She doesn't last long... as a ler :-(

[luv2tikl]

First off, I'm a guy who loves to be tickled. Seems like a rarity around here, I know... but here I am!

I also love tickling, but... My girl isn't very ticklish when tied up; it's the weirdest thing. I can tickle the shit out of her untied, but as soon as she's tied... Her ticklishness decreases by like 50%, if not more. It's a real bummer.

No problem, she can still tickle me, right? Yeah, except she can rarely last longer than fifteen minutes...

Yeah, I know, that's quite a while... but, I just can't help but always finding myself wanting more :-( I want to be tickled to my limits, or... at least for 45 minutes to an hour, just to see what that's like.

We've tried talking about it, and she says "I don't mind tickling you, I just don't want to tickle you forever."

I appreciate her willingness to partake in my kink, I really do... But what am I supposed to do when I want more than she's willing to give? Do I just deal with it? It's so hard... All of my fantasies involve intense tickle torture, the likes of which she doesn't want to administer... And this is someone who I might likely end up marrying (we've been together for a while) and, that being the case, being sexually exclusive to (tickling is, in large part, sexual to me).

I don't know what to do >.< I hate feeling like my kink is a burden on her, but I just don't know... We've tried talking about it, and it comes down to "sorry, I just don't want to." Am I screwed?

Are there any reasonable suggestions for this shitty problem of mine?

 

[rhiannon]

There is the problem of most lees who have a partner who is not into it. The partner will do it, but without much enthusiasm. Honestly, there is not much you can do about it. You can't force someone to be interested in something that they are not!

Maybe trading works....one hour of tickling for you, one hour of whatever she likes for her.

 

[luv2tikl]

Maybe trading works....one hour of tickling for you, one hour of whatever she likes for her.

She likes plain old sex... There's no way I can last that long, lol

 

[gypsyhanna]

Aw that sounds like all the relationships I've been in. It made me really sad, honestly. To me it showed a lack of consideration...it would be one thing if she couldn't stand being tickled and you were asking to torture her. But this is just asking for her to do something simple for you...I assume it isn't taxing on her physically (if she had arthritis in her hands or something that would be different), it's just the simple matter of her not wanting to spend an hour of her time doing something unless she is getting something out of it. It's selfish. Sorry I know that's not the best answer, but to me that's a big red flag if you are wanting someone who will be giving and selfless in your relationship. Now...keep in mind that it has to go both ways...maybe she feels she isn't getting something done for her that she likes. It might not hurt to ask her about that in a separate conversation just to see if she becomes more willing to please you when you show that you are willing to devote your attention to something just for her.

 

[luv2tikl]

Aw that sounds like all the relationships I've been in. It made me really sad, honestly. To me it showed a lack of consideration...it would be one thing if she couldn't stand being tickled and you were asking to torture her. But this is just asking for her to do something simple for you...I assume it isn't taxing on her physically (if she had arthritis in her hands or something that would be different), it's just the simple matter of her not wanting to spend an hour of her time doing something unless she is getting something out of it. It's selfish. Sorry I know that's not the best answer, but to me that's a big red flag if you are wanting someone who will be giving and selfless in your relationship. Now...keep in mind that it has to go both ways...maybe she feels she isn't getting something done for her that she likes. It might not hurt to ask her about that in a separate conversation just to see if she becomes more willing to please you when you show that you are willing to devote your attention to something just for her.

She claims that she gets physically tired of it after a while... She said once that her fingers were tired. Though a foreign concept to me (IE, if I had a girl as ticklish as me under my fingertips, I'd never get tired!), I guess I can maybe understand this from a vanilla... but IDK. Plain and simple, I think she gets bored with it.

And, like I said before, she really just likes sex... in fact, I think she likes sex more than me, which again, is probably odd. And yeah, she probably isn't getting enough because I begin to feel less obligated to give her what she wants when I can't get what I want. It's a vicous cycle, I guess :-/

 

[rhiannon]

It doesn't have to be something sexual....it could also be housework! 🙂

 

[luv2tikl]

It doesn't have to be something sexual....it could also be housework! 🙂

lol. Funny you should mention that because I've actually already considered this... We've got a big ass pile of dishes right now, I might just have to offer to do a few loads and see if maybe she obliges then.... lol.

But still... The drawback there would probably be that it would only happen once. I can't go offering to do housework every time I wan't sexy-time. (well I guess I could in theory, but the point is I shouldn't have to :-( )

 

[rhiannon]

The thing is, it will never be the same with someone who is not into it. It's like forcing the person to eat something that they don't like.

 

[scorpionldr]

in the case of the "not ticklish when in bondage" situation.......some girls just have fear towards the idea, or their bodies aren't in comfortable, vulnerable positions. What have you tried (position wise)

as for the length of a tickler lasting......I myself am a pretty mellow dude. There's only been a few times I've gone a good hour of playing with someone amidst other activities. She likes you, so who gives a shit?