Relationships with Co-Workers?

[Biggles of 266]

Just tapping in to the rich vein of knowledge here on the 'Mef...

Is it a stoopid idea to go out with someone you work with? She's blonde, cute, funny and nice as hell... but if we break up, it'll suck having to work with her. I know how bad it can be to have reminders of your ex-girlfriend, so I can only imagine having her around you every day while you're trying to work.

What do you guys think? Worth a shot, or not worth the trouble?

Biggles

 

[4Pawz]

I have to admit, I try to stay away from "seeing" anyone I work with. But if you do have feelings for her, take it slow, but I think it is ok to go for it. If you take it real slow, and become friends, and keep things honest and open between the two of you, it could work. But you are right, it could complicate things if you have a nasty break up, so try to avoid such an event (I know, I know, easier said than done). But whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck 🙂

Pawz

 

[BigJim]

Biggles get in there! Every experience in life whether it's positive or negative teaches you something. If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger. Take it slow like 4pawz suggests, but don't hold back. Take a chance!

 

[amk714]

Take it slow, Biggles, be careful, and try to tickle her! Oh, and if it doesn't work out, change jobs. 😀

 

[Deleted member 2452]

do as i say, not as i did.

i had relationships with co-workers, in the past. they worked out well (thank the gods).
however i would advise against it to others, i think the odds are against it going smoothly, esp. in todays world.
steve

 

[milagros317]

Take it slow, Biggles, be careful, and try to tickle her! Oh, and if it doesn't work out, change jobs. 😀

I don't know what the law on sexual harrassment is like in Australia. Here in the U.S., if it doesn't work out and she files a complaint against you, then you may have to change jobs, whether you want to or not.

 

[BigJim]

I don't know what the law on sexual harrassment is like in Australia. Here in the U.S., if it doesn't work out and she files a complaint against you, then you may have to change jobs, whether you want to or not.

Australia isn't as litigacious as America, so it's very doubtful whether the idea would even occur to her. If she did and it went before an ozzy magistrate, he'd crack open a tinnie, wipe his arse on the petition and laugh his way to the beach.

 

[Biggles of 266]

thanks for the replies guys. I dunno what I'll do, probably wait and see what happens I guess.

Milagros raised another point about sexual harassment. At the moment, I'm the only guy working with about 10 or so girls my own age (yes, I know, but hating me doesn't make you right 😀 😀 😀). What's considered appropriate touching between a guy and a girl at work these days? They've often put their hand on my hip to move me out of their way when they walk past, that kinda thing, but I'm kinda scared about doing it back... a customer could easily see it and complain that the only guy working with all these girls is touching them. What do you reckon? Should I be more careful because of who I work with? If there were more guys working with me, would I be less likely to get in trouble?

Biggles

 

[MistressValerie]

US sexual harassment law is based on the "hostile workplace" standard, which generaly means that in the US, you would be safest as the only male employee, but only if you were not the supervisor of anyone there. Even then I would NOT recommend any romance at work in the US, because as Milargos points out, you would get into a lot of trouble if things didn't go well (as a practical matter, the male is always at fault under US law).

Since most foreign workplace harassment law is at least somewhat based on US law (Japan, for instance), my advice is that if you need to keep your job, avoid the romance.

Love and litigation,

 

[Bagelfather]

Dating in the work environment.

Simply put...

Don't dip your pen in the company inkwell!

Yes it is tempting, why is it so tempting...

1) You are both working at the same place. Although your jobs can be different there is a core basis for working there (unless you took this job, lied on your resume and need money badly, or she did, or you both did).

2)Most people try to be friendly at work. Friendliness of hey fellow co-worker help me out here, or what do you think of this... can be confused for "hey there you're cute, let's do it!"

3) You can get to know someone better and see if you like them if you are around them more. If you are around someone 8 or more hours a day that cements an interest a lot more quickly.

4) If you're a work a holic then you don't get out anyway.


If you two are in different departments, one isn't the other's boss, and there is little or no chance of that then dating might be okay. If you are with a large company of 4,000 employees and she works a 1/4 mile away and you met her at a company function... hey that's a LOT easier than the cube next to you.

I have seen a jealous boss come down hard on a coworker because he/she wanted to date that person.

We had a Customer Service manager dating an employee. It got very ugly (sparing details) and friendships that had formed fell apart and finger pointing came about as to who told Human Resources after the manager was fired. A year later there are people at the OTHER office who are still upset that this whole thing unraveled.

Stay friends... hey if she dates someone oh well... but also if she leaves the job and is single again, well you've kept in touch. Also she might be upset that you did ask her out. What if her standards are not to date other coworkers? What is your company's policy on dating in the company?

I didn't say it is an easy decision and no one advice will have all the answers. Just go out as friends and have fun. Who knows...

 

[BigJim]

Is it my imagination, or does litigacion and pointless PC shite get in the way of the important things in life these days?

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

Speaking from experience, it's generally not a good idea. But, it may come down to the type of job you have. If you're an executive, it could be risky. However, if your job entails asking customers, "Would you like fries with that?"...then it's not as big of an issue if you have to switch jobs.

 

[P50]

Biggles,

Do not do it.

Please do not attempt to date anyone whose paycheck originates where your paycheck originates.

You will most probably lose your job.

You will most probably never get the girl.

You will definitely harm your reputation long term.

And,,,,

The girl will most probably marry a guy who,,,

-1- wised up,
-2- left the company for another job,
-3- asked her out when she wouldn't be nervous about the job problems


So,,,,

-1- Wise up
-2- Get a different job
-3- Then ask the girl out.


(Old people like to help young people be successful)

 

[kurchatovium]

Don't let fear of sexual harrasment get in the way of a ptential relationship. I think that may have cost me it terms of a woman I fell love with the instant I met her. I think I acted to slow. Don't make the same mistake a job is just a job it is true love that is hard to find.

 

[BigJim]

Someone give Kurch the star prize!!!!!! Halliwhasname to Kurch for being one of the few with any spark of life left! Biggles job is one he's doing to get through uni, it's nothing executive and his employers are bible bashers of the most moronic sort anyway. Sorry to everyone who councelled against it for the best intentions, but if you pass this up Biggles, then you might as well go out and buy a pair of slippers, pipe and a Barry Mannilow CD.

Kurch! You damn straight brother! Step in the bar and let me buy you a beer! 😀

 

[kurchatovium]

Thanks BigJim. It been a long time since I have a had a good beer. Always liked beer more than wine anyway so I am likely to take you up on the beer offer. Anyway, like I said, I learned the hard way by waiting too long to tell this woman how much I loved her and she went off with another guy. Thats when I kicked myself in the ass. I don't even like this job why am I fighting so hard to keep it and I don't think I'll ever find a woman as sweet as the one that slipped by. So once again Biggles to hell with the job, and go for the lady. Merry Christmas to you BigJim and to you Biggles.

 

[HeBeGeeBee]

Before you accept that beer offer...

...consider the source. Those UK folks have a nasty habit of drinking WARM beer...

 

[kurchatovium]

A warm beer is better than no beer. I'll bring a frost mug though just to be safe.🙂

 

[BigJim]

Re: Before you accept that beer offer...

...consider the source. Those UK folks have a nasty habit of drinking WARM beer...

Depends on the circunmstnces. Imagine you've just come off the cricket field and are boiling hot and sweating all over. Nothing better than a cold beer to bring the temp down, right?

The again, imagine a night out on a pub crawl with some friends on a typical British night. (i.e. weather so cold that it makes your nuts chatter, never mind you teeth!) Nothing better than a warm beer to slug down quickly to get the "alcy glow" going. If it was cold you'd both end up with hypothermia and painful teeth!


Seriously though, where does this image of warm beer come from? Being someone who likes to slug beer back like a waterfall, I wish I could find more places that sold it. I can't find anywhere that sells it anything but icy cold. 🙁 Maybe HBGB is just one of those people who think that beatings and roastings still go on at British schools though.

 

[Biggles of 266]

relationships with non-existant co-workers never work out

irrelevant now anyway... she's gone to another job

 

[P50]

This is the time to approach her for a date.

Try the telephone.

Tell her that you avoided her because of the workplace.

Believe me, she will understand, and she will probably admire you all the more for it.

 

[kurchatovium]

I think P50 is right if you call her I think she will understand. Good luck Biggles.

 

[BigJim]

May the Farce be with you, you Aussie git!!! 😀