... and the sandwich of doom!
It really is quite bizarre... I woke up this morning, way too freakin' early in the morning mind you, and discovered that my beautiful, quirky, flatulent love of my life, gothfreakhell, had turned into a bologna and mustard sandwich. I wanted desperately to do something about it, but i was still groggy from staying up later than i should listening to the TMF radio show the night before. I instead fumbled through the dark, careful not to de-crust goth or rouse his suspicion that he had turned into a sandwich, put on my work clothes and arrived at work to handle "the big yellow dog". I listened to kids scream about how their moms gave them stupid poptarts instead of cooking a meal for them and was more than relieved to be away from their incessant chatter on my midday break.
There in our mattress on the floor (we are in the process of moving out... two more weeks, YAY) was the bologna and mustard sandwich. Still, hoping to around no suspicion, i gave the goth sandwich a kiss on the forehead (or what is supposed to be a forehead) . I proceed to take care of my daily things, looking at paintings, trying to figure out what i'm going to write about, setting fire to various bills i'll never pay etc. The goth sandwich suddenly vaulted from the bed "Gnargg Gnargg Gnargg.. i'm going to tickle you with my bologna".. uhm... wait.. no, change bologna to jellybeans, bologna sounds way too suggestive, although more spot on...
I ran for my ticklish life, my friends. Through my Ike'd house, down the street of the trailer park, past my evil ex-mother in law and my (my and i said MY) dog all the way to bugman's house. Yeah, it was quite a run, but t least we live in the same state. Even the valiant bugman was unable to thwart the advances of the sandwich of doom. The goth sandwich drooled mustard in pernicious rivulets, bugman and i looked at eachother, knowing i was doomed when suddenly my squidlett, my beautiful daughter comes rushing to the scene holding a cd player blasting Neil Diamond.
"the goth sandwich hates everything but metal!." she screamed over the noisome assault. And in no time at all, the goth sandwich turned back into a tall shirtless gothfreakhell. Ahh, back to normal again. So then we all had Teacher Teacher Teacher Teacher Pirate sex (except for squidlett, she went with her aunt to chuck e. cheese) and sailed off into the sunset, until we were eaten by the Krakken.
This was the best way to tell everyone about me.
It really is quite bizarre... I woke up this morning, way too freakin' early in the morning mind you, and discovered that my beautiful, quirky, flatulent love of my life, gothfreakhell, had turned into a bologna and mustard sandwich. I wanted desperately to do something about it, but i was still groggy from staying up later than i should listening to the TMF radio show the night before. I instead fumbled through the dark, careful not to de-crust goth or rouse his suspicion that he had turned into a sandwich, put on my work clothes and arrived at work to handle "the big yellow dog". I listened to kids scream about how their moms gave them stupid poptarts instead of cooking a meal for them and was more than relieved to be away from their incessant chatter on my midday break.
There in our mattress on the floor (we are in the process of moving out... two more weeks, YAY) was the bologna and mustard sandwich. Still, hoping to around no suspicion, i gave the goth sandwich a kiss on the forehead (or what is supposed to be a forehead) . I proceed to take care of my daily things, looking at paintings, trying to figure out what i'm going to write about, setting fire to various bills i'll never pay etc. The goth sandwich suddenly vaulted from the bed "Gnargg Gnargg Gnargg.. i'm going to tickle you with my bologna".. uhm... wait.. no, change bologna to jellybeans, bologna sounds way too suggestive, although more spot on...
I ran for my ticklish life, my friends. Through my Ike'd house, down the street of the trailer park, past my evil ex-mother in law and my (my and i said MY) dog all the way to bugman's house. Yeah, it was quite a run, but t least we live in the same state. Even the valiant bugman was unable to thwart the advances of the sandwich of doom. The goth sandwich drooled mustard in pernicious rivulets, bugman and i looked at eachother, knowing i was doomed when suddenly my squidlett, my beautiful daughter comes rushing to the scene holding a cd player blasting Neil Diamond.
"the goth sandwich hates everything but metal!." she screamed over the noisome assault. And in no time at all, the goth sandwich turned back into a tall shirtless gothfreakhell. Ahh, back to normal again. So then we all had Teacher Teacher Teacher Teacher Pirate sex (except for squidlett, she went with her aunt to chuck e. cheese) and sailed off into the sunset, until we were eaten by the Krakken.
This was the best way to tell everyone about me.
