Sub/Lee Dom/Ler

[BlackDragonScar]

I wonder if many people actually know the real difference in a Sub and Lee or a Dom and Ler. I know there are differcenes but I wonder if everyone truely knows the difference?

 

[Nedstacey2]

Sure, sub, 'lee (or lee as you gave it), dom and 'ler/Ler are all clipped forms, from submissive, ticklee, dominant (not dominate, which the prior term is often confused with) and tickler, respectively. Of these, sub and dom are examples of apocope, in which only the initial syllable or elements of the original word are retained, while (')lee and (')ler are examples of apheresis, meaning only the last syllable or equivalent final elements of the original word are kept.

And of course within the BDSM community, terms signifying a "topping" role often have their first letter capitalized, e.g., Dom and Ler, as an indication of such a status within a "D/s" or D/s-type relationship.

[If anybody's still awake at this point, let this be a lesson to you: never let a linguist get to talking shop, unless you're truly in need of general anesthesia.]

But seriously, I suspect you really wanted a response like this: from my limited experience in the practice, being a 'ler means I do the tickling, preferably on a 'lee who desires to be tickled, and being a Dom, albeit a miserable excuse for one, means I like to do "domly" things to my 'lee, who may or may not be a sub but if she is she'll yield to my will by such things as agreeing to be tied up to make the tickling a more tortuous experience for her, and some of the things I prevail upon her to do or endure may not even directly involve being tickled. Indeed, some people view tickling itself as a form of dominance and being willingly tickled in turn as an act of submission, though I suppose this might engender some debate.

A lot less confident in the above account than I am with my even more tiresome inside-baseball linguistic stuff. Wonder if an unfortunate sub anywhere has ever been deliberately bored to death? Doesn't sound like a terribly exciting way to go, but if any sadistic-bastard Dom could pull it off it'd probably be me. :sleep1:

 

[TKLVR181]

'Dom' and 'sub' being much more broad terms than ler/lee. Ler/lee might be things you like doing/having done to you as a Dom/Sub. Dom and Sub signify more kinks than just tickling (or can do, at least).

It will be interesting to see how many people are surprised at the distinction/didn't know of it. I've been kink-self-aware for over a decade now, so the terms are far from new to me--but it's an interesting distinction to make for those who might be newer to the scene.

 

[TicklishKitten]

It's more entertaining to find the ones who think everyone fits into the category of either dominant or submissive. Or in some cases, dominant or slave. It's like they learned the words exist and believe there's nothing outside of those two categories.

 

[Nedstacey2]

now for something not so completely different

I wonder too how often some women at places like FetLife may identify themselves as a "Mistress," i.e., the female equivalent of a M/master, that is, a lady who takes on subs/slaves/bottoms as a Domme or Toppe (O.K., I just made that last one up), but really have in mind the older meaning of mistress that was more prevalent before BDSM became mainstream (<--and Lord, is that a topic for conjecture), namely 'a woman who has an affair or other romantic relationship with an already partnered or married man'.

So maybe a lot of these "mistresses" aren't looking to impact-play on some guy or gal, they just want to hook up. But as a certified 'ler/Ler, as soon as I see they call themselves a "Mistress" I just swipe left.

 

[MistressValerie1]

Hi, Nedstacey, and welcome to the TT. As a non-native English speaker who loves the English language, I find this discussion most interesting.

I have tended to be a little careless about using the terms sub and lee interchangeably, as well as using my own generic top/bottom terms 'er and 'ee. My "Mistress" nickname originated from a chatroom many years ago where I acted as a "webmistress," helping people with technical issues, though I use it here and at my eponymous website as a lighthearted take on its BDSM meaning.

Cheers,

 

[Nedstacey2]

@MistressValerie, thank you so much for your kind welcome. I am honored by your attention.

Hi, Nedstacey, and welcome to the TT. As a non-native English speaker who loves the English language, I find this discussion most interesting.

That's really cool; what is your first language, if I may ask? As a newbie here I haven't yet seen too many of your posts, but you certainly appear to write like a native--better than a lot of us, in fact.

In a past life I actually taught English as a second/foreign language and still consult in the field, but it's rare to have learners who "love" the language. To the contrary, as I have argued elsewhere it is my considered professional opinion that English is a "sociopathic"-type language. (Then again, maybe it's just that the rest of world is jealous--woops, guess I've been watching too many Trump rallies on Fox News. 😛atriot🙂

My "Mistress" nickname originated from a chatroom many years ago where I acted as a "webmistress," helping people with technical issues, though I use it here and at my eponymous website as a lighthearted take on its BDSM meaning.

🙂 Of course, that makes a lot of sense. And I know that the terms W/webmaster and W/webmistress and their usual job descriptions have strictly speaking nothing to do with BDSM, but some the sites I've been forced to try to navigate over the years bear all the traces of having been deviously constructed by demented sadists, even worse than Dilbert's Mordac.

 

[BlackDragonScar]

Welcome NedStacey, a pleasure to have you here 🙂

 

[Nedstacey2]

Welcome NedStacey, a pleasure to have you here 🙂

So very kind of you. Your and @MisstressValerie's warm welcomes right here in this thread mean more to me than I can express--quite a bar for someone as compulsively prolix as me. :43:

 

[BlackDragonScar]

well I think we had a introduction section but eh no hate here, enjoy your stay! and sorry i ate the cake

 

[MistressValerie1]

That's really cool; what is your first language, if I may ask? As a newbie here I haven't yet seen too many of your posts, but you certainly appear to write like a native--better than a lot of us, in fact.

In a past life I actually taught English as a second/foreign language and still consult in the field, but it's rare to have learners who "love" the language. To the contrary, as I have argued elsewhere it is my considered professional opinion that English is a "sociopathic"-type language. (Then again, maybe it's just that the rest of world is jealous--woops, guess I've been watching too many Trump rallies on Fox News. 😛atriot🙂

Thank you! My first language is Cambodian (Western) Cham, though I picked up bits and pieces of Thai and Tagalog during my years as a refugee. I started learning English around age 13 and eventually became proficient enough to teach ELL classes in the US. Interestingly, one of the reasons I was interested in chat rooms was the opportunity to practice writing and reading English in a fast-paced situation.

 

[BlackDragonScar]

You both speak it well 🙂

 

[Nedstacey2]

and sorry i ate the cake

Oh cool, so you have cake parties here too? Sorry I arrived too late for the last one, but if they serve ice cream with it I'll never leave. :18:

 

[Nedstacey2]

My first language is Cambodian (Western) Cham, though I picked up bits and pieces of Thai and Tagalog during my years as a refugee.

So cool! During my first year of grad school I knew a fellow linguistics student who was Cambodian, and in fact our department there at Cornell University had on its faculty Franklin Huffman, a leading scholar on the standard Cambodian language.

But very sorry to hear that you were once a refugee, even if it broadened your language abilities a bit. Sometimes lost in the current discussion about immigrants and refugees that is flaring not just in the U.S. but in many parts of the world is an understanding of how traumatic it really is to be a refugee. Indeed, by definition refugees don't leave their homes voluntarily, and most would rather just stay put and try to tough out the circumstances in their beloved homeland until that simply becomes impossible. In my career I've taught refugees and admired the strength almost all of them showed in trying to make the best of their new lives. The largest groups of refugees I taught English to were Vietnamese "boat people" and their descendants and Jewish émigrés from the former Soviet Union.

I started learning English around age 13 and eventually became proficient enough to teach ELL classes in the US.

Impressive! I imagine wherever you taught you were regarded as a valuable resource. 🙂

Interestingly, one of the reasons I was interested in chat rooms was the opportunity to practice writing and reading English in a fast-paced situation.

Sure, scholarship in the various forms of online communication has exploded in recent years. I bet there's a lot of you've learned about the dynamics of chat rooms and online fora, enough to maybe write a paper or book about and garner for yourself even more educational glory. I'm trying to get another Ph.D. in Snapchat Studies myself. [Damn, TT doesn't have a rim shot or "badda-bing" emoji. 🙁 ]

 

[MistressValerie1]

Sure, scholarship in the various forms of online communication has exploded in recent years. I bet there's a lot of you've learned about the dynamics of chat rooms and online fora, enough to maybe write a paper or book about and garner for yourself even more educational glory. I'm trying to get another Ph.D. in Snapchat Studies myself. [Damn, TT doesn't have a rim shot or "badda-bing" emoji. 🙁 ]

The thought of doing an academic paper had crossed my mind when chat was in its heyday around 2002. I sometimes regret not having tried it :unsure

 

[Nedstacey2]

The thought of doing an academic paper had crossed my mind when chat was in its heyday around 2002. I sometimes regret not having tried it :unsure

Understandable. But the rapid evolution of online communication is what makes its study as an academic field so potentially fertile; it's practically begging for more scholarship, and you seem quite qualified to delve into it.

After all, not much more light can be shone on the chats in Beowulf. :beatdeadhorse5: But what I wouldn't give to have been a Teutonic insect on the wall of that mead hall.

 

[Nedstacey2]

Also, @blackdragon, pertinent to the topic posed in your original thread-starter here, I just saw a reference to this relevant article in my FetLife ads feed (amazing the stuff that catches the corner of my eye just as I'm closing a window).