St Patty's........ Limirick Tyme!

[Illtcklu]

There once was a man named Kent
whose dick was so long that it bent
to save him the trouble....
he'd stick it in double
and instead of cumming he went!


There once was a man named McCleaver
who had intercourse with a beaver
well the result of that fuck...
a canvas back duck
three canoes and a golden retriever!

 

[Ignatz]

There once was a maid of Dundee
Who was raped by an ape in a tree.
The result was quite horrid,
All ass and no forehead,
Three balls and a purple goatee.


Nymphomaniacal Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And her asshole just outside of Dallas.


There was a young man of Saskatchewan
Whose pecker was truly gargantuan,
Just right for large *****s
And small dinosaurs,
And sufficiently rough to scratch a match upon.

 

[Michael514]

There once was a man named Finnigan
who was let out of jail to begin again
he robbed his brother
he even stole from his mother
so back in jail he was in again.

 

[Illtcklu]

There once was a gal from Sydney
who could take it clear up to the kidney

well a guy from Quebec
shoved it up to her neck

He had a long one now didn't he?

 

[Illtcklu]

There once was a gal from Decater
who got laid by an old alligator

the result of that screw
well, we never knew

cause after he laid her he ate her!


There once was a guy named Ed Tanner
who could control his gas in some manner

well he tried and he tried
and one night he died

while farting the Star Spangled Banner!


ps sorry I don't think I can do the dirty ones!!!

 

[General Zod]

There once was a man from Boston
Who owned a little Austin

He had room for his ass

And a gallon of gas

His balls hung out

So he lost 'em

 

[Mastertank1]

okay

I knew a young lady named Smyth
Whose virtue was largely a myth
she said try as I can,
I have not met a man
whom it's fun to be virtuous wyth!

(I know, I know! Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!)

Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[milagros317]

There was a young man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

Said he with a grin,
Wiping cum from his chin,

"If my ear were a ****, I could fuck it."

 

[Illtcklu]

There once was a man from Nantucket
who kept all his money in a bucket

his daughter named Nan
ran off with a man

and as for the bucket Nan- tuk -it!


I sat with the dutchess at tea

it was as I thought it would be

from her abdominal
came noises phenominal

and everyone thought it was me!


Well I sat with the dutchess at tea

she said do you fart when you pee

I replied with some wit
do you belch when you shit

and said that's one up for me!!!

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

There was a young lady named Rose,
With erogenous zones in her toes.

She remained onanistic​

Til a foot-fetishistic​

Young man became one of her beaux.

 

[natural tickler]

There once was a man of Medrass,
who's balls were made of fine brass,
so in stormy weather,
they both clanked together,
and sparks shot out of his ass!!!

There once was a woman of Tutten,
whose tastes grew perverted and rotten,
she cared not for steaks,
or for pastries and cakes,
but lived upon penis au graten!!!

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

Plea

Oh, my darling, don't say no!
On the sofa you must go!
Petticoat up, and down with your drawers!
You tickle mine and I'll tickle yours.

 

[natural tickler]

that is funny, Doc

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

that is funny, Doc

Thanks N.T.! I found both that one and the one I posted further above in a book of dirty limericks. I thought they both fit well with this site.

 

[natural tickler]

yeah, I got mine from watching Leprechaun 3 😱

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

yeah, I got mine from watching Leprechaun 3 😱

Gotta love the Leprechuan!