Telling them about your fetish, who is it easier for, ler's or lees

[Vyse]

Imagine this:
Person A has a tickling fetish and is now going out with someone, person B. Person B is the typical outsider to the tickling world, knows nothing about it. Person A wants to tell person B that they have a ticklish fetish and want to indulge in this desire with person B. The question is who is it easier for? This may differ when it comes to gender so i guess their are two questions here.

Is it easier for a guy to say to his girlfriend " I have a tickling fetish and i want to indulge in it by tickling you!"

Or

Is it easier for a guy to say to his girlfirend " I have a tickling fetish and I want YOU to tickle ME!"

i dont mean actually saying it exactly like this but when it comes to telling them what you like, who has it easier?

The reason i ask this is because I think it may differ because the girl might be more likely to be reluctant to the first one it because she might really hate being tickled and the less of self control etc.

However instead, if that same girl found out that her boyfriend wants her to tickle him and reduce him to a pile of giggles, i fail to see the reluctance to that request. The reaction to the first option is more understandable because the majority of people hate being tickled but as for the second one, why the heck wouldnt someone want to be the one initiating that kind of thing especially on someone who is asking for it (litraly!)?

I realise that either way, the outsider may find it a tickling fetish unusual, its the part after that where he tells her what he actually wants to do involving this fetish, which one is more likely to be turned down, being tickled or doing the tickling? Or is there no difference at all?



Part B of the question is: would the answer to this overal question be different if the roles were reversed and the girl is the one telling the boyfriend about her desire?

Id like to hear what you people here think about this, cheers.

 

[nessonite1]

Easier for the 'lee...for both men and women.

 

[-Kunoke-]

Most definately easier for the lee. I mean, even a guy who doesnt get TURNED ON by tickling I'm sure would have no problem with it. Guys tickle girls all the time, and girls tickle guys a lot, not as much, but a lot. I see it all the time. With the ler, you arn't really sure what the person will think of you. You could take that chance and if they are okay with it they might even help you out a little 😉

BUT, you could also get rejected and shunned, and all that horrible stuff. It can be quite a gamble. Lers pretty much have to choose wisely who they tell if they want to avoid bad situations. Lees, especially guys, I'm sure could get a girl to tickle them if they asked. It's an issue of power.

That's how I feel anyway. 🙄

 

[gilmourwaters]

definitely easier for the lee

 

[Machinehead]

I think it is alot simpler to have the lee admit some people like that cause they can use it for control. I aminly a ler and barley tell anyone about my fedish I just end up tickling them and som e how hope they can figfure it out with me tickling alot. Instead of seeing there face when you tell them like seeing there action.

 

[mytoesrticklish]

Being A Lee is Great

:happy: Hi everyone. I just joined TT and I just want to say hello. I also want to say it was easy for me to tell my bf that I love having my feet and toes tickled. Yet, he loves my feet, so it has been really wonderful so far!

 

[jj82277]

It would be easiest to not be dating an outsider to begin with. In my experience from either side of the spectrum, one can only sympathize with our enthusiasm. a female outsider will not be that great of a ler, unless she turns out to be a ler. it is impossible to change people. just sort through them to find who you want. there are billions to choose from, and psychologists estimate about 5,000 that perfectly fit you.

 

[tkltoes]

Im going to journey out onto a limb and say the opposite of popular opinion on this issue.

I think it would be easier to tell as a LER. The reason I say this is that in being a LEE, you have to almost make the request word for word "will you tickle me?" There is (as far as I know) no absolute proven way of enticing someone to tickle you, or letting them know that you like to be tickled without being blunt, which exposes your fetish 85% in one shot. A lot of people, (including me) prefer to expose it slowly. I've found it easier to both expose my interest in tickling, as well as ease someone else into it by "talking with my fingers". If you sneak in enough tickles at the right times, and places, they are bound to eventually find out. I have NEVER told this girl I know about my fetish, but one day she blew me COMPLETELY out of the water and said "you have some kind of tickle fetish dont you", and she thinks its totally cool too.

Now if the other person is not into getting tickled, then my theory is shot to hell. But I think you ultimately have more leverage as the LER.

 

[Ayla ny]

Im going to journey out onto a limb and say the opposite of popular opinion on this issue.

I think it would be easier to tell as a LER. The reason I say this is that in being a LEE, you have to almost make the request word for word "will you tickle me?" There is (as far as I know) no absolute proven way of enticing someone to tickle you, or letting them know that you like to be tickled without being blunt, which exposes your fetish 85% in one shot. A lot of people, (including me) prefer to expose it slowly. I've found it easier to both expose my interest in tickling, as well as ease someone else into it by "talking with my fingers". If you sneak in enough tickles at the right times, and places, they are bound to eventually find out. I have NEVER told this girl I know about my fetish, but one day she blew me COMPLETELY out of the water and said "you have some kind of tickle fetish dont you", and she thinks its totally cool too.

Now if the other person is not into getting tickled, then my theory is shot to hell. But I think you ultimately have more leverage as the LER.

that’s a really good point! and I’ll add (from first hand experience) that coming right out and saying, “will you tickle me?”, takes all of the fun right out of it.

 

[Vyse]

I think it would be easier to tell as a LER. The reason I say this is that in being a LEE, you have to almost make the request word for word "will you tickle me?" There is (as far as I know) no absolute proven way of enticing someone to tickle you, or letting them know that you like to be tickled without being blunt, which exposes your fetish 85% in one shot. A lot of people, (including me) prefer to expose it slowly. I've found it easier to both expose my interest in tickling, as well as ease someone else into it by "talking with my fingers". If you sneak in enough tickles at the right times, and places, they are bound to eventually find out. I have NEVER told this girl I know about my fetish, but one day she blew me COMPLETELY out of the water and said "you have some kind of tickle fetish dont you", and she thinks its totally cool too.

that’s a really good point! and I’ll add (from first hand experience) that coming right out and saying, “will you tickle me?”, takes all of the fun right out of it.

Ok, now we are getting somewhere, this is one of the reasons i put this question up in the first place. The answer may seem easy to the question, that the lee might have it easier due to the outsider wont mind dishing out the torture than recieving it, however.

I belive you may be right about the process of getting them to know about the fetish. Lers can take it slowly when letting them know about it instead of just dumping it on them straiight away, they can do that by simply sneaking a few tickles here and there because its what "normal" people do anyways as a joke and so they can get away with it and at the same time the outsider will begin to take the hint that he/she like doing that. But with a lee, how can they make someone tickle them. I guess one could sneak tickles in hopes of them giving it back to them but chances are that wont happen, some may tickle back and some may not, and so the only other way i can think of is just saying it, which you are right, your fetish will come out in the open right away. By the time person B fiigures out person A is a ler, it wont come as a suprise as they would have sensed the signals from all the playful tickling that person A kept sneaking in.

A lee however, has no such luck and has to go through that awkward shock factor and the risk of being looked at as weird, how the outsider will handle it is like fliping a coin.

Asking someone to tickle you would definatley suck the fun out of it, id like them to just do it becuase they like doing it and want to keep me looking over my shoulder constantly, but what else can you do to get at all, especially if they dont give it to you to begin with, if telling them is the only way then there is no choice right? (my head hurts)

 

[TickledToDeath]

Definitely easier for the LEE.
Sounds less........freaky to say "I love to be ticked" than it is to say how much you love tickling people!

TTD

 

[Vyse]

It seems that although a ler can avoid telling them straigt forward and instead take slowly with a few sneak tickles here and there.

When it comes to actually talking about it and dumping it on them in one single blow out of nowhere, it does seem that an outsider would be less reluctant to a lees request than to a ler. I think we can all agree on that, am i right?

Thanx for your views on this, if anyone else has anyviews, keep em coming.

 

[Tickleslave83]

Not sure. I'm a lee and haven't told anyone. I'd prefer to be with a really dominant girl very much into it. Ideally she would tell, not ask, tell, me you know I'm going to tickle you and your gonna sit there and take it! Depends on who your telling I think. Since it's a power thing to some degree it might be easier to ask to be the submissive. A guy telling a girl I really wanna tickle you til you scream migtht frighten her but a guy saying he'd love for her to tickle him gives her all the power and control so is less threatening. It's saying to her I trust you completely do as you like! At least I would hope so.

 

[Tickleslave83]

Or better yet as a lee you could offer her. Let me tickle you for one minute and you can tickle me as long as you like :laughing: .

 

[TKLVR181]

I'm a switch, and I've told, and let me tell you, it was a LOT easier saying "I like tickling people" than it was "I like to BE tickled". I nearly died of shame when I told--luckily the person I told was someone who loves me unconditionally. But I would up telling the WHOLE story, from what lers and lees are, to the fact that I'm a switch, to what that means, the whole shebang. It was a lot more humiliating telling about the leeing part.

I think it may be individual, though. For another switch, it might be harder admitting to being a ler. It's another case-by-case thing, I think. Just my $.02.

~K

 

[Violetta]

I'm gonna guess it really depends on the person. Karen, if you don't mind, I'd use as an example. After all, how hard was it to admit your desires as a lee to anyone, including yourself? I remember you used to get downright violent when someone would even suggest you liked being tickled. Yet for me, I'll tell nearly anyone I'm a sub, but claiming to ever want to be dominant? That was hard for me to do. It really isn't something that's cut and dry. People have different ideas which side has the mystique.

 

[TKLVR181]

I don't mind at all Sammi, and you're right--being a lee meant weakness in my eyes. It still does, to some degree, with some individuals (rather it's NOT anymore with those I trust). It really does depend on who you are, what you think, and what you've experianced.

~K

 

[Bashiku]

Well to Tobi it is same either way you turn it... When Tobi admitted he had rough time explaining it, some more rough time explaining it... then he finally gave up and gave them the dictionary...
It is probably as hard for both lee's and ler's depending on personality... Tobi being shy and bookworm darkness enveloped kinda guy didn't do much for Tobi, but it was interesting seeing their reaction... I should have shot that with camera...

 

[Duke Diablo]

IMO, it all depends on wether the one of the two persons is tied down or not. If he/she is, then it depends on which side is that person on.

 

[Featherdemon]

Mmm.

I would like to say that it was easier for me to admit that I was a ler rather than a lee because there seemed to be a greater need for a ler, especially on line. It seemed to me that it was almost taken for granted that you liked to be tickled and that it was your ability to tickle that gained the attention of other eyes.

Yet, in real life, I have yet to be faced by that dilemma. I would have to say, based on limited experience, that for me it would be easier to admit being a ler than a lee.

 

[shadowscurse1]

i think it would be easier for a girl to admit shes a lee then it would for a guy....but said karen blows that outta the water =P....i guess if your telling a bf/gf and you really trust them and love em its not too hard...just takes a lot of trust and non-judgementalism (ooo new word!) i dont think i would really tell anyone else what turns me on lol. No one else really needs to know.


EDIT: And why do my replys always end up starting new pages!? I hate being the first thing someone reads on something! *paranoia sinking in* <_<...>_>...<_<...>_>

 

[chode]

B.S. Its easier for the girl to ask the guy for ANYTHING. Wether it be that she asks to tickle him, or to ask him to tickler her. Or for anythig else. Any girl knows that a guy will do ANYTHING a girl asks when it comes to physical intimacy. (sp?)

 

[GRM13]

hey old time lurker here, who wanted to actually be part of the community and this is probably one to really start.

I agree that in the end it depends on the person. I'm a ler, but I've only told one person about my fetish (and god bless her for taking it without flinching) and trust me I was nervous during before during and after the process. As for the fact of ler can just ease in by sneaking some tickles, that again is not always the case, I've only had one case in which I gave a a few pokes in (I wasn't the only one as I just joined in) and I alone got a look of disgust. maybe I just picked a bad moment but that kind of reaction gets recorded on your head, which is why for me it's hard to even try sneaking in, remember. just because one is a ler, doesn't mean their dominant and brave, they can be quite timid shy as well.