The Good Guys embarked on their next road trip. It was a road trip that did not go well. The team went only three and six, dropping two of three games at each stop of a New York, Atlanta, and Houston road trip. They returned home, on a Sunday night, to begin a nine game homestand, against the teams from the center of the country.
While Mitch was away on the road trip, mounting troubles began to surface. Mitch had made a couple of controversial statements to the media, and posted in his personal column on the team blog, about the Good Guys having a lack of heart, and not playing with the fire of the previous Good Guy teams that had won the World Series. In fact, most of the personal was the same, but, while Elmont had proven to be a more than capable manager, with his winning seasons thus far, he didnt seem to posesss the "Kick you in the ass" fire, that Lee Sniderman, who was now sitting in the front office did. When Mitch, as team captain, who was always supportive, and never ripped his teammates in print, or in the clubhouse, suggested that the team needed to play with more fire, to have an October celebration that year, he was met with tremendous backlash from his teammates, many of whom suggested he was just a "Washed up old man, on the downside of his career, who management felt sorry for, and kept as team captain, for nostalgia". In fact, a negative exchange occurred between Mitch and some of his teammates in both the newspapers, and on the team blog. Mitch and Naomi had an instant message session one night while he was in Atlanta, and Mitch asked Naomi to please read the comments posted on the blog, and the newspaper website, and give him input to the situation. Naomi proceeded to read the blog, and then told her husband that he was the one who had instigated the problem, and that he had basically asked for the trouble. Mitch was livid, and felt unsupported by his wife, and like he was being ganged up on, and attacked from all sides. He ended the instant message section in an angry manner, saying to Naomi: "Fuck it all, maybe I'll give up the goddamn team after this year, and I'll give you up, too, and find myself a woman who isnt into this, and get out of tickling, and baseball all together!" Mitch was digging himself a very, very, deep hole, one he was not likely to emerge from soon.
When Mitch arrived home on Sunday night, he was met by a steaming Naomi, who lit into him the minute she saw him: "How dare you threaten me with leaving me because I dont agree with you! How dare you, you bastard! You want out so badly? There's the door! Pack your bags, and get the fuck out of here, and out of my life! You are such a spoiled baby, Mitchell. You have always gotten everything you want. Now, you practically ask to be flogged by your teammates, with your stupid public rants, and because I dont say to you: "Yes, baby, I love you, and support you, no matter what" you are going to fucking divorce me? You dont know what an unsupportive wife is, Mitchell. I have spent over twenty years putting up with your shit. I have raised your three kids who are now in adult hood. I've been your tickle girl, your fucktoy, your foot sniffee lady, your ladder girl, and your slave. I have had no fucking career because of you. I dont regret any of that, not in the least, because I loved you, Mitchell. I've loved you since I was a young girl, only 18 years old, from the minute I saw you. How dare you call me unsupportive, because I dont agree with your stupid rants. How dare you, you fucking bastard, how fucking dare you!" Naomi said, her voice rising into a scream. "I' m out of here. I dont have to listen to this!" Mitch shot back. "You had better stay, Mitchell. I swear to fucking God, if you walk out that door, I'm changing the locks, and filing for divorce in the morning. I've fucking had it with you!" Naomi screamed. Mitch went to the couch, and sat silently, and said nothing, as Naomi, shaking with rage, and tears rolling down her face, stood near the sofa. "I hate you" Naomi seethed, saying the words infatically, in a gentle whisper. Then she continued: "You sports heroes. You are all a bunch of spoiled babies. You play three hours a night, and earn millions of dollars a year. You have never worked a full day in your life, Mitchell, a real day. You get free food on the road, and free drinks, and a free hotel room. Everything fucking handed to you on a freaking silver platter, all for fucking hitting a baseball over a fence, or catching a ball, or pitching a few pitches. Hayden earns over a million dollars a year, to pitch one inning a night, a few times a week. God, all of you are such spoiled brats, it makes me sick. Grow the fuck up, Mitchell. You are a man close to forty years old, and you act like a big fucking baby. You dont get along with your teammates, or you dont like what is said about you, or to you, on a baseball, or tickling, website, or message board, AWWWWW! How about having some real fucking problems, Mitchell? You have your health, and three beautiful grown kids, and a wife who has given up her life for you. Stop fucking being a martyr. I'm sick of it. I swear to God. If something like this ever happens again, so help me, I'm kicking you the fuck out that door, forever, even if it kills me. Now, go to the guest room, and do not touch me, or talk to me, this whole homestand. I'm not throwing you out,.. yet, but dont you dare push my buttons, or else!" Naomi said, in a low voice of fury. Mitch, knowing he was not in a strong position to argue, meekly complied. He was not headed for a good week, and it would likely only get worse.
The next night, when Mitch got to the ballpark, to join the team for the game against Pittsburgh, he was met with cold stares in the clubhouse from his teammates. Lee Sniderman and Elmont Koehler said nothing to him. After Kate Hudson got the Pirates out in the first, and the first two batters had come to the plate, Mitch took his turn at bat, and was met with a chorus of boos by the sellout crowd. Mitch didnt endear himself to them any by striking out on three pitches, earning more catcalls. Paradise got only one run that night, but Kate Hudson pitched a complete game, two hit shutout, for a 1-0 Good Guy win. After the game, the media closed in on Mitch, for clarification of the situation. Mitch didnt comment, as he didnt want to make the situation worse. Naomi, who was fully dressed, came out of the girls locker room, and shot him a cold, deadly stare. The next night, the problems started early, as Mitch heard it from the crowd, from the minute his name was announced in the lineup. Naomi, who was sitting in the bullpen, began to heckle him, as he took his position for the first inning: "You hear that, Mitchell? You are the most hated man on Paradise Island. They all despise you. Listen to that? That's all you're going to be hearing the rest of your pathtetic, miserable career" Naomi heckled. Naomi continued to heckle, until the first base umpire went down to the bullpen between innings, and warned the Aussie pitcher to shut her mouth, or she would be ejected from the game. Naomi quieted down, but, when the umpire was not watching, proceeded to shoot sunflower seeds, with a slingshot, at Mitch's back, hitting him several times in the back. Between innings, Mitch turned around,and yelled at Naomi: "If you hate me so fucking much, why dont you just divorce me then? Go for it, big lady! Let's see how fucking great you are without me!" Mitch shouted. The ump, who had heard enough, proceeded to eject both Mitch and Naomi from the game, earning them both a round of boos, as they left the field. Clearly, the troubles were deepening. Meanwhile, on the field, luckily for the Good Guys, Gil Bellows had a solid outing, allowing only one run in eight innings, in what would be a 2-1 win for Paradise. In the postgame clubhouse, Elmont and Lee tore into both Mitch and Naomi: "Okay, you two, enough is fucking enough. Whatever you want to do to each other off field is one thing, but when it disrupts this team's games, it is our business. Any more public outbursts by either one of you, and you are both suspended, without pay, for the rest of this fucking homestand, got it? Either kiss and make up, and love each other, or dont fucking talk to each other. I've had it with both of you, and this childishness!" Sniderman said, firmly. Charlize Theron pitched the next night, losing a 4-1 decision, in a game that was quiet for Mitch and Naomi.
Thursday was an off day. That day, the couple decided to skip counesling, and instead spend the day at the casino, away from each other.
Chicago came to town on Friday night. Neve Campbell was the starter, and pitched a good game, allowing two runs in eight innings, in a 3-2 win. Rachel Leigh Cook took a 5-0 bomb on Saturday night. The Good Guys scored early and often for Kate Hudson on Sunday afternoon, a sunny, bright, 87 degree day, in front of the usual Sunday sellout of over 50,000. Paradise got six first nning runs, and never looked back, as Kate pitched eight innings, allowing two runs, in what would be a 6-2 victory.
St Louis entered Paradise on Monday night, for the last game of the homestand. Gil Bellows pitched on Monday, and was shut out, 3-0. Charlize took the ball on Tuesday, and didnt fare any better, losing 5-1. Neve Campbell had the ball, on a sunny, hot, humid, 88 degree Paradise Wednesday afternoon, in front of a sellout, as the Good Guys tried to avoid the sweep. Neve kept the team in the game, allowing three runs in six innings. The game was tied, 3-3 in the eighth, when Paradise pushed across the go ahead run. After Hayden spit up the lead in the ninth, earning a round of boos, Ed Burns came to the plate in the bottom of the ninth, and put a dramatic end to the homestand, with a long homer, to give Paradise a 5-4 win, that also ended a five and four homestand. Clearly, the team was far from at their best, and was just treading water, and Mitch and Naomi were in serious trouble. As the team packed to head to Pittsburgh the next night, it remained to be seen if they could turn the corner.
In the meantime, the team held its Saturday tickle party, following the loss to the Cubs. The featured lee would be actress Salma Hayek, who had starred with Good Guy pitcher Neve Campbell in the movie "54", and was in Paradise that week, on vacation, and had attended some Good Guy games. Salma was tied hands and feet to the bed, in the middle of the fetish club, in a bikini. Second baseman Russell began the tickle on Salma's neck with fingers, as the giggles began:HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHE! Working down, Center Fielder Burns was next, tickling Salma on her underarms, sides, ribs, and belly with fingers, as she thrashed:HEHEHEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE!
Moving down, left fielder Dawson was the next ler, attacking Salma on her hips, inner thighs, and knees with fingers, as she bucked:HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! NOOOOOOO! Finally, Mitch positioned himself at Salma's bare feet, and tickled them with fingers, feathers, ice, and electric toothbrushes. Salma went beserk, wiggling her toes every which way, and begging for mercy:HEHEHHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEE! OMG PLEASE NO MORE! I GIVE UP! NOOOOO! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE! Finally, the tickle ended, and Salma was untied.
On Thursday evening, Mitch was packed to head on the team flight to Pittsburgh:" If you think I'm taking you, you're dreaming" Naomi said. "I know you're not taking me" Mitch said, and then proceeded to call a cab. "Will you be here when I get back?" Mitch asked. "Did I say I wasnt going to be here when you got back? Do you want me not to be here when you get back" Naomi pressed. "No to both questions" Mitch replied. "Okay, then shut the hell up. I will be here when you get back" Naomi snapped. Mitch nodded, and took his suitcase, and headed out the door, to the cab, to the airport.
So ended a homestand that was a real mess on every front. Now the couple would be away from one another for ten days. Would the time away calm the situation down, or would there be further deterioration? Those answers to come in the continuing story of the Tickle Team From Paradise Island.
The End
While Mitch was away on the road trip, mounting troubles began to surface. Mitch had made a couple of controversial statements to the media, and posted in his personal column on the team blog, about the Good Guys having a lack of heart, and not playing with the fire of the previous Good Guy teams that had won the World Series. In fact, most of the personal was the same, but, while Elmont had proven to be a more than capable manager, with his winning seasons thus far, he didnt seem to posesss the "Kick you in the ass" fire, that Lee Sniderman, who was now sitting in the front office did. When Mitch, as team captain, who was always supportive, and never ripped his teammates in print, or in the clubhouse, suggested that the team needed to play with more fire, to have an October celebration that year, he was met with tremendous backlash from his teammates, many of whom suggested he was just a "Washed up old man, on the downside of his career, who management felt sorry for, and kept as team captain, for nostalgia". In fact, a negative exchange occurred between Mitch and some of his teammates in both the newspapers, and on the team blog. Mitch and Naomi had an instant message session one night while he was in Atlanta, and Mitch asked Naomi to please read the comments posted on the blog, and the newspaper website, and give him input to the situation. Naomi proceeded to read the blog, and then told her husband that he was the one who had instigated the problem, and that he had basically asked for the trouble. Mitch was livid, and felt unsupported by his wife, and like he was being ganged up on, and attacked from all sides. He ended the instant message section in an angry manner, saying to Naomi: "Fuck it all, maybe I'll give up the goddamn team after this year, and I'll give you up, too, and find myself a woman who isnt into this, and get out of tickling, and baseball all together!" Mitch was digging himself a very, very, deep hole, one he was not likely to emerge from soon.
When Mitch arrived home on Sunday night, he was met by a steaming Naomi, who lit into him the minute she saw him: "How dare you threaten me with leaving me because I dont agree with you! How dare you, you bastard! You want out so badly? There's the door! Pack your bags, and get the fuck out of here, and out of my life! You are such a spoiled baby, Mitchell. You have always gotten everything you want. Now, you practically ask to be flogged by your teammates, with your stupid public rants, and because I dont say to you: "Yes, baby, I love you, and support you, no matter what" you are going to fucking divorce me? You dont know what an unsupportive wife is, Mitchell. I have spent over twenty years putting up with your shit. I have raised your three kids who are now in adult hood. I've been your tickle girl, your fucktoy, your foot sniffee lady, your ladder girl, and your slave. I have had no fucking career because of you. I dont regret any of that, not in the least, because I loved you, Mitchell. I've loved you since I was a young girl, only 18 years old, from the minute I saw you. How dare you call me unsupportive, because I dont agree with your stupid rants. How dare you, you fucking bastard, how fucking dare you!" Naomi said, her voice rising into a scream. "I' m out of here. I dont have to listen to this!" Mitch shot back. "You had better stay, Mitchell. I swear to fucking God, if you walk out that door, I'm changing the locks, and filing for divorce in the morning. I've fucking had it with you!" Naomi screamed. Mitch went to the couch, and sat silently, and said nothing, as Naomi, shaking with rage, and tears rolling down her face, stood near the sofa. "I hate you" Naomi seethed, saying the words infatically, in a gentle whisper. Then she continued: "You sports heroes. You are all a bunch of spoiled babies. You play three hours a night, and earn millions of dollars a year. You have never worked a full day in your life, Mitchell, a real day. You get free food on the road, and free drinks, and a free hotel room. Everything fucking handed to you on a freaking silver platter, all for fucking hitting a baseball over a fence, or catching a ball, or pitching a few pitches. Hayden earns over a million dollars a year, to pitch one inning a night, a few times a week. God, all of you are such spoiled brats, it makes me sick. Grow the fuck up, Mitchell. You are a man close to forty years old, and you act like a big fucking baby. You dont get along with your teammates, or you dont like what is said about you, or to you, on a baseball, or tickling, website, or message board, AWWWWW! How about having some real fucking problems, Mitchell? You have your health, and three beautiful grown kids, and a wife who has given up her life for you. Stop fucking being a martyr. I'm sick of it. I swear to God. If something like this ever happens again, so help me, I'm kicking you the fuck out that door, forever, even if it kills me. Now, go to the guest room, and do not touch me, or talk to me, this whole homestand. I'm not throwing you out,.. yet, but dont you dare push my buttons, or else!" Naomi said, in a low voice of fury. Mitch, knowing he was not in a strong position to argue, meekly complied. He was not headed for a good week, and it would likely only get worse.
The next night, when Mitch got to the ballpark, to join the team for the game against Pittsburgh, he was met with cold stares in the clubhouse from his teammates. Lee Sniderman and Elmont Koehler said nothing to him. After Kate Hudson got the Pirates out in the first, and the first two batters had come to the plate, Mitch took his turn at bat, and was met with a chorus of boos by the sellout crowd. Mitch didnt endear himself to them any by striking out on three pitches, earning more catcalls. Paradise got only one run that night, but Kate Hudson pitched a complete game, two hit shutout, for a 1-0 Good Guy win. After the game, the media closed in on Mitch, for clarification of the situation. Mitch didnt comment, as he didnt want to make the situation worse. Naomi, who was fully dressed, came out of the girls locker room, and shot him a cold, deadly stare. The next night, the problems started early, as Mitch heard it from the crowd, from the minute his name was announced in the lineup. Naomi, who was sitting in the bullpen, began to heckle him, as he took his position for the first inning: "You hear that, Mitchell? You are the most hated man on Paradise Island. They all despise you. Listen to that? That's all you're going to be hearing the rest of your pathtetic, miserable career" Naomi heckled. Naomi continued to heckle, until the first base umpire went down to the bullpen between innings, and warned the Aussie pitcher to shut her mouth, or she would be ejected from the game. Naomi quieted down, but, when the umpire was not watching, proceeded to shoot sunflower seeds, with a slingshot, at Mitch's back, hitting him several times in the back. Between innings, Mitch turned around,and yelled at Naomi: "If you hate me so fucking much, why dont you just divorce me then? Go for it, big lady! Let's see how fucking great you are without me!" Mitch shouted. The ump, who had heard enough, proceeded to eject both Mitch and Naomi from the game, earning them both a round of boos, as they left the field. Clearly, the troubles were deepening. Meanwhile, on the field, luckily for the Good Guys, Gil Bellows had a solid outing, allowing only one run in eight innings, in what would be a 2-1 win for Paradise. In the postgame clubhouse, Elmont and Lee tore into both Mitch and Naomi: "Okay, you two, enough is fucking enough. Whatever you want to do to each other off field is one thing, but when it disrupts this team's games, it is our business. Any more public outbursts by either one of you, and you are both suspended, without pay, for the rest of this fucking homestand, got it? Either kiss and make up, and love each other, or dont fucking talk to each other. I've had it with both of you, and this childishness!" Sniderman said, firmly. Charlize Theron pitched the next night, losing a 4-1 decision, in a game that was quiet for Mitch and Naomi.
Thursday was an off day. That day, the couple decided to skip counesling, and instead spend the day at the casino, away from each other.
Chicago came to town on Friday night. Neve Campbell was the starter, and pitched a good game, allowing two runs in eight innings, in a 3-2 win. Rachel Leigh Cook took a 5-0 bomb on Saturday night. The Good Guys scored early and often for Kate Hudson on Sunday afternoon, a sunny, bright, 87 degree day, in front of the usual Sunday sellout of over 50,000. Paradise got six first nning runs, and never looked back, as Kate pitched eight innings, allowing two runs, in what would be a 6-2 victory.
St Louis entered Paradise on Monday night, for the last game of the homestand. Gil Bellows pitched on Monday, and was shut out, 3-0. Charlize took the ball on Tuesday, and didnt fare any better, losing 5-1. Neve Campbell had the ball, on a sunny, hot, humid, 88 degree Paradise Wednesday afternoon, in front of a sellout, as the Good Guys tried to avoid the sweep. Neve kept the team in the game, allowing three runs in six innings. The game was tied, 3-3 in the eighth, when Paradise pushed across the go ahead run. After Hayden spit up the lead in the ninth, earning a round of boos, Ed Burns came to the plate in the bottom of the ninth, and put a dramatic end to the homestand, with a long homer, to give Paradise a 5-4 win, that also ended a five and four homestand. Clearly, the team was far from at their best, and was just treading water, and Mitch and Naomi were in serious trouble. As the team packed to head to Pittsburgh the next night, it remained to be seen if they could turn the corner.
In the meantime, the team held its Saturday tickle party, following the loss to the Cubs. The featured lee would be actress Salma Hayek, who had starred with Good Guy pitcher Neve Campbell in the movie "54", and was in Paradise that week, on vacation, and had attended some Good Guy games. Salma was tied hands and feet to the bed, in the middle of the fetish club, in a bikini. Second baseman Russell began the tickle on Salma's neck with fingers, as the giggles began:HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHE! Working down, Center Fielder Burns was next, tickling Salma on her underarms, sides, ribs, and belly with fingers, as she thrashed:HEHEHEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE!
Moving down, left fielder Dawson was the next ler, attacking Salma on her hips, inner thighs, and knees with fingers, as she bucked:HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! NOOOOOOO! Finally, Mitch positioned himself at Salma's bare feet, and tickled them with fingers, feathers, ice, and electric toothbrushes. Salma went beserk, wiggling her toes every which way, and begging for mercy:HEHEHHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEE! OMG PLEASE NO MORE! I GIVE UP! NOOOOO! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE! Finally, the tickle ended, and Salma was untied.
On Thursday evening, Mitch was packed to head on the team flight to Pittsburgh:" If you think I'm taking you, you're dreaming" Naomi said. "I know you're not taking me" Mitch said, and then proceeded to call a cab. "Will you be here when I get back?" Mitch asked. "Did I say I wasnt going to be here when you got back? Do you want me not to be here when you get back" Naomi pressed. "No to both questions" Mitch replied. "Okay, then shut the hell up. I will be here when you get back" Naomi snapped. Mitch nodded, and took his suitcase, and headed out the door, to the cab, to the airport.
So ended a homestand that was a real mess on every front. Now the couple would be away from one another for ten days. Would the time away calm the situation down, or would there be further deterioration? Those answers to come in the continuing story of the Tickle Team From Paradise Island.
The End
