I'm having a situation with a friend that I would appreciate advice on.
As everyone who knows me is aware, I usually have nothing but good things to say about my two best friends, Barney and Adam. They are critical people in my life, and both they, and their families, have been most supportive through the ordeal I went through with my mom, both while she was sick, and since she passed away.
This past Sunday was the anniversary of Barney's father's passing. Barney was understandably upset. He lives in my building, as I've posted before, and called me, needing to see me for support. He spent many hours with me in my apartment that night, leaving after 1am, and also making it necessary for me to change a call with my friend Adam that night. Justifiable, considering the circumstances, and something both Adam and I understand.
As people who have read my post about my mom's death are aware, next Saturday, the 19th, would have been her 75th birthday. In many ways, the day will be most upsetting for many reasons. One, it would be the first time she would have had a birthday since her passing. Second, last year on her birthday we had every reason to believe she was cancer free. Third, it would have been a milestone with it being her 75th bday.
Barney knew my mom for 20 years. They spent a lot of time together over the years. She was very kind to him. He knows that next Saturday would have been her 75th, and that I'm going to be very emotional. He originally had plans to see his friend Paul next Saturday. I have no issues with Paul, and while we dont know each other that well, I had asked Barney if I could join Paul and him next Saturday.
Barney came back to me with the answer that Paul wants to see him for dinner alone, for whatever reason, but that Barney could spend some time with me until dinner time. When my friend Adam and my relatives heard this, they couldnt understand why I simply couldnt join Paul and him for dinner. I never intrude on their time together, but, to me, this is a special situation on what would be a difficult day for me, especially since I changed my plans, and spent time until the wee hours of the morning, comforting Barney on what was a difficult day for him.
I try to keep the issues with my two best friends to a minimum, because, I know they care about me basically, and also considering the issues I have with my dad and his family, and what happened with my ex best friend. I dont like to be a "nitpicker", but this bothers me.
I'm just seeking advice about this. Am I right to feel upset/left out for being told I can only spend up to a certain time with Barney, on a day that will be tough for me, especially since theres no reason why I cant join them for dinner.. or.. is the fact that hes going to spend part of the day with me, enough?
Thoughts? Thanks.
As everyone who knows me is aware, I usually have nothing but good things to say about my two best friends, Barney and Adam. They are critical people in my life, and both they, and their families, have been most supportive through the ordeal I went through with my mom, both while she was sick, and since she passed away.
This past Sunday was the anniversary of Barney's father's passing. Barney was understandably upset. He lives in my building, as I've posted before, and called me, needing to see me for support. He spent many hours with me in my apartment that night, leaving after 1am, and also making it necessary for me to change a call with my friend Adam that night. Justifiable, considering the circumstances, and something both Adam and I understand.
As people who have read my post about my mom's death are aware, next Saturday, the 19th, would have been her 75th birthday. In many ways, the day will be most upsetting for many reasons. One, it would be the first time she would have had a birthday since her passing. Second, last year on her birthday we had every reason to believe she was cancer free. Third, it would have been a milestone with it being her 75th bday.
Barney knew my mom for 20 years. They spent a lot of time together over the years. She was very kind to him. He knows that next Saturday would have been her 75th, and that I'm going to be very emotional. He originally had plans to see his friend Paul next Saturday. I have no issues with Paul, and while we dont know each other that well, I had asked Barney if I could join Paul and him next Saturday.
Barney came back to me with the answer that Paul wants to see him for dinner alone, for whatever reason, but that Barney could spend some time with me until dinner time. When my friend Adam and my relatives heard this, they couldnt understand why I simply couldnt join Paul and him for dinner. I never intrude on their time together, but, to me, this is a special situation on what would be a difficult day for me, especially since I changed my plans, and spent time until the wee hours of the morning, comforting Barney on what was a difficult day for him.
I try to keep the issues with my two best friends to a minimum, because, I know they care about me basically, and also considering the issues I have with my dad and his family, and what happened with my ex best friend. I dont like to be a "nitpicker", but this bothers me.
I'm just seeking advice about this. Am I right to feel upset/left out for being told I can only spend up to a certain time with Barney, on a day that will be tough for me, especially since theres no reason why I cant join them for dinner.. or.. is the fact that hes going to spend part of the day with me, enough?
Thoughts? Thanks.
