So, advice would be appreciated.

[tigress]

Long time fetishist, cutting a very long story short.
I am a 23 year old female, lee, pansexual, in a relationship with a man who is open to stuff (we had a polyamorous relationship where I was with him and a woman, he was fine with it because it made me happy, etc) and so not jealous nor has a problem with any of this at all.


So, I'm new to my college, and I meet this girl. Again, making a long story as short as possible, she's one of those playful tickle your friends type. She knows I'm really ticklish, and often has tickle fights with me or just attacks me. And score, she's bi... so I have a crush on her, but would never try anything relationship wise because she's with a guy and he's kinda paranoid/over-protective and she loves him and I would never want to rock that boat because she's an awesome best friend. So I'm not asking like "how can I get it on with her" because I'm not looking to make this anything more than what it already is, a close caring friendship.

But oh god, she tickles me.
A lot.
And I really like it.
:blush

We went on a field trip to NYC yesterday to go to art museums, and on the bus (we were the very back of the bus, I was pinned against the window, and honestly kinda planned that...) she had a few quick tickles, tickle fights, and one instance where she wanted to make me smile for a picture so she was tickling me for (god what seemed like a long time!) until she got a shot she liked.

So, I'm starting to feel like... I don't know... almost guilty because I am getting sexual pleasure from something she's doing, as a friend playing around, completely unaware of my fetish. I feel like I should tell her something like "you might not want to do that, I kinda like it", and my boyfriend always teases me that he's going to tell her I like it and that she should help him tickle me (god that would be a dream come true!)

Should I try to explain my fetish to her and see if she feels comfortable continuing (and probably looking back at all the times she's tickled me and get weirded out and not want to be close friends anymore), or should I keep my fetish a secret and feel lucky because a lot of people could only dream of this kind of "problem"?

 

[Journia]

Don't tell her, let it roll for a bit, then get your man to tickle you while you're in her presence, and have him say, "Come on, she seriously likes it!" or something to that effect.

Otherwise, just let it roll.

 

[ElFewja]

If you're uncomfortable with the situation, as you seem to be, say as much; you don't need to say the fetish so much as you just need to say you're into her, you really enjoy the physical touching/playing around, but you don't want to ruin her relationship, so maybe you guys should stop? Because that is exactly what you said in the post.

Except, I mean, you don't want it to.

You can handle this without saying the words tickle fetish, though, since that's not exactly the problem. Maybe it's the root of it, but it's not entirely relevant, right?

I feel like I might not have been 100% clear in this post; let me know if it didn't make sense.

Etc~

 

[MaxDragon]

She's bi, and she tickles you. I think she likes it too. Maybe say something like, "sorry, but when you touch me like that its sort of exciting", or even "it kinda turns me on." See how she reacts to that.

And you are all young (I'm 50), believe me, the odds are slim that either of you will still be with the same person after a few years. So I say either go for it now, or be patient and wait for a chance for it to happen later. Boyfriends and girlfriends leave, but best friends stay together.

Good luck.

 

[dalekfire]

I'm wondering how much the "turning you on" element in and of itself is affecting the relationship, in general? It's entirely possible (and very common) to have a fetish that a friend unknowingly feeds, and yet the relationship stays healthy and on that level - simply friends. For example, I have a pretty strong foot fetish, and I have a bunch of friends with very delicious-looking feet. Yes, I do get turned on a lot by this. However, despite this, I've never once felt like "cheating on my girlfriend" over it, and it hasn't made my relationships with my friends any more difficult than usual.

However, if it did get to the point where I'm way too distracted by said feet (or tickling, or whatever), then perhaps it's time to address the problem, or find some way to develop more discipline.

Otherwise, fetishes are fetishes. We can't help the feelings brought about by them. So, you shouldn't feel guilty that your friend (and crush) makes you feel the way you feel - just as long as it's not going to cause trouble down the road. But of course, if it does look like it'll affect things for the negative, then I'd suggest you tell her.