Seeking ticklish / ler wife

[billylee]

Forgive me if this has been done before, but after almost 4 years on the forum, with little result, why not just get to the point?

The happiest people here seem to be married to someone (sometimes to someone else on the forum) Brief meet ups are unlikely; NEST happens only once a year. Lots of guys here seem suspect, and you never really know what someone wants online. At my age it seems a bit embarrassing to be legging on to TMF at all.

So here is the flat out truth: I was married five years ago to a fine woman who had no interest in tickling (that's not why we broke up, of course). After a few years of moping, I still believe that marriage is terrific and I want to return to it. But after age 40 (slightly) you can understand how difficult it is to find anyone, let alone a woman who likes the tickling thing: as a ler or lee. So that is what I want - not a brief encounter or a weekend, but the real thing: a series of discussions online, an exchange of numbers, a meet somewhere down the road, but ultimately the knowledge that a partner likes this subject as either ler or lee, or both, and is interested in building a LTR like those of many happy couples here.

That's it, laugh all you want. But even Nixon never made it so perfectly clear.

p.s. If you do not know who Nixon was, you are too young to respond.

 

[maniactickler]

I feel your pain my friend. im looking for the ticklish girl of my dreams too. its not easy finding a woman whos super ticklish and enjoys it. plus one whos very attractive, has a nice body, a great sense of humor and is honest. but in the meantime, you just have to settle for what you can get. nothing wrong with some quickies here and there. plus you get to meet different people. keep your chin up.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Forgive me if this has been done before, but after almost 4 years on the forum, with little result, why not just get to the point?

The happiest people here seem to be married to someone (sometimes to someone else on the forum) Brief meet ups are unlikely; NEST happens only once a year. Lots of guys here seem suspect, and you never really know what someone wants online. At my age it seems a bit embarrassing to be legging on to TMF at all.

So here is the flat out truth: I was married five years ago to a fine woman who had no interest in tickling (that's not why we broke up, of course). After a few years of moping, I still believe that marriage is terrific and I want to return to it. But after age 40 (slightly) you can understand how difficult it is to find anyone, let alone a woman who likes the tickling thing: as a ler or lee. So that is what I want - not a brief encounter or a weekend, but the real thing: a series of discussions online, an exchange of numbers, a meet somewhere down the road, but ultimately the knowledge that a partner likes this subject as either ler or lee, or both, and is interested in building a LTR like those of many happy couples here.

That's it, laugh all you want. But even Nixon never made it so perfectly clear.

p.s. If you do not know who Nixon was, you are too young to respond.

Without a doubt, in my mind, the classiest and finest personal ad I have seen here in this or any of the other tickle forum that has a personals section.

I found my wife to be here in the TMF at the age of 41.
Be patient. Be yourself especoially here. No need for the temporary cover-up until "things progress". Here you are half way there before you ever start.

I wish you nothing but the best of luck and so hope you find exactly what you seek my friend.

 

[ticklefeathers]

I agree Wholeheartedly

I can relate to the "I am slightly over 40" thing, and you can't find anyone. Guys like us will not be happy, at this point in our lives, using your standard dating site to meet just any girl, because we would like to find someone that enjoys tickling as much as we do; we aren't getting any younger here. And sometimes it seems that the only women that post here who might actually meet a guy, are around the age of 19.

For any pretty ladies that may happen to review this posting, please understand that not all men are dogs, some of us on here are sincere, sweet, romantic guys that would do anything for you.

Sorry to ramble....hoping to meet someone interesting in the NYC area, or upstate.

 

[Tickling_bully]

What I did to deal with the problem you describe

While the tickling "community" is so sparsely populated that it virtually only exists when there is a NEST event, most towns of any size have a BDSM community of some sort or another. I joined the BDSM community 18 years ago, largely because of my interest in tickling. I have been tickling submissive women ever since. While it is not ideal (especially if you dont care for other BDSM activities) it *is* workable, and its worked for me.

Feel free to shoot me any requests for clarifications that I can offer,

Chris

 

[opal24]

are we venting? because i can vent with the best of 'em 😉

I'm randomly throwing in my two cents to say 'don't give up, guys.' I wish I could say that with some certainty, as if I knew that fate would eventually make us all happy. A few years ago I might have even felt that way. But I've gone through what most people here have -- people posting and lurkers reading alike -- and have been hit hard by how difficult a lifestyle (shall we say) this really is to have.

I'm not losing my optimism, but past experiences have taught me I need to find someone like-minded. I've had some of the worst experiences you can imagine on this site (ok, maybe not that you can imagine, but pretty bad) and a few pretty good ones. But I hear you on the idea of getting tired of one-night-stands and random encounters where we only have one thing in common. It's boring.

And what's worse is the fact that once you've left the vanilla dating world, there's no going back. At least that's my experience.

Long story short? I get it. I'm there with you guys. Just throwing in my two cents. 🙂

 

[dvnc]

I still date vanilla. Still involve outside of this kink with others in other kinks. I'm likewise in my 40s and find that there's cool folks with whom to involve.

Then there's the folks with whom I'd rather not involve (likewise, there's those that want NOTHING to do with me, I'm guessing).

Takes effort. This locale is only one of several ways in which to discover a partner:
1) there's gatherings (and NEST isn't the only, but it IS the largest)
2) there's privately conversing and meeting with people posting like-minded thoughts.
3) there's getting familiar with the not-so-kinky truth of this interest, dating vanilla, and offering of fair exchange. D'you know how many men effectively provide reciprocation, sexually or supportively? That alone can motivate a partner to "suffer" the tickling (oh torture) in exchange for their orgasm and a proper backrub.
4) don't seek long-term partners. Seek encounters, and friends, and community. Take a year, maybe two, and DON'T date. Play, socialize and figure out what you really want, what you can truly offer, and adjust your goals to match what you can reciprocate. Worst case there is a lot of play and several new friends.

This has been my experience. It's been true for a number of the folks that helped me start my gatherings. Several of them are partnered. Many play regularly still. A few married vanilla that reciprocate. There's more than one way to this.

Personals is just an individual means. Try broader methods to meet, says I.

BillyLee, if ya haven't found her yet, ya will. Helluva fine personal.

 

[worldpilot]

Interesting insights, all. Thanks for sharing!

 

[paperbag]

in case anyone is thinking of this

**Golden Rule Violation**
**While you may or may not have experienced something with a user who's been here for a whole 2 months, a) it's not thread-relevant and b) it's accusatory and derogatory both to you and her. Yanked for moderator review.**

 

[paperbag]

rebuttal

Hey Mods,
A point of fact. She hasn't been here a whole 2 months. Try several years. If you don't believe me, check the users **EDITED BY MODERATORS AS GR VIOLATIONS**. Same person.

As to it being derogatory, it wasn't. I still have the e-mails and the pictures to prove I met her **MODERATORS HAVE PM AVAILABLE AND EMAIL**. The story is true. I was just trying to warn people because this person really is dangerous. I was put in extreme danger. It's entirely thread-relevant because this is the personals thread and people are going to look here to find someone to reply to.
Thank you
**MODERATORS CAN ALSO READ YOUR THREAD REMOVALS. YOU NEED TO MAIL ME SOON**

**Golden Rule Violation**
**While you may or may not have experienced something with a user who's been here for a whole 2 months, a) it's not thread-relevant and b) it's accusatory and derogatory both to you and her. Yanked for moderator review.**

 

[TickledToDeath]

Hey Mods,
A point of fact. She hasn't been here a whole 2 months. Try several years. If you don't believe me, check the users **GR VIOLATION RELATED**. Same person.

As to it being derogatory, it wasn't. I still have the e-mails and the pictures to prove I met her. The story is true. I was just trying to warn people because this person really is dangerous. I was put in extreme danger. It's entirely thread-relevant because this is the personals thread and people are going to look here to find someone to reply to.
Thank you

Elaborate if you would, please. Who is dangerous? How so? How were you put in extreme danger?

TTD
** apologies for having to include you in his edits, TTD**

 

[paperbag]

Hi
Who is dangerous? Well...I mentioned the person's 3 names in my post.
How was I put in extreme danger? I was put into a situation where I found out this person is not interested in tickling only after I was in her bed at 2am and drunk. Being shocked at being told this, and not thinking clearly due to being intoxicated, I left the situation and walked home. I was very nearly mugged by 3 men. Luckily I am a fast runner even when drunk.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Hi
Who is dangerous? Well...I mentioned the person's 3 names in my post.
How was I put in extreme danger? I was put into a situation where I found out this person is not interested in tickling only after I was in her bed at 2am and drunk. Being shocked at being told this, and not thinking clearly due to being intoxicated, I left the situation and walked home. I was very nearly mugged by 3 men. Luckily I am a fast runner even when drunk.

Ok as for the who I just wanted to make sure I was reading correctly especially with the multi names. Don't know her or that much of or about her so I cannot confirm or deny your accusations against her.
As for how you were put in extreme danger, I was thinking that she was seriously into extreme tickle torture, tied you to her bed and then tickled you far beyond your desires and limits even after you begged for her to stop and screamed out your safeword multiple times she continued to sadistically viciously tickle torture you all night long till you were about to die.
So what was she interested in if not interested in tickling that made her dangerous. I am not attacking YOU bro, I am just not clear on what specifically made HER dangerous outside of the fact that you were subsequently placed in a dangerous situation on your way home which is not a good thing mind you but I think it is unclear to all here who will be reading this thread as to what made HER specifically dangerous.
Glad you were a fast runner bro and that you did not get attacked or mugged or worse.
Unfortunate as it is albeit, a lesson learned for sure.


TTD

 

[dvnc]

Okay, so you'll persist in insulting yourself. You're insisting on declaring you
a) went out with one of us and got drunk,
b) didn't think about the possibility that she didn't want someone hammered playing with her, and
c) decided you'd hit the streets after the woman brought your drunken behind home, despite the fact that, as a member here, you're a grown adult and know that you could be harmed.

Somehow, this her fault. Any woman.

While this IS a great advertisement for women to make clear about the sobriety requirements for play, if the have such, it's not something I recommend pursuing.

Do you REALLY insist on telling this tale. PaperBag? You may as well declare to all but the most codependent women that you aren't someone to play with. You've effectively wrecked this account, and busybee (this was visible to anyone who got the post notification for a new post, after reading the one above it).

I'm *trying* to help you here, man. You're not letting me help you or her. She's helped, as you've seen to that. No woman reading this will deal with you now, and any man who wants to deal with women here will deal with her, and think twice about drinking excessively.

Even if you weren't drunk, you made this point with your post.

May I suggest you desist? You're uniting a group of people, sure. It's just not a way I suggest doing it. Leaves you outside, looking in. Please stop.

 

[paperbag]

reply

You have made some accusations about me, and then ask me to stop posting.
I will let this end here, but it's only fair that I reply to your accusations.

First, I of course did think about the possibility that she was not interested. I've been to bars a zillion times. You win some you lose some. However, by the time she let me into her bed....

Second, I decided to hit the streets because I was drunk and shocked. I'm not saying it was a great idea, it was incredibly stupid, but I did it because I was drunk and not thinking clearly. This is an incredibly dangerous situation to be in. I consider myself a decent guy. I left the situation. I totally respected her boundaries. However, there are guys out there who will not take no for an answer.

And yes I do insist on telling this true story. I do NOT want to see this happen to some other guy. I have not said a peep about this for a year. This happened last May, exactly a year ago. It's not like I'm shouting this from the hilltops. But when I see her posting on a personals thread, morphing her identity into a new name to try to hide her past, I am going to warn people, because she will not warn them herself that she is not really into it. That is all. End of thread.

 

[dvnc]

With what you said already, they weren't accusations. They were confirmations of your declarations. This is done in interpersonal communication to see that one person perceives the other correctly.

You confirmed this, while extending the understanding. Thank you.

I still don't see where this is doing anything to warn anyone from her. You still seem to be, by your own repeated description, someone who went out to meet someone (and props for that), got hammered (not advisable to anyone), and then didn't like who you went home with.

Now, assuming you, in that state, read the situation correctly, you've declared shock that she isn't into this the way you are. This happens. If you DON'T declare, in prior communication, what you seek, then you get surprised, as there are millions on the continent, tens of thousands into this (if one believes the reg. number for this site, plus the number of guest/visitor accounts, divided by the secondary accounts created, plus the non-tech folks into this), and others into other kinks have found.

No prior established declared interest specifics = surprise.

Not a good time to drink up first.

I do recommend, brer, that in the next account after busybee, you establish what you want to play like (conceptually speaking) BEFORE meeting. For example:

"Are you into bondage?"

"Not sure"

"Wanna try?"

"Okay, but if I say "red" we stop"

"Okay"

In that example, you both know she don't know, wants to try, and has the concept of a safeword. Requires sobriety. Not guaranteed on first date. Etc.

It's not easy. Dating never is. The exceptions prove the rule.

Man, you're smart enough to be bold enough to meet. Props to ya for that. Try NOT drinkin' so much (like don't get past 3, at all, ever), date someone, negotiate BEFOREHAND at the meeting point where you're interested, and EXPECT that she may get cold feet. May get nervous. May not play.

Hell, I know women here who've met GUYS who do this. This is an unusual interest. It can be slow to get folks into doin' what they're into doin'.

Good luck to you. We now return to our regularly scheduled thread...

 

[paperbag]

You're missing the whole entire point dude.
I did ask her what she was into. Her answer was "it changes everyday" and "I have very specific likes". That's it. She never said "I don't want to play, at all, ever, with anyone".
This is why I'm posting here, because she won't tell you that up front. That's why she changed nicks 3 times. ok?

 

[dvnc]

You KNOW why she changed nicks 3 times? Wow. That's presumptuous. Another one that women here are going to avoid.

She doesn't know for certain what she likes? That makes her like a great many PEOPLE here (which means both men and women).

Why would I know? I not only have hosted for many people, and received email from still more, but am friends with many of those hosting on this continent, and I hear about this sort of thing.

Some folks know tickling fascinates them but don't dig it as much when they try it, not realizing it could be the 'ler being too delicate or too rough. That's no one's FAULT. It simply is what it is - a difference in taste.

So she wasn't concrete, didn't dig your play, you got hammered and got your back up when she wouldn't play her way, wandered out into the predawn hours still drunk, and are mad at her.

Still not gonna play well with the women here. From 18 to retiring (yes, I know folks in both ends of that) that won't play well.

I'm still hoping you're gonna stop digging this hole. You're not looking good in it. It should have stopped yesterday. You could have apologized, removed your post, and walked away.

Still your call. You're still in control. Control it. Do something constructive and quit digging.

 

[paperbag]

You got on my case for having 2 nicks, why not get on hers for 3? jeez....
I'm not posting to try to attract dates, obviously. That's not the only thing I think about. It's weird that's your main criticism of me, that this doesn't play well with women. who cares. I was trying to do a good thing and warn other guys, that's it. Honest to god, no good deed goes unpunished. If you really want this thread to end just stop replying for pete's sake.

 

[dvnc]

Who said I wanted this post to end?

 

[billylee]

Get Off My Thread

No woman responded; it does not change the fact that this was a serious request. All three of you knuckleheads - that means you, too, moderator - should never have been on my post.

 

[dvnc]

Sorry you suffer under this misconception. If you wish to have this thread cleaned, you could consider politely asking for such. As it stands, you'll need to find another moderator who will tolerate your indelicate approach.

I won't. I'll happily leave it here.

It was a fine personal, and one that lead to insights and congrats about feedback. Discussion, in essense. This is a forum for such.

It was a fine personal. It's also now showing you as not having a good manner for handling things that don't go your way. You COULD simple apologize for calling me childish names, and I could then simply copy your thread, and allow you to add to it, thereby bringing it ABOVE the mess made with Paperbag's input and my responses.

Or not. I suffer nothing either way.

 

[Curmudgeon]

That's right....

No woman responded; it does not change the fact that this was a serious request. All three of you knuckleheads - that means you, too, moderator - should never have been on my post.

Leave the man to his abject rejection in peace.

 

[billylee]

dvnc wrote: "you'll need to find another moderator"

Exactly. The other moderators should know that you hijacked someone's polite thread - several times - for your personal argument with someone else, and then continued to do so after a legitimate complaint.

 

[Curmudgeon]

Well.....

dvnc wrote: "you'll need to find another moderator"

Exactly. The other moderators should know that you hijacked someone's polite thread - several times - for your personal argument with someone else, and then continued to do so after a legitimate complaint.

It wasn't like you were getting any responses, anyway......