relationship question

[HOLLYWOOD]

From time to time the hollywood brother has made threads based on what friends have asked of the hollywood brother. the hollywood brother has done this to get different points of views on a topic and it has been very interesting. Well the hollywood brother got a interesting one to post tonight. The names are being changed of course but the problem is real and is the same.

The problem is that a hollywood brother fan has been going out with this lady for 7 or 8 months now. When they first started going out both people were very lonlely and depressed. Right after they hooked up, both people were happy and claimed that they truly loved each other. As time went on in the begining both the woman and the man could not stand to be apart and always missed the other person. they lived for each other's touch and kisses and compaionship. Now we fast forward to the present time. The girl still acts like she is madly in love. She calls him almost daily to flirt and try to be cute. At first he loved this, now he hates it. also the gentleman has seemed to possibly fall out of love. The girl still tries to be sexy and dresses nice for him. The guy gets annoyed by it and thinks she is trying to hard and not being herself. The guy also does not seem to mind if he goes a week or two without seeing her. The worse part is that the guy has fun with her if they just hanging out, watching tv, going to a sporting event or a movie but otherwise he has little romantic interest anymore in her.

the questions are as follows:


a) did the guy fall out of love with her?

b) did he ever really love her or was it just form being alone so long that he attached to anything that he could?

c) should he dump her even if it will break her heart?

d) should he find a way to talk to her about it and if he does how does he do it without making her cry?

e) if he wants to keep the relationship going, how does he fall back in love like when they first met?


THe hollywood brother is not giving his thoughts on this yet but wants to see what all the members on this great forum think first

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

Paging Dr. Phil!! Paging Dr. Phil!!

*warning: Relationship Advice From A Divorced Dude* It Seems He Has Obviously Not Developed As Strong An Interest, Lust, Love For Her As She Has For Him. This Seems To Happen Sometimes To Often As Relationships Develop. Once The Initial "earth Stands Still'' Feeling Starts To Wane The Real Work In The Relationship Begins. Analyze The Relationship Using The Old Piece Of Paper With Pros On One Side And Cons On The Other. If The Paper Looks Like A Prison Movie, You Got Trouble. Ultimately Go With What's In Your Gut And Heart. Please Don't Lead Someone On Just Because You Don't Want To Be Alone Again. Of Course This High Road Is Easier To Take When You Are Already Alone. 🙂

 

[MistressValerie1]

B) I don't think he is truly in love with her but probably sees her as a platonic friend.

D) He needs to talk to her about their relationship right away so as not to lead her on and cause her more problems later.

E) Maybe if he spends more time with her he can fall in love with her (again?), but that will only work if there is still some romantic chemistry between them.

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

these are good thoughts on this. the one thing on this that confuses the hollywood brother is how could this guy be so into this girl and then just suddenly not be into her anymore?

 

[Betchass1]

the questions are as follows:


a) did the guy fall out of love with her?

b) did he ever really love her or was it just form being alone so long that he attached to anything that he could?

c) should he dump her even if it will break her heart?

d) should he find a way to talk to her about it and if he does how does he do it without making her cry?

e) if he wants to keep the relationship going, how does he fall back in love like when they first met?


THe hollywood brother is not giving his thoughts on this yet but wants to see what all the members on this great forum think first

Hard questions, Hollywood Brother. First off, it sounds like the thing they originally had in common was something negative: loneliness. If the thing a couple has in common is collecting DVDs, they will think of DVDs around each other. If it is bowling, they will think of bowling around each other. If it's loneliness or having been kicked around by the world...

The advice people always give teenagers really is good advice. You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be right for someone else. I believe it is always one's own responsibility to make the decisions that will make one's life better. Deciding to let someone else have a part in that is always a risk. Almost always necessary at some point, mind you, but still a risk just because it's something you can't control. Of course seeing that person will make one's day, but ideally one can come up with other things to do and work on when that person's not around.


a) did the guy fall out of love with her?
Whether he did or not, the feelings he had were from inside himself, and she brought them out; so they're his, and he is still capable of them.

b) did he ever really love her or was it just form being alone so long that he attached to anything that he could?
Of course being alone was a factor. If a different beautiful woman asks you out every day, you're just less likely to fall like that for any one. If you haven't seen a woman in 4 years, most any woman could elicit that.

c) should he dump her even if it will break her heart?
I don't know. If he is sure that the thing that would make him happy would be to end the romance for good, then, well, yes. It is unfortunate, but you can't keep those things from happening and you can't make the decisions that will make everyone happy, and you can't put someone else's happiness before your own if you're not in love. You can of course show respect while doing it. I have been told you always do it in person, never on the phone or letter or email or IM.

d) should he find a way to talk to her about it and if he does how does he do it without making her cry?
He should definitely let her know how he's feeling. Maybe instead of telling her what he doesn't like he could tell what he does like. Instead of saying it bugs him when she tries too hard, tell her how nice it is when things can be nice and relaxed between them or something?

e) if he wants to keep the relationship going, how does he fall back in love like when they first met?
Would he be doing that for himself or for her?

 

[HOLLYWOOD]

these are all good ideas. the hollywood brother is thinking that this friend of his needs to look depp down inside himself and try to remember what it was he first saw in her. Also the hollywood brother told him that he ought to think how he would feel if she were taken out of his life.