Sobriety is a bitch let me tell you....

[CheshireCatNY]

One of the first steps I must take to get my life in order is to end my long running love affair with mary jane. Sure it may be funny online....that "wacky pothead" and his crazy ideas....but its just a tad debilitating in my real life.....

Long ago (mostly during my time in college in Philly) I was quite the drugee....aside from Weed, my favorite poisons of choice were hallucinagens like Acid and Psychotropic Mushrooms which I did in great excess. Part of the reason all of my art always has such bold, striking colors and "trippy" visuals is because the way in which I percieve color and form has been significantly altered mostly due to heavy hallucinagenics usage. I quit the harder stuff once I came home but too this day I still have residual hallucinations and acid flashbacks every so often. The wacky tobacky was like the crutch I used to keep myself "balanced" in the absense of more effective substances. I refused to take up drinking since theres a long history of angry drunks in my family bloodline and often times such behavior is hereditary.

I've been 100% clean and sober for 7 days now.......its really hard........you may notice the little pot leaves missing from my signature.....

However let me just state for the record that I still fully support the marijuana legalization movement believing that the U.S. government really has no medical or scientific grounds to keep it illegal, only public opinion (we can all thank William Randolph Hearst for that!). Buddhism teaches that everything in moderation can be enjoyed safely, which is what I believe, but unfortunately I went a bit past moderation and abused it. This is where the term "drug ABUSE" comes in. If you abuse it, you get screwed and IT becomes your master.....and having traumatic levels of stress in your life doesn't help things much either....

Hopefully this will help with my productivity level in what I contribute to the tickling community as well as all my art in general. I have so many unfinished projects lying around its not even funny anymore. Lets not forget the comic I've been trying to complete since 2002!!! LOL

......of course now I've become a chain smoker (cigarettes) but thats another matter entirely.........😛

PS: hope this doesnt change peoples opinion of me....I'm really a nice guy! LOL

 

[XxMystxX]

Actually, quoting your ID tag, "we're all alittle mad".

We all have our choices, problems, habits and it's these things that make up the many crosses of life, which we carry to the grave. If we carry them faithfully, we'll always make the right decisions in the end.

You're an aspiring artist and a damn, nice guy to boot. I'm sure your stay here will only become more pleasant without the assistance of trippy colors and tie-die moniters. However, I hope this won't affect your otherwise wonderful drawing skills, it wouldn't be your work without the "druggie touch".

Best of luck to you, Cheshire. I'll be here routing for you from Suffolk County.

P.S. Kill the cigs or they'll kill you.

P.S.2. Pardon the otherwise attrocious grammatical skills...it's...4 AM as you well know.

 

[Kalamos]

I've been 100% clean and sober for 7 days now.......its really hard........you may notice the little pot leaves missing from my signature.....

Clean and sober for *seven* days.

...

I've been clean and sober for much more than seven *years*... and it was... bah... dull.

Hope you had fun gulping magic shrooms down and all.
At least you have a handy excuse for any blackout and loss of memory.

I can't remember what I had for dinner [when? yesterday? tomorrow? meh...] and I can't even blame pot.

Welcome to the world of perennial anger, where you're likely to punch the monitor or the next people too.

...

Heh... for a moment I thought this thread was all about your marital status.
Then it dawned on me...

...

Oh well, good luck.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

You've had your fun, now pay for it.

Treat everything you've experienced, good and bad, as a debt you owe yourself.

You owe it to your better self to get better.

You owe it to your better self to stay off it.

And you owe it to your better self to experience life in the full, without these personal demons you have created.

You've humored them and their appeal long enough. You are far better and worthy than you've allowed yourself to be. Its time to take charge, because nobody else will, except them. And the last thing you need is a relapse.

Theres this old parable:

A man cleaned his house, setting everything in order. The demon who dwelled there left for a time as it couldn't stand the cleanliness. Time passed and the demon returned to see the man's house cleaner than ever. So the demon, angered by the man's determination, left and brought back seven of his demonic friends and together they took up residence in the man's house once more, and the man was unable to clean again.

The man's house is his soul/body, if that wasn't obvious.

While this isn't meant to discourage you, it is important to understand that you have to be rid of ALL of your addictions, not just some of them or the ones you think are benign enough to control or the ones that you think may not do you any harm in the immediate future. A clean house can only remain clean if all remnants are swept away. And while it is possible to co-exist with the self you create when you are under the influence of any of these things, together they are stronger and work together to undermine you, your confidence, your security and your worth. Not necessarily so with smoking, but even that is unnecessary.

In a very real way, you are in for the fight of your life, because you are up against the worst foe there is- yourself. Its so strong because it has accumulated all these years. These addictions are your alter-ego manifested and I'm very happy to see you are confronting....you...not the real you, the fake you that doesn't deserve to exist.

If you have been stubborn enough to not become a lush, then you can be stubbornly determined about these things too.

You already know what you have to do, so do it. You are perfectly capable of doing so. And God bless you in this endeavor.

 

[Dussicar]

I'm happy that you discovered your problem while it was still early.

I started out just like you. First it was pot. Then LSD. Then, as my addictions and escapism grew worse, I moved on to harder stuff(I'm talking the kind that tends to clean out bank accounts).
My addictions grew so bad that my using increased to suicidal proportions. I would start with my drug of choice and refuse to stop until it was all gone or I suffered an overdose(whichever came first).

When I started I was high about 20 to 30 percent of my day. As the years went on, it increased to 65 to 70% And finally it peaked out at 90 to 98%. I would use anything from pharmasuticles to cold medication if I couldn't find anything real.

My only goal was to get high. I had NO other plan. I knew at that time that I was wasting my life and that I was a pathetic shell of my former self. I used to excel at academics, had a near photographic memory, and was charismatic to the point that everyone in school knew me and liked me very much. No longer.

I am now 29 years old. I have nothing. Most of those friends are gone as well. Thankfully I still have plenty of friends that have stuck with me throughout the years, but by-and-large, the friends that I SHOULD have are gone. I either pushed them away or fucked them over.

I'm clean now. Aside from drinking now and then.

I know how hard it's going to be for you. It might be in your best interests to go to NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS meetings. Because I guarantee It will get worse before it gets better. Trust me. If I learned any thing from twelve years of self destructive using is that you can rarely do it alone. These people are addicts like you. They will listen and work their asses off to help you.

If you want to talk about anything Feel free to PM me.

CHEERS, MAN. 😀

 

[MaxDragon]

Personally, I embraced pot with such a passion that I grew it myself, sold it, and lived happily off the money and smoked as much as I wanted. I was in a paradise that lasted for ten years. Then one day, due to a friend's incredible stupidity, it abruptly ended and I found myself on probation. I can tell you, after smoking for over 20 years, that the first month without was hard, but it got much easier after that. Hang in there.
By the way, I'm trying to sell my knowlege since I'm broke now:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=ADME:L:LCA:US:11&item=4570111448

 

[sole seeker1]

I've been 100% clean and sober for 7 days now.......its really hard....

:happy: CONGRATULATIONS! :happy:

Just take it one day at a time. On really bad days, take it a few minutes at a time. Like Red-Green says, "I'm pullin' for ya! We're all in this together."

 

[Cbarton]

You can do it Cheshire...may of us have faced addictions and licked them. You're on my prayer list...

 

[deac956611]

Hey, the best is yet to come. I have been sober for ten years now and it is a blast I tell you. Good for you.

 

[Hiryu]

Stay away from the Tobacco, Ches. That shit will make you feel old and weak. It steals your stamina and makes breating a bitch. I've been smoking for 7 years and stopping is near impossible. Stay with the weed. If I knew someone who could hook me up with some good weed every week, I would be smoking it instead. Not telling you to abuse the weed but, don't abandon it either.