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Scottish Ticket Dodgers

Illtcklu

3rd Level Blue Feather
Joined
Dec 5, 2005
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Three scots and three englishmen are traveling by train to a football match.
At the station, the three englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three scots buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three Englanders.

"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the Scotsmen.

They all board the train. The Englishmen take their respective seats but all three scotsmen cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The English saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Englishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed Englishman.

"Watch and you'll see," says one of the Scotsmen. When they board the train the three Scots cram into a toilet and the three Englishmen cram into another one nearby.

The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Scots leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Englishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
 
ticklingnemesis said:
:jester: i guess englishmen aren't so bright. :sowrong:
EnglishMEN maybe. But you can be sure that us women are. 😉

Isn't that right, Illtcklu? 😛
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
EnglishMEN maybe. But you can be sure that us women are. 😉

Isn't that right, Illtcklu? 😛
*squints* So bright in fact, you need to turn yourself down.
 
HeavenlyTickle said:
Yes, that's the point.

For once it seems you didn't get one of my jokes. How ironic.
All I was saying is I wouldn't have been dumb enough to claim I was bright on the forum.

Are you sure I didn't get it?
 
Illtcklu said:
All I was saying is I wouldn't have been dumb enough to claim I was bright on the forum.
Neither did I. I claimed that English women were. Not me in particular. And besides, it was a joke! :bump:

Blimey. It's not like I stood on a podium, rolled out a script and announced my IQ. 🙄
Illtcklu said:
Are you sure I didn't get it?
I dunno. Maybe you did. Ask Herbie. 😛

My head hurts now. You made me think too much.
 
I was expecting a joke at Scots expense (which would be cool too), but I was pleasently suprised.😀
 
LMAO :rowfull:

I was expecting a joke at Scots expense (which would be cool too), but I was pleasently suprised.😀

Well, it works two ways. The Scottish men are shown to be very intelligent but also excessively frugal.
 
I have one.🙂

An old Scotsman boards a train at the last second.At the next station he jumps off the train and again barely makes it back in time.

After watching this go on for several stops one of the other passengers says "Excuse me sir,you know they have conveniences aboard the train,you need not rush like that."

The old man says "I've seen the doctor,and i'm a very sick man.He told me if i wanted to see home again i'd best go right away and even then i mght not make it.So,i'm buying my ticket one station at a time."

:bwahaha:
 
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