Whoever it was that said this guy is a reflection of all men, just please stop having opinions.
As for the topic.... this is a very complex issue rooted in deep-seated psychological issues and varying types of fear. If you've ever heard that old philosophical question about the "unstoppable force vs the immovable object", then the pairings in a domestically violent relationship are often the emotional equivalent.
Generally speaking (and this is for a male perpetrator/female victim dynamic), you have someone with a Ray Rice mindset, often bullied or abused themselves (FRIGHTENINGLY OFTEN) in their childhood, and who repeat the behavior due to the emotional and mental damage they sustained from their own household torture. They witnessed daddy slap around mommy, so it must be okay, right? That's what they've been groomed to believe. On the other end, there is the woman, who unlike what you see in movies, is more likely a victim of childhood abuse as well, hence the mentality that causes her to repeatedly seek out either the same man or similar men. For women, their outlook on the situation usually varies more than men. Some return to their unhealthy relationships because they've adopted the outright wrong belief that they somehow actually deserve the abuse and that it's no different than spanking a child. Some are threatened and beat so severely that (and this is the cruelest scenario) they are ungodly terrified of the consequences of upsetting their boyfriend/husband. Others have a more.... nihilistic view. Women like this, when you get down to the nitty-gritty, might explain that they've simply come to accept this aspect of their lives, and further believe that they've invested so much time into the relationship that it would pointless for them to end the relationship. It can be even harder for mothers, who sometimes feel (or honestly are) wholly dependent on their husbands financially.
For you and I, it seems clear and simple to just walk away. And we're right. But we're not dealing with whatever fucked up trauma and misguidance these people have been poisoned with that leads them to these unhealthy relationships. We're usually used to the hollywood idea of a woman with no troubled history suddenly trapped in a relationship and being too terrified to tell her brothers/father/law enforcement, but sadly there's usually a lot more going on.
This sort of plays a role in why it's such recurring problem in society. Unfortunately, the behavior is seldom corrected when compared to how frequently it's reported. As someone mentioned earlier, it honestly is all too common for the charges to be dismissed by the victim party. Why? A little time for the victim to cool their heads and that dark symbiosis takes a hold of them, and the fear of their boyfriend (and with him her and her children's food and financial stability) being taken away suddenly outweighs the peace of not having him.
For the most part, these are overwhelmingly going to be male on female. But you'll just have to trust me when I say, there are women out there who beat their husbands. I have seen these situations. They are no less ugly and tragic than the alternative. In fact, a lot of these women are savvy enough to default to a weapon because they know inherently they lack the physical strength to do damage hand-to-hand. That's when you see things like hot grease or knives or, oh say, a .45 to the head.
The problem persists perhaps mostly because of cultural differences. Consider this; the reason some countries don't seem to have this as such a hot-button issue is because what we call domestic violence is often what they call "courtship." That and, as clear as this is all might be to you and I, many female victims genuinely don't know that there's help out there for them, they don't know where to go. As for men, they're often more ashamed of admitting to being beaten than the actual fact that they are beaten in the first place.
The best thing society can collectively do is be aware, learn and do all they can to be the opposite. Speak up for those who won't, if you know someone who is or might be dealing with an abusive relationship. Even if they protest, fuck that, do the right thing and speak up. They might tell you that you're complicating their situation, but remember that it's their error for treating this like it's acceptable. That mentality has a ripple effect that places other people in greater danger. If you have to piss off a few people to save 100, then do it. Don't be a Joe Paterno. (Yeah I said it, fuck that guy.)
Okay den... positive closing statements....
Love your wives, love your husbands. Love your children. Break bad cycles and implement good cycles.
..... and since we're on this site anyway..... if you're that upset with your wife...... tickle her feet :3
And if you're upset with your husband..... make him stand in the corner. That's what my girlfriend does to me.
