Well i am home from my classes today because i am sick, lets have a pity party for me! Anyways, i'm sitting here at my desk flipping through all of this tickling info and wondering if i will ever find a girl to share my interst with? Hmm, would posting my picture help? Yelling off my roof? Who knows. I guess that I may have come to the conclusion that this is not the place to meet a female pertner to tickle me and have some kind of meaningful relationship with. But thats cool because i love this place just the same. Guess i may put tickling on the back burner and just keep it as a minorinterst or try to rid myself of the kink i get out of it all together. Confusing, probably, i am on alot of drugs right now, need that chicken soup. Well thats my rant for now. See ya all around the forum...........
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Revelation i suppose.
- Thread starter chode
- Start date
Blackstar216
TMF Expert
- Joined
- May 2, 2001
- Messages
- 315
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Well dude,
I'll tell you this much. Yoru search for a partner probably shouldn't be based on tickling anyway. Think of her tickling interest as a BONUS rather than a necessity. There's a lot of love out there so don't blow it off over one particular kink. Trust me, when you really have the right woman, tickling isn't really on your mind when you look her in the eyes anyway.
I'll tell you this much. Yoru search for a partner probably shouldn't be based on tickling anyway. Think of her tickling interest as a BONUS rather than a necessity. There's a lot of love out there so don't blow it off over one particular kink. Trust me, when you really have the right woman, tickling isn't really on your mind when you look her in the eyes anyway.
Just my 2 cents...
You know when I first came online(back in 1994) and found A.S.F.T,
well I thought I was in heaven, and that I would meet some girl who was into tickling and whola instant satisfaction.
What I found was either the few outward women were far away from me or had no interest in meeting.
What I have found with this forum and the ones previous was to use them as spring boards for finding ways to tell a girl, that I was interested in about my thing for tickling, and to come to realize that I was not the only one with this thing for tickling.
I too have thought about putting tickling on the back burner but it always comes back around.
Actually, since coming to this forum especially, I have become more outgoing towards tickling. I don't mean just grabbing some girl at the office but if an oppurtunity presents itself, I act, I don't stare and sweat and babble.
Now for those who have met and in some cases married from joining the different forums, more power to you.
Anyway, there is my 2 cents, well maybe 3...
You know when I first came online(back in 1994) and found A.S.F.T,
well I thought I was in heaven, and that I would meet some girl who was into tickling and whola instant satisfaction.
What I found was either the few outward women were far away from me or had no interest in meeting.
What I have found with this forum and the ones previous was to use them as spring boards for finding ways to tell a girl, that I was interested in about my thing for tickling, and to come to realize that I was not the only one with this thing for tickling.
I too have thought about putting tickling on the back burner but it always comes back around.
Actually, since coming to this forum especially, I have become more outgoing towards tickling. I don't mean just grabbing some girl at the office but if an oppurtunity presents itself, I act, I don't stare and sweat and babble.
Now for those who have met and in some cases married from joining the different forums, more power to you.
Anyway, there is my 2 cents, well maybe 3...
Strelnikov
4th Level Red Feather
- Joined
- May 7, 2001
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- 1,812
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THE PURGE
"...try to rid myself of the kink, get out of it altogether."
Don't bother putting yourself thru the mental strain. As any of us older guys will tell you, it doesen't work. I don't know if this kink is hard-wired, or if it just seems that way because I've had it since I can remember. I do know that it's a fundamental part of who I am, and there's no "getting out of it."
There's a thread on this topic elsewhere in the Forum, I'm guessing early to mid June. Check it out.
Strelnikov
"...try to rid myself of the kink, get out of it altogether."
Don't bother putting yourself thru the mental strain. As any of us older guys will tell you, it doesen't work. I don't know if this kink is hard-wired, or if it just seems that way because I've had it since I can remember. I do know that it's a fundamental part of who I am, and there's no "getting out of it."
There's a thread on this topic elsewhere in the Forum, I'm guessing early to mid June. Check it out.
Strelnikov
just jumpin' in to agree wit' Strelnikov that this ain't "a habit you can kick". Not casually, anyway.
The question to ask yourself is whether you want to try to convert a vanilla lover to this kink, or whether you wish to look for the other qualities you enjoy from WITHIN this kink.
I've had a number of vanilla lovers. Most have been cool with the kink, but not all of them, certainly. These days, I just don't wish to stack things against the success of a relationship by setting myself up to a vanilla existence.
This is something that most of us have had, as an interest, since infancy. It's there. It ain't goin' away. Too many folks jump in whenever someone mentions goin' away or comin' back to believe that such is often successful.
The question to ask yourself is whether you want to try to convert a vanilla lover to this kink, or whether you wish to look for the other qualities you enjoy from WITHIN this kink.
I've had a number of vanilla lovers. Most have been cool with the kink, but not all of them, certainly. These days, I just don't wish to stack things against the success of a relationship by setting myself up to a vanilla existence.
This is something that most of us have had, as an interest, since infancy. It's there. It ain't goin' away. Too many folks jump in whenever someone mentions goin' away or comin' back to believe that such is often successful.
I agree that kink compatibility is nice, but it shouldn't be the primary focus of any relationship. I offer two examples from my experience to illustrate:
The only woman I can say that I truly loved absolutely adored tickling once I exposed her to it. She had recently gotten out of a long unpleasant (and possibly abusive, but I didn't pry if she wasn't ready to talk about it) marriage, and was delighted to have a means of expressing affection playfully, as well as having a harmless and gentle way to exert a dominant influence during intimacy. However, no matter how much enjoyment we both took from it, our relationship couldn't last because I was ten years her junior and in no position to support her and her two children. (The fact that she looked at me like a dog that's been shown a card trick whenever I made a Star Wars reference didn't help our non-sexual communication any either, but that was a minor detail) In the end, I encouraged to be with another man who was able to provide for her better than I ever could. That's what convinced me that I loved her, that I wanted what was best for her even if it meant that she wouldn't be with me anymore. I could have selfishly insisted upon still seeing her solely on the basis of our carnal compatibility, but that would hardly have been fair to her and especially not fair to her children. The moral of the story: Tickling alone does not true love make.
The last woman that I had a big stupid crush on positively hated to be tickled, and told me so in no uncertain terms that she would not be on the receiving end. (She seemed to get a charge out of tickling me in retaliation, though...) Even with that effectively removed as a potential source of commonality, that was not the reason I was so infatuated with her. I fell completely loopy for her because I could talk to her and she'd know what I was on about, since she was a Sci-Fi Geek (and proud of it) too. We could discuss Isaac Asimov or the X-Men without blank stares of incomprehension, which is what I get from most women. She was concerened enough about my well-being to challenge me to get out of my current unsatisying job, and go learn to do something more fulfilling that utilized the talents she saw in me (which I am still in the slow yet steady process of achieving). It didn't work out for a number of reasons, but we still talk on-line when her schedule permits. The moral of the story: When you find someone who understands you and cares about you, the fact that she doesn't share your fetish is way down the list of relevant concerns.
Also, finding a partner was the last thing on my mind when I joined the TMF. Truth be told, would you really want to be involved with someone who advertised themselves solely on the basis of their fetish? Defining yourself based upon a single aspect of your personality is rarely if ever healthy, but I'd much sooner choose my love of Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Comics/Gaming or my eclectic musical tastes (My CD rack has Metallica rubbing elbows with Yanni and the London Symphony) or even my Conservative politics to be the one thing people associate with me, rather than my "Cast of a Thousand Fetishes." If you let your sexuality dominate your life that way, you end up like Scott: Trying desperately to be rid of what you've allowed to become the focal point of your existence, feverishly embracing the first thing that promises to fill the resultant void, and eventually going to a tourist-trap in the ass-end of the Balkans to listen to a group of charlatans repeat vague and unimaginative "prophecies" and show you blurry photos of lens-flares in exchange for a nominal donation. (And I say that not to mock Scott, but out of the deepest pity for him.)
The only woman I can say that I truly loved absolutely adored tickling once I exposed her to it. She had recently gotten out of a long unpleasant (and possibly abusive, but I didn't pry if she wasn't ready to talk about it) marriage, and was delighted to have a means of expressing affection playfully, as well as having a harmless and gentle way to exert a dominant influence during intimacy. However, no matter how much enjoyment we both took from it, our relationship couldn't last because I was ten years her junior and in no position to support her and her two children. (The fact that she looked at me like a dog that's been shown a card trick whenever I made a Star Wars reference didn't help our non-sexual communication any either, but that was a minor detail) In the end, I encouraged to be with another man who was able to provide for her better than I ever could. That's what convinced me that I loved her, that I wanted what was best for her even if it meant that she wouldn't be with me anymore. I could have selfishly insisted upon still seeing her solely on the basis of our carnal compatibility, but that would hardly have been fair to her and especially not fair to her children. The moral of the story: Tickling alone does not true love make.
The last woman that I had a big stupid crush on positively hated to be tickled, and told me so in no uncertain terms that she would not be on the receiving end. (She seemed to get a charge out of tickling me in retaliation, though...) Even with that effectively removed as a potential source of commonality, that was not the reason I was so infatuated with her. I fell completely loopy for her because I could talk to her and she'd know what I was on about, since she was a Sci-Fi Geek (and proud of it) too. We could discuss Isaac Asimov or the X-Men without blank stares of incomprehension, which is what I get from most women. She was concerened enough about my well-being to challenge me to get out of my current unsatisying job, and go learn to do something more fulfilling that utilized the talents she saw in me (which I am still in the slow yet steady process of achieving). It didn't work out for a number of reasons, but we still talk on-line when her schedule permits. The moral of the story: When you find someone who understands you and cares about you, the fact that she doesn't share your fetish is way down the list of relevant concerns.
Also, finding a partner was the last thing on my mind when I joined the TMF. Truth be told, would you really want to be involved with someone who advertised themselves solely on the basis of their fetish? Defining yourself based upon a single aspect of your personality is rarely if ever healthy, but I'd much sooner choose my love of Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Comics/Gaming or my eclectic musical tastes (My CD rack has Metallica rubbing elbows with Yanni and the London Symphony) or even my Conservative politics to be the one thing people associate with me, rather than my "Cast of a Thousand Fetishes." If you let your sexuality dominate your life that way, you end up like Scott: Trying desperately to be rid of what you've allowed to become the focal point of your existence, feverishly embracing the first thing that promises to fill the resultant void, and eventually going to a tourist-trap in the ass-end of the Balkans to listen to a group of charlatans repeat vague and unimaginative "prophecies" and show you blurry photos of lens-flares in exchange for a nominal donation. (And I say that not to mock Scott, but out of the deepest pity for him.)
Capt. Spalding
TMF Regular
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2001
- Messages
- 212
- Points
- 0
Some threads are really worth unraveling...
I have nothing cogent to add, except:
Isn't it wonderful how certain topics seem to bring out truly
thoughtful, carefully expressed replies? To be frank, many of the
Forums threads, concerning this or that celebrity being tickled by
Howard Stern or whether one should use a No. 2 or No. 3 pencil when
tickling a redhead's knees (Trick question!! Everyone knows one uses a ballpoint pen!), are often barely worth the scanning, let alone
the effort of adding a reply.
But, bless us all, give us a sincere attempt to consider just why all of us gather here, and how this interest reflects on our lives and loves, and, sure enough, some of the best and most thoughtful writing
on the Forum comes out.
A tip of the hat to all, with maybe a extra flourish of the fedora
for Malkanod's extremely fine entry.
Oh, and, yes, I agree with the consensus that tickling is fine as
a part of one's life and relationships, and there's no need to punish
oneself for such an interest. However, when tickling is solely (OK, fellow foot folks! NOT that way...)determining one's value system, one's feeling towards others, and one's choice of partners, I say that
one needs to embrace a wider range of what life (and love) has to offer. Tickling's a wonderful part of life, but it shouldn't be the
be-all of anyone's life. (Unless, of course, there really IS a Kittletown, Max...)
I have nothing cogent to add, except:
Isn't it wonderful how certain topics seem to bring out truly
thoughtful, carefully expressed replies? To be frank, many of the
Forums threads, concerning this or that celebrity being tickled by
Howard Stern or whether one should use a No. 2 or No. 3 pencil when
tickling a redhead's knees (Trick question!! Everyone knows one uses a ballpoint pen!), are often barely worth the scanning, let alone
the effort of adding a reply.
But, bless us all, give us a sincere attempt to consider just why all of us gather here, and how this interest reflects on our lives and loves, and, sure enough, some of the best and most thoughtful writing
on the Forum comes out.
A tip of the hat to all, with maybe a extra flourish of the fedora
for Malkanod's extremely fine entry.
Oh, and, yes, I agree with the consensus that tickling is fine as
a part of one's life and relationships, and there's no need to punish
oneself for such an interest. However, when tickling is solely (OK, fellow foot folks! NOT that way...)determining one's value system, one's feeling towards others, and one's choice of partners, I say that
one needs to embrace a wider range of what life (and love) has to offer. Tickling's a wonderful part of life, but it shouldn't be the
be-all of anyone's life. (Unless, of course, there really IS a Kittletown, Max...)
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