Saudis Blame Jamaicans for 9/11

[JoBelle]

Saudis Blame Jamaicans for 9/11

By David Marsden

Saudi Spokesperson Adel Al-Jubeir

WASHINGTON – Uncannily reminding many onlookers of Frasier Crane's brother, Niles, Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah's foreign policy adviser, Adel Al-Jubeir (and while we're on the subject just who the devil is Crown Prince Abdullah anyway and what's his role in all this?) yesterday threw down his diamond and emerald encrusted gold lamé kestrel hunting gauntlet at the United States and told the press assembled in the diamond and emerald encrusted gold lamé press room at Saudi Arabia's Washington diamond and emerald encrusted gold lamé embassy that the 15 Saudis who launched the savage and unprovoked attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon on September 11, 2001 were not in the original group hand-picked by Saudi Arabia's second best-known export, Osama bin Laden.

He said, "they were standing-in for a similar number of Jamaicans and Germans although I couldn't exactly tell you just how many Jamaicans and how many Germans there should have been."

Basing his information on confidential Saudi intelligence reports beaten out of a steel drum percussionist in a resident Montego Bay hedonistic hotel reggae group at an all-night unlimited ganja and rum party celebrating the end of another "Playboy does a Montego Bay back to school" shoot, Al-Jubeir said he and over 86 of Saudi Arabia's 657 Crown Princes are getting pretty upset with this constant American and Zionist inference that Saudi Arabia had anything to do with the 9/11 attack.

"It is blatantly unfair to accuse us with complicity in this terrible deed especially after we've spent billions of hard-earned petro dollars on wild Washington parties and cash donations to elect your House and Senate representatives since the so-called 'Gas Crisis' in 1974, which we deliberately imposed to teach you a lesson and show just how dependent you are on the goodwill of our 657 Crown Princes."

When asked if he really meant 'House and Senate representatives' and not 'charitable Saudi causes' he paused, like Niles Crane does so well, and laconically answered, "perhaps."

Explaining it is the custom of all Saudi Crown Princes to carry large amounts of cash and be ready at the drop of a veil to give it away to poor, struggling fellow-Saudis taking expensive flying lessons in Florida , he said attention should shift away from his Royal Household and towards the Royal Households in Jamaica and Germany : "Saudi intelligence beaten out of our secret sources under the threat of lopping-off a hand or foot or both, tells us Jamaica and Germany pose much greater threats to the US than we do, if only for their unintelligible dub music and automobiles talking in code. So let's quickly get back to our friendly relations and wild Washington embassy parties where we can drink, snort and smoke to our hearts' content and show off our women's ankles and wrists."

"And on the subject of our marathon fundraising telethons for the families of the 15 Saudis who so gallantly lost their lives on September 11, and if there's any money left over, for Semtex for our brave and selfless Palestinian brothers...why don't you ask Jerry Lewis where his billions went?"


😉

 

[qjakal]

Jerry...

didn't look very healthy at all this year did he...a bit sad. Almost as sad as the Saudi situation. Q

 

[Moses25]

Jamaicans?

"Mon!! Osama say we need ta fly big-ass plane into de Pent-ee-gone! Nah!! How da John Henry ama 'sposed ta doo that when a can't even find me own bong?!? Batty maan!!"

No offense to Jamaicans, or bongs, intended.😛

Cheers.😀

 

[BigJim]

Re: Jamaicans?

"Mon!! Osama say we need ta fly big-ass plane into de Pent-ee-gone! Nah!! How da John Henry ama 'sposed ta doo that when a can't even find me own bong?!? Batty maan!!"

No offense to Jamaicans, or bongs, intended.😛

Cheers.😀

OMG!!!! !!!!!!! Moses that had me on the floor! Then I got up, read it again and promptly collapesed again!!!!


"I got papers, butts, bongs, reefs........all the ingredients ah need to make hah nigga paa! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" (Yeah I know I got the ingredients wrong, but that line is the only movie line that ever replicated the hysterics induced by Moses.)

 

[JoBelle]

Moby, Moby, Moby....
🙄 😀 😛

Gotta love a good Jamaican impersonation~! Yours, on the other hand....questionable. heeheehee

Joby
--------------



NEWSFLASH: Saudi Arabia Issues Apology to U.S.

By Wed Gee

Washington — The government of Saudi Arabia issued a self-described apology to the American people for supporting al Qaeda terrorist responsible for the attacks of 9/11. The "apology" came in the form of a letter addressed to the American people, which we reprint in its entirety:

"We absolutely, unequivocally denounce the killing of innocent men, women and children. Islam is a religion of peace. However, it must be remembered that not all are innocent. Zionist Jews are responsible.

We absolutely, unequivocally denounce the bombing of fast-food restaurants. Islam is a religion of peace. However, it must be remembered that not all are innocent. Zionist Jews are responsible.

We absolutely, unequivocally denounce the crashing of aircraft into buildings and the killing of innocent men, women and children. Islam is a religion of peace. However, it must be remembered that not all are innocent. Zionist Jews are responsible.

We absolutely, unequivocally denounce suicide-bombings which kill innocent men, women and children. Islam is a religion of peace. However, it must be remembered that not all are innocent. Zionist Jews are responsible.

We absolutely, unequivocally denounce (fill in the blank) which kill innocent men, women and children. Islam is a religion of peace. However, it must be remembered that not all are innocent. Zionist Jews are responsible."

 

[Strelnikov]

I dunno about Jamaicans, but I believe the claim about the Germans. Our friend Hal probably masterminded the whole thing. His role as a TMF member and author, and his so-called "pacifist" views, are just a cover for an evil terrorist genius.

Yeah... Right. Only someone like august spies could believe a fairy tale like that - or believe the disclaimers the Saudis are putting out since 9/11. If Saddam decides to use poison gas, let's hope the wind is blowing toward the west. It would serve those Saudi bastards right.

Strelnikov

 

[august spies]

saudi arabia is south of iraq not west, to the west of iraq is syria jordan palestine and israel.

saddam has already used poison gas, back in 1988 when he was your trusted ally and trading partner.

dont you just love it, both the doulbe standard, and the idoicy of the right wing, all in one post!

thanks strel dude

 

[asutickler]

saudi arabia is south of iraq not west, to the west of iraq is syria jordan palestine and israel.

Saudi Arabia lies to the South of Iraq... But is also directly West of the Southern half of Iraq.

Please note the following map:

http://www.atlapedia.com/online/maps/political/Saudi_etc.htm

dont you just love it, both the doulbe standard, and the idoicy of the right wing, all in one post!

August, I've noticed that you've taken to labeling those who disagree with you as "idiots" in several of your recent posts. Use of this term in such fashion positively smacks of a falsely elevated sense of self-worth and personal sagacity. The choice to behave in this rather repulsive manner is entirely yours, however, if you are going to parade about touting yourself as some sort of intellectual titan, it would behoove you to take the following suggestions under advisement:

A. At the very least, make an attempt to utilize proper grammar and punctuation. (A little tip in this regard: the first letter of proper nouns, as well as the first letter of the first word of a sentence, should always be capitalized.)

B. Take the time to learn the spelling of a word prior to attempting to use it. A simple typo or two is one thing... However, many of your posts are so rife with incorrect spellings as to be nigh onto incomprehensible. Further, in attempting to cast aspersions upon Strelnikov's intellect, you misspelled the word "idiocy." I'll refrain from commenting upon the obvious implications of such an error...

C. Stop relying on deliberate insults as a primary means of self-expression. Yes, labeling anyone who disagrees with you as a "right winger," or "corporate *****" may give you some small sense of personal satisfaction, or even, sad as it may be, power. However, resorting to petty insults will also serve to alienate anyone who does not already concur with your point of view. Unless your chief goal is to simply stir up rancorous argument, you would be better served by expressing your beliefs in a more diplomatic fashion.

Please note that I would not bother to point out such relative trivialities as grammar or spelling to someone who did not insist upon referring to others as "idiots." However, it is only right that a judgmental individual such as yourself be held to your own high standards.

I realize that it is generally considered rather improper to point out the obvious transgressions (technical and otherwise) of others, and for this I apologize. My rudeness in this matter is significantly mitigated, however, in that it is committed in direct response to your own churlish behavior.

Good day.

 

[JoBelle]

Bad irritating little boy!
SHOO!
G'way!
You're not wanted in my thread!
One more thing, stop saying YOURS everytime you disagree with someone. Or was I mistaken and my buddy Strel has some homey bond with the Saudis that I don't know about? Strel??

Leave the comical thread alone and go back to you attempt to hold up your end of a "serious" thread!

Joby 😛 *neener*

 

[grippedchimp]

Ey, whas g'wanin'?
Jah tee-ank me can fly a baatty eerplane? Dem blaad-claat Saudees be smokin' too much 'erb to tink dat, boi! Keel meself, dred? Bombo-claat! Me gwan smoke me reefer instead, mon!

Jah rastafarai. Pee-ace and love, dred. Me go home to me chicken an' rice an' peas. Yah man!

When you live in South-East London, it grows on you...

 

[august spies]

from anywher in iraq if you head south you end up in saudi arabia, from almost every major city in iraq if you head west, you do not hit saudi arabia, maybe in about 15% of southern iraq if you head west you would cross over into the norther desert portion of saudi arabia, but still end up in jordan/palestine/israel.

the correct term to wish a poison gas attack on the people of saudi arabia would be to say, i wish poison gas would blow south from iraq to saudi arabia. actually that hopefully wont happen, but to give you some pleasure, here is a picture from the 88' gas attack that bush and you guys were so proud of. it might be able to hold you guys over

http://kurdistan.org/Multimedia/iraq.html

well im glad you found something to insult me on, grammer and capitalizing first letters of a sentence. well i guess thats good for you.. oops i mean Well i guess thats good for you.

It's really sickining how after pointing out a blatent double standard regarding nerve gas attacks, and the fact that someone wished a poison gas attack on others, thats was all you can say.

i dont know what you mean "saying your"?

i label people for what they are, if you are backing a right wing argument, and this is not your first time doing it, that they are a rightist, i dont remember calling anyone a corporate *****, but what the hell. Al gore is a corporate *****.

p.s.
maybe there is some hope for peace and justice in the world because some of the rightists are actually starting to catch on to their own hypocracy regarding saudi arabia. its a dictatorship, its corrupt, it steals money from its people, it has laws which horribly descrimiate woman(they cant even drive a car). 15? hyjackers were saudis, its the birth of wahabbism, and there is no free speech. But Bush has his mouth around their ****s? hmmm wait a minute here(the sound of a lightbulb struggling to turn on)

 

[Strelnikov]

Joby, to answer your question, I've detested Arabs (not just Saudis) for years. Their culture glories in its backwardness and the ignorance of its members. All of the bedrock principles of Western civilization - constitutional government, rule of law, respect for the political, religious and property rights of individuals - their culture opposes.

God only knows why they see themselves as having a warrior tradition, because they haven't won a war in the last 1400 years (their great anti-Crusader hero, Saladin, was a Kurd.) The Mongols beat their brains out in the 13th Century, the Ottoman Turks did in the 16th, the British and French in the 19th, and Americans and Israelis in the 20th. The best they can manage is to murder little girls in their beds, blow up housewives and school kids on buses, and fly airplanes into occupied buildings.

In summary, Arabs are savages. They're sullen, resentful, treacherous, and therefore dangerous. They respect only force.

We shouldn't stop with Iraq. We have scores to settle in the Middle East that go back 30 years. They say they're at war with us? Let's show them what that means.

Sorry to rain on your parade, Joby. But unfortunately for all of us, your humorous topic is as serious as a heart attack.

Strelnikov

 

[JoBelle]

Strel,

You should well know, I'm the last one to make pure light of this entanglement. I simply thought I'd take something that has been weighing heavily on our minds...and on the TMF boards and inject a bit of sarcasm into it. I feel at times that regardless of the topic's severity that a bit of levity in some form is needed. If only to clear one's mind. I like these satire-wire bits. They are on spot and make a point. My last post was in regard to the spy boy who insist on spewing rubbish at every turn. It wasn't directed at you.

My problem with the Arab world is based in the religion. I'm not bashing Islam, as like most religions, it has merit. HOWEVER....it's also freely manipulated. The "leaders" of the arab world are nothing but a bunch of schoolyard bullies with the school rules backing their behavior if twisted the right way. That region of the world, thanks to Islam, has stagnated in a world of hundreds of years past. There isn't a mechanism in their belief system that allows for change be it social or political. It's been it's own downfall. Thus the Middle East is full of people who should have died a very long time ago...in my typical American_world-hating_opinion. Give Alexander the Great a nuke and the world would have been a different place is all I'm saying. 😉

I hold great issue with anyone who justifies killing babies and women to prove a point when those very people are held with such low regard to the killers themselves. It's an act of pure evil. Yes, I said evil. People who willingly, and knowingly murder, rape and destroy should find their end with their own tactics. Just my $.02 on that.

Should I even get into the very specific anti-American behaviors of our "friend" Saudi Arabia? Anyone with CSPAN has been recently educated on their treatment of American cildren taken illegally from the USA. I can't believe how our own country let's things slide when it comes to the bottom dwellers in that part of the world. It's just shameful.

Strel, It's not all fun and games. It's far from being "just humor." Take a deep breath and know that I just felt a sarcastic jab was needed at the moment.

Joby

 

[Strelnikov]

Point taken, Joby. It was late when I posted last night, and I was tired and grumpy. I still have no use for the bastards, though.

Strelnikov

 

[BigJim]

Some good points Joby and for the most part I agree whole-heartedly with you. But remember that when something is backward, evil and corrupt, it can usually only be seen that way from the outside. For someone inside it it is usually the best thing since sliced bread and a wonderful system that all should participate in and work to further.


To someone outside the system (even if they're only mentally outside it) the people inside it look like they're easilly led and have given their minds away. You try persuading some of those arabs of that though.

Trying to persuade someone who lives in an evily lead and corrupt system that they are living in just that, is a thankless and miserable task.