Protagonist of Full Throttle Died... RIP. ) ... And In a fight; Kyle Katarn could beat the ever loving shit out of Vader's Secret Apprentice in a Light-Saber fight.
First off; As of July 24th, I am now 21! Get me a beer and a Ticklish hottie!!!
Secondly, I pre-ordered a bunch of new crap for my birthday; Freakazoid, Season 1, and Soul Calibur 4, Special Edition (With Tournament Kit, Art book, T-Shirt and exclusive content.)
Thirdly: Trekkies GTFO; This is a rant on Star-Wars... or not. you may like how I rip the Franchise a new asshole. And some reading disgression is advised. Also; again I was too lazy to find the 'one-minute rant' thread, or my usual Red-Hot Rant thread... sooo...
Finally: after reading, Feel free to discuss. and for all ticklers: look for Jane Ors and Sariss; Jane is an Asian Hottie that helps Kyle Katarn... and Sariss is a Dark-Jedi.
Now my rant is about perhaps the greatest FRANCHISE in history; Not the greatest SAGA in history. To clear things up, I Like starwars. Get that out of the way before any of the Padawan Lurkers decide to run me through with Lightsabers.
The biggest highlight of Soul Calibur 4 happens to be that Yoda and Darth-Vader are coming into the fight. I was, and still, am not thrilled about that, because it's as awkward as making Sonic a Lycanthrope or... My buddy Lance on Deviant-Art was talking about 'Sonic Versus the Dark Knight' , a game where the Blue baller is going up against an evil knight... Odd... they just announced this after the release of the movie THE DARK KNIGHT... Hmm... those people at Sega are evil-Geniouses.
But I am going on a wild tangent. There is a THIRD Character that is beig introduced as well. Lucasarts' new Franchising tool protagonist, "Darth Vader's Secret Apprentice," the central character of 'Star-Wars: The Force Unleashed'.
...
...
Like I said, I was a fan of the Greatest SAGA in history; Starwars... Just not the big monster on it's back in the form of crass exploitation and promotion... with the exception of the Legos.. of course...
Lucas-Arts, the Software division of George's 'Empire', was famous for MORE than Starwars games (among them Yoda-Stories, X-Wing, and it's sequel, TIE-Fighter) But they were also known for Indiana Jones (The Last Crusade and The Fate of Atlantis; Both adventure Games; Lots of puzzles.) and my favourite franchise: Monkey Island. Easily the greatest adventure game of all time. They were gonna make a MOVIE based on Monkey Island 3, did you know... Original feature; completeley animated... but that was canceled. Pisses me off. Probably because it wasn't... oh, I dunno... STAR-WARS.
And before I diss on all of the Star-Wars Games, Dark-Forces was one of my favourites; it was a F.P.S where you played as Kyle-Katarn, a mercenary for the Rebelion, sent on a mission to destroy the Empire's newest weapon; 'The Dark Trooper'
It played like Doom, only with the addition of a Jump and a Crouch Key. and the Cyber-Demon was the aforementioned Dark-Trooper. There was another game made with a similar engine called OUTLAWS... but that's a different shooter entireley. If you want more Western in your shooters; Outlaws is a good start. Then Call of Juarez... which has nothing to *DO* with Lucas-Arts.
So I grew up Blasting the shit out of Stormtroopers playing as Kyle Katarn. Jedi Knight Came out, and Kyle pretty much became the Chuck-Norris of the Star-Wars Universe. According to a character Guide I glimpsed at 'The Implications of what Kyle had done were staggering. He not only went on a secret mission to steal the Death-Star Plans, but also destroyed the Empire's Secret Weapon, the Dark Trooper, and shortly afterwards hunted and killed seven Dark Jedi led by a man named Jereck.'
... So what it All boils down to is that I am sick of Star-Wars Games, and other projects being derailed because of it (Sam and Max, which was picked up by a danish/dutch producer, as well as Full Throttle; Hell on Wheels... The voice actor for Ben, the Protagonist of Full Throttle Died... RIP. ) ... And In a fight; Kyle Katarn could beat the ever loving shit out of Vader's Secret Apprentice in a Light-Saber fight.
